A Free Man

I really tried to resist writing this post. I left it alone with Vitter and Florida’s Bob Allen but with the latest Republican sex scandal, I just can’t hold it in any more. The hypocrisy is just so thick and sticky that it’s starting to feel like a public mens’ room around the Capitol.

It’s certainly been a libidinous twelve months for the GOP. Larry Craig is just the latest in a cascade of Republican lawmakers and public figures in the past year to collapse under the weight of their own denial. Former Florida Congressman Mark Foley kicked it off last year when the knowledge of his creepy obsession with teenage boys became public. Foley, who campaigned against child pornography and for sexual abstinence, got caught sending dirty messages to teenage pages. He resigned his seat and his fall was one of the straws the broke the elephant’s back in the 2006 election.

Next was Ted Haggard, not a politician, but almost certainly a Republican as he spent a lot of time rallying the Christian Right for Bush in ‘04. The married Colorado evangelist preached against homosexuality but his true proclivities came out when a male prostitute told his story about a night of sex and meth with Pastor Ted. In November 2006, Haggard stepped down from his pulpit and went away for the two week homosexuality cure.

Lest we think that all Republicans are closeted homosexuals, Louisiana Senator David Vitter seems to prefer the ladies. But, funny thing, turns out that while the married lawmaker was talking about abstinence only education and the sacred vow between husband and wife he was spending a fair bit of time with prostitutes in both D.C. and New Orleans. But while Bill Clinton got impeached for his marital infidelity, Dave Vitter got a standing O on the floor of the Senate.

No, we’re not done yet. In fact, this is one of the best. From the Sunshine State - State Representative Bob Allen, a married Republican from Brevard County, gets busted in a Titusville park for offering an undercover cop a blow job and $20. Allen, who was also serving as John McCain’s state campaign chairman, initially claimed it was a misunderstanding but later made it worse by explaining that the big black cop frightened him and the offer of oral sex and money was in self-defense. Allen, apparently is a special kind of racist closet case.

Last, but certainly not least is Senator Larry Craig, Republican of Idaho, who voted against same-sex marriage and against expanding hate crimes legislation to protect sexual orientation. This story is all over the news this week, so no need to rehash it (in case you’ve not read about it - maybe not a political junkie - Newsweek has exhaustive coverage), let’s just say that if your best excuse is that you have “a wide stance” while on the loo, maybe it’s best to get some new PR guys.

Now, I’ve got no problem with Republicans, adulterers or homosexuals - I’ve got friends from all three groups, though admittedly more from the latter than the other two. I do have a problem with hypocrites and I have a big damn problem with hypocrites who preach, debate or legislate against something that they’re doing secretly in dark corners. I’ve got a big damn problem with right wing radio jerks like Dom Giordano comparing Massachusetts Congressman Barney Frank - an openly gay lawmaker who’s campaigned for homosexual causes - to Craig, a creepy mens’ room troll who passes anti-gay legislation.

Regular readers of Political Friday might note a difference in tone in this column. As a content expat, I usually strive for detached amusement when covering American politics. But seven years of Republican control has me just fed up with this kind of thing. All the “Christian” men that have been running the country are failing at practicing what they preach. They plunge us into foreign wars without having served themselves. They talk about small government and gut domestic social programs while spending trillions to rebuild Iraq. And they got re-elected in 2004 by using family values as a big part of their platform. I have no problem if elected official want to engage in dodgy anonymous sex in public parks and airport toilets, but if you’re going to do so, don’t run political campaigns on abstinence, the sanctity of marriage and family values. It’s time for the Republicans to get honest.

Image Credits:

Pride elephant

Popularity: 12% [?]