A Free Man

“Meet me at the bottom, don’t lag behind
Bring me my boots and shoes
You can hang back or fight your best on the front line
Sing a little bit of these workingman’s blues…”

-Bob Dylan - “Workingman’s Blues No. 2″

A couple of friends warned me that my political fervor would start to cool after having a child. I’m not sure if that is what’s happening or if I’ve just not heard anything in the news this week to get my blood boiling, but today I’ve got my second apolitical Friday post since Z was born.

I came back to work yesterday after another 2 1/2 weeks off with my fledgling family. In total I’ve had nearly five weeks off since Z was born. I’m thrilled with the amount of vacation time we get in Britain (I get 38 days a year) as well as the two weeks mandatory paternity leave. It means I’ve been able to spend a lot of time with my infant son in these early days. But it had to come to an end some time and yesterday it was a real struggle trying to get back into a routine.

This will not be a post in which I bitch about my job. The fact is, I really don’t have much to bitch about. As an academic post-doc the pay is a bit low, but beyond that I can’t complain. Unlike a lot of post-docs, I’ve got a boss who is very understanding about the work/life balance. I work for one of the best universities in the world. I have a lot of freedom to come and go throughout the day. Working for the university gives you lots of little benefits like subsidized lunches and gym memberships. I have opportunities to teach, something I really enjoy, and the teaching is in small groups with extremely bright students. I’m constantly intellectually challenged and have lots of opportunities to learn about topics outside of my discipline. I think I described my job, aptly, to a friend as an academic’s wet dream. The problem is that I’ve lost all interest in being an academic.

To be fair, I don’t think it’s just this job, I just don’t really want to go out to work at all these days. Since we found out Dr O’C was pregnant I’ve been trying to figure out ways that I could be the one to stay home with Z for the first six months or so. This is not out of any laziness, the last six weeks have showed me that baby care is a full time job for two parents, never mind one. It’s because my career is just not that important to me. For the last few years, my priorities have been changing and now that we’ve got Z, my new family is number one. I’d love to be able to see myself all the firsts that he’s going to have over the next several months. It’s not that I don’t want to work, I just would rather be there for my child as he grows up. The answer to the work to live or live to work question is for me a no brainer.

Britain has fabulous maternity benefits compared to the US, but very poor compared to other northern European countries. After the six weeks of paid maternity leave that Dr O’C gets from her job she’s on statutory maternity pay which is not even enough for us to pay rent. Unfortunately that maternity pay can not be paternity pay, otherwise Dr O’C would likely go back to work reasonably quickly and I would be a stay at home Dad for a while at least.

I dread the prospect of putting Z into childcare next spring, but it’s just a reality for us in this time and place. We need two incomes to get by in the south of England.
But, situations can change and I’ve got some hope that in the next few years we can work out that Z and any siblings that may come in the future have at least one parent - preferably me at home. If you are a stay-at-home Mom or Dad, I’m desperately jealous. I hope you realize how lucky you are. I’m sure it can be hard work, but if you ever get fed up just think about me and be grateful for the time you get with your kids.

Image Credits:

Scientist

Working man

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