“Some of them go for the sailing
Brought by the lure of the sea
Tryin’ to find what is ailing
Living in the land of the free…”
-Jimmy Buffett – “Banana Republics”
OK, this post may permanently ruin my indie-rock credibility, but one can not control what iTunes spits at you when you give the software the power of choice. As I was trying to lull Z to sleep last evening, Jimmy Buffett’s ode to Americans on the run came drifting out of the speakers. While I’m ashamed to admit it, I must say I enjoyed it. I don’t listen to a lot of Buffett these days – doesn’t seem apt in blowing Blighty – but if there’s anyone out there who grew up in Florida in the 70’s or 80’s who is not, even if only deep down, at least a little bit of a Parrothead then you can cast the first stone.
Anyhow, this was one of those songs that took me on a little mental trip – sleep deprivation will do that to you – and got me thinking about my reasons for running from the Land of the Free (TM). I could be all righteously liberal and say that I left the States because of what the Bush Administration was doing my country. I could say that I heard one too many nutty right-wing pundits say “America – Love it or Leave It” and decided to take the latter option. I could say that I was sick and tired of the endless stripmalling of America and the dead downtowns and the Walmart takeover of everything retail.
I could say all of those things but that wouldn’t be entirely true. Fact of the matter is I left largely for love. Dr. O’Cs family was in Europe in 2003 when we made the decision to move over here and as humdrum and unmoralistic as that may be, it’s the real story. All of the things I could of said above played a part in my willingness to leave, but when it comes down to brass tacks I wanted to continue my love affair.
And I have never regretted that decision. Not just because I’m as happy as I could be with Dr. O’C and our new son Z (OK, not always thrilled with colic baby/demon Z) but because I’ve found things I didn’t know I was looking for as an expatriate.
Fact is, England was not my top choice for our new life in Europe (I wanted to go to Vienna or Paris). I have never been much of an anglophile – I’ve just always thought of England as being too similar to the States – just smaller and with older buildings. In many ways, and the English hate to hear this, it is. The English are car-obsessed and getting fatter and love shopping and eating in the American chains that are creeping round the world. The south of England is slowly getting suburbanized with green spaces and beautiful Victorian building under threat of being destroyed for Asdas (owned and operated by Wal-Mart).
But for all the similarities, I’ve learned to really like England for its differences for its very English-ness. I live in a beautiful city that, if you get up early enough, allows you top pretend that you’re living in the 16th century. I’ve learned to get along with the Englishmen – once you get past their veneer of reserve, they are witty, easy-going and good fun. I’ve learned to love English sports – rugby is great fun to watch and I kind of learned to play cricket (at least stand around in the field). But mostly it’s a quality of life thing. Britain is a haven for free-market capitalism, but still hangs on to enough social democracy to insure that her people have an opportunity to live a good life. Free, good quality health care is available to everyone. There are still great green spaces and walking (rambling) is a national obsession. I cycle to work and can get fresh food at a market in the city center.
Sometimes it’s tough being an American abroad. People often make a quick judgment as soon as you open your mouth especially if your accent still bears some evidence of a life spent largely south of the Mason-Dixon line. I do some volunteer charity work on a telephone helpline. I often get into a conversation with someone and midway through something like this occurs:
Them: “If you don’t mind my asking, are you Canadian?”
Me: “Nope, American.”
Them: (With obvious disappointment) “Oh, right, sorry…er…not that there’s anything wrong with that.”
And in a funny way, I feel like I deserve it. I’m not the self-loathing American expat. I’ve never pulled the “I’m a Canadian” bluff to make thing easier. Sometimes I’m filled with patriotic verve. It’s just that the cartoon character stereotype of the American tourist or politician is hard to deny. Every time I see an American tourist bitching about the price of a Big Mac (blame our government for the devaluation of the dollar not the poor McEmployee), every time that I see our president struggling through some ridiculous foreign policy speech on the BBC, I remember why people jump to judgment. Fair enough.
We’re nearing the end of our time in Oxford, probably won’t see out another “summer”. Chances are that we’ll be moving out of Britain entirely, but it won’t be “home” to the States. My three years as an expatriate has taught me that things in America are not all they’re cracked up to be in the advertisements. I’m keen to try the next place on our world tour – this one may turn out to be home.
While I’m on an expat riff I’d like to point folks to a great expat blog aggregator. If you enjoy this type of blog or are an expat blogger yourself check out expat-blog. There are a number of great blogs from all over the world of people out of their comfort zone. I found some of my favorite daily reads like The Vol Abroad, The Cheese Stands Alone, Lucid in Deutschland and A View from Abroad at this site.
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by Strange Scottish Girl
08 Nov 2007 at 19:06
i really like this post
by Jamie
08 Nov 2007 at 20:29
The only time I listen to Buffett now is when it is 10 below and there is three feet of snow on the ground. I dearly miss being an ex-pat in Bogota, made even more fun as there were so few other ex-pats there.
by Hezamarie
08 Nov 2007 at 21:22
Wow. I mean, Wow.
Sleep deprivation causes such beautiful writing in you. Toward the end I got a sense of pensiveness, but it sounds like you’ve really enjoyed your time in Oxford.
Thanks so much for the plug. That’s sweet.
by Jason
09 Nov 2007 at 01:18
Nearing the end of your time in Oxford? So what’s the next step? Any ideas yet?
by JustJessie
09 Nov 2007 at 05:26
Are we really so disliked other places? I guess I’m comfortably oblivious.
I wish we could just unplug and go like you have. I hope to one day. Alas, there are degrees to complete and a billion steps to take before that could happen. (fyi, I’ve never actually said “Alas” out loud, but it doesn’t seem quite as dorky to write it.)
by Busy Dad Mumbles
09 Nov 2007 at 05:47
Chris,
English sports, Rugby and Cricket. It would be great to understand Cricket. Don’t get the wicket thing…
I have lived 8 years outside the US at different times in my life and wouldn’t trade it for the world. There are some great places in this world to visit but home is anywhere US.
Good Luck on where you pick.
by arizaphale
11 Nov 2007 at 12:37
Funny to hear someone waxing lyrical about the UK. I suppose Oxford is a pretty good spot though, compared to some, but for me the weather and the general claustrophobia outweighed the….
er outweighed the….er…no I can’t remember anything particularly…oh yes! Cheap flights to Europe.
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by » Belly chrisdellavedova.com: Ravings of an American expatriate in Oxford
14 Nov 2007 at 17:36
[...] but apparently all the sane pundits were busy. Is it any wonder that the British have a cartoon-ish view of Americans if guys like these our representing the U.S.? Anyway, DeLay took the opportunity to make an hour [...]
by HeavyGod
27 Nov 2007 at 10:10
Really good and really interesting post. I expect (and other readers maybe
) new useful posts from you!
Good luck and successes in blogging!
by Weber
18 Dec 2007 at 18:34
Dig the blog a LOT!
Nice style and I like the way you discuss the tracks. I’m going to book mark it.
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by Beware the demon bowler | A Free Man
08 Dec 2009 at 20:35
[...] I’ve written about cricket before. I’m a convert. So much so that I prefer cricket to its American cousin, baseball. My current mission is to gently guide my sons toward this, the more genteel of the Australian sports. I am fully aware that they may not be sporty at all, neither of their parents were, and that’s just fine. But, if we’re going to spend weekends watching them play a sport, I’d rather set up a lawn chair beside a vivid green on a warm summer Saturday than huddle in a driving July rain to watch them get mauled (Aussie football) or drift into a torpor whilst watching them fruitlessly kick a ball back and forth for 90 minutes (soccer). [...]