As of Friday, I am no longer an employee of the second best university in the world. It was a day I had been looking forward to with some relish – I’ve been unhappy in my job for quite some time. I expected to bound out the doors of my building with a spring in my step that only “freedom” can instill. But if I’m telling the truth as I walked out the door for the last time, I was a little bit sad.

For nearly the past year, my work has been a slog. Academic science, if you’re not inspired by it, can be truly unrewarding. I found myself stuck – afraid to make a change but unhappy with the status quo. What made my job at all bearable in that last year was the people with whom I worked. Three of us started within a week of each other back in the autumn of 2004. We were joined from time to time by other folks that came into and out of work – some of whom were just absolute joys, some of whom were, um, not. You spend so much time at work that you end up making some of your closest friends there. I didn’t spend much time out of work with my co-workers, but nonetheless I consider some of them great friends – that picture above is of three of my closest – and the source of that tinge of melancholy of Friday afternoon.

When I walked out the door for the last time on Friday afternoon, the three of us who started in 2004 were still there. I suck at goodbyes and did a pretty poor job of it on Friday – handshakes and platitudes and “I’ll keep in touch” promises. I just don’t know what to say – chances are I’ll never be back to Oxford – it’s not my home, I have no ties here and no reason to return. Chances are I’ll never see any of my work pals again – Adelaide is a long way from anywhere. The most appropriate thing to say would be “It’s been great knowing you. Have a nice life.” But the manners that were bored into me growing up just won’t allow that sort of honesty. What I should have said was something like what I’m writing now. You guys are my friends and I’ll miss you. Goodbye.

Friday morning was a similar situation. I’ve been meeting the same group of people nearly every Friday for breakfast for the past two and a half years. Sort of my own personal Breakfast Club. These people are some of the best friends I’ve ever had anywhere and have been a source of sanity for me through some trying times. In addition to struggling with goodbyes, I struggle with being the center of attention these days. I had to deal with both on Friday morning. As I did at work, I muttered and mumbled and didn’t say what I should have – you guys are my friends and I will miss you.

When I see Oxford receding behind me out the back window on Tuesday morning, I am going to be a little bit sad. Oxford is not my home and I have no ties here, but it’s been an incredibly important place in my life. My son was born here and no matter how much his mother tries to deny it – he’ll always been an Englishman. I learned a lot here, appropriate for a center of learning, about myself. I learned about strengths and weaknesses. I learned a little bit about how to be a better man. Oxford – I will miss you.

Image Credits:

Walking away

 
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