Despite coming to age in the 80’s, I just do not like 80’s music. It’s OK to hear a single now and then, and the early part of the decade (before my time) produced some good stuff. But what I think of as 80’s music is that horrible synthetic post-new-wave-dance pop. I mean, some of the top albums of 1989 were by “artists” like Paula Abdul, Bobby Brown, Debbie Gibson and Milli Vanilli. This is the music of my 18th year. I wasn’t really tuned in enough to be aware of alternatives beyond R.E.M., U2 and They Might Be Giants so musical options were limited. So, when I heard Sinead O’Connor’s version of “Nothing Compares to You” on a Jacksonville rock station on a trip home from college in South Carolina in 1990. I was hooked immediately, I was in kind of a tumultuous relationship and the lyrics (Prince’s, mind, but the delivery is what makes you yearn) really hit me:

“It’s been seven hours and fifteen days
Since u took your love away
I go out every night and sleep all day
Since u took your love away…”

I was also in a pretty deep depression, which may have had more to do with it, but nonetheless, I had without seeing O’Connor been struck by my first rock girl crush. I bought the album – “I Do Not Want What I Haven’t Got” and I wore out the cassette. I loved every moment of that album from when she opens with The Serenity Prayer in her soft Irish brogue to the stunning a cappella title track.

I think I listened to this album hundreds of times from 1990 to 1994 or so. And then, as these things do, my tastes changed and this album moved off the playlist. Sinead O’Connor went a bit off the rails after this album. “Am I Not Your Girl” is OK, though nowhere near as compelling as “I Do Not Want…”. Then she ripped up the picture of the pope, got ordained, became a lesbian, became a heterosexual, a wife a mother, a rastafarian, etc. In that time she also released albums of traditional Irish music and reggae covers and a couple of simply bad records. It just became a little bit too much effort to be a fan.

In 2001, Sinead O’Connor came back into my life in the guise of another girl named Sinead who walked into my life on a bitter cold Missouri night. Now, the connection in reality was only the coincidental similarities in nomenclature, but in my head… I began listening to this album obsessively again. She actively dislikes O’Connor, generally because I imagine she got teased a bit and has probably heard “Like the singer?!?” more than a thousand times in response to introducing herself. I’ve tried to woo her to the beauty of O’Connor’s music a few times, but she seems pretty set in her ways. I was however, able to convince Sinead that country music was not all bad and every now again she’ll hear a song, say “Is that Sinead O’Connor?” and not make me turn it off. It’s small steps.

“When I kissed you
You didn’t mind
I thought I tasted of too many cigarettes
But you tasted like wine
And I’m not going to change my mind
Just because of what they said”

A really good album is one that finds its way in to your life whether you want it to or not. “I Do Not Want What You Haven’t Got” is one of those albums. The late summer of 2005 was a crazy time for me personally and for Britain. The July 7 bombings had people on edge and responses were extreme. An armed police unit shot and killed a Brazilian electrician in a tube station after some faulty reconnaisance.

“England’s not the mythical land of Madame George and roses
It’s the home of police who kill black boys on mopeds
And I love my boy and that’s why I’m leaving
I don’t want him to be aware that there’s
Any such thing as grieving…”

Or brown boys in tube stations, maybe.

If you’re a frequent visitor to this site and are not convinced that I’m a music geek and potentially slightly OCD, I’ve been listening to my music collection alphabetically by album for the last few months. I’m now into the I’s. This morning, it was Sinead’s turn (O’Connor). A really good album can suck me in completely and everything else around just goes blank. From the opening prayer, which means something much different to me now than it did 17 years ago, I was immersed in this album like I was hearing it for the first time. That was my experience this morning – I even dawdled on my way to work so I could hear the whole thing. O’Connor’s voice is powerful, pure and spiritual. As a glimpse to her later career the musical accompaniment jumps around stylistically. But I’m a lyrics guys, and that’s where this album shines – it’s angry, mystical, rapturous, and ultimately redeeming. The album begins and ends in prayer of sorts and that’s where the redemption comes:

“So I’m walking through the desert
And I am not frightened although it’s hot
I have all that I requested
And I do not want what I haven’t got.”

MP3: Sinead O’Connor – “Feel So Different”

Sinead O’Connor’s “I Do Not Want What I Haven’t Got” is available from Amazon and Sinead O'Connor - I Do Not Want What I Haven't Got.

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