In the long run
The whole two job things is great, in theory. That was, until I walked out of the house yesterday morning. He followed me to the door with an expression of hopeful confusion and just wrecked me for the morning.
Working two jobs with a long commute, there will likely be days that I go to work before Z gets up (today, for example) and days that I get home after he’s gone to bed. This wasn’t part of the plan. But it’s for a finite period of time and hopefully allows me to have more time with the boy, in the long run.
I can’t abide anymore Eagles, so rather than their long run, how about Emmylou’s (courtesy of Steve Earle) ”Goodbye”.
Popularity: 25% [?]
Of course you know I learn about Liam’s behavior in the future by looking at Zach.
I complain, mostly to myself, that I can’t get anything done while I’m here with him, and that God didn’t put me on this earth just to look at a baby because I was destined for greatness and now people think my greatness is having a calm baby, but I can’t imagine what his mother is going through. At least it’s a win-win when she comes home, because she can’t wait to be with him and I can’t wait to let go for a while.
24 Jun 2008 at 2:41 pm
My nephew used to cry “Don’t Go! Yucky Work!” as his daddy left for the office in the morning. You could write a country song around the theme and get Emmylou to sing it.
The problem is that this feeling of abandoning your kids can haunt you well into their school years. There were several school holidays in a row where I had to drop the kids off at a 9-5 program and they HATED it. And at that age they can express their displeasure with far more eloquence than “don’t go, yucky work!”.
Sorry. That’s probably not the kind of helpful anecdote you were looking for. I’m glad the arrangement is temporary
Trish’s last blog post..I remember this feeling.
24 Jun 2008 at 4:35 pm
I was going to say something profound about time with the child etc, but you already know what it’s all about.
But…. Goodbye is very probably my favourite track of ALL times. I adore both of their versions, and both of them.
Xbox4NappyRash’s last blog post..A UV light at the end of the tunnel
24 Jun 2008 at 6:16 pm
I completely understand how his look made you feel. During my single parenting years there were many times when I left before the little one was out of bed and got home long after she was asleep. It tears out your heart when they look at you like that.
I admit there are days now when I miss my career. I have moments where I think about going back to it. Then I remember how it felt to basically have someone else raising my kids. Even though they’re all in school now, I know my job wouldn’t just stop when their school day ends. It would go well into the night just as it used to, and I can’t do that again.
I quickly realize how very lucky I am that one income is enough to pay the bills. There is nothing on this earth my husband could have given me that would have been a better gift than allowing me to be here when my kids leave every morning and come home every day.
24 Jun 2008 at 9:56 pm
Poor Zach. At least this is temporary.
courtney’s last blog post..I Still Wish I Could Have Seen the Transvestite Parade
24 Jun 2008 at 11:25 pm
You and Hubbie are so in the same boat right now. We know this is a temporary step in the process, but it is killing him. I am keeping LittleBird up later so they can at least have a little time together in the evenings. They had their first golf lesson in the backyard last night. You know where to go for the photo and commentary.
NATUI’s last blog post..Moron Monday: Cat? What Cat?
25 Jun 2008 at 12:23 am
Awwww.
That’s so sad. Jeff has to leave at 5:30 everyday, and he loves it when the boys wake up for a minute and call his name. He’ll go in and steal a few snuggles and kisses before he hits the road. I think it’s super sweet, I just wish they would go back to sleep afterwards!
Jessica K’s last blog post..Does This Movie Make My Butt Look Big?
25 Jun 2008 at 12:23 am
Hi
When I was wee my granny lived with us cos my mum worked in a hardware/timber yard all day. I used to jump out of bed when I heard the car start and wave at it from my window as it drove away. I was always very sad to see ‘mummy’ drive away and it made me love her so much that she did a bad job just to get money so we could have a nice life. and any time spent with her (e.g. playing piggy in the middle at weekends) was the greatest memories I have from when i was very young. When we got to 10 or so she became a teacher so our gran didnt have to live with us and she could be home by 4.
So the moral of the story is I did not like seeing my mum working long hours, not seeing her in the morning or night, but when I did see her at the weekends I loved her so much. i guess that sometimes happens in families that are split and they only see one parent at weekends, cept mum didnt do the guilt thing of never telling us off and buying presents, cos she was still our mum, and it was only for 7 years or something.
It probably was made worse by the fact my granny, although with all good intentions, was probably too old to look after 2 toddlers, so i used to hide under the dining room table so she wouldnt find me. Once I got locked in a bathroom for what felt like hours and when she did eventually come to let me out she hit me for hiding. Like I meant to! NOT!
as you can tell I’m still bitter! whatever, if you love your child and show it they’ll love you back, and there are lots of things he’ll remember when older, I dont remember anything before I was 4 anyways.
Over and out
SSG’s last blog post..Update
25 Jun 2008 at 1:10 am
I grew up with a single working mom and I believe now as an adult, it’s not how much time but how good the time. When my husband has to work long hours, he balances that with more truly connected time with the kids. A game of chess with the boy, tea party with our 4 year old and snuggling with the baby.
By the way, thanks for jogging my memory on the Emmylou song, I randomly downloaded this one from Limewire and liked it enough to buy it- thanks for reminding me.
formerly fun’s last blog post..Frenemies
25 Jun 2008 at 1:21 am
I hate those days. But I love this song, and Emmylou’s version is easily one of my favorite recordings of all time.
David Kennedy’s last blog post..Gone fishin’…
25 Jun 2008 at 10:44 am
luke cried when i left him at daycare today , i am usually free on wednesday so he is confused and not very happy with me…it broke my heart seeing him hiccup with tears running down his face…..and he is nearly 6 years old …i thought it was supposed to get easier
i was wrong
give a kiss to zach for me
25 Jun 2008 at 4:29 pm
ahhh, man, I’ve been here and I know how much it sucks. It’s true what they say, they don’t remember specifics at this age — they have no concept of time. But they do remember how you make them feel, it sort of becomes a part of their makeup. You’ve given Zach an amazing foundation — he feels it and knows it and now it’s on to the next thing, for now. Until it all changes again.
Maggie, dammit’s last blog post..Why I haven’t been blogging…
25 Jun 2008 at 11:27 pm
Just keep holding out for that long run. It’ll pay off.
Gypsy’s last blog post..Treading water
26 Jun 2008 at 12:04 am
Two jobs is tough, but if it is not permanent it’s doable. The Eagles seem to be wearing out their welcome with a lot of bloggers I know!
Starrlight’s last blog post..I Just Hope You Have Your Reasons- WW 57
26 Jun 2008 at 1:33 am
I remember going back to work when the BA was 10 months old. It was only 3 mornings a week and we had a great childminder but I remember feeling cheated. When I started doing up my house and all the family rallied round to babysit while I took plaster off walls and dug out patios, I sometimes felt like everyone got to play with my baby except me!
This too shall pass.
arizaphale’s last blog post..Of Viruses and The Best Medicine
26 Jun 2008 at 11:23 pm