Z’s Music Monday: k.d. lang
“Smoke dreams
From smoke rings
While a cigarette burns
I keep yearning for you…”
It’s about time that Z and I got around to this particular Canadian chanteuse, because k.d. lang saved my life.
I started smoking in High School and unlike most people’s experience, I didn’t start smoking because of peer pressure. In fact, nobody that I knew smoked. That’s not to say that tobacco use was uncommon, just that most of the people in my school preferred it in the form of snuff, or chaw or those stupid little tobacco teabags - Skoal Bandits. I, being that most clueless or rebels, preferred the more lethal delivery system that a cigarette offers.
Once I got to college, however, I let my smoking out of the closet. Virtually any participant in the college parties that I frequented would have a Marlboro Light hanging out of their mouth at some point in the evening. College is where I got properly hooked and became a smoker. Being a smoker meant that chances are if you saw me between classes or on a break from work that I would have smoke pouring out of my mouth and nose. Being a smoker meant that I was a rebel, not afraid of death or social conventions. Being a smoker meant that I smelled like the bottom of an ashtray most of the time and struggled to climb more than three flights of stairs without taking a break. Being a smoker meant that I literally burned up thousands of dollars a year on something that was slowly killing me (that’s some impressive marketing). And, as time wore on, being a smoker meant that I was in a constant battle to quit smoking.
I can’t tell you how many times I tried to quit smoking, I can tell you that the battle spanned a couple of decades. Every time I ran into a health professional of any sort, I was encouraged to quit and I occassionally listened. I tried patches, gums, inhalers, Zyban, cold turkey, Alan Carr, tapering down, hypnotism, and not trying. Sometimes I would quit for a few days, weeks or even months, but ultimately I was sucked back in by the lure of nicotine induced peace of mind. It was largely the physical addiction, the strength of which I can attests to, but a big part of the problem is that my whole identity was tied up in being a smoker. Nobody, outside of Mormons and marathon runners, was a non-smoker. Smoking was part of my image, part of my style and I didn’t know who I was without a hard-pack in my shirt pocket and a Zippo in my jeans.
But as I write this today, I do so as a proud non-smoker, as someone who hasn’t smoked in over a year and a half. What happened is nothing magical, there was no pill that I took that made me into a non-smoker. In fact, the last time wasn’t that much different than any of the scores of times that preceded it. One big thing that was different was that we had just found out that Dr. O’C was pregnant. I had always said that if she got pregnant then I would quit, but I don’t think either of us had very high hopes. Something had changed, though, and this time it just worked. Take home lesson - if you want to quit smoking then go get someone pregnant.
It was still hard work and I shouldn’t be so glib. I used patches and these new nicotine lozenges, which taste like sugar-free breathmints, for ages. I am, in fact, still addicted to (non-nicotine) sugar-free mints. I re-read Allen Carr’s book. I think that his “Easy Way” franchise is a bit of a scam, but there are some gems in there. Particularly the idea that when you quit, rather than envying smokers you should pity them. There’s nothing like a bit of healthy self-righteousness to get your blood flowing in the morning. And, I listened to k.d. lang’s “Drag” album over and over, especially when I got the nicotine withdrawal crazies. “Drag” is an album of covers, all of which involve smoking in some form or another - hence the name. Now, if you think it is a bit masochistic to listen to an album that is all about smoking whilst trying to give up smoking, then you don’t know me very well. The songs on “Drag” are so smooth, so lush, so languid that just listening to the opening strains of “Don’t Smoke In Bed” was enough to drive the fiercest nicotine craving out of my head. k.d. lang saved my life or at least extended it a little bit.
“I have a habit i have been trying to lose
Everyone thinks that they know what they want
Sometimes your drug chooses you
There are some things that I’ve promised myself
Things I haven’t done yet
It’s my last cigarette
This is my last cigarette…”
—————-
These posts, of late, seem to be drifting away from their stated purpose. Beyond it’s powers in the realm of smoking cessation, “Drag” is just a fantastic record. It’s probably the best cover album ever recorded. Lang’s at the top of her game vocally and the musicians that she’s brought forward with her after the disaster that was “All You Can Eat” seem to have gotten her conceit perfectly. You can tell from the cover that this album is going to be be playful and slightly twisted. With her cabaret cover of Steve Miller’s “The Joker” and the tongue-in-cheek sincerity of “Theme From Valley of the Dolls”, Lang shows that she’s not taking herself too seriously. But then with heart renching performances like “My Old Addiction” and “My Last Cigarette” she just blows you away. Her voice is fantastic - sensual, rich and smoky.
Z did get a hefty dose of k.d. this Saturday afternoon as well as this story and a bonus lecture on the dangers of smoking. One of the reasons I quit when Dr. O’C fell pregnant was that I didn’t want to expose my child to second hand smoke and didn’t want him to think that smoking was cool. (That’s assuming that he’ll think I’m cool, an unlikely scenario). Although, in my sample size of two it seems that children are less likely to smoke if their parents do - Dr. O’C’s folks smoke and she’s never had a cigarette; mine are vehemently anti-smoking and both my sister and I smoke(d).
It’s neither here nor there as the lecture and story were pretty well ignored - a response to which I should probably get familiar. But he liked the music. Z’s a sucker for a good sing-song, and if accompanied by melodramatic lip-synching and maraca shaking, he can be held rapt for a good two to three minutes. Z seems to like a good torch song.
“Don’t Smoke in Bed” opens “Drag” and “I Dream of Spring” is from k.d. lang’s newest release “Watershed”. Both of these are available from 
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Popularity: 16% [?]
Her vocals are magic, she could sing a bus timetable and sound good.
….but…I think her material let her down overall…
Xbox4NappyRash’s last blog post..As I sit in a pool of my own estrogen
07 Jul 2008 at 5:17 pm
I had to sneak to listen to k.d. lang while I was growing up. She was (in whispered tones) a lesbian. I wasn’t supposed to listen to her, I was supposed to pray for her soul. But I loved her. I secretly wanted to kiss her to see what it felt like. (I had a total girl crush on Melissa Etheridge.)
Both of my parents smoke, and all three of my siblings smoke. I have never even had one in my mouth. My mother had a heart attack a couple years ago. Both of her lungs have collapsed multiple times over the years. Yet she smokes. That’s how I know it’s a serious addiction. She’s 64. She’s been smoking since she was 12. My mother is even more afraid to die than most people, but she can’t quit smoking.
I’m really happy you did. Zach is happy you did. Oh, and he’ll think you’re cool up until he’s about twelve. Start preparing now for the day when you realize he’s walking just a little faster than you, not because he has more energy, but because you’re not cool enough to be seen with!
07 Jul 2008 at 7:25 pm
hey
i think research shows that children of parents who smoke ARE more likely to smoke, at least that’s what the posters say…
http://www.mad.co.uk/BreakingNews/BreakingNews/Articles/d7249a42cb3d44c8a4cc9067c83a0e48/Anti-smoking-campaign-targets-parents.html
http://www.ash.org.uk/ash_ml6d389y.htm#5770
http://www.foxbusiness.com/story/markets/industries/health-care/parents-quit-smoking-children-likely-smoke/
ssg’s last blog post..Still no internet
07 Jul 2008 at 9:40 pm
hey
i think research shows that children of parents who smoke ARE more likely to smoke, at least that’s what the posters say…
http://www.mad.co.uk/BreakingNews/BreakingNews/Articles/d7249a42cb3d44c8a4cc9067c83a0e48/Anti-smoking-campaign-targets-parents.html
http://www.foxbusiness.com/story/markets/industries/health-care/parents-quit-smoking-children-likely-smoke/
http://www.ash.org.uk/ash_ml6d389y.htm#5770
ssg’s last blog post..Still no internet
07 Jul 2008 at 9:42 pm
Definitely love k.d.’s voice.
I’m usually a proponent for allowing people to do what they will as long as they don’t hurt any one else. It’s a shame that smoking cigs is so bad for others around. Smoking, like it or not, is appealing - it has a sexy and, as you say, rebellious element.
I’m sure it will be a number of factors that will dictate whether Zack will be a smoker or not. Ultimately it should be his choice. It’s totally cool you’re give him a chance to be smoke-free when he can’t choose for himself.
Hezamarie’s last blog post..STICKY: upgrading blog
07 Jul 2008 at 11:01 pm
“Trying To Quit” Chris was always fun to mess with…
07 Jul 2008 at 11:56 pm
I can never tell if it’s k.d. lang or clay aiken at first glance. They look so much alike.
I hope by the time our kids are teenagers they will be too smart to smoke. Or maybe it won’t be cool anymore? I wish.
Jessica K’s last blog post..Old Tire Swing
08 Jul 2008 at 12:04 am
I so wish Lancelot would quit smoking, but in a secret, shameful part of me I do find it sexy.
Gypsy’s last blog post..This kind of made my day
08 Jul 2008 at 12:46 am
Heza and Gypsy’s comments make me want a cigarette….
Seriously, isn’t it amazing the job that the tobacco companies have done in advertising. Say that a drain cleaner firm wanted to sell more product. So they decide to market their product as something that you should drink for pleasure. Yep, it’ll kill you, but that’s neither here nor there. If they could make drinking Drano seem mysterious and sexy then - gold mine!
That’s what tobacco companies have been able to do. Genius.
08 Jul 2008 at 9:38 am
Except the didn’t let you know that it killed you and apparently people thought that they could inhale a mix of toxic shit into their lungs for 40 or 50 years and get away with it… STUPID.
08 Jul 2008 at 10:10 am
I used to have dreams that I smoked. And I felt very cool doing it. I was never a smoker in real life, but I was pretty popular in my dreams.
NATUI’s last blog post..Pardon Me While My Legs Fall Off
08 Jul 2008 at 10:11 am
Exactly, Dr. O’C. My mother loves to tell her doctor the same thing. When the thirty something man looks at her and scolds her for smoking, she informs him of the fact when she became addicted, no one told her it was going to kill her. People let their children smoke! Heck, they were tobacco farmers More sold was more profit. Nobody told them the things were filled with toxic chemicals that would kill you and everyone around you.
08 Jul 2008 at 9:12 pm
Just to be devil’s advocate, you’d die after drinking drain cleaner once; you can smoke 40-50 years before you die. To pull that off for drain cleaner, you’d probably have to dilute it at least 1000x…meaning you’d have to sell more than 1000x more bottles than are currently sold. Doesn’t really pencil out.
08 Jul 2008 at 11:06 pm
Smoking is a disgusting habit (that’s the first time anyone’s ever told you that, right?) and I’m glad to hear you’ve quit. I just don’t think smoking is something parents should do.
But I am truly impressed with tobacco companies’ marketing. Can you think of a single other product on the market whose chief side effect is cancer and death?
courtney’s last blog post..Further Proof That I Am Easily Amused
08 Jul 2008 at 11:25 pm
Excellent post. Glad to hear you’ve pulled the plug on the habit. My dad smoked for 50 years and then woke up one morning and decided enough was enough. He stopped cold turkey that day and hasn’t had a puff for 10 years. Better late than never, eh?
Keep it up.
09 Jul 2008 at 3:07 am
Before you go thinking smoking is sexy let me tell you what happened yesterday. My ‘non-smoking’, “I only have a cigar now and then” husband kissed me goodbye and as I flew down stairs and got into the car I thought….phew, someone’s been smoking in my car!!! The BA could not smell it and I put my head out of the window to see if it was in the garage. Negative. Took me a few moments to work out the smell was on my LIPS under my NOSE!!!!!!!!! bleeeeuuucchhh! NOT sexy. Definitely NOT sexy. If he gets mouth cancer I’m not kissing him anymore. My amazing sister gave up on her 40th birthday having smoked for 26 years. I take my hat off to both of you.
arizaphale’s last blog post..Crafty Tuesday: A Knitted Cushion
09 Jul 2008 at 10:19 am
mmm i do love nicotine though
09 Jul 2008 at 7:55 pm
I smoked from between like 16 and 25 and like you, attempted quitting many times. I quit for periods of more than a year and then would have one now and then until it blossomed into a full blown habit again.
I knew I would never smoke when I was pregnant but I didn’t realize I wouldn’t smoke again after that. I had cravings and thought about it but I just couldn’t do it.
Once I had children, I couldn’t in good conscience do anything that would shorten my life. I never wanted my kids to have to grieve an early, unneccesary death. It’s funny to me that I didn’t have the same concern for myself, at least something finally worked for good. They change everything don’t they.
formerly fun’s last blog post..He Said, She Said - 3
10 Jul 2008 at 1:55 am