An open letter to my (remaining) religious readers

18 Sep 2008 at 08:52

A Free Man

Hi y’all,

I’ve been throwing a few bombs your way lately, haven’t I? I got an e-mail from one you last night expressing disappointment with a throw-away line that I left in my “This I Believe” list. It was a joke, albeit a not very good one. One of the limitations with the written word is that it’s hard for the reader to see my wink, my tongue in my cheek. Short of using emoticons, something that I absolutely refuse to do, it’s pretty hard to get tone of voice accross. My initial reaction was to write back saying, “C’mon, it was a joke!”, but then, I realized that my tone has been pretty anti-religious of late. I’ve been gunning for you guys lately, pretty much since my Sarah Palin post (which wasn’t a Sarah Palin post). I’ve always said that I don’t have a problem with anyone’s religion as long as they keep it to themselves. Since the Palin appointment I’ve begun to realize that statement isn’t entirely true.

I’ve got a problem with the Catholic Church. This stems from their refusal to change their stance on birth control, the cover-up and protection of priests that abuse children and their sexist structure. This problem is so big that Z remains unchristened. Dr. O’C comes from an Irish Catholic family with all the baggage that goes along with that and even though she hasn’t set foot in mass in decades, refuses to let Z be christened in a Protestant church. I, because of my social-political problems with Rome refuse to let the boy be christened in a Catholic Church. We’re currently sitting at an impasse.

Most of all, I have a problem with Fundamentalist churches. I blame George Bush and the last 8 years of clusterfuck on the Fundamentalists. The Religious Right undeniably put Bush over the top in 2000 (well, actually it was the Supreme Court, but let’s leave that aside) and 2004. The G.O.P and its fundamentalist Christian allies made the political agenda about social issues in the last two presidential election and it worked to their benefit. The “Culture War” is a creation of some clever marketers and all that it’s doing is distracting from real problems – like an American economy that’s falling to bits and the two wars that people are dying in on a daily basis and the fact that Americans are spending far too much of their dwindling savings on health care. And they’re doing it again with this damned Palin thing. Sarah Palin is a creation of the Religious Right and it’s designed to get those “values voters” involved again and while the Left is fixated on her tanning bed, the banking system is collapsing. When I said that your God is a bit of a dick, I was talking to these marketing people, these leaders who are willing to watch the country fall apart if they can just keep gay people from getting married. Phew.

BUT, and this is the critical bit, I do not have a problem with individual people of faith. I have the great respect for people of faith. I am a person of faith, that was the whole point of the “This I Believe” exercise. One of the things that is great about blogging and one of the reasons that I’m slightly addicted to it is that you get to “meet” people that you wouldn’t under normal circumstances. Most of you are now not people that I know in real life and I doubt that I would have met most of you even disregarding the geographical challenges. We wouldn’t run in the same circles our paths wouldn’t cross. But having “met” and “talked to” a number of you over the past year or soI’ve come to realize that one’s religious affiliations don’t necessarily make them who they are. Just because you are a Catholic, or an Evangelical, or a Fundamentalist doesn’t make you the enemy. Just because we have massively different political agendas doesn’t make you wrong. Just because we disagree about evolution or vaccines or Barack Obama. In fact one of the things I find most gratifying about this blog is when there is an active, yet civilized, debate in the comment stream. At the bottom of everything we’ve got the same goals – a good life for ourselves and those we love – and the differences in the paths we choose are what make life interesting.

I’m going to scale back the religious rhetoric here on A Free Man. I respect you guys too much to keep breathing vitriol, in jest or not. Here’s a gratuitous baby photo as a peace offering.

Your friend,

Chris

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* The offending remark is gone because I didn’t like it that much to begin with. The e-mailer will remain anonymous. It’s not who you think. You won’t guess and I wouldn’t tell you if you did. Move on, nothing to see here.

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23 Comments

by Andrew

18 Sep 2008 at 10:39

I get what you’re saying about making readers upset and that’s good of you to not offend and alienate them, but this is YOUR site and YOUR opinions.

Nobody should tell you what or what not to say. If you have a problem with George Bush or the Catholic Church or assholes who leave their cell phones on during movies, you have every right to say that. Readers should also understand that it is only your opinion and if they feel a different way than how you feel, then you should just agree to disagree.

But don’t stop writing what’s on your mind. That’s what makes this site interesting.

Andrews last blog post..Listening to Colin Healy and the Jet Skis
by maggie, dammit

18 Sep 2008 at 10:46

Gratuitous baby photos solve everything, don’t they? We should try that in the middle east. Look at this picture of Osama as a baby, wasn’t he just a cutie patootie??

I’m not helping, am I.

For the record, you should say whatever the hell you want to say. But I do respect the way you respect your readers.

maggie, dammits last blog post..up for air
by Vixen

18 Sep 2008 at 11:21

Just a couple quick things:
I know which line you speak of, but apparently I took it as you meant it and was not offended or put off. I have no problems with your stance on religion or the Catholic church, although I am a practicing Catholic. I firmly believe we are individuals who practice our religion individually whether we are part of a specific church or not. I enjoy reading other people’s perspective on the things I believe in because I believe knowledge is power and that all things should be questioned. Lastly, I am so grateful for the internet because, as you said, I have been able to forge friendships with people who I may never have been able to meet in real life. And some of those people stick. I hope you don’t change who you are here, because I would miss that person.
by Trish

18 Sep 2008 at 11:52

Just for the record, I’ve never found myself disagreeing with you, but always found myself wishing I could put things into words as well as you do.
by admin

18 Sep 2008 at 12:03

Thanks for the words of support guys. I know that it’s my blog and I can say what I want and typically do, without second thought. The posts that get the most attention are the ones that get people riled up. BUT, I don’t want to lump anyone who’s religious into one category because that’s short-sighted and kind of prejudicial – the kind of thing that I abhor. So there you go.
by Chris

18 Sep 2008 at 13:07

Chris,

I got a couple of stop posting political stuff or I’m going away emails. My blog, like yours, is not a “political” blog. However, I took to heart the comment you left after my first “I am a feminist, this is what I believe..” post, about how we need to speak up, we have to keep talking.

I realized that I hate arguing and I hate when people are displeased with me but I have to be confident enough in what I believe to put it out there(I promise it won’t be all I do dear readers). The far right does this very well, they talk all the time, they indulge in rhetoric and it works.

Like I said before, liberals too often assume that people who look at the same information you do and come away thinking different probably can’t have their minds changed, and maybe that’s not even the point, because I certainly don’t need to change people’s minds.

Here’s the point(I know, you’re thinking WHEN is she going to get to it?), discussion online lead to discussions in offices and among friends. Since the announcement of Palin on the ticket, lots of people I know have started talking, people who never talked politics before. I’m fired up and it’s exciting, it feels like there is a directive, momentum and a mission. I’m guessing this is a little like what it must feel like to get all riled up about a couple of gays who want to get married(good for the economy by the way) or abortion.

It’s also a call to action, a reminder that those of us who feel strongly about these core issues that we need to show up. I have continually reminded like minded friends with spotty voting records that they must be present or they give up their right to bitch.

I’m certainly not saying you turn your blog into the Huffington Post but please don’t stop posting your beliefs. It’s inspiring to know there are other people who share some of my ideas and ideals, I’m also learning a lot about science dawg. You are also far more respectful to those who think differently than most.

Chriss last blog post..The Meds Don’t Look Like They’re Working
by Agnes

18 Sep 2008 at 16:11

I absolutely loathe shows like Home and Away, Neighbours and Big Brother, but do I ring up the TV stations and complain about them? No, I simply don’t watch them. If people don’t agree with what you’re writing, or don’t understand it, then surely they should be mature enough to agree to disagree, or to just stop reading it and move on.

Exploring differing opinions is always a valuable exercise though, and can often make you reflect on your beliefs and help to clarify the reasons behind them. So I would definitely continue to write about these more ‘controversial’ issues because I also think that provoking discussion and debate is far more preferable than sitting back and doing nothing.

Bottom line: it’s your blog Chris, and you shouldn’t hold back from what writing what you want. I think you’d be letting yourself down if you felt that you need to censor yourself all the time. Your regular readers aren’t going anywhere, and if any of them do decide not to read anymore, well then they just didn’t get you in the first place then, did they?

And I don’t use emoticons either.

Agness last blog post..I love the odd cover
by Angel

18 Sep 2008 at 19:32

oooh baby photos will always work. I agree with Maggie on that!

I have never been offended by anything I’ve read on your blog. Your posts have made me wonder if you’re the type to be so anti-religion that you automatically judge and think less of those who practice it. I’m glad to know you aren’t like that.

It says something about you that you’d have second thoughts about what you might be projecting here, that maybe it “sounds” a bit off from what you mean to say or whatever. But everyone really is right. It’s your blog. In the end, I hope you always write exactly what you want to write because I really enjoy reading it.

I’m just happy you find time to keep it up even with the two jobs and family and being on the front lines of the avian wars!
by Jessica K

18 Sep 2008 at 23:09

I’m probably one of your more religious readers (duh), and I have to tell you, you have never offended me. If I thought you were ever attacking me personally, I would stop coming here. I have never felt that way. Of course I didn’t appreciate the notorious line in the last post, and that’s why I didn’t comment on it. You weren’t asking me for my beliefs; you were simply stating yours.
You are one of the friends I have made online who I would definitely not have the chance to know in life, and I too hope you continue to be yourself (though I don’t think you could stop if you tried!).

Jessica Ks last blog post..School Update
by Nathan B.

19 Sep 2008 at 01:32

I guess knowing that you’ve been fairly anti-establishment (at least for the time that I’ve known you), I haven’t seen your posts as personal. But as soon as you fire a shot across the bow of my church, The First Church of the Almighty American Commercialism, I’M OUT OF HERE!
by Gypsy

19 Sep 2008 at 05:07

Is it ok if I still kinda think Fundamentalists are the enemy? I know that’s not very accepting, but I can’t help it.

I do understand, though, not wanting to be prejudiced.
by Joe

19 Sep 2008 at 07:45

ahh…. you just need to add the tag to those lines.

I think Sarah Palin would make a phenomenal vice president

Also…. people that disagree with your views on Obama… you probably don’t want them as readers anyway, amiright? See… it works for everything!

Joes last blog post..My baby girl!!
by Joe

19 Sep 2008 at 07:47

Sorry about the above post… that didn’t display, at all, the way intended… I’ll try it again:

ahh…. you just need to add the *sarcasm* tag to those lines.

I think Sarah Palin would make a phenomenal vice president *sarcasm*

Also…. people that disagree with your views on Obama… you probably don’t want them as readers anyway, amiright? *joking* See… it works for everything!

Joes last blog post..My baby girl!!
by courtney

19 Sep 2008 at 08:01

I agree with all the above comments; you should feel free to write what you want and let people make of it what they will. It’s your forum. But if you’d rather switch gears, that’s also your call. I’ll keep reading.

I also think sarcasm is the hardest thing to convey in writing.

courtneys last blog post..Hi-Ho, Hi-Ho
by admin

19 Sep 2008 at 10:48

Chris – have you seriously gotten e-mails like that? Even the e-mail I got wasn’t threatening, just disappointed. I thought your “political” writing has been brilliant. And your 9/11 post for that matter. Read the comments here, fuck ‘em, write what you want you’ll get more readers than you’ll lose with passionate writing.

Agnes – you and Dr. O’C wouldn’t get along very well. We have to work around Home & Away on a daily basis. What is it about Aussie TV anyway? Why does it suck so bad? It’s just American reality shows and then Australian versions of American reality shows.

Thanks for your words by the way.

Angel and Jessica – Obviously I’m going to have to try harder if I’m not offending you yet.

Nathan – You may not want to read my post on Monday then – working title “How American Commercialism Has Destroyed The World As We Know It”

Gypsy – Shh. I do too.

Joe – Is that better than emoticons? <

Courtney – That’s cause sarcasm is lazy. But then I am a lazy man.
by Joe

19 Sep 2008 at 12:23

I’d say it’s a little better than emoticons, but the bigger point is that it’s much better than deleting parts of your post because you worry it may be misunderstood.

Joes last blog post..Farmer Brown is a drunken A-hole
by Agnes

19 Sep 2008 at 15:31

Couldn’t have said it better myself! That’s why I don’t watch loads of TV. I am totally addicted to Grand Designs on the ABC though. Am sure there are worse vices to be had!

Agness last blog post..I love the odd cover
by SSG

19 Sep 2008 at 23:20

i been away and missed the agro, but it’s good to get what you believe down on paper, it makes it feel good. I won’t give my opinion on christening, as like you said, it’s OK to have faith as long as it doesn’t mean you force others to think like you (e.g. by banning books). that’s the most difficult thing though isn’t it… if *someone* thinks a certain thing is right- e.g. Jesus died for our sins and we can find redemption, or evolution shaped the natural world around us, or communism is the greatest thing ever, or blue is a nicer colour than orange, then don’t most people want to “convert” (for want of a better word) people who don’t see them same as them, or are most happy to sit and get on with it themselves… it’s a difficult line, yeah, with orange and blue it’s OK, but you could argue for the case of religion they want to save others, or their belief is converting others is a part of their religion, or way of life, or for the case of governing attitudes, that convincing others will make the world a better place… man it’s difficult
by Vera

19 Sep 2008 at 23:50

You know what’s funny. That in Italy, *the* Catholic country, in a sense, people are waaaaaaaay less religious than elsewhere. Sure, every kid gets baptized, and people marry in the church, etc. But noone takes the Church, or the Pope, too seriously. And correct me if I am wrong, but isn’t the US the country with most regular church-goers?

Here is how I see it, and I am talking about Christianity b/c it’s the only one I know. There is religion in the sense of world-view. So people are christian [lower-case 'c'] because their values come from Christianity. If you were raised in a christian country you imbibed those values automatically. And then there are Christians, who believe in “One God, the Father Almighty…” [the Nicene creed], who must believe that Christ had died and was resurrected, by definition.

Being born an atheist (in a socialist country) I have been lucky enough to get to know a handful of amazingly smart and well-read believers (only one priest among them), and the vistas that opened up are amazing. Many of my scientists/academics friends throw the baby out with the bath water when it comes to Christianity. It is not a simple and trivial ‘opium for the people’, it is a well-developed sophisticated philosophy, to say the least. On the other hand, just saying that one is religious is meaningless. Or, to paraphrase CS Lewis, I’d much rather play cards with an honest non-believer than a crooked Christian whiz.

Oh, and Clizia isn’t baptized either. I (a Christian Orthodox) want her to be baptized by the only priest I respect and he is in the US, and my husband (a Catholic) doesn’t want her in the Catholic church ‘machine’. We both think she needs to decide for herself when she is able to do so.

Lot more I can say here on things like imposing your will/deciding for another (both priests and politicians), separation of church and state, church in politics, … but it’s too long as is, and it’s your blog. So you can say what you like. And I like it not because I agree with you on everything (though I seem to on an awful lot) but because I can learn something.
by Vol Abroad

20 Sep 2008 at 06:42

Hey, did you get your boy an orange trike? Excellent!

Vol Abroads last blog post..Buddy encounters a squirrel, and two new toys
by Florida Girl In Sydney

20 Sep 2008 at 13:25

Btw- I’ve added you to my Australian Blogroll.

Florida Girl In Sydneys last blog post..Things Worth Telling
by Ryan

21 Sep 2008 at 04:21

Amen, brother.

“To each their own” I always say…unless, of course, they’re religious. It’s a personality flaw, but it’s one of many, and I see no point in giving it precedence over the others. But, like you, just because I disagree with a person’s spiritual-outlook, well, that doesn’t mean we can’t have a coffee and talk baseball. Or movies. Or about me. Maybe about them…it depends.

Anyway, whatever. We’ve all got our ways of looking at things, and, as you know, opinions are like assholes: brown, shaped like a starfish, and really, really smelly.

Again, whatever. All I know is that I’ve missed coming here; I’ll be back as soon as humanly fucking possible.

Love Ry*

*Dude, it’s hetero love, man. Didn’t you know I was a goddamned dirty hippie? That’s right – I’m completely against the concept of bras…unless I’m wearing one in drag.

Ryans last blog post..
by NATUI

21 Sep 2008 at 06:18

Dude, I hate that I’ve been so out of the loop. Here is the best I can do in a short period on a foreign computer:

We had both kids baptized in the Catholic church because for all its flaws and for all the tons of things I don’t agree on it is ‘what I know’. And here is the key to it: It is what I know; therefore, I know the shit storm that is coming and can temper it with what WE believe and how to sift throught the shit they are going to hear. My theory (as flawed as it is), is that the Catholic church is a known evil. If we were to ’switch’ to another church or expression of faith, I would not know the pitfalls. In the Catholic church, I do. I want my kids to grow up with a base. Something to compare the rest of their religious knowledge/experiences to. In giving them a start with our version of Catholicism (and most would not consider me to be a good Catholic) they can use it for a springboard to make an informed decision. Do they like it? Stay with it. They don’t like it? Discover what they DO like and make that change. There is more to it, but I’m on borrowed time here. Wish I could have a beer with you and Dr. O’C and express myself properly.