A Free Man

Deep South Smack Talk continues this week as the hated Tennessee Volunteers roll out of the hills of east Tennessee and into an almost certain ass kicking at the hands of my beloved Georgia Bulldogs. Those of you who have been reading A Free Man for a while may remember the humiliation visited upon my entire clan last October by The Vol Abroad. This picture will certainly jog your memory. What started off as a bit of harmless expat trash talking, escalated to a wager and then to a full on feud. You can take the SEC football fans out of the South, etc. It all ended quite badly for Boy Z, Timmins and I.

Well, for the last 370 days I have been plotting my vengeance. But alas, it is not to be. The Vol Abroad, despite being a graduate of the University of Tennessee, is not a fool. She’s demurred on my challenge to repeat last year’s bet, so the world will have to wait to see Buddy in glorious red and black. She has agreed to write up a guest post, attempting to sing the praises of the hapless Tennessee Volunteers who have a date for destruction in Athens this weekend. 

Visitors get the first shot here, so let’s see what The Vol Abroad has to say in defense of her hillbilly orangemen:

My grandfather was one of the finest men I ever met.  He believed in temperance and civic duty and going to church on Sunday (and Wednesday) and looking a man in the eye.  And he believed in the Tennessee Volunteers.  I’m not so much on the church going or the temperance, but I managed to absorb the love of the Vols. And this is something I’m passing on to my sixteen month old son.

As a third generation graduate of the University of Tennessee on both sides of my family and with both my degrees coming from that hallowed institution, there was never any other place for me to put my fan love.  Cut me, and I do bleed orange.

But my British husband, who’s described on my blog as the Vol-in-Law, is merely a Volunteer by marriage.  He also has a family tradition in higher education.  He’s a third generation graduate of Oxford University.

So Buddy has inherited rival traditions.  Oxford on the one hand, and Tennessee on the other.  But what kind of love can a boy have for Oxford? As far as I know, their only major sporting event is the Oxford-Cambridge boat race. Go Dark Blues? Beat the Light Blues?   Sure, I guess it’s ok to dress up and stroll around the Thames with a Pimms in hand.  But that hardly compares to joining almost 100,000 fellow fans dressed in orange and singing Rocky Top, over and over and over again in a manner guaranteed to raise a migraine in the skull of any opposing fan.

But of course, as an expat, I don’t have the societal reinforcement of SEC football fandom, but I’m doing my best to raise him right. Dressing him in orange, teaching him to say ‘Go Vols’, trying to lull him to sleep with Rocky Top (bad idea), giving him little Smokey toys to play with and ensuring that he gets sufficient doses of Vol Network internet radio coverage.  He may be the only boy in the world whose baby album features a picture of the baby of a Georgia fan dressed in Tennessee Orange because his daddy lost a bet.  Before he attends his first football game at Neyland Stadium, he’ll know every word of Rocky Top, he’ll know about running through the T, and he’ll understand the Volunteer grumble in a bad season.  And he’ll hate, hate, hate Alabama, Florida and Georgia.

Yep, I’m raising my boy right.

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Maybe this isn’t the best year to be laying down the smack talk about football.  My beloved Tennessee Volunteers don’t seem to be having their finest season.   But as our fearless leader said only last week, we’re still a work in progress and I’m sure all the fine recruiting and two-a-days in the Tennessee heat will come to fruition this Saturday when Tennessee thumps Georgia. Again.

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And in reply, speaking for the home team, your underwhelming correspondent:

Like John McCain and the economy, you’ll note that The Vol Abroad doesn’t want to talk much about football this year. Taking her cues from the G.O.P. playbook, she’s trying to turn the discussion to family values. Well that’s just fine, I think we all know what’s going to happen on the football field this Saturday, so let’s talk about family.

My family is a wandering one. I always felt a kinship with gypsies growing up and held on to the dream of dropping out of mainstream society and running away with the gypsies until about the 274th time that some wild-eyed gypsy woman tried to bully me into buying a sickly geranium on the streets of Oxford.

My point is that my family hasn’t spent three generations in the same country, never mind manning the same moonshine still on some mountain side.  So for me, the University of Georgia was a choice that I made with clear eyes and a clear head. I wanted to attend the finest educational institution that the South had to offer, so there was no real decision to be made when I received an acceptance letter with an Athens postmark*.

Now, we’re half a world away from Old Georgia and chances are that Boy Z may not follow in his father’s educational footsteps in the same way that I didn’t follow in hos grandfather’s.  Boy Z may never walk under the Arches as a student, may never study in the shade of the oaks on North Campus, may never sit with his classmates in Sanford Stadium sweating in polyester gowns under the brutal June sun.

But I will guaran-damn-tee you two things. First, he will be the biggest Georgia Bulldogs fan in Australia, at least until he gets old enough to rebel. Even then as long as he doesn’t cheer for Tennessee or Florida, it’ll be OK**. Second, one day he will walk into Sanford Stadium with his Dad and watch the glory of the Georgia Bulldogs between the hedges. He’ll hear the roar of the crowd, the sound of 90,000 plus voices barking a kick-off, he’ll hear the Red Coat Band play “Glory, Glory”.

And on Sunday morning he’ll sit with me as we listen to the Georgia Bulldogs dismantle the Tennessee Volunteers.

Now, let’s talk just a little about the real issue: the game. It’s personal after the beat down that The Vols put on us last year and the humiliation that was visited upon myself, my son and my dog. Fortunately for A Free Man’s honor, it looks like a good year for revenge. Tennessee is 2 - 3 on the year with losses to a hapless UCLA team, a sub-par Auburn team and an overrated Florida team. Their wins have come against UAB and, in a squeaker, Northern Illinois. The Vols offense is ranked 107th out of 119 Division 1 teams. Now, admittedly, Georgia was not impressive against Alabama two weeks ago, but the boys in red and black have had two weeks to stew in their embarassment. Tennessee has taken us apart for the last two years and it’s time for revenge. If the Dawgs can’t get up for this game, then they just can’t get up full stop.

We’re doing all we can for the Dawgs from half a world away. As you can see in that photo above, Boy Z and I went out and made a sacrifice to Nemesis, the Greek goddess of revenge. That kangaroo was the closest thing we could find to a fleabitten, mangy coon hound. And if you listen carefully on Saturday afternoon, you’ll hear us singing:

Glory, glory to old Georgia!
Glory, glory to old Georgia!
Glory, glory to old Georgia!
G-E-O-R-G-I-A.

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Tennessee at Georgia kicks off at 3:30 p.m. Eastern (6:00 a.m. Sunday Adelaide or 8:30 p.m. London). It’s televised on CBS in the States. CBS offers the game for free online but ONLY IN THE U.S. Damn you, CBS! The Vol Abroad was working on a hack, perhaps she’ll let us know if she sorted it out. Otherwise, it’s internet radio for the expat fans.

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Ryan Adams’ “Demolition” is available from .

Vol fan in horror borrowed from Hey Jenny Slater (excellent Dawg site).

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* For sticklers for the truth, this is actually a longer story and thus not strictly true. The whole, longwinded tale can be found here.

** If he ever cheers for Tennessee or Florida or becomes a vegan, I’m kicking his ass out.

 

 Ryan Adams - "Tennessee Sucks" [2:55m]: Play Now | Play in Popup | Download

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