With apologies to William Shakespeare, Kat Stratford and poets everywhere:
- I hate the way you cannot count and blame you for the last eight years.
- I hate your endless strip malls. I hate your garish beachfront condos.
- I hate your big flying roaches and all your violent crime.
- I hate you so much it makes me sick — It even makes me rhyme.
- I hate your overpriced theme parks. I hate your tourist traps.
- I hate your phallic capital and its corrupt political denizens.
- I hate your Disney franchise. And the money it will cost me as a Dad.
- But mostly I hate your Florida Gators — Percy, Tebow, Meyer; I hate them most of all.