In Defense of Dads
I got bogged down in the perfect storm of work obligations last week, resulting in a weekend spent almost exclusively writing lectures, exams and reports. The only thing that kept me from becoming A Bitter Man was that I managed to wrangle myself a day off on Tuesday. A free midweek day with Boy Z is enough incentive to plunge through an Australian spring weekend spent hunched over a computer.
A day with the boy is a joy these days. At 13 months, he’s a ball of energy and exploration. Days with Papa are party days, and I make sure that we get out and about - usually to the beach. I love my time with Boy Z and consider myself to be the very model of fatherhood.
My day was nearly ruined as I was surfing around to the blogs of people who had commented on my old site. The Anglophile Football Fanatic, apparently a “feisty wee bitch”, had written a post casting aspersions on her husband’s and her own father’s parenting skills. Now, I don’t know her from Eve but as, at the time of writing, she and her son were both still above ground, I think that her post was a bit unfair. Dads get a bad rap for being the distracted and reckless member of the parenting pair. Sure, when I was three years old I fell out of the attic onto the concrete garage floor whilst under my Dad’s supervision, but there’s nothing wrong with me. (Well, I am a bit funny looking and have a penchant for self-destruction, but that’s probably not due to a ten foot drop as a toddler.)
Well, Ms. Limey Lover, A Free Man can be a feisty wee bitch as well and I take umbrage with your thesis. I would consider myself an excellent and responsible parent. In our family, in fact, I would propose (and Dr. O’C no doubt would agree) that I am the better parent. In fact, I would go so far as to say that Dads in general are the vastly superior parent.
To prove my hypothesis, I have photographic evidence of a day of Daddy care…
I can get Boy Z dressed appropriately for the day…
And make sure that he gets a nutritious meal.
I can teach him to drive…
….to climb….
….to swim…
…and to hunt for food. Basically, all the skills that a man needs to develop.
What have you got, Moms?
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Is he eating a pebble in the “swimming” photo? And why’s he only wearing pants 50 percent of the time? Must be Australian-rules parenting.
Nicholes last blog post..A waitress with a thing for fangs
29 Oct 2008 at 6:17 am
The hunting picture still has me giggling.
I’m not even going to try to front like I’m the better parent. My husband is more patient, a better cook, and generally more relaxed. And if I made as much money as him, he’d be the stay-at-home parent.
But the kids still love me better. Because I pay them.
29 Oct 2008 at 6:33 am
Hey, is that some sort of fried fish Zach is eating? I assume all fried seafood tastes the same everywhere (fried), but perhaps it is different on your prison island? I know this is Florida Hate Week (soon to be followed by Georgia Self-Loathing Week), but you must admit the yokels can fry up some fish in FLA, no?
29 Oct 2008 at 6:45 am
Do stab the gulls with the fork!
I dont see many moms today able to teach their children the nescessities of life in the way you can.
Andrews last blog post..Smells like legal trouble
29 Oct 2008 at 6:49 am
Nichole - Um, it’s a seashell. You know, for calcium. Pants are optional in Australia because of the heat. It’s a warm day so I went to work without pants.
Ginny - One day he’ll get one. We almost got a duck the other day. Yum, Peking duck.
Jamie - Yes, that was fish and chips - with no vegetables, as Dr. O’C kindly pointed out. Your family could cook some fish. I’ll exempt them, but not you, from Florida Hate Week.
Andrew - That’s what I’m saying.
29 Oct 2008 at 7:22 am
If you can teach him to ask for directions, find things in the fridge and remember an anniversary, then I’ll be impressed.
Prefers Her Fantasy Lifes last blog post..Meg’s First & Last Serious Post (Maybe)
29 Oct 2008 at 7:25 am
Is he gonna poke himself in the eye with that fork in the last frame?
And my kids are totally trained to fetch beer from the fridge. HA.
29 Oct 2008 at 8:42 am
Looks like you have all the basics down. Good on ya.
29 Oct 2008 at 9:51 am
You know, Prefers, after we run out of oil things like asking for directions and finding things in the fridge are going to be irrelevant. Killing water fowl with a plastic fork, however, will be absolutely crucial.
Maggie - Who, old one eyed Z?
Rambling - Nice use of Aussie slang!
29 Oct 2008 at 10:02 am
Heeheehee! Hahaha! I’m so glad I stopped by for a read tonight.
Poor guy looks like a drunk stumbling around without his pants on… While the wonderful parent snaps the pic. If you were a mom, you’d be shopping for a new camera today, because you would have thrown it trying to save the baby. 
Chasing the birds with a fork is the best though.
Jessica Ks last blog post..Just In Time for the Cocktail Party
29 Oct 2008 at 10:31 am
The climbing photo onto the dock/pier is my fav. What a great action shot.
As for the parenting bit, both Hubbie and I have our strong points, but I have to say that I think he is DEF the better parent. Way more patient, way more willing to take them outside and run them until they drop. I think a lot of it has to do that I am at home with them all day every day. I think I don’t appreciate my kids the way I ought to.
NATUIs last blog post..Biological Fathers Cause Cancer
29 Oct 2008 at 11:47 am
That boy’s got some happy, rosy cheeks and in the pics, he’s got like three different hats on, it’s cool that you’re secure enough in you masculinity to play dress up with him. Where are the pictures of you?
There’s a reason we’re supossed to have two involved parents, with just one, no matter how good a job they do, there’s probably going to be some therapy involved. Every parent has their assets and liabilities so too much time spent with one and I think you lose balance, I know I did.
Like a couple of the other women, I’ll concede my husband is definately the more patient one and yes, willing to brave places like Target and the grocery store with all three of them, something I never do. Whether it’s me or one of the kids having a breakdown, he’s great at just holding you ’til you get it together, it’s one of his nicest traits. I on the other hand am the fixer, the ‘let’s sort this out’ parent.
The kids need both so I’m glad they have us both. We’re like the Wonder twins, much more powerful and effective joined together, “wonder twin powers activate .” If you remember them, you’re old.
Chriss last blog post..Now I Know How the Muppets Feel
29 Oct 2008 at 12:25 pm
Um, is he eating a shell in one of those? Excellent.
I know all of this is true, my kids definitely like my husband more than me– but that might be because they say “cookies”, and he says “how many?”.
Florida Girl In Sydneys last blog post..The Pizza Delivery Man- Love Life Week Continues
29 Oct 2008 at 12:32 pm
JK - The gift of falling down is you learn to get back up again. See, Dad parenting. And who else, but your Dad, is going to post a picture of your package on the internet.
NATUI - I think his Mum actually has slightly more patience, but I definitely get around with him more. Can’t stay at home or I get boooooorrrred.
Chris - Actually it’s two hats, one of them is reversible. Hats are a must in the ozone layer free Aussie sun and I bring multiples when we go out because he will NOT leave them on his head. “Form of glacier!” Yep, old.
FGIS - I actually won’t give him cookies, so I have to compensate by taking him to the beach to hunt.
29 Oct 2008 at 12:39 pm
Okay, I just went over to her blog and read the post which inspired your Defense. Because I haven’t commented on her blog in a while I don’t want to been seen as a troll, so I am going to say it here.
I do NOT understand these women who marry guys and CHOOSE to have babies with them and then treat them like they are mentally and emotionally incapacitated and won’t “let” them watch their own children. This kind of behavior is exactly why I can’t stand mommy clubs. It is the exact reason I have very few female friends. How would they feel if their husbands turned the tables on them? “Sorry dear, I don’t think you are capable of watching our child. Why don’t you just go fold some laundry and I’LL take care of Junior.” Ugh and double ugh.
NATUIs last blog post..Biological Fathers Cause Cancer
29 Oct 2008 at 1:41 pm
NATUI - I try and be a nice guy and avoid confrontation so I’m not going to say a wimpy “no comment”.
I’ll send you a mail offline.
29 Oct 2008 at 2:54 pm
wimp.Is that the sort of skill you’re teaching boy Z? hope not!
Anyways, where’s Dr O’c’s comment, or is she in the background rolling her eyes? And the first photo, isn’t he falling over? Looks a fun day out though. Today it is -4oC here. MINUS FOUR!!!! And we’re not allowed to put the heating on cos it’s EXPENSIVE
WAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
29 Oct 2008 at 6:02 pm
what, she calls her husband PUPPY?
SSGs last blog post..Rant
29 Oct 2008 at 6:04 pm
Outstanding post! It reads exactly like something my husband would write. The photos tell the story all on their own.
You absolutely are a great dad. No doubt about that.
I cannot stand men who call watching their own children, “babysitting”. And on the reverse, I can’t stand women who have children with a man and then insult him by suggesting he’s not capable of watching his own children.
I think Z has the best of both worlds, and I don’t grade you easily because I like you. I am a total daddy’s girl, so I know a good dad when I see one.
29 Oct 2008 at 7:12 pm
what beach is that?
nursemyras last blog post..hey shortarse
29 Oct 2008 at 8:55 pm
My father taught me to snow ski, water ski, ride a bike, drink beer, crack jokes, and fight back.
You seem to be on the right track.
30 Oct 2008 at 12:20 am
Pants are so overrated. Every good dad knows that.
Those gulls better watch out — Z is dangerous with forks, I hear.
30 Oct 2008 at 1:33 am
Well, as I’m still the one carrying our child around inside of me I haven’t been able to let Matthew have one-on-one bonding time with our tyke yet, but you can bet your sweet bippy he will. We even plan on working shifts for quite a while before we put her into day care. I’ve gotten some disparagement about this actually, mainly from men. I know he’s going to do a great job and am not even a little bit worried about it. I accept that things will probably not be done “my way” but I’ve gotten used to that.
As for who will be the “better” parent, I think that’s pretty subjective. I’m pretty sure Matthew will be the more fun parent, and I’ll have to be the get down to business parent, which will make me the bad guy, and I already feel like it’s not going to be very fair. But a kid needs both things, and two parents who love her, so I have faith ours will do just fine. As Matthew says, for the first year, all we pretty much have to do is keep her alive.
Aprils last blog post..One month to go
30 Oct 2008 at 2:02 am
Hilarious post. LOVE the pictures.
Bluestreaks last blog post..Some Fellow American I Am
30 Oct 2008 at 3:08 am
Dads are WONDERFUL parents. You men tend to be much more relaxed with the kids and that’s a great thing. I think maybe what drives us gals a bit nuts is that sometimes that relaxation (in my case, no toy clean-up) can make a bit more work for mom the next day when taking the job back over. Other than that? My hubby is an excellent father and I’m sure you are, too.
Coal Miner’s Granddaughters last blog post..Therapy
30 Oct 2008 at 4:46 am
Great post! Superb pictures. From someone who is both Mum and Dad I’ll let you know how it turns out. Anyone got any recommendations for therapists?
Seriously though, two of our closest friends as the BA was navigating baby/toddlerhood were stay at home dads and they generally made me feel pretty inadequate. They could both cook! Still, my kid ate better than both of theirs. You can’t fight good genes.
Oh, and you may not give him cookies, but you give him fish and chips?
30 Oct 2008 at 6:53 am
SSG - What, politeness and respect? I know as a Scot that you wouldn’t know much about that - senga. Yes, that was mid fall, I love the shot. Eyes closed in anticipation, cup falling through the air. One of my faves.
Angel - Thanks, but I only show the good things on the blog. Didn’t show pictures of the time I let him fall off the bed while playing with iTunes and made him bleed for the first time.
Nurse Myra - Henley.
Gypsy - Hope that I can do as good a job.
Courtney - It’s another warm humid day, so I again went with the pant optional rule at work today.
April - That was a hard one for Sinead as well (and me to a certain extent as well). Nothing is going to be your way from here on out, I’m afraid.
Bluestreak - Thanks!
CMGD - Yeah, I have a tendency to be pretty useless on the down and dirty work as well.
Ariza - Are you implying that fish and chips aren’t healthy?
30 Oct 2008 at 7:23 am
haha, this post is a riot. Oh how I miss fried fish joints. I hope you have some hot sauce for the gulls. Start the boy early on hot sauce
30 Oct 2008 at 7:39 am
Wow - I think I must parent more like a dad. Maybe I shouldn’t leave Buddy alone in my care.
Vol Abroads last blog post..Toothless Buddy.
30 Oct 2008 at 5:31 pm
Heza - I’ll have to try the hot sauce. I gave them lemons on this day, which annoyed them slightly.
Vol - That’s because you’re from Tennessee, you have to hunt for most of your food up on the mountaintop don’t you? Or at least learn to shoot straight so you can git the ATF guys coming for your still.
31 Oct 2008 at 9:35 am
GREAT POST! I thoroughly enjoyed it. Wife noticed me laughing and asked what was so funny. I told her a half lie. I didn’t mention that someone shares my opinion on dad’s being the better parent. Instead, I showed her the photo of Boy Z hunting for lunch.
Joes last blog post..Super-baby
31 Oct 2008 at 10:51 am