A Free Man

Well, Jamie called it in the heat of Florida Hate Week - Georgia’s year of self loathing has begun. But there is still work to be done, still games to be played. This weekend the Dawgs have to head up to Lexington or Louisville or some-damn-where in Kentucky for a date with the feisty, fiery Wildcats of the University of Kentucky. When I decided to make this a weekly feature I knew exactly who I was going to rope in for this week, and she’s graciously agreed to come aboard to stand up for her ‘Cats. Please welcome Angel from Passionate Chaos:

Dawgs are bigger, but kitties have claws.

I’m certain that A Free Man’s loyal readers who happen to be SEC football fans think it’s really sweet of him to invite a Kentucky fan to write in his smack down series.  I mean, really.  But there is something you might not know about UK fans.  We are all heart.  We are not bandwagoners.  Once you’re a UK fan, you’re always a UK fan, and you’ll defend every single play until the field/court is cleared, the lights have been dimmed, and the stadium/arena is long silent.

A couple things you also may not know is that UK football actually is pretty historic.  Again, unless you attended the University of Kentucky or you’re just a real football nerd, there’s no reason to know something like, UK was the first SEC school to even play the game!  We were the first school to sign an African-American player in the SEC.

Paul “Bear” Bryant.

Okay, seriously.  I could go on with little bits of trivia about historic UK football, but let’s be realistic for a moment, even if it hurts.  Until about eight years ago, if you said something about the UK football team, the response would have been, “Kentucky has a football team?  Who knew?”  We weren’t exactly a big deal, and we know that.  We haven’t won a championship since, I believe, 1976?  “The Immortals” are the only team undefeated in UK history, and that was in 1898.  It’s pretty sad if you have to go that far back in order to find something to brag about, I know.  So let’s move forward a few… decades.

Coach Rich Brooks has slowly but surely challenged and fought and struggled our team into something we can talk about above a whisper once again. Suddenly we’re winning small, yet noticeable bowl games and ending years on the positive side of things.  (No one expected us to beat Clemson in the Music City Bowl, now, did you.)  Last year we ranked ninth nationally in passing.  You might be thinking why would we brag about being ninth? That was higher than any other SEC team, so there!

<We had a winning season last year, and that had us pumped and ready for this year, but we knew it would be a struggle from the very beginning.  After all, we did lose our star player, Andre Woodson, to the NFL.  I know you aren’t supposed to hang all your hopes on one player, no “I” in “team”, blah blah blah.  But let’s be honest, the dude kicked serious ass, and now he’s gone.

So we’re back to most teams giving us a solid nod with a knowing smile behind the helmet.  It would be so very dangerous to count us out just yet, however.  We’ve been known to surprise.  Certainly, most people didn’t even bother to watch that game against #1 LSU last year which meant they didn’t see us beat them in that triple overtime battle.

Yes, we may have to reach back in time in order to find something to slingshot us forward, but like I said, when you’re a UK fan, you’re solid. You’ll do whatever it takes to find something to brag about.  I’ve gone as far as to get guys to a game by reminding them Ashley Judd never misses one. UK all the way, baby!

So, go ahead, be cocky.  Be sure we’re just a blip on your radar.  Plan to give us the beating Florida deserved.  Prepare to take out your humiliation on us, we can handle it.  Just don’t count us out before it’s safe to do so. We’ve been known to bite your ass when you turn around to strut away.

———————

And in reply, your underwhelming correspondent…

Cocky is not what Georgia Bulldogs fans are right now, Angel. You know, when you lose by 39 points to your arch-enemy it’s kind of hard to carry on with the bravado and bluster that I have to date this season. In fact, it’s hard to put much smack in my talk at all this week. I’m hoping that the team doesn’t have as much trouble getting up for this game as I am.

The fact of the matter is that I have very little confidence in the Dawgs this week. They didn’t fare any better against Florida (damn, I hate Florida) than Kentucky did. The last time the Dawgs headed up the road to Lexington or Louisville or wherever the university in Kentucky is, they got beat 24-20. Last year at home, the ‘Cats gave them a run. The ‘Cats are kind of like Vandy, always annoying and gritty and determined to pull the upset.  And they do so more than they should.

Hell, I would say we’ve got a pretty good chance of going up there (is it Frankfurt?) and getting properly pussy whipped**.

You know what, no. I shall not be beaten. I shall not be demoralized. If I am then the terrorists win.  Angel, we’re going to come up to wherever the hell your cute little Moonshine Tech is and smack you six ways to Sunday.  The ‘Cats aren’t going to know what hit them and you’re absolutely right that Horsebreeder Stadium will be silent, but most likely from the opening kick. The ‘Dawgs have three more games coming up, including the Deep South’s Oldest Rivalry and Clean, Old Fashioned Hate. Kentucky is just an appetizer just a speed bump on the road to a 10 - 2 season. And we’re going to take out the collective frustrations of the Bulldog Nation on your meek little kitties.

Do you know why? So I never have to see this expression on Boy Z’s face again when I dress him in the red and black. Watch out Kentucky, you’ve got an angry pack of Dawgs headed your way.

———————

* You had to know that today’s song would be “Kentucky Woman”, didn’t you? The only question was which one - the campy Neil Diamond original or the gritty Waylon Jennings cover. For me, it’s  a no brainer, but I had to guess which version Angel would prefer. That last sentence about ass biting clinched it: Waylon all the way. Rest in peace, Hoss.

**Pardon the obvious, and in dreadfully poor taste, double entendre.

 

 Waylon Jennings - "Kentucky Woman" [2:20m]: Play Now | Play in Popup | Download

Popularity: 43% [?]