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Damn it. As I got off the bus on the way into work earlier this week, Rundle Mall (the main shopping street in Adelaide) was bedecked with plastic snowmen, Christmas bulbs and chubby Santas – in the first week of November. Nooooooooooooo! Are you seriously expecting me to be festive for two months, for one-sixth of the year?
I have sort of a love/hate relationship with Christmas. Well, that’s not entirely true, it’s more just the latter. In recent years, I’ve learned to tolerate the holiday and with the arrival of Boy Z last year almost relished the season. But not this year. This year, I’m going Grinch.
It’s largely because of the seasonal reversal here in the Southern Hemisphere. Christmas Down Under is in midsummer, but the Australians have maintained most of the traditions of their felonious progenitors (turkey, stuffing and sedition). I just can not get my head around eating a full Christmas dinner when it’s 40C (104F) outside. The Christmas trappings here are the same as they are in cooler climes: Fur draped Santas who must bog down the local ERs with heat stroke complaints during the holidays, spheroid snowmen in a part of the world that hasn’t seen snow since the Mesozoic. Come on Aussies, after 220 years of baking Christmases, couldn’t you have come up with some climate appropriate Christmas icons? A Santa in board shorts driving a surfboard pulled by a team of kangaroos? Eucalyptus trees trimmed with jingle-bell adorned koalas? Willy the White-nosed Wombat? Something?
I think I may have gotten up on the wrong side of the bed this morning. But I fear that this is going to be a Joni Mitchell kind of Christmas.
It’s coming on Christmas
They’re cutting down trees
They’re putting up reindeer
And singing songs of joy and peace
Oh I wish I had a river
I could skate away on
But it don’t snow here
It stays pretty green
—————–
Nothing better to cheer one up, though, than a nice word or two about one’s self. The Noble Savage, a fellow expat blogger, gave me the much coveted I Heart Your Blog award. I blush.
The best thing about the award, well beyond the stroke to my ego, is I get to pass it on to seven writers worthier than myself. I’m always up for working on my blogging karma. I’ve discovered a few new blogs (and have been relishing some old ones) in the past few weeks that I would strongly recommend. I would go so far as to say I heart them:
- My first two awardees are a couple of ladies with whom I have a lot more in common than just the blogging. Mongolian Girl is a Misery based commie who brags about disrobing in front of presidential candidates among other things. I would describe her site, The Cusp, as gonzo blogging. A must.
- I found the Indisputable Topcat whilst searching for bloggers to hold down the Auburn end of next week’s Smack Talk. I still don’t know how she came up in a search for “Auburn Tigers” but I’m glad she did. Australian, husky owner and a smashing writer.
- One of my oldest blogging buddies has said she’s quitting the blogosphere. I hope she changes her mind, but if not, I’d like to give Just Jessie this award posthumously. Maybe if we all go over and beg her to stay she’ll reconsider.
- Everyone and their Great-Aunt Siobhan blogged about the election, self included. But Matt and April really nailed it with their post-election posts. Fantastic, well thought-out politics at The Bauer Confidential.
- As we’re into another weekend of college football, I’ve got to direct some hearts in the direction of A Bulldog in Exile. The Dean is a Georgia Bulldog in King Corn’s Court and is doing some fantastic ‘Dawg blogging up among the unwashed Midwesterners.
- I find it difficult to explain why I like Carrie’s blog Reconstructing Fossils, but I’m well hooked. I think it’s the kind of “Truman Show” quality of it, she doesn’t use a lot of words but I warn you there’s something addictive about her photographic diary.
- One of my consistently favorite reads is Malfeasance. But Courtney lives up to her blogging pseudonym: she is evil incarnate and, I believe, single handedly caused my beloved alma mater’s humiliation in Jacksonville last weekend. So, rather than rewarding evil doers, I will offer this award to her better half who blogs at The Prettiest Denny’s Waitress. All the writing chops of Malfeasance with 50% less evil.
Have a Christmas free weekend, gentle readers.
——————–
I was too depressed to take my own photo, so had to nick this photo of the Rundle Mall Xmas decorations from here.
If you don’t own Joni Mitchell’s “Blue” then you really should. It is available from 
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I refuse to start the Christmas thing this early in the year, but once I get started, right after Thanksgiving, it’s all about the holiday for me. I love the feel of the season. I can’t imagine having to celebrate it down there under your conditions. It would be seriously depressing for me, I think.
As much as I love it, once it’s over, it’s over for me. It’s like I go to bed on December 25th as the ultimate tacky Christmas lady and wake up on December 26th as Grinch. The tree has to go. Everything has to go. That stuff has NEVER made it to New Year’s Day around here.
We are starting to have our own traditions. If you google six white boomers you will hear our version of rudolph the red nose reindeer. Also not many have hot xmas dinners these days, we have seafood lunches cooked on the barbeque instead.
What a creative way to rub it in our faces that you have beautiful weather over there, while we’re over here freezing our a**es off.
Joes last blog post..Wordless Wednesday v.Found My Feet
thanks for all those great links, I love checking out good recommendations
nursemyras last blog post..corset friday 7.11.08
Ditto. Misery Girl sounds like Sistah.
Prefers Her Fantasy Lifes last blog post..My Harried Week
I meant Mongolian Girl, of course.
Prefers Her Fantasy Lifes last blog post..My Harried Week
Funnily enough, even though my entire childhood and all but 8 years of my adulthood have been spent in Summer Christmases, the 8 Christmases I spent in the UK just felt right. It is the one thing I miss (apart from family and friends) about the UK.
Once in Sydney I succumbed and went to the beach with friends. Worst Christmas ever. Just NOT right. I guess it comes from being a child of Poms.
As for Aussie icon Christmas things, you just haven’t been here long enough. They exist. Oh yes. They do exist. And they are VERY tacky. Mostly. I do have one nice tea towel with wombats in Christmas hats but let’s not go there……
Going to the Pageant tomorrow???? Guess that’s a no then…
arizaphales last blog post..Obligatory Post For The Day zzzzzzz
Wow! Hey! Commie? Misery? Gonzo? Damn Free Man! You’re making me want to rip my pants off for Obama all over again! And…get this…I was reading this post and thinking two things: 1) Christmas in warm climates is nice as long as Santa’s wearing a thong. 2) What’s up with those ‘I love this Blog’ things and how do they work? Kismet! Oh, and the gonzo thing? It made me think of how, should I have ever met Thompson, I would have ripped my pants right on off. I’ve even got a picture of him in my house. Thanks for the love you Aussiefied American you!
mongoliangirls last blog post..Look! There’s lint on your shoe!
Oh, and I want to know how to use ‘CommentLuv’ on my blog?? I’ll be emailing you with questions when I’m done with this trip to LA. Unless I’m put in jail for killing the 20 year olds in the room next to mine who are drunk, yelling, fetid pigs at 2am. If that happens? I’ll just email after I post bail.
mongoliangirls last blog post..Look! There’s lint on your shoe!
No, no, no! You can’t be a grinch! I don’t start being Christmas-y until the day after Thanksgiving either, but I don’t let Hobby Lobby’s pre-halloween Christmas aisle ruin my fun! You just have to make some new Aussie traditions. A great place to start is reading Wombat Divine by Mem Fox. It’s one of our favorite Christmas storybooks. Then just be your rebel self. Make Sand-men instead of snowmen and use kangaroos to pull Santa’s surf board. But don’t be a grinch, be an individual.
And thanks to you and the other sweet ones who left comments at my place yesterday, I’m not deleting JustJessie, I’m rethinking and paring down instead. Thanks for the award!
Jessica Ks last blog post..If I Only Had a Backbone
i dont believe they still have snow decorations, do they have robins too?
I love christmas- snow, ice, dark nights, log fires, hot drinks, mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm jumpers!
SSGs last blog post..Happy-Go-Lucky
Congrats on the award – you deserve it, as do, I’m sure, your picks to pass it on. I’ll have to go check them out soon.
I can’t imagine Christmas in 104 degree weather – that would more than take the starch out of it all, nevermind the heat stroke Santas – that’s just too abyssmal a visual. And here I was huffing over never having a white Christmas – pfft! I think you just topped me!
we_be_toyss last blog post..A Brief But Suggestive History of Cleo’s Parties
FWIW, Iowa received it’s first snow of the season last night…right about the time AFM was posting this entry. Coincidence?
This post has just reaffirmed for me why I picked you for an ‘I Heart Your Blog’ award — I too am a Grinch when it comes to Christmas and can’t stand how early it starts. And then to top it all off and make me practically swoon, you plugged Joni Mitchell, who happens to be my favourite artist. I knew I liked you for a reason…
noble savages last blog post..Blog love
One year for Christmas it was 80 degrees. We lit the fire anyway. It’s just what you do. These days I love going to Colorado to see my mom for Christmas. It just feels right.
Someone did ask me the other day if I was done with my Christmas shopping and I almost hit her. I don’t do that until December.
Must go check out those blogs now.
Oh, you make me blush! Thanks for the shout-out!
Christmas in Cali is similarly anti-climactic for me because of the lack of the “feel” of Christmas. And I started noticing Christmas stuff in stores before Halloween. I want to stage a protest! You shouldn’t start decorating for Christmas until after Thanksgiving, and you shouldn’t be shilling X-mas garbage before then either!
Aww. It’s like you gave me a cookie and then snatched it away just as I was about to take a bite.
I believe you overestimate my evilness, my friend. Surely you can direct some blame to Tim Tebow, right? I mean, I’ll assume a little responsibility for your glorious loss, but let’s give credit where credit’s due.
Still, I sort of thank you.
Thank God other people are Bah Humbug about Christmas as I am. Can’t stand the holiday. Always depressing and miserable. This year, I’m taking a long vacation from the holidays.
Andrews last blog post..Sounding like a broken record
We don’t do turkey etc. at our house for Christmas. We have a barbie, so sausages, hamburgers etc. Sometimes we even cook dim sims. And we have a huge cold ham, and I make my world famous potato salad. And everybody gets to add anything they like to our meal, so we often have random things like twisties and pink musk sticks and fairy bread and hommus. And then for dessert we have chocolate ripple cake and pavlova and lemon meringue pie. And we don’t do the big family get together thing – it’s usually just immediate family and maybe one or two close friends who prefer not to spend it with their own families. It’s always a wonderful day – I wouldn’t have Christmas any other way.
Agness last blog post..You can stand under my umbrella
Angel – I’m boycotting the whole thing. Dr. O’C’s Mum asked if I was taking Boy Z to the Christmas parade this weekend. No. To Santa’s cave? No. Wait, Santa’s cave?
Barbara – Goodonya!
Joe – You thought I was joking?
Nurse Myra – Another Aussie. Thanks.
Prefers – I like Misery Girl. Let’s call her that.
Ariza – I’m not saying I won’t go to the beach. In fact, I’m hoping to skip out on the whole Christmas Day thing and head somewhere quiet and sandy. Waitpinga maybe? Pageant, fuck off.
Mongol – It was all with love. I’d be happy to help with the Comment Luv thing. It’s dead easy, has to be if I’ve done it.
JK – We do like the Mem Fox books.
SSG – What do Robins have to do with Xmas?
We Be Toys – I grew up a bit further south of you so never really had white Christmases, but at least you know it’s winter.
Nathan – I miss snow.
NS – Thanks again. I will be listening to this album on heavy rotation between now and the New Year.
Gyspy – My Mom always insisted on a fire on Christmas Day no matter what kind of weather we were having in NoFla.
April – Yeah, I’m pretty sure this early start is to sell us more shite we don’t need.
Courtney – No, it was all you.
Andrew – I’ll be joining you!
Aw, I’m touched, even if it feels like sloppy seconds from Courtney. And I’m totally the evil one.
Have I told you about my plan to do away with Christmas and replace it with Thanksgiving II? I have now.
And I’ll be checking out some of my fellow awardees. Your descriptions are quite the sell.
mickeys last blog post..Moving right along, I swear
One of my favorite holidays has always been Thanksgiving, and it irks me to no end how many stores try to skip over it by going straight to Xmas.
Though I do have to say that I don’t have a problem with craft stores putting Xmas stuff out early. When people are busy MAKING their decorations, you actually do have to get started early.
I like the Swedish tradition of taking the tree down on Epiphany/Twelfth Night. It gives a nice ending to the holiday and rings January quite nicely.
And with little kids I just can’t be a grinch about any of it. I sure as hell am not going to be the parent that ruins Xmas for my kids. They are going to grow up to resent me for lots of reasons, but I am not ever going to be blamed for taking the joy out of their holidays.
Hey…I know it was all about lovin’ up the commie misery girl. No worries. And…commentluv better be easy. Seriously, I practically have to be threatened with loss of life before I’m willing to figure things like that out.
mongoliangirls last blog post..Look! There’s lint on your shoe!
I was told you wouldn’t appreciate my bulldog jokes. I say it’s more you wouldn’t understand them.
yellojkts last blog post..Uggh at Uga
Mickey – I’m down with the Thanksgiving plan. I love Thanksgiving and plan to replicate it down here. May have to modify the menu slightly. Anyone have any barbecued turkey recipes?
NATUI – One of the nicest Christmases I’ve had was in Sweden. All that fish. Yum!
Mongol – I’m pretty slow on the uptake on these techno things as well. I always ask Nichole (esmon.net) how to do it!
Yellojkt – Wow, clean old-fashioned hate is starting early this year! Prepare for a lesson in SEC football.
I thought they started xmas stuff this early in America– wtf?
I’m going to check out those blogs…
I really, really hate Christmas, but even I will admit to having some fun with it when my kid was a wee one (and in the south, too, where it may not be summer, but it can still pretty damn unseasonable!). Once she got old enough to get cynical about it, we just bypassed the whole nightmare for a bunch of years and it was wonderful.
We’re back to observing these days, though. [insert foreboding music here] The family has decided collectively that our house is the most convenient one for holiday gathering, so I’m back to putting up a tree and throwing lights on the house (as of last year). The upside is that I do love the cooking and meals, so at least there’s something to keep me busy until it’s all over.
No matter what, though, there is nothing worse than Christmas before Thanksgiving. And I’m perfectly willing to cut off my nose to spike my face, so if I find myself in a store that’s playing Christmas music before it’s appropriate, I’ll leave and do without until after the holidays.
alices last blog post..Weekend Musings
Damn! That´s worse than Xmas in AZ. Santa clause suits and reindeer make no sense in Arizona, but at least people are wearing sweatshirts and at night it´s a little cold. Oh, and a lot of people put Xmas lights on their cacti.
This year I´m going grinch too. Big time.
Bluestreaks last blog post..Warning
Christmas seems to start earlier and earlier every year. Personally I wish it was just kept in December but what can you do, Christmas is big business.
[...] After ranting about premature Christmas decorations and my general disdain for the holiday, I’ve been tasked with coming up with a personalized message for my company’s Christmas cards. This is, by far, the most difficult three or four sentences I’ve ever had to churn out. Any suggestions? [...]