Irony, heredity and serenity
I’ve literally got students coming out the wazoo today, so I’ll keep things short and simple…
After ranting about premature Christmas decorations and my general disdain for the holiday, I’ve been tasked with coming up with a personalized message for my company’s Christmas cards. This is, by far, the most difficult three or four sentences I’ve ever had to churn out. Any suggestions?
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I’m pleased to be the host for Mendel’s Garden #26. Mendel’s Garden, the genetics blog carnival, is looking for the best genetics posts in the blogosphere. I’m hosting the December edition and am actively looking for submissions. Everything from transcription to evolution to genetic counseling and social implications of genetics research are welcome. I’m particularly interested in non-specialists, so if you’ve got something that you could tag with “genetics” send it my way. If you’d be interested in having a post featured, please e-mail me your latest and greatest to chris (at) afreeman (dot) org.
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Finally, when things have gotten harried this week, I’ve turned to this video for a dose of serenity. The internets are awash with cute kid videos, but I have the cutest kid (and possibly the most patient dog) around.
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I’d never heard of The Bouncing Souls until this track came my way, but I can’t stop listening to it. They’ve been around for ages and I’m thinking of checking out more of the New Jersey quartet’s music. Buy the self-titled record that featured “Serenity” and other records here.
Podcast Video: Play Now | Play in Popup | Download
The Bouncing Souls - "Serenity" [2:28m]: Play Now | Play in Popup | DownloadPopularity: 60% [?]
I did a holiday card for my old company a few years back. It was holiday rather than Christmas, also encompassing New Year’s. I will remember it because I wrote about three hundred cards. Some sentence about business like thank you for your patronage, thanks for being an integral part of… valued partner… and the holiday part was, Happy holidays and we hope the New Year brings you a wealth of health, happiness and all that you dream of. Clients loved it, probably because we sent them all cool desk size bubble gum machines.
Chriss last blog post..Different Branches of the Same Tree
13 Nov 2008 at 12:28 pm
“Dear valued client and/or source of income,
Christmas is a time for caring, sharing, and, of course, more caring. Why? Because Jesus would have done it for you, that’s why, and we thank you in advance for not peppering us with questions this grand holiday season.
For you, and you specifically, we wish all the best for you, both including the day of Christmas itself, and all the days following, at least up until the New Year, at which point, as you well know, all bets are off.
Stay safe, stay happy, and, for god’s sake, stay out of the eggnog this year; we all heard about your Christmas party last year, and, to be perfectly frank, we’ve retained legal counsel this year should the Baby Jesus from our office display once again find himself stuffed into the ass of one of your reindeer.
Sincerely, and with the best lawyers in the business on speed-dial,
[company name here]”
Ryans last blog post..
13 Nov 2008 at 1:25 pm
If you remember this post, your comment on genetics makes it a good, simple image for your Garden.
And I think I even emailed you about it before posting?
http://notafraidtouseit.blogspot.com/2008/07/ww-those-eyes.html
NATUIs last blog post..Somebody’s Grampa, Somebody’s Son
13 Nov 2008 at 2:26 pm
And didn’t you know that dog spit on grapes is like salad dressing–a little bit salt, a little bit sweet, and lots of protein. Builds immunity, it does.
NATUIs last blog post..Somebody’s Grampa, Somebody’s Son
13 Nov 2008 at 2:30 pm
I vote for mention pagans and the winter solstice in your holiday card, but that’s just me.
Well, I was in a semi- bad mood but Zack and Timmins cured that right up. Awesome video!
13 Nov 2008 at 5:57 pm
wee Z is just totally cute. what is he eating/drinking? will write you a genetics post… just choosing what to rant about. For the xmas card “Merry Christmas and festive greetings from all at XXXX, here’s wishing you a happy and healthy new year” you could always add “G’day” or “Goodonya” or somthing if you liked. I liked the Oz accent when i was there, but the “Goodonya” reminds me of I guy I worked with in social services who was a complete moron. And the phrase “Growing your kids” that reminds me of him to. He meant bringing up your children. Mentalist.
SSGs last blog post..Alba, tha gaol agam ort
13 Nov 2008 at 6:09 pm
How deliciously ironic. They have given Scrooge the job of wishing everyone ‘good cheer’.
You could always paraphrase something from the classics.
“I will honour Christmas in my heart, and try to keep it all the year. I will live in the Past, the Present, and the Future. The Spirits of all Three shall strive within me. I will not shut out the lessons that they teach.”
…aaaaaand finish with
“Have a happy holiday.”
or not. whatever.
arizaphales last blog post..The Vines Part II
13 Nov 2008 at 10:30 pm
Oh and PS….I LOVE his little legs kicking with excitement there……..
arizaphales last blog post..The Vines Part II
13 Nov 2008 at 10:35 pm
I like Ryan’s and I’m using a variation on this years family Christmas card.
14 Nov 2008 at 2:20 am
HAHAHA! I cannot believe they asked you to write the Christmas card. Either they are clueless, or you are the best b.s.-er in the biz.
I love, love, love the video of Z. He was so excited it made me giggle just to watch! It’s a good thing you don’t have a bulldog puppy yet. There would have been a lot more slobber involved, and more nibbling on the hands than the grapes themselves.
Jessica Ks last blog post..Mad for Science!
14 Nov 2008 at 2:29 am
LITERALLY coming out the wazoo? What, pray tell, is a wazoo?
Anything written by me in relation to genetics would be embarrassingly amateurish, so I’ll refrain from that. But I will think on the company Christmas card thing and get back to you.
14 Nov 2008 at 2:30 am
I had to come up with the stuff for the Christmas cards for a company I worked for 10 years ago. It took way more time than it was worth, and I don’t even remember what I said. What I DO remember is the boss coming in at the end, and signing them all with “Merry F@%#ing Christmas.” (Only he didn’t use those wacky little symbols.)
Ginnys last blog post..Taxonomy
14 Nov 2008 at 2:30 am
I’m not even particularly a Scrooge, but having to come up with a Season’s Greetings that encompasses an entire company makes my mind go completely blank. Uh…!
Ryan’s idea gets my vote!
we_be_toyss last blog post..A Picture Takes The Place of Words
14 Nov 2008 at 3:32 am
yeah, what’s a wazoo?
14 Nov 2008 at 7:03 am
Chris - Unfortunately they haven’t bought any gifts to send AND they bought the cheap cards. SO the text has got to be good!
Ryan - You’re my hero.
NATUI - Maybe we could market dog spit as a nutritional supplement.
Heza - That was another issue. Do I say “Christmas” or “Holiday Season” or “Winter Wicca Wullaballoo”. It’s not easy, I tell you.
SSG - Goodonya.
Ariza - I am NOT suggesting that we keep the Christmas spirit all year.
Chris - Me too.
JK - They’re clueless. Although I have that job because they’re clueless, so I’m not complaining. If we can market dog spit as a nutritional supplement, Dooley will be very valuable.
Courtney - I’ll give you three guesses.
Ginny - Nice boss. It’s ridiculous. I churn out text every day for these guys and this stumped me for ages.
We Be Toys - In three or four sentences. Sigh…
14 Nov 2008 at 7:12 am
Karma, Grinch….karma.
Agness last blog post..And so it was that later as the miller told his tale
14 Nov 2008 at 4:01 pm
If I knew what kind of company it was I could better help, because I do love writing jingles.
How about the old:
Deck the hall with gasoline
Fa lalalala la la la la
Light a match and watch it clean.
Fa lalalala la la la la
Watch the _______ burn to ashes,
Fa la la, la la la lalalala
Now aren’t you glad you play with matches,
Fa la la la la lalalalalala.
It’s always a classic, right?
Florida Girl In Sydneys last blog post..Dolly Parton Does Australia
15 Nov 2008 at 12:51 pm
Agnes - I know.
FGIS - That’s pretty good, will make everyone reminiscent for grade school!
17 Nov 2008 at 6:52 am