I doubt that anyone who knows anything about college football would have predicted that this years manifestation of The Deep South’s Oldest Rivalry would be relegated to an early start on regional television. When Georgia and Auburn square up in mid-November, as they have for virtually every year since 1898, it’s typically a clash of titans. It often has implications for the SEC Championship and even the National Championship. 

This year, it is a speed bump in the college football season. But it’s still the Deep South’s Oldest Rivalry. It’s still a game full of tradition and pride. And it’s still a game that Georgia needs to win. 

I’ve got a very special guest poster for you guys today. Ladies and Gentlemen, the man with the loosest hips east of the Mississippi, the pompadour that makes the ladies swoon, the King of the Alabama plains -  Auburn Elvis!

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As rivalries go, I think the Deep South’s Oldest is also one of the most congenial. Both teams have a similar “feel” to their history. Georgia has Dooley, Hershel, and Uga, while we have Dye, Bo, and War Eagle. There’s a mutual respect for each that makes rival fans easier to get along with the rest of the year. So, most smack talk between the two is more akin to rowdy brothers than angry next-door neighbors.

Rest assured, my lack of in-your-face chest thumping is a reflection of the good southern manners practiced here on the plains and has nothing to do with our embarrassing performances on the field this season.  But this is the time for “smack talk”, so I’ll offer what I hope will happen along with a prediction of what I expect to happen.

I HOPE Auburn’s lines will stage a reenactment of the “funeral game”, pushing the Dawgs around like a 9-year-old school girl. I EXPECT we’ll look really good between the 30’s but be attempting a lot of field goals after breaking down in the red zone.

I HOPE Auburn will pitch a tent in Georgia’s backfield, forcing Stafford to throw early and often. I EXPECT Moreno to break a few long runs off some shoddy Auburn arm-tackles.

I HOPE Auburn will manage the late-game clock with Swiss-like precision. I EXPECT our fourth quarter options to be determined more by Georgia’s ability to move the ball than our own.

I HOPE Auburn wins the game, and gains newfound energy and hunger going into the all-important Iron Bowl. I EXPECT Auburn to falter quite a bit, only staying in the game by virtue of some sloppy Georgia play.
Of late, wins in this series have come in pairs. And with Georgia winning the previous two, I have to stay with tradition and pick the Tigers… by four (which, given Auburn’s offense, is a likely score of 6 to 2).

Thankyouverymuch and War Eagle baby!

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And in response, your underwhelming narrator:

These smack talk posts get harder every week. After the dismantling in Jacksonville and a last second win in Louisville (or Lexington?), it is hard to drum up the hubris required to verbally cudgel your opponent. At the bottom of everything, I think that this games is a matchup between a good team playing badly and bad team playing badly.  In theory the former should win. Woo hoo, Go Dawgs!

How’s that? Not really as “smacky” as you’ve come to expect here at A Free Man? I’m trying to veer away from the hubris, as that hasn’t worked particularly well this year. In addition, I actually like Auburn. As The King noted, we’re similar schools, similar programs and there just isn’t a lot of animosity. They have a horrible choice of team colors and one of the most mystifying cheers in the country (War Eagle? Huh?), but Auburn folks, unlike some others in the SEC (I’m talking to you Gators, Vols and Cocks) are a pretty decent lot. Hell, I even like old Tubby, the Auburn coach. He’s a classy guy, a gentleman among Spurriers and Meyers.

But mostly, I’m really nervous about this game. The Tigers have an absolutely wretched offense, 105th in scoring offense among the 119 teams. Unfortunately, the sure cure for a bad offense is a date with the Georgia Bulldogs defense. I’m worried that the team is coming apart at the seams, I’m worried that we’re going to head down to the plains and get smacked around. The Tigers are playing for their post-season – if they don’t beat us (or ‘Bama) they will be home in December and January for the first time since 1999. Georgia hasn’t won three in a row in this series since 1980-82. After the mistake laden performance in wherever the hell the University of Kentucky plays I have a horrible niggling feeling in my extremities that we are ripe to be the victim of an upset.

I do think we’ll win but as much as I’d like to see a repeat of the beat down we gave them in Athens last year, I have a bad feeling that this will be a close and fairly pitiful affair.

I have completely failed to bring the smack, so I’ll leave it up to the boys to bring it. We need to go over to Auburn and put a stomping on the Plainsmen. I’d like to see this…

…but fear that the team just isn’t in that place this year.

Nonetheless, we’ve got a game to win. Let’s just do it.

Go Dawgs! Sic ‘em!

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Georgia at Auburn kicks off at 12:30 Eastern (4:00 a.m. Adelaide) on Raycom. It’s available online and even though I don’t have the chops to talk smack, I’ll be up early watching. That’s what real fans do.

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The Broken Family Band used to be the best alt-country act in the British Isles. They’re still around but less country these days than alt. Check out A Free Man’s interview with the band’s frontman Steven Adams. If you like what you hear, support blogger friendly artists by buying Broken Family Band records here.

 
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