A Free Man

Well, gentle readers, you’ve been incredibly tolerant of my college football obsession this season and for that I’m grateful. Many of you will be happy to hear that this weekend marks the end of the regular season and thus, the end of Deep South Smack Talk. But we’re going out with a bang - it’s Clean, Old-Fashioned Hate week, the annual stomping of Atlanta’s North Avenue Trade School by their betters to the east in Athens.

Speaking for the Nerd Herd this week, I have one of my favorite bloggers. Courtney can flat out write, but she has questionable allegiances when it comes to college football.

Greetings and happy post-Thanksgiving, readers of A Free Man. Courtney here, proprietor of Malfeasance and die-hard Georgia Tech fan, born and bred. As such, it’s in my blood to believe the University (sic) of Georgia is nothing less than the gaping maw of hell, and all those who enter it are illiterate hillbillies who don’t know how to properly spell the word “dog.” No doubt you all think A Free Man is quite the thoughtful and intelligent blogger, and I agree with you a vast majority of the time. But on those 11 to 12 Saturdays a year when he cheers on his pathetic alma mater? Illiterate hillbilly.

As rivalries go, the GT/U(sic)GA one is rather lopsided. Ask your average Georgia fan who he or she considers to be the school’s biggest rival, and no doubt that person will answer Florida or Tennessee (not this year) or possibly Alabama. Georgia Tech may be its in-state rivalry, but let’s be honest — Tech hasn’t been much of a threat for the past few years. If memory serves me correctly, Tech has lost this game for the past six years straight.* It has effectively ruined the past six Thanksgivings for me. And when U(sic)GA was seeded #1 at the beginning of this season, it looked like the Yellow Jackets’ hopes would all but certainly be dashed again this year.

But they won’t. Not this year. Georgia Tech is going to beat the wrinkles right out of that smush-faced dog’s jaws on Saturday, and if you’re doubtful, I’ll now outline a five-point plan to convince you of the Jackets’ superiority.

1. The losses of the past six years all came under the leadership of Chan Gailey. Gailey was fired last year, and new coach Paul Johnson has whipped the Jackets into shape this year. The Curse of Gailey is gone, and in its place is the Age of Bulldog-Stomping.

2. Tech beat No. 23 Miami last week. And looked damn good doing it, if I do say so myself. If we can beat Miami, we can beat Georgia.

3.  Three words: Triple option offense. Call it old-school if you must, but it’s been working for Tech this year. Seventh in the nation in rushing yards per game, people. If U(sic)GA’s defense wants to stand a chance against it, they’d better wake up and quit daydreaming about the turkey their sister-cousin made in the double-wide yesterday.

4. Georgia is crazy overrated. And unholy. Just sayin’.

5.  Barack Obama. That guy successfully based his campaign on change, and damn if this isn’t a change I can believe in. Make it happen, Mr. President-Elect.

I think this should effectively seal the deal: Jackets rule, Bulldogs drool. In a big way. Seriously, it’s disgusting.

My prediction: Georgia Tech 42, University (sic) of Georgia 21.

“Oh, if I had a daughter, sir, I’d dress her in white and gold And put her on the campus to cheer the brave and bold. But if I had a son, sir, I’d tell you what he’d do: He would yell, ‘TO HELL WITH GEORGIA’ like his daddy used to do!”

GO JACKETS!

And in response, you underwhelming correspondent…

For most of my time at the University of Georgia, I didn’t really get the Georgia-Georgia Tech rivalry. Not being a Georgia native, I didn’t have the historical perspective, the years of intra-state feuding that . The Florida Gators were, and still are, my natural enemy. But that all changed on Thanksgiving weekend 1998. I had to be back for classes on Monday and started the long drive to Athens from north Florida about midway through the game. I figured it was pretty safe, I mean we had beaten the Gnats seven years in a row, how likely was it that they would pull something out this year? I listened to the game on the radio as I drove back towards school on I-75.

Well, that game didn’t go as planned, the Techies won on a last second Brad Chambers field goal that was set up under extremely dodgy circumstances. Circumstances that made me so apoplectic that I had to pull off at one of the free orange juice stands that litter south Georgia lest I crash into the median. Of course, we’ve since learned that Tech coach George O’Leary was using ineligible players that year. That about sums up Tech, the only way they beat us is by cheating.

Since that Thanksgiving I’ve developed a healthy loathing of the ‘Dawgs in state rival. It’s true that Tech is probably the best trade school south of the Carolinas, but that only goes so far. Have you ever been unfortunate enough to be seated next to a computer engineer at a dinner party? You probably don’t remember because you drank yourself into oblivion to try to assuage the boredom. The University of Georgia offers her students a well rounded educational opportunity, preparing alumni for not only their careers but for a full and joyful life. A UGA graduate is the complete package - intelligent, interesting, and damn fine looking examples of humanity. These, my friends, are the advantage of a liberal arts education.

But back to the task at hand - the game. We’re in a similar place this year as we were back in ‘98. Georgia has again won seven in a row against the Gnats. The Nerd Herd has put together a cute little season and is ranked in the Top 25. But the difference this year is that the ACC is battling with the Sun Belt for the honor of worst conference in Division I college football. So, a 4-4 record in ACC play is kind of a dubious honor. Yes, the Techies put a hurting on Miami, which may have been impressive if it was 2001. The Dawgs on the other hand have put together a 9-2 season in the toughest conference in college football, with losses coming to two potential National Championship contenders. And, the game is on our turf and we don’t let the Techies win between the hedges.

Let me just break this game down plain and simple. I know that Techies deal with numbers better than words, so here’s a seven point response to Courtney’s five point plan:

1. 2001 - Georgia 31, Georgia Tech 17
2. 2002 - Georgia 51, Georgia Tech 7
3. 2003 - Georgia 34, Georgia Tech 17
4. 2004 - Georgia 19, Georgia Tech 13
5. 2005 - Georgia 14, Georgia Tech 7
6. 2006 - Georgia 15, Georgia Tech 12
7. 2007 - Georgia 31, Georgia Tech 17

Shall we go for #8? I’m fairly certain that is what is going to happen between the hedges on Saturday. Bring on the yellow bellied whipping boys.

Oh, and Courtney, Barack Obama is a ‘Dawg fan.

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Georgia Tech at Georgia kicks off at 12:00 Eastern (3:30 a.m. Sunday in Adelaide) on CBS. Expat fans can watch the game online by using a loophole to get around CBS’ U.S. only regulations. Send me an e-mail (chris[at]afreeman[dot]org) if you want to know how. A Free Family is going away for the weekend, so chances are I won’t have a chance to watch this one, but I’m pretty sure that everyone except a few delusional math majors on North Avenue know what is going to happen.

Green Day’s 1997 record “Nimrod” is available from .

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* It’s actually seven years in a row, Courtney.

 

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