Craig Finn is an Everyman’s rock hero. He’s living proof that you don’t have to look like Jon Bon Jovi or Michael Hutchence to be a rock star. Finn, who leads Brooklyn’s The Hold Steady, could pass as an engineering graduate student anywhere in the world but he leads one of the most blistering rock bands on the scene right now. They released their fourth LP, “Stay Positive” (Vagrant) in July of this year to a fair amount of critical acclaim and a surprising amount of commercial success.
They are shamelessly derivative but in an era in which nothing is truly original, Finn’s band turns creativity on it’s ear by trying (and often succeeding) to do Springsteen better than The Boss ever did. It’s old school American rock and roll and Finn is a lyrical genius, painting a sonic picture of inner city America in the 21st century. His songs are populated with skaters, druggies, hood rats and he tells their stories with an uncommonly sharp poetic voice. “Stay Positive” is a summer record, a driving record, an onslaught of speeding guitars and frantic lyrics. And that, my friends, is a great thing.
I had incredibly high expectations for this album. I fell in love with The Hold Steady a couple of years ago with the opening lines of “Boys and Girls in America”:
There are nights when I think Sal Paradise was right.
Boys and Girls in America have such a sad time together.
Sucking off each other at the demonstrations
Making sure their makeup’s straight
Crushing one another with colossal expectations.
Dependent, undisciplined, and sleeping late.
And I was a little bit disappointed by this record. Maybe Finn’s narrative is wearing a little thin or maybe the Springsteen influenced sound has lost a little of its lustre for me, but this album wasn’t what I had hoped. The Hold Steady may have hit their peak with the last record or this may be a temporary glitch. Don’t get me wrong, it’s still a great album – tenth best of the year in fact – but if you’re not already a fan then don’t start with this one. Pick up “Separation Sunday” or “Boys and Girls in America” and hear a great rock band in their prime.
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Now for the important bit – the first contest of the month. I have copies of two of my Honorable Mention albums that I’m going to give away to a lucky and irreverently creative reader. I asked Dr. O’C for an idea for this one, so it’s her fault. I would like you guys to come up with your best anti-Christmas limerick and leave it as a comment on this post. Let’s set the deadline for a week from today – December 14. Bonus points for . Dr. O’C will pick the lucky winner next Monday who will receive The Pharmacy’s “Choose Yr Own Adventure” and Super XX Man’s “Volume XII: There’ll Be Diamonds” and potentially a bit of Oz schwag – maybe a kangaroo scrotum change purse or something. The racier and more irreverent the better. Good luck!
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by boyhowdy
07 Dec 2008 at 17:26
Okay, I’ll bite:
Twas nocturne, and all through the house
No one stirred, not a child, not a mouse
And we huddled in fear
Knowing Santa was near
And he knew we’d been naughty, the louse!
by admin
07 Dec 2008 at 17:48
Boyhowdy, throwing down the gauntlet early!
by Rol
07 Dec 2008 at 20:24
While I wouldn’t quite agree they ever did Springsteen better than The Boss himself, it’s another great album from The HS, and bound to end up in my Top Ten too.
Christmas sucks…
Sorry, I never could write limericks.
by Noble Savage
07 Dec 2008 at 20:34
Ooh, I love a good limerick! I couldn’t resist doing a few. Is more than one entry allowed?
Like good lil’ consumers the children obsess
Over the mountains of crap they wish to possess
The parents, they save
But to credit they’re slave
The economy, it’s a real mess
OR
Uncle Bob hung the mistletoe with care
Over my bed when he knew I’d be there
The lecherous man
I chopped off his hands
And now he’s only able to stare
OR
Mary, Joseph, wisemen, mules
Do they really think we’re fools?
There is no God
Even Santa’s a fraud
Screw Christmas, atheism rules!
by The Unbearable Banishment
08 Dec 2008 at 00:29
That’s a GREAT lyric! And they’re in Brooklyn? Geeze. I need to get my head out of the bog a have a look around.
by admin
08 Dec 2008 at 08:28
Rol – Yeah, may have overstated it a bit.
NS – Those are great! No limit on the number of entries. You should know that the judge enjoyed yours.
TUB – Yeah, definitely check them out. I like “Your Little Hoodrat Friend” as well:
“Your little hoodrat friend’s been calling me again
And I can’t stand all the things that she sticks into her skin
Like sharpened ballpoint pens and steel guitar strings
She says it hurts, but it’s worth it
Tiny little text etched into her neck it said
“Jesus lived and died for all your sins”
She’s got blue black ink and it’s scratched into her lower back
It said “damn right I’ll rise again”…
by arizaphale
08 Dec 2008 at 08:33
I refuse to write an anti-Christmas limerick on principle
although I will direct you, once more, to my hero Tom Lehrer. Not as a contest entry of course, just because.
I am quite taken by The Hold Steady which brings me to a question. Yesterday we went to see a band called ‘Let It Roll’ and Himself (with his marketing hat on) decided it was a crap name for a band because it is a clause rather than a noun. He suggested they should change it to ‘The Let It Roll Band’ or The Rollers (too much like Bay City said I)…anyway, I notice The Hold Steady have done just this. I don’t like it. I disagree with Himself but I am unable to think of any successful band which does not have a noun for a name. Anyone help me out here?
by admin
08 Dec 2008 at 08:38
Well, Arizaphale, that’s fine. But your principles are going to keep you from winning, then!
by arizaphale
08 Dec 2008 at 10:13
OK. This isn’t an entry but I can’t resist a limerick.
When planning your Christmas affaire
If you offer The Free Man a chair
Know, his tedious whinge
On our annual binge
Will dispel all goodwill, so beware!!
by admin
08 Dec 2008 at 10:23
Ariza – You know that Dr. O’C is totally going to pick that one.
by father muskrat
08 Dec 2008 at 11:39
There once was a fat ass named Santa
Who belonged in the gullet of Bantha
But instead he’s a god
With a disgusting bod
Who’s prayed to all over Atlanta.
by admin
08 Dec 2008 at 11:52
Now that’s a good one, Muskrat. Bringing the Star Wars references!
by heather
08 Dec 2008 at 15:14
So you bought the kids some more junk
And now you’re gonna get drunk
Try not to fall down
While Gramma’s around
Or your Christmas secret is sunk.
by Agnes
08 Dec 2008 at 16:45
Oh I do so love presents from Gran
Dog shampoo, fishnet stockings, fake tan
But the best gift of all
Be he off work or on call
Is when Grandma go buys you a man
Not feeling too inspired! Best I could do…
Feeling kinda ashamed of myself actually. And slightly unclean.
And the dog shampoo bit is true actually. Each year she wraps up all these lovely things she’s bought at the $2 shop and does a lucky dip thing. Ain’t nothing lucky about it!
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by Sucking and blowing | A Free Man
08 Dec 2008 at 19:00
[...] counts. Speaking of winning, just a reminder about the limerick contest that I announced yesterday. Give me your best anti-Christmas limerick for a chance to win a couple of CDs as well as some tacky Aussie miscellany. It’s the first [...]
by runsdeep
08 Dec 2008 at 22:47
There once was a free expat yank
Who reckoned that Chrimbo was wank
Consumerist heathen!
Nowt under your tree then!
Just be glad there’s more in yer bank.
by SSG
09 Dec 2008 at 02:53
Awh all these entries are good. Was writing one where I rhymed “afreeman” with “islam” but didnt think it was in the festive spirit.
Here are my entires (all that I could be bothered at work. Others are more funny. bitches!)
Merry Christmas, Joeyeuse fete and Noel
Felis navidad, happy hanukah and all that aswell
But if you’re afreeman
then the holidays you would ban
and go hibernate in a shell
There once was a boy from the states
that with Christmas, he did equate
work,hassle and stress
without fun no less
and everyone just being irate
You’ll find him hiding away
from all events of Christmas day
A freeman will go
“there’s just no snow,
and sand just doesnt work with a sleigh”
“I hate all this stuff for Noel,
tinsel, presents and mistletoe as well;
I wish Easter was here
or at least Chinese New Year
and don’t get me started on Emmanuel
this season is my idea of hell”
by SSG
09 Dec 2008 at 02:55
awh I forgot I put the hidden HTML tags round my “or alternative ending” sentence. Now it looks shit.
by tysdaddy
09 Dec 2008 at 04:25
Here sits an old dude from The Fort
“‘Tis Christmas!” they say. “Be a sport!”
“Bah to that,” he exclaims.
“Naught but folly and games!”
So they hung on his door St. John’s Wort.
[wow. that sucked . . . ]
by arizaphale
09 Dec 2008 at 07:39
My, my, I seem to have started a theme. Perhaps you should have two categories?
Hmmm so many good ones to choose from!!!
by Chris
09 Dec 2008 at 07:46
There once was a lass named Sinead
Who moved with her man to Adelaide
They bought them a car
But their Z barfed up hard
Now they silently pine for a sleigh
by admin
09 Dec 2008 at 10:01
Heather – That limerick sounds like my Xmases from 16 to about 25.
Agnes – What about the fake tan? Nice one!
Runsdeep – That was a perfect reflection of your personality, I reckon.
SSG – I would like to see the one rhyming A Free Man with Islam.
Tysdaddy – Bonus points for the botanical theme.
Chris – Now you’ve got the idea – invoke Dr. O’C. Sucking up to the judge, good thinking!
These are great, guys. Dr. O’C’s going to have a tough job!
by arizaphale
09 Dec 2008 at 22:02
It seems (as per SSG) that multiple entries are allowed and so, as I really CAN’T resist a limerick…
Christmas in Adelaide sucks
The retailers inhale your bucks
And you might as well know
That it’s too hot to snow
And the ‘chests’ that are roasting ain’t ‘nuts’!
(Chestnuts roasting on an open fire….get it? huh? huh?)
If it’s limericks that you require
Stand back! On all cylinders I fire
I pump them out quick
But, did I miss a trick?
Was it QUALITY that you required?
by arizaphale
09 Dec 2008 at 22:04
oops, that last line was meant to end with ‘desired’…I used to hate it when Edward Lear ended with the same line he started with, seemed like such a cop out…
by Agnes
09 Dec 2008 at 22:27
I get it Ariza, and I appreciated it!
And no fake tan for me. Ever. I have red hair and very pale skin. Can’t apply the stuff properly, and both times I tried it turned out streaky and orange and I looked bloody awful.
I see many girls doing the fake tan thing badly and I reckon it’s better to look pale and sickly than to look like a melted plastic Barbie doll.
And that’s all I have to say about that!
by SSG
10 Dec 2008 at 01:42
nice work Arizaphale!
by admin
10 Dec 2008 at 11:54
Ariza – I thought you were boycotting the anti-Christmas limerick contest?
Agnes – God, fake tan was huge in Britain. I mean it’s clearly fake no matter what, but when you live in a place that never gets sun and your skin is orange, it’s just a bit obvious you know?
by Agnes
10 Dec 2008 at 15:27
I know! Apparently obvious is the new black.
by arizaphale
10 Dec 2008 at 15:46
I remember the early days of fake tan, you used to be able to take tablets!!! Still orange but at least it was ‘even’.
Probably carcinogenic though.
I gave up on fake tan years ago. Sounds like Agnes and I have a lot in common there.
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by A Free Man’s Top 10 of 2008: No. 8 - Sun Kil Moon - “April” | A Free Man
11 Dec 2008 at 15:14
[...] 10. The Hold Steady – “Stay Positive” 9. The Black Angels – “Directions To See A Ghost” [...]
by mongoliangirl
12 Dec 2008 at 03:07
#1
Santa now says, ‘Jesus is the way,’
Made the elves stop working to pray.
Now reindeer are stalled
with our Ass who says, ‘Fuck it all,’
And our horses are nervous all day.
#2
Obama was elected this year
after getting many a cheer
Looks like right wing pariahs
have to deal with the black messiah
even if all they can do is leer
by admin
12 Dec 2008 at 09:59
Mongola – Watch out or Arizaphale will bollock you for not having the right number of syllables.
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by A Free Man’s Top 10 of 2008: No. 7 - Frank Turner - “Love, Ire & Song” and MORE CONTESTS | A Free Man
13 Dec 2008 at 22:34
[...] 10. The Hold Steady – “Stay Positive” 9. The Black Angels – “Directions To See A Ghost” 8. Sun Kil Moon – “April” Well I guess I should confess that I am starting to get old. All the latest music fads all passed me by and left me cold. All the kids are talking slang I won’t pretend to understand. [...]
by carrie
14 Dec 2008 at 11:06
i had a great time reading all of these comments. I’d love to write an irreverent xmas limerick. I’ll give it some thought & get back to you.
by carrie
14 Dec 2008 at 17:13
ok. My attempt at limerickey: tho just more like a poem & perhaps a bit TOO sardonic-
But here goes . . .
T’is the season called ‘Yule’
It makes merchandisers drool,
But to families, it’s all about Love.
Tho, dear shoppers- Beware!
For if push comes to shove
It’s your life that’s at stake.
Greedy thugs.
-supposed to reference that trampelling death at a pre-xmas sale.
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by Sharks and vampires and sixes, oh my | A Free Man
16 Dec 2008 at 21:17
[...] 10. The Hold Steady – “Stay Positive” 9. The Black Angels – “Directions To See A Ghost” 8. Sun Kil Moon – “April” 7. Frank Turner – “Love, Ire & Song” [...]
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by A Free Man’s Top 10 of 2008: No. 4 - Frightened Rabbit - “Midnight Organ Flight” and THE GRAND PRIZE! | A Free Man
22 Dec 2008 at 13:06
[...] 10. The Hold Steady – “Stay Positive” 9. The Black Angels – “Directions To See A Ghost” 8. Sun Kil Moon – “April” 7. Frank Turner – “Love, Ire & Song” 6. Vampire Weekend – “Vampire Weekend” 5. Jon and Roy – “Another Noon” [...]
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by Laying round in bed on a Saturday morning | A Free Man
31 Dec 2008 at 13:03
[...] 10. The Hold Steady – “Stay Positive” 9. The Black Angels – “Directions To See A Ghost” 8. Sun Kil Moon – “April” 7. Frank Turner – “Love, Ire & Song” 6. Vampire Weekend – “Vampire Weekend” 5. Jon and Roy – “Another Noon” 4. Frightened Rabbit – “Midnight Organ Fight” 3. Okkervil River – “The Stand-Ins” [...]