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OK, three important Christmas contest things:
1. Dr. O’C spent the weekend wading through limericks and has come up with a winner. Now I want to point out that the limericks were given to her without names attached, so there was no favoritism involved. I say this because the results are slightly dodgy. The winning Anti-Christmas Movement Limerick is:
You’ll find him hiding away
From all events of Christmas Day
A Free Man will go
“There is just no snow
And sand doesn’t work with a sleigh.”
Well, there’s no accounting for taste. That little diddy was penned by the Strange Scottish Girl who, suspiciously, has already won a contest this Christmas season. I looked hard for indications of bribery, coercion or other fraudulent behavior but it looks above board to me. So, congrats to the Strange Scottish Girl.
2. Good news for those of you who aren’t strange, Scottish or female – there are still lots of chances for you to win some musical prizes this month. Just a reminder about the Tagline Contest, the winner of which will receive a Santa’s bag sized delivery of hot new CDs. Leave your choice for a new tagline for this site as a comment on this post.
3. To help clear my site from accusations of favoritism, I need your help to find another limerick writing winner. I’ve picked my five favorite limericks from those remaining:
First we have The Noble Savage’s ode to pervy relatives…
Uncle Bob hung the mistletoe with care
Over my bed when he knew I’d be there
The lecherous man
I chopped off his hands
And now he’s only able to stare.
Heather from The Ghost of a Smile weaves a tangled web of booze and deception…
So you bought the kids some more junk
And now you’re gonna get drunk
Try not to fall down
While Gramma’s around
Or your Christmas secret is sunk.
Oxford Old Boy Runs Deep shows us what one can do with an Oxbridge education…
The once was a free expat Yank
Who reckoned that Chrimbo was wank
Consumerist heathen!
Nowt under your tree then!
Just be glad there’s more in yer bank.
Formerly Fun’s Chris tells my own story better than I could…
There once was a lass named Sinead
Who moved with her man to Adelaide
They bought them a car
But their Z barfed up hard
Now they silently pine for a sleigh.
And finally, Arizaphale paints a pretty picture of Xmas Down Under…
Christmas in Adelaide sucks
The retailers inhale your bucks
And you might as well know
That it’s too hot for snow
And the ‘chests’ that are roasting ain’t ‘nuts’!
Now let’s clean up contests here at A Free Man. I’m calling for the democratic process to be reinstated. Vote for your favorite below and the author of the limerick with the most votes as of Monday next (the 22nd) wins the other half of the Fanatic schwag.
Popularity: 53% [?]
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Hey–can I get a prize for being the first to vote???
I can’t believe my limerick referencing Bantha didn’t win. Pouting.
Oh wait, Santa will see me pouting. That’s supposed to be a bad thing.
Man I can’t believe I won with my piece of crap, thanks Dr O’c!!!!!
The above 5 are so much more crafted than mine so i hope they win a well deserved prize. Man I’m stoked.
Oh and please ignore any entries of mine into further competitions. I am just doing it for the *fun*.
Ok, PEACE!
SSg
Sorry Dr O’C but I thought the ssg did at least two better verses than that one! However, I am stoked to see an entry of mine here! Does this mean I can’t vote?
HIF – I’ve got another contest to come, so you still have a chance!
Muskrat – I know, I know. I liked the Star Wars thing, but what can I tell you. I’ll see if I can’t come up with a little something special for you.
Ariza – As I said, there’s no accounting for taste. Of course you can vote. If you don’t vote for yourself, who will?
I totally voted for myself. Maybe I should write a limerick about narcissism now.
NS – Do it.
OK, now we really do have some Florida style politics going on. Arizaphale has called out her troops to come and vote for her. Not against the letter of the law, but I’m not sure about the spirit of the law. Controversial.
Plus, some of her troops are from Illinois. We’re giving Florida a race for the title…
[...] some because they are interesting and thought provoking. (Others also do well because they give me prizes, [...]
[...] And that just leaves your daily reminder about the December giveaways here at A Free Man. I’ve got a metric ton of great new music to give away and two contests currently running. There are a lot of good entries for the Tagline Contest, but none that I’m completely sold on yet – so there’s a window of opportunity to win some free music. All I need from you, gentle readers is a new pithy tagline for A Free Man. Leave your inspired creation as a comment on this post. The Noble Savage is ahead in the limerick contest by a nose, but there’s a lot of time left. Head on over and vote for your favorite. [...]
[...] a late run, it looks as if Arizaphale has successfully used her questionable tactics to win the limerick contest. You’ve still got one more day to give me your best shot at a new [...]