I’m stacked all up against deadlines again this week. The pace of industry is a tough thing for a gentle academic like myself to get my head around. I shan’t leave you in the lurch, though. You may remember that last week I wrote what I thought was a pretty innocuous post that set off a bit of a tussle by making cultural comparisons between my new home and my birthplace. Kitty, who blogs as Boring History Girl, took umbrage at some of my comparisons and kicked off a bit of a debate. Well, those of you who have been around for a while know that I like a good debate and often welcome people with whom I don’t necessarily agree to give their two cents. I actually don’t disagree that much with Kitty, but a debate is no fun if all the parties agree, so I asked her over to A Free Man to talk a bit more about what it means to be Australian in the age of American commercial imperialism. So, without further ado, here’s a true blue Aussie with the Antipodean perspective:

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To start off with I think we need to define some territory. Firstly, I was born in Australia, as were my parents, my grandparents, and their parents, and I’m proud of that and Australia is my home.  But, like most Australians, I’m also British – my relatives were from Scotland (on both sides), Yorkshire and Cornwall.  Scotland’s in my blood and comes out in lots of good ways (I can hold my drink, like the cold and know how to have a laugh) and bad ways (I’m tight with money and have a strong tendency towards stomach fat).  I also make a mean pasty.  Aside from this I’m also a flag waving socialist.  Put it down to too many Labor sub-branch meetings in my formative years and a penchant for Billy Bragg records.

Secondly, there are lots of things I like about The United States of America (hereafter referred to as America to save my wee fingers):

  1. The Met
  2. The New York Review of Books
  3. Pavement and Bob Dylan

… are just a few. Thirdly, there are also lot of things I don’t like about America:

  1. Many of the accents (yeah, I know, like I can talk).
  2. When their governments are conservative they’re conservative.
  3. Their lateness in joining the war (I get this one from my father).

…. are also a few.Fourth, I have had only two American friends in my life, but they were good friends.  One when I was living in Paris, and one when I was living in London, so on both occasions they were out of their natural habitat.  I have never been to America.

So there we have it.  That’s my cultural baggage.

I would also like to note when I talk about ‘America’ or ‘American’ here, I’m talking about the machine of government and industry.  Not you, not your dad, not your best friend, not the guy in the office you talk to over coffee.  Just like when we talk about Cambodia and the killing fields, or Australia and Indigenous health.
But now I’m going to talk about something totally separate from American, or Australia.  The Euro (stick with me here).  I know that travelling through Europe is now easier with a common currency and trade is easier and all is well and happy with the world.

I hate the Euro. Really, really hate it.

And despite the fact I know it’s unhealthy to hate a currency, I have total faith in my reasons.  For me, as the tourist, the joy of looking at the new money, and getting the feel of it, ordering my pizza with lira, my escargot with francs and tapas with pesos is gone.  But I really do believe there will be a flow on effect for Europeans.  I bet if you ask a Brit, or a Chinese or an American or an Australian what’s on their 10 dollar/pound/yuan note – they can have a fairly good stab at it (ours is Banjo Paterson wearing a rather sterling hat).  When the Romans wanted to impose their rule on conquered nations one of the first things they did was mint a Caesar on the coins.  It imposed their reference points on the empire and removed something that everyone used every day that helped to define their collective identity.

So, when AFM asked me what I thought of American consumerism in Australia there was a lot to consider – and trust me I’ve written a million drafts of this.  But I think the Euro is a nice illustration.  I see large, multinationals trying to do to us what the Romans did to Gaul.  But instead of sesterces they’re using burgers, cola drinks and Muzak infused shopping centres.

Obviously not all multinationals are American, but I can see Australia changing.  What we eat, what we wear, how we amuse ourselves, what’s on the telly, the music we listen to etc etc – and America does seem to be the dominating influence.  Not surprising: it’s a big, powerful nation full of human beings and human beings are innately greedy.  Sell! Sell! Sell!  I believe strongly in the old adage about camels and needles.  Money is the route of all evil.  And American consumerism seems to put the accumulation of money above all else.

Then there’s our heath care and education systems, lordy help us if we go down the user-pays path there.  Our PM following the man who seems to be roundly considered by Americans to be the worst president ever into conflicts of dubious origin is not a positive indicator either.

But how do companies, any company, convince us to spend our hard earned cash on their particular gee-gaw or doobie-what’s-it.  As far as I can tell marketing seems to regularly focus on the fact that we’re not particularly good/cool/thin/attractive/successful if we don’t have their product.  To me, the might of America seems to be doing this to poor, dim-witted Australia.  The pimply, lanky kid in the corner, we’re being convinced our lifestyle, products and habits aren’t up to scratch.  Kids don’t want to go the chippy for Friday night dinners anymore.  Advertising has convinced them that McDonalds is more fun.  God knows it can’t be the food that’s the drawcard.  We have lots of things uniquely Australian and yet we’re passing them over for stuff from somewhere else.

And so Gaul becomes less Gaulish and the whole world is slowly becoming Roman.

And the only people we have to blame are ourselves.  Stand up for yourselves Australia. Don’t let that other guy convince you that our way is not good enough.  Stop being so lazy, and easily lead and look around you and recognise that what you have is worthwhile.  Not always perfect, but worthwhile.  I say the same thing to the residents of India, Ethiopia, Turkey and Peru.  Diversity is what makes the world wonderful, don’t let it be stamped out by a couple of NYC suits with mansions on the coast.  And when America falls (as it will, reference again the Caesars) don’t let the next guy do it either.

You’ll notice there are a lot of food references in here.  It’s tea time and I’m starving.  I also write a food blog so it’s quite ironic that I’m writing this now.  But anyway you’re all invited around to my place on Australia Day for BBQ snags, a slab of Coopers Pale, and a big fat pav for dessert.  No burgers allowed!

But as this post is now almost as long as an undergraduate tutorial paper I will end by saying that I saw an advertisement on the telly recently for cake mixture.  With new and improved ‘frosting’.  I rest my case.

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Well there you go. Americans? Australians? What do y’all think? Is America the Rome of the 21st Century?

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This live version of Pavement’s “Unfair” comes from a show in Missoula, Montana in 1997. Buy the studio album from whence it came – “Crooked Rain, Crooked Rain” -  from Pavement - Crooked Rain, Crooked Rain.

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