OK, first off we are not on fire. Thanks for all the e-mails and comments, but the fires that you’ve seen in the news are in Victoria and we’re in South Australia. For American readers, that’s about the distance between Florida and Texas. Frequent commenter and occasional guest poster Jamie asked why so many people are dying in the fires (173 at last count). The short answer is that I don’t know. I’m speculating that it is kind of a perfect storm of the ubiquitous Australian drought, a lack of water for fighting fires and dousing houses and the relatively poor infrastructure in country Victoria. Once you get out of the cities in Australia, it’s country (think of the pre-Interstate U.S. West). Often these bush towns only have one road in and one road out and that may be part of the problem. Whatever is going on, it’s a disaster of fairly epic proportions and the most disgusting thing about it is that these fires were intentionally set. For more about the Victoria fires, check out ABC’s full coverage. I’m a bit worried about Agnes of It All Started With Carbon Monoxide, one of my favorite music bloggers, who lives somewhere in the Victorian countryside and has been quiet for the last few days. If you’re interested in helping folks out, the Red Cross and ABC have some suggestions.
Over in SA, the heat wave broke at long last on Sunday. After a change in the wind direction and a fierce but too brief rain, we woke to a cool dewy morning – an euphoric feeling after a couple of weeks of crushing heat. The pleasure of a pleasant summer morning was short-lived, however, as we had to jump in the car and head for Adelaide’s airport to deposit Dr. O’C onto a flight for Sydney and, ultimately, Florida. She’s headed for a week long conference in Disney country – leaving Boy Z and A Free Man to fend for ourselves. That’s right, gentle readers, for the first time I’ll be parenting solo for ten days.*
Late in the afternoon I lay, bone weary, on the parched grass of the back yard with a husky dog panting in my face keeping half an eye on Boy Z as he spun and babbled about. Watching him, seeing myself and his mother in his face, I had a fleeting feeling of panic – just what the hell am I doing here? I am woefully underqualified to look after a seventeen month old child, am completely incompetent as a parent. I only learned to take care of myself a couple of years ago. It’s always been touch and go with the dog. Now I have a totally vulnerable – despite appearances to the contrary as he charged the dog with cricket bat flailing for the 473rd time – little human who is dependent entirely on me.
This gripping insecurity is something I’ve struggled with for a long time. On bad days I feel woefully inadequate to deal with a lot of things – work, social situations, human interaction of any kind. It’s rarer these days, but with the onset of fatherhood I found a whole new bog of insecurities. What am I going to do the first time Boy Z fails a test? What am I going to do the first time he gets in a fight? (Actually, he gets in fights all the time at day care. They seem to be running some sort of toddler cage match down there. The answer to my question is ‘nothing’.) What am I going to do the first time he struggles in a sport? What am I going to tell him when he asks about girls? What about the first time he comes home drunk? On a day like Sunday, all of these questions and more can race through my head – rendering my brain into a Formula 1 track. And I can become nearly paralyzed with the noise and rumbles.
That’s what was happening as I laid on the grass on Sunday afternoon. But the good thing about having a toddler boy around is that what is going on in my head is completely irrelevant to him. My paralysis was cured reasonably quickly with a whack in the head from a tiny cricket bat. Along with the sharp pain came the relief of a realization that I just had to get on with this one day, just had to play with my son today. And I got up. And I got on with it.
A little boy, a piece of willow – that’s all it takes? Should have done this years ago.
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* This isn’t exclusively true. Dr. O’C’s Mum is around and is remarkably helpful. In fact, she’s both dropping Boy Z off and picking him up from day care today. But still…
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This track from the fantastic Okkervil River comes from the free “Golden Opportunities Mixtape” that the band released on their website in December 2007. Pitchfork still has an active link if you would like to download the album of rarities.
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by Cat
10 Feb 2009 at 11:36
I was just watching the fires on the news and realized you hadn’t posted in a couple of days. I’m glad you and your family are well. Good luck with the ten days without mom. I believe I would have figured out a way to hitch a ride to that conference.
by mongoliangirl
10 Feb 2009 at 11:52
I am going to train one of our dogs to hit me on the head with a bat.
by admin
10 Feb 2009 at 12:41
Cat – I’ve spent far too much time in Orlando, so I had no desire to stowaway for this trip. If the conference had been in NYC then it would be a different story…
Mongola – I reckon a horse kick would do the same job.
by Robin
10 Feb 2009 at 12:47
Glad to hear all is well with your family and your area of the country. Boy Z looks like such a little man now. You and the Doc are doing a great job!
Robins last blog post..Two, One, …
by Coal Miner's Granddaughter
10 Feb 2009 at 12:59
I wasn’t worried. After reading Bill Bryson’s “In A Sunburned Country” I have a general knowledge of Australia and what is where. Figured you guys were OK.
And I’ll tell you what the lactation consultant said to me three years, four years, and 24 days ago. “You’ll work your way up to being a mother of a toddler/pre-teen/teen/adult. It doesn’t happen overnight. When you get there, you’ll be ready.”
And? She was right. Just hug him and let him know he’s loved. The rest comes later.
And how do I get three of those cricket bats?
Coal Miner’s Granddaughters last blog post..It’s Up To Me To Stay Drug Free
by Erin
10 Feb 2009 at 13:12
What a great post! Although, I’m not yet a parent myself, I still hear everything you are saying. I have those thoughts about the future children I hope to have. I am a insecure worrier myself. But I think you got it right… cross those bridges when you get to them. Enjoy the moment. Boy Z will be a great Man Z someday.
Erins last blog post..Adventures in puppyhood
by muskrat
10 Feb 2009 at 13:15
ha! there’s no way you’re going to make it 10 days. okay, you probably will.
i found out today that i’m going to be abandoned for 4 days in mid-may. i’m getting a head start on panic already.
muskrats last blog post..rome if you want to
by chris
10 Feb 2009 at 13:21
CMD is right, you learn as you go. I think parenting also fosters humility, a little knock down from the hubris and invincibility of youth. I’m humbled every day in the ways I fail as a parent. Still, some of my best stories now are the times my mum screwed up, like when she forgot me at school or told me that not every kid eats breakfast everyday because she was late for work. I know she loves me and without those screwups, I’d have very little to tease her with.
Glad you guys are a safe distance from the fires.
chriss last blog post..The Magnificent Feats of Five
by admin
10 Feb 2009 at 14:13
Robin – He’s a man with that damn bat. I blame SSG – she sent it to him. Weapons are always a great gift.
CMGD – I love Bill Bryson. I sent my Dad that book for Xmas this year. Thanks for the words of wisdom – they’re good ones!
Erin – Thanks. Your dogs are about as big a commitment as kids. Our dog was a good warm up. Of course, you can’t leave a kid in the back yard when you go out to dinner. But still.
Muskrat – Yeah, I probably won’t.
Chris – Do kids eat breakfast every day? Shit. I’ve already screwed up. No wonder he was so grumpy this morning.
by Joe
10 Feb 2009 at 15:00
Glad to *know* that you’re safe. I actually got on Google Maps to see where the fires were and where you were.
It’s also nice to know that I’m not the only one feeling inadequate at this whole thing. Luckily, Z moves too fast for you to dwell on those thoughts most times.
Joes last blog post..Played Us Like a Fiddle
by eden
10 Feb 2009 at 15:39
TODDLER CAGE FIGHTING.
Hilarious … Freeman, I think you’re onto something!!!!
Thank you so, so very much for your comment today. I guess it takes all sorts, everyone’s entitled to their own opinion, but really! Some people are unbelievable!
Your validation of blogging/recovery helped me HEAPS. Thank you.
And, good luck for the ten days. Although I am certain you won’t need it. XOX
edens last blog post..A Post in Two Parts
by Agnes
10 Feb 2009 at 16:11
Hello there Chris, thank you so very much for your concern. Thankfully myself and my family are ok. We are further north than the fires but I think like everybody else in Victoria, we do have friends who have lost property and loved ones and we are all walking around in a bit of a daze at the moment – hence the quietness over at my blog.
I don’t think this is ever something that you expect to happen and I can’t believe that this has happened in my own homestate. To think that some of these fires were deliberately lit is beyond comprehension and I don’t think words will ever describe the atrocity of such an act.
Anyway, I could go on for hours, but I will spare you and just thank you again for your concern, I do appreciate it.
by flutter
10 Feb 2009 at 16:25
glad to see that you’re ok!
flutters last blog post..A lifetime of walls between us
by Theresa B
10 Feb 2009 at 17:27
Ten minutes with my nieces and nephews and I’m ready to run screaming from the building. So, uh, good luck with that ten day thing. Don’t let him near anything with a sharp edge.
Theresa Bs last blog post..Sex and The City Ain’t Got Nothin’ On Me!
by headbang8
10 Feb 2009 at 17:41
The reason people die is because the fire runs faster than you.
Eucalypt sap is flammable. check at your supermarket, AFM, for eucalyptus oil. It’s used as a solvent and disinfectant. It’s highly flammable.
The trees are virtually sticks of wood soaked in flammable oil. It’s almost as though one were trying to escape a forest that had been doused in gasoline. These fires can move breathtakingly fast, and change course unpredictably.
Many deaths come from people trying to escape, and finding the road cut off both ahead and behind, by a fire that has overtaken them.
Some people feel they can stay behind and use their water tanks to defend their homes. An understandable impulse, but a deadly one.
I have a house in the Victorian High Country. It almost burned in the 2006 fires. But, on Christmas Day, a cool change occurred and spared the hamlet of Sawmill Settlement, near Meriijig. Close call.
Many of my neighbours think it’s charming to live in a eucalypt forest. And it is. But you’ll find Chez Headbang is surrounded by paddocks and poplars. On purpose.
AFM, bone up on the natural history of the eucalypt. You’ll find it fascinating, and horrifying.
headbang8s last blog post..A Highly Successful Plane Crash
by SSG
10 Feb 2009 at 19:10
Ok, so when he’s 16 I’ll get him an air-rifle. then he can shoot birds and you can eat them for tea.
I totally get this post and I love it to. My head is so full of shit like this too it’s a wonder I get out of bed some mornings. But getting on with it is the best solution, and not thinking too much. Thinking is my downfall. I’m glad you have wee Z to distract you. Me I use chocolate and other things not so good for me.
And duuuuude, you’re like the fucking best dad I know so enough already!
SSGs last blog post..Uncertainty
by arizaphale
10 Feb 2009 at 21:37
1) If you need a break, or to feel completely sane and normal by virtue of comparison, come over to our place for tea on Saturday night!!
2) Fires: in addition to headbang’s explanations, the eucalyptus oil evaporates creating a deadly, flammable vapour in the air ABOVE the trees. This ignites in an explosive fireball which vapourises water so forget dousing your home with the garden hose.This idea of ’staying to protect your home’ is fine in the case of scrub or grass fires but is sheer madness in the case of eucalypt infernos. I mean, did you SEE some of the burned houses? They were incinerated. We’re not talking collapsed roofs here, we’re talking cremation. For many people, they followed their ‘bushfire plans’, they did all the right things but in the end the fire was too intense.
3) Good to hear from Agnes!!!!!
arizaphales last blog post..Best Shot Monday: The Adversary
by The Unbearable Banishment
10 Feb 2009 at 23:51
Well, whatever you do, when things get tough and the hard questions need answering, don’t run away. Lots of guys do that—my father did—and it never works out. Your guilt will hunt you down like a wild animal.
The Unbearable Banishments last blog post..the reason i hate confessions of a shopaholic
by Maureen
11 Feb 2009 at 01:18
I admit I was worried about you until I googled a map of Australia and could see that you live far away from Victoria.
I’ve been watching the news reports about the fires with growing dismay and horror, especially after hearing that some of the fires were started deliberately. It must be incredibly difficult to fight the fires during such an extreme heatwave plus I heard that the houses have gas cylinders that are exploding and feeding the fires even more. It sounds like the worst sort of situation for any fire fighters to tackle.
I’m pleased to hear that the heatwave in your area has broke at last.
Being a parent is indeed truly scary if you think about it too much. Just enjoy all those magical moments – like being hit on the head by a tiny cricket bat! – with your son.
Maureens last blog post..London restaurant February deal: ‘Pay what you think it’s worth’
by courtney
11 Feb 2009 at 01:59
Glad you guys are safe from the fires.
It’s not the toddler stage that scares me about parenting — it’s the obnoxious, rebellious teenager phase. I’m not sure I can handle that part.
courtneys last blog post..More Than You Needed To Know
by Jessica K
11 Feb 2009 at 02:16
I emailed Ariz. to make sure y’all were all okay the other day. My mom had said she heard the fires were in New South Wales, and I thought that sounded a little too familiar! I’m glad you guys are okay, and I hope they find the people who started those terrible fires! >:(
I have felt that sense of panic SO many times. The Monday after I had my surgery, Grayson called from school in tears. He had forgotten his lunch, and the cafeteria food was something gross, and his emotions were so strained already, that he just lost it. I couldn’t do anything. I called someone else to take him a lunch, and I just sat there and cried! (Not crying for the lost lunchbox, crying because I knew he was really just upset and worried about me) It is so hard when they have to deal with things without your help! Jeff is always the one to remind me that they have to go through things that hurt in order to build character. I don’t know how I’ll cope the first time a little girl breaks his heart, or if he tries something important to him and fails. I think all parents feel like we aren’t equipped to deal with stuff, but you seem to be doing a great job so far! The good thing about having a creative mind is the ability to wing it through a lot of hard situations!
Jessica Ks last blog post..Do You Believe in Magic??
by NATUI
11 Feb 2009 at 03:39
I can remember my dad standing on our roof in the Mojave. We had a massive Fourth of July fire and burning embers were raining down on our neighborhood. All the houses had roof shingles made of wood, so my dad and all our neighbors were up on the rooftops with garden hoses to keep the houses from igniting. I was too young to know enough to be scared.
As for being completely unprepared for your ten day stint, you probably are. The beauty of the situation is that Baby Z has no idea. All he’ll know is that is he and his dad got to have some crazy cool adventures together. Don’t judge yourself because your son certainly isn’t.
NATUIs last blog post..Inauguration Party: Preschool Style
by sarala
11 Feb 2009 at 10:16
Parenting sure is a trip. A good whack on the head can be helpful every now and then. Of course, us girls, we get left home alone with the baby by the second week of life since generally we stay home longer than hubby. And I nearly had a nervous breakdown the first time my spouse went to a meeting and left me home alone with the baby. In fact, I took 4 day old son number one to a meeting with him so as to not have to stay home alone. That was challenging.
saralas last blog post..Lost/Found Cameras
by Gypsy
12 Feb 2009 at 02:25
This was so lovely and sweet. I feel sure you boys (and the pup) will fare just fine.
Gypsys last blog post..Facebook Fabulous
by admin
12 Feb 2009 at 10:02
Joe – He’s getting faster every day – wait for it.
Eden – No worries. As for the luck – I may need it.
Agnes – Glad you’re A-OK.
Flutter – Thanks.
Teresa – Good advices!
Headbang – I always see this book about the natural history of the eucalypt at the Mary Martin bookshop and am tempted. You may have just pushed me over the edge!
SSG – Why wait til he’s 16, how about next Xmas? And how many dads do you actually know?
Ariza – I know, the cars are melted – it’s incredible!
TUB – I can’t imagine doing that, though it wouldn’t hurt my feelings never to have to change another diaper…
Maureen – I’m pretty happy about the weather change too, it was almost cold last night!
Courtney – I dread the teenage years. Dread.
JK – The whole process seems to be character building. In a good way, I guess.
NATUI – I think fireworks are illegal here, they certainly should be, but you still hear them now and again. Blackmarket no doubt. We’re not getting up to much in the way of adventures yet – it’s been a crazy busy week, but maybe on the weekend.
Sarala – I can’t even remember the early days any more, but I do recall a visceral sense of fear a lot of the time.
by Florida Girl In Sydney
15 Feb 2009 at 14:05
I think the part about there only being one road out — away from the fires– is the case. Someone I spoke to the other day who grew up “in the country” said that the problem is, there’s no way out.
Florida Girl In Sydneys last blog post..It Started With Mochi
by we_be_toys
18 Feb 2009 at 03:09
I had wondered if you guys were near the wildfires – glad to hear you’re not, but yeah, those things suck. Here’s hoping they put it out soon…
your fears about being left on call with the mini monkey aren’t funny, but I did laugh; they reminded me of how crazed I felt after having my first son – “Oh my god! What if he gets sick? It’s all on MY head! I can’t do this! What was I thinking?”
And then they whack you upside the head with a tiny cricket bat, or some spit-up, or a toxic-waste diaper, and you’re back in the here and now.
Ever see the film “Parenthood”? It pretty much sums it up.
we_be_toyss last blog post..Hindsight Doesn’t Amount to a Hill of Beans
by bluestreak
08 Mar 2009 at 04:10
The answer is you can´t know what to do. You WILL know what you think you should do at the time, but you will be a different person when Boy Z asks about girls or comes home drunk. You won´t be the dad with a toddler, but the dad that has grown alongside Boy Z.
That insecurity though? That´s a good thing. It means you´re weighing things and thinking things through and fully aware of your effect on him. That is what makes a good parent.
bluestreaks last blog post..A Day in the Life of an Unemployed Blues