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I’ve been trying to get a photo of Boy Z’s (we call him Fang now) broken tooth for ages, but it’s hard enough to get the front of him in the viewfinder these days, nevermind his teeth. But I strapped him down yesterday and got the photo that he’ll be talking about in therapy in twenty years or so.
Won’t matter though, because I won’t be around. In fact, this could very well be my last post ever. I seem to have contracted some sort of Antipodean Death Plague and it’s all I can do to tap out these words with weak shaking fingers. It’s been nice knowing you all and I’m grateful now that I did the post about my funeral music when I did – prescient indeed.
For my last post, I’ve got another interview for you all. Unfortunately, it’s just an interview of me. I don’t usually do memes, but I saw this interview meme on People In The Sun and I’m a sucker for a bit of self-importance. So, I asked for some questions from my buddy in Baltimore and what follows is our ‘conversation’:
PIS: You gonna have another baby or what?
AFM: Why on earth would I want to do something like that? You have one, when’s the last time you made it out the door to work with a clean shirt? When is the last time you spent a Sunday afternoon reading a good book? When is the last time you spent a whole day without talking baby talk at least once. Double my misery? Are you shitting me?
PIS: If you had one day to have your hair back, what style would it be?
AFM: I’ve kind of come to terms with my hair loss, I’m not going to obsess about it or join up with the Rogaine, hair replacement and toupee crowds. But that’s not the question. If I had it back… I never wore a mohawk, I think I’d go with that for a little while – just to establish my punk rock credibility.
PIS: How come you’re not a nerd? Or are you? Or are you just one of them inter-lectuals?
AFM: I don’t know the answer to this question. I was definitely a nerd in high school. I don’t know what a nerd is anymore. Isn’t it a good thing these days? Does it make me a nerd to not know what a nerd is? Probably.
OK, I’ve googled “What is a nerd?” Here’s what Wikipedia, the arbiter of everything, has to say:
Nerd is a term often bearing a derogatory connotation or stereotype, that refers to a person who passionately pursues intellectual activities, esoteric knowledge, or other obscure interests that are age inappropriate rather than engaging in more social or popular activities. Therefore, a nerd is often excluded from physical activity and considered a loner by peers, or will tend to associate with like-minded people.
Well, that sounds a fair bit like me. So…
PIS: When was the last time you were violent?
AFM: What the hell are you talking about, fucker? Do you want to step outside?
Seriously, though, I’m a pacifist. The last time I was in a fight I was probably 13 or so. I suspect that I would have lost. I’m also a bit of a wuss and, apparently, a nerd.
PIS: What do you feel guilty about?
AFM: I don’t really do guilt, I think that it’s kind of an unnatural emotion thrust upon us by four thousand years of Judeo-Christian badgering. I have a few regrets. Actually – with apologies to Paul Anka - regrets, I’ve had a few. But then again, too few too mention. I did what I had to do and saw it through without exemption.
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Now this interview meme reminded me of something that Neil at Citizen of the Month started last year. He called it the Great Interview Experiment and it basically involved a lot of bloggers interviewing each other. I got totally sucked into it and not only did I meet a couple of bloggers who I still read today, but it inspired me to keep doing interviews – mostly of musicians and scientists - something that still fills space on A Free Man today.
Well, with apologies to Neil, I would like to revive the Great Interview Experiment. Call it Interview 2009. I’d love it if you guys would participate. It’s a great way to meet new bloggers, learn a bit more about some of your favorites, to get some attention for your site and to feel, even for a moment, like a celebrity.
Here’s how it’s going to work. Leave a comment telling me that you want to play along. I’ll interview the first person to comment.. That person will post their interview on their site and then interview the second person who comments. That person will post their interview, and in turn, interview the third. The only way that it works is if everyone holds up their end of the bargain. If you have no intention of doing an interview yourself, then don’t bother commenting. I’ll post links to all the interviews and sort of moderate things. If it takes off, I’ll set up a separate page on my site with links to all the interviews. If it doesn’t take off, well, my self-esteem will take a hit. But I’ll probably be dead anyway, so what does it matter. Remember – The Pogues.
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Sid Vicious’ version of “My Way” can be found on “Sid Vicious Selected Favorites” available from 
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It’s all about the mohawk… maybe one day?
I hope you feel better and am wondering if you do survive– are you still planning on coming to Sydney? Aussie Erin and I want to get together with you guys!
Florida Girl In Sydneys last blog post..It Started With Mochi
I am in. I hope you feel better and live far away from the fires!
Heathers last blog post..Hey, it’s that post after the really awkward doomsday post.
Hey,
I was here earlier but I couldn’t leave the first comment because that would have broken the rules and create a cosmic shift of time and space.
You know I don’t do the baby talk, though. I think it has to come naturally. Really, the only words I say to the baby are, “Put the CD down on the ground and step away slowly. Put your hands where I can see them.”
And even if we both stepped outside, to beat me up you’d still have to dig a hole and come out on the other side. And even then you’d still be about an hour walk away from here.
And finally, I’m glad you know it’s Paul Anka. Too many people in the world are living a lie.
People in the Suns last blog post..I will not write a Valentine’s post
that munchkin is so cute, I can’t stand it!
flutters last blog post..Therapy notes: Well, that was blunt
Oh my where did Z get those lashes from? The tooth? Not so bad. When my middle daughter was three she fell off our bed while my husband and I were right in front of her getting ready for work. She fell on her face and one of her two front teeth left a giant gouge in the wood floor, cut her lip and bent way far back. I called my uncle who’s a dentist for some immediate advice so we could save the tooth. He said pull it back to where it’s suppossed to be and wait and see. We got her calmed down and I went to do it and she yelped before I even touched it and I cried uncle. Couldn’t do it. We waited for it to turn grey and fall out but it never did. She’s a thumbsucker so she eventually sucked it back to the right spot:) I can’t tell you how many heart stopping, cringe worthy moments I’ve had as a parent. It’s humbling as fuck.
Interview? Yes please, I never pass up an opportunity to talk about myself.
chriss last blog post..I’ll Fly Away
I’m in!
And I’m sorry you’re sick – I am too, I blame the shift in temperature. I ALWAYS get colds in the summer when it goes from hot to cool to hot again. So stoooopid.
I think I’m self opinionated enough in my own forum – not sure anyone would be brave enough to publish my thoughts on their own blog, but stay away from right wing politics and commercial television and it don’t come off as too cold nosed. Does everyone get the same questions?
Sorry you’re not well, being sick in this weather with a bairn to look after must be less than fun.
kittys last blog post..not the popular view I know
Hmmmm, the Sid Vicious version of My Way.
My Way was the name of my first stepfathers big massive boat, named after his fave Frank Sinatra song. After he killed himself, we all sat around planning his funeral, thinking of songs for it. I said “Hey, what about My Way?”
Stunned silence. Wasn’t really appropriate, considering he committed suicide. HA!
Here endeth world’s most random comment – sorry!
(PS I love your interview idea, count me in …. I hope you feel better very, very soon …. that pic is divine. Your babe is beautiful …. snaggletooth and all!)
edens last blog post..Evolution, Baby
Can I comment without being included in the thing? I mean, I mean not that I don’t want to, I’m just afraid I’d mess the whole thing up because sometimes I go a few days without computer access and other times I have the access but not the time…
We’re all sick here at my house too, so that’s why I have some computer time. Great picture and I hope you don’t die! Well, I mean, we all have to die sometime, but I hope you feel better soon and it isn’t this illness that gets you.
Jill/Twipply Skwoods last blog post..Those Girl Scout People Are Trying to Kill Us
I watched Sid & Nancy last night (for Valentine’s Day) and had to laugh at your lyric choice today.
Cats last blog post..I Want It! I Want It! I Want It!
Ah, I believe we have video evidence of the last time you were violent. B. canadensis would have to disagree with your answer.
As for the broken tooth, I guess Boy Z’s in training for rugby rather than cricket?
NATUIs last blog post..Fathers, Stop Giving Your Daughters Away
Your shirts are already dirty, man. You may as well go ahead and give Z a little brother or sister, so he can start a little gang.
I’ll sign on for your interview thing. Just let me know who I’m interviewing!
Nicholes last blog post..Lemon Meringue was my favorite
She’s got a point. I’ll do an interview too.
arizaphales last blog post..One More Addiction (Natalie Imbruglia)
I have to beg to differ about your last fight being when you were 13. I have some kind of recollection of a fight at a grad school recruiting party (can you say nerd?) involving someone’s shirt being pulled over his head and a certain hockey-style punch. But then again, I might be a little biased in my recollection.
Jason – I forgot about that – wasn’t that your wife kicking my ass? That was some damn fine recruiting.
I’m going to assume that you’re not signing up for the interview project – unless you’re going to revive the J & J Blog?
PIS – If I’m telling the truth, I had to look it up (the Anka thing) but I did know that there was no way it was Sinatra.
Chris – Humbling as fuck about sums it up.
Eden – What’s kind of funny is that I’ve often heard “My Way” invoked as the antithesis of the life that you and I live. It’s not really a theme song for me.
Nichole – I just spilled half a sugar-free Red Bull on myself at work so it’s not just the boy.
Dear Drama Queen,
Please don’t die until I get home. My mum has to work and it might be hard to find someone else to look after Zach. Just a thought you know.
I mean if you can’t hold out that long, I am sure it will be ok.
What song did you want played at your funeral again?? Wind beneath my wings by Bette Midler??
Love,
Dr O’C
PS my comment does not mean i want to be involved in the whole interview thing.
I may be able to pull through one more day.
You’re not allowed to participate anyway because you don’t do enough guest posts to earn the right to be called a ‘blogger’.
that sounds fun (the interview game), but it sounds like i had to be the first to comment to play?
hope you get well soon. i’d hate to see water towers in australia with “save free man” on them.
muskrats last blog post..overheard
Muskrat – Pay attention. Aren’t you a lawyer? A details guy? You’re going to be interviewed by the preceding blogger – Arizaphale – and will interview whoever comments next.
Remind me, if I ever get arrested in the Hotlanta Metro Area again to call a different lawyer.
i cant believe the ‘wind beneath my wings’ comment didn’t ellicit more of a response! you must really be sick.
oh yeah, what is with the ding on my sons forehead???? i can see it through the hair! you didn’t do a good enough job of hiding it.
yes, i am STILL at LAX!! it is the layover from hell and we still have another couple of hours to go.
I’m not allowing you to get a reaction.
The ding on his head is from one of the feral kids at the bogan day care center you send him to. And I don’t style his hair, which means he’s fitting in well at the bogan day care center.
If I had known the Dr.OC was at LAX on layover I would have come by and let her meet her fdil:)
chriss last blog post..I’ll Fly Away
Count me in too.
Rols last blog post..Stay Out Of My Way On Valentine’s Day…
I dont wanna get involved cos I am a loner, but I just wanted to publicly laugh at you and Dr O’c’s “conversation”. Also does that mean Dr O’c you had your birthday in an airport?
SSGs last blog post..More Indian photos…
You saved me during Neil’s experiment when my interviewer bailed. I’m so totally in the boat with your Interview 2009.
JChevaiss last blog post..What’s makes a "Dream" a "Reality"?
I was in the grocery store the other day and noticed, next to the Rogaine, a store-brand version for half the price.
Nice try, Kroger. You can keep your Minoxidil; I’ll keep my dignity.
I’d probably pay good money to see you in a mohawk. Oh! In a mohawk AND fighting.
Ok, I’ll play along with the interview thingamawhatzit. I may need someone to tell me explicitly who I’m to interview, though. The person who comments after me? God, I’m slow.
Gypsys last blog post..Facebook Fabulous
I don’t recall you actually getting your ass kicked. I do seem to remember you going a bit Ted Nugent and you got her in a Stranglehold.
I think I’m playing Guitar Hero too much lately. That song’s just been stuck in my head.
Don’t diss me, FreeMan. I was rushed.
muskrats last blog post..a guest post at pointless banter
damn, looks like i missed out on this. when i have time i´ll hunt down some of the interviews.
bluestreaks last blog post..A Day in the Life of an Unemployed Blues
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