I can’t really do a travelogue post about our just ended week away on Kangaroo Island. My brain doesn’t work in that linear, Monday we did this, Tuesday we did that. Added to that, our particular holiday was one of isolation from the information world and one of the advantages of unplugging is that the days start to blur. Time becomes more abstract and you have the opportunity to just enjoy the moment.
Our trip to Kangaroo Island, for me, was one of impressions. Driving south from Adelaide through the Flerieu Peninsula, I was struck again by the vast emptiness and subtle beauty of my adopted homeland. On the cusp of Autumn, before the rains start in earnest, it’s almost monotone – the olive green of the gum trees and the expansive blonde of sun bleached grasses. But then round a gasping turn and you’re dazzled by the azure Southern Ocean which melts at some indeterminate point into the Antipodean sky. I don’t know whether the blues are really more vivid here or if it’s a trick of the brain, but the glistening sea and rich blue sky never fail to overwhelm me.
Kangaroo Island was as advertised – quiet, isolated and stunningly beautiful. The separation from the ‘outside world’ from the clanging, banging, ringing information age was an opiate delivered at a perfect time. It’s amazing how much noise – digital, audio, visual – we’re subjected to on a daily basis and there was no painful withdrawal, just a slowly, soothing sense of calm. It took a couple of days to unwind from the crippling, crisis-ridden crap of the daily grind, but once it hit, our isle of isolation was bliss.
The house was a fantasy, built at the beginning of the decade by a couple of hippies who wanted to ‘live light on the land’, it tries to blend in with the surrounding environment. Inside it’s all native wood and curves and colors, an absolute wonderland for kids. But it was at its best after dark. Maybe it was because the house melts into its surroundings, maybe because the sparse human population of Kangaroo Island allows for a dense animal population, or maybe because we left fruit and veg scraps on the porch every night. Whatever the reason, as soon as the sun set the native fauna turned our hippy holiday house into a nocturnal playground. Dr. O’C didn’t get much sleep the first night because we hadn’t identified the loud grunts and shrieks the ripped through the night as koala calls, hadn’t figured out that the thumps and scrapes coming from above were wallabies (yes, wallabies) wandering around the roof, hadn’t determined that the shadowy forms outside the sliding glass door were just pudgy possums (cute Australian possums, not the scraggly North American opossum). Being a nature lover, I was in heaven. I even got the boy out of bed one night to show him a cheeky little Tamar wallaby that had hopped his way up into the courtyard. It took Boy Z ages to go to sleep after that, but that snaggletoothed smile was absolutely worth it.
We did things, you have to do things with a wee one in tow. But for me, it wasn’t what we did that mattered as much as the doing – the time spent with expecting partner and expected son. Barreling along narrow island highways at 110 km per hour with the two people I love most in the world in close proximity. The scattered and unforced words between us. The music, for me it’s always the music. Whether rattling down a rusty washboard road to Sun Kil Moon, dancing around the hippy house with my son to Bob Marley, or singing along to The Shins while winding through the Flinders Chase National Park.
The things we did weren’t things that I would have chosen to do. I wouldn’t have toured a sheep dairy or paid money to be brought down onto a beach full of sea lions. But the pure and awesome joy and wonder of a child encountering a sheep or a seal for the first time is absolutely worth any amount of time or money.
And that’s why it doesn’t matter that it wasn’t relaxing. Travel with an 18 month old boy is, by definition, not relaxing. There’s not much sleeping in, little time for reading in the hammock and walking on the beach just isn’t an option. Neither Dr. O’C nor I are used to 24-7 child care and we each lost our temper more than once. But a few days in, I began to recognize the gift that this holiday provided. I take a day off a week to spend with the boy and try to keep my weekends open for family time. Beyond that, I get a half hour or so in the morning and a couple of hours at night with the boy – and that offers just freeze frames of his development. A new word, out of context. A new physical trick without the process that helped to form it. During this week together, along with the agony of a whinging toddler, was the opportunity to see him grow in real time. To see the mighty mental leaps that are required to understand that a finch, a kookaburra, a pelican and an emu are all ‘birrs’. To watch the lingual gymnastics required to be able to point out ‘kawawoos’. Slightly disturbingly, to observe the beginnings of deceit – when asked if he’s pooed his nappy, he now responds with the sweetest little ‘no, no’ and an earnest shake of the head.
These are the moments, these are why I went on holiday. Isolation is a damn fine thing when you’re isolated with those you love.
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The Shins’ “Chutes Too Narrow” is available from Amazon.
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by Nichole
18 Mar 2009 at 23:14
Thanks, Chris. I needed a reminder like this today.
Nicholes last blog post..In which Cornell is a trickster
by Jacob
18 Mar 2009 at 23:27
It makes me feel so lame that I was completely enthralled and completely identified with your next-to-last paragraph. My son turns two in May and I have much the same experience, although my wife and I teach so we spend two straight months with him in the summer and at least a three-day weekend each month.
There’s a lot of horrible aspects of being a parent, like the fact that my son is not a morning person so for the thirty minutes he’s in the house between the time we get him up and the time we stick him in the car to go to daycare, he’s screaming and telling us to “Go way!”
Then it’s all worth it when I can get him to say “I’m gangsta” that afternoon.
I still prefer to tell people that being a parent is a miserable and unnecessary stage of life, partly because it’s technically true and partly because I think it’s funny to pretend that I hate children and being a parent when I actually kind of like my kid.
Jacobs last blog post..Help Me Celebrate Death (of Newspapers)*
by Jud
18 Mar 2009 at 23:32
Sounds like a wonderful, memorable trip. I need a getaway myself. I think I will strap the canoe on the Rover and head south, then see how many gators I can spot in the Alabama swamps.
Juds last blog post..The Fog
by courtney
18 Mar 2009 at 23:52
Aww. What a sweet post. I know I’ve said this before, but seriously — your Z-centric posts make half of me want to have a kid and the other half want to run screaming from all children. Well, maybe this post was 70-30 in favor of having one.
courtneys last blog post..My Life Is Like A Game Of Roulette
by chris
19 Mar 2009 at 01:31
Izzy is doing the sweet, emphatic no-nos when I ask her if she pooped, when the smell clearly indicates it. It makes me laugh every time.
Your observation about watching Z do things for the first time stuck with me. I think that’s one of the neatest parts about parenthood. When you are young and doing this stuff, you don’t recognize the significance. When you are finally old enough to see the significance, you are further away from the wonder of new things. Because the children are yours and reflections of you, watching their wonder is like seeing it straddling both adult and child.
I’m so glad you all got away, a little jealous maybe:)
chriss last blog post..Ask Formerly Fun: Dude Looks Like a Lady
by mjrc
19 Mar 2009 at 02:05
kangaroo island sounds phenomenal, although all that wildlife so nearby would make it hard for me relax at first as well. i love the outdoors but i’m not really a nature gal at heart! it doesn’t make much sense, but it’s true.
oh, the children. it makes it all worthwhile to see their eyes light up and see them make those connections and figure out how the world works. i get a lot of enjoyment from finding out how they see the world and what they think makes things happen–and mine are much older. the main difference is i can close my eyes now and take a nap and not have to worry about safety issues as such. i worry about different issues!
mjrcs last blog post..Contrast Podcast, Meet Mount Marcy
by mickey
19 Mar 2009 at 05:02
What a softie.
I’m sorry, but once you described cruising empty roads at 110 per, I could only think of Mad Max. You didn’t run into any bikers, did you? Mad Chris.
Great post, really.
mickeys last blog post..Maybe telemarketers aren’t so bad after all
by SouthernInsanity
19 Mar 2009 at 06:25
Great point … isolation isn’t necessarily being alone.
by Ginny
19 Mar 2009 at 07:26
I’m around my kids 27 hours a day (yeah, I know) and I still manage to miss “the process” half the time. You hit on it, the distractions, the confines of day to day life are louder and just generally worse than I admit. Inspiring.
by Agnes
19 Mar 2009 at 07:54
“before the rains start in earnest” – you little optimist, you.
I have nothing much to add to the conversation, but I did want to say that this line:
“The scattered and unforced words between us”
is beautiful.
by Erin
19 Mar 2009 at 08:48
What a beautiful post. I know you know it and we all know it, but you really are a talented writer. I would never have expected a travelogue post from you. Your description was beautiful and tangible. I loved it. I’m so very glad you had a week to unplug and enjoy. I think K.I is a place I certainly need to visit.
Erins last blog post..Butterflies, Tutus and Beautiful Girls
by NATUI
19 Mar 2009 at 08:49
Love that you got to see those moments. It really does help keep the focus.
NATUIs last blog post..Technology Gone Too Far
by Joe @ Irrational Dad
19 Mar 2009 at 12:01
I sometimes wonder how I’m going to react when Tyler tells a lie. Then I lie to myself and say that he’ll NEVER lie to me. Not to his daddy. No way, no sir. I’m doomed.
Joe @ Irrational Dads last blog post..And for that name, which is no part of thee
by yellojkt
19 Mar 2009 at 12:14
Sounds like a great trip. And what a bunch of weird wildlife you ran across.
yellojkts last blog post..Gaiman On Colbert
by admin
19 Mar 2009 at 14:16
Nichole – Yeah, in some ways you’re really lucky. But I wouldn’t trade places with you, I just couldn’t do it.
That picture of Zach is my new favorite. There’s something about it – the cheeky grin, eyes away from camera, a joke in his own mind – that is just him.
Jacob – There’s innate lameness in being a parent, but it’s lameness I wouldn’t trade for all the cool I had in my 20’s. If I can teach my boy to say ‘Go Dawgs!’ by football season I’ll be in heaven! I’m going to train him using chocolate as a reward.
Jud – I haven’t been on a canoe trip in too long. After half a day at work I’m ready for another vacation.
Courtney – Don’t do it. I’m just trying to convince myself it’s worth it.
Chris – I know and it’s happening so fast. And he spends most of his waking hours away from me and sometimes that makes my heart hurt.
I guess we get another one soon, but still.
MJRC – I wish I could take a nap outside of the kid’s naptime.
Mickey – Unfortunately 110 kph is only about 66 mph, so not really all that mad.
SIS – Thanks.
Ginny – I don’t think I would see it if I were around all the time, but when you get a week here and a week there it makes a huge difference.
Agnes – Well, one can hope.
Erin – It’s worth a trip, especially from the crowded East Coast.
NATUI – Deed it does.
Joe – To his credit, he may not be lying, he just might not know!
Yello – They aren’t weird here!
by Angel
19 Mar 2009 at 20:08
This is now one of my very favorite posts of yours. I can feel the sweet love for your family in every word. And the smile on your face as you talk about boy Z experiencing all those things.
I’m also terribly jealous! That sounds like an amazing place. You just keep proving my infatuation with land is well-founded. I’ve always wanted to visit, and someday I will.
Angels last blog post..Happy St. Patrick’s Day
by Coal Miner's Granddaughter
19 Mar 2009 at 23:47
Those are some adorable possums. I fear my little ones will be disappointed at seeing their first American possums, after spending months reading “Possum Magic.”
So very glad you got away and that you enjoyed yourselves! And that beach house is still awesome.
Coal Miner’s Granddaughters last blog post..How to Punk Your Husband
by Jessica K
20 Mar 2009 at 04:35
Aww, that’s awesome. I’m so glad you got to go enjoy each other for a while.
The place you stayed sounds amazing! Sadly, if we did that, the wildlife we would see would be things like raccoons and black bears… Not exactly who you want to draw to your porch at night!!
Jessica Ks last blog post..Because I can’t seem to post on a regular basis…
by hezamarie
20 Mar 2009 at 04:56
The way you write, you shoot the lame right out of being a dad.
Here’s to the moments with the ones you love!
hezamaries last blog post..It’s Starkbier-drinking, dirndl-wearing time!
by muskrat
20 Mar 2009 at 07:46
I think I’ve told you this already, but in my office hangs a giant map of the world that’s about six feet wide. I like that I can stand up, put my finger on “Adelaide” and pull it southwest down the peninsula towards Kangaroo Island before sitting back down to finish reading your account of the trip.
Glad you got a break for a bit and that you shared a little of it with us.
muskrats last blog post..what dogs have joined together, let no man put asunder
by sarala
20 Mar 2009 at 08:00
What a gift you were given. I’m a wee bit envious but then it is also nice to have more mature children to see the world with.
My oldest is on a school trip to Spain this week. No mom to share the experience with. Now that is really growing up!
saralas last blog post..Unique Store Front
by Florida Girl In Sydney
20 Mar 2009 at 09:30
While on the brink of booking our own family vacation you remind me of why we need to do it– and how hard vacation can be at the same time!
Florida Girl In Sydneys last blog post..Little boxes on the Hillside, Little boxes made of Tickytacky
by Robn
20 Mar 2009 at 11:10
AMEN!
Robns last blog post..Irony is a Whore
by admin
20 Mar 2009 at 20:31
Angel – We’ve got a spare bed with your name on it. Well, that is, if we find another place to live.
CMGD – I forgot, you know exactly how cute an Aussie possum is!
JK – Wildlife is wildlife. I like raccoons and black bears. And opossums for that matter.
Heza – That’s one of the best compliments I’ve gotten in some time!
Muskrat – I thought that map contained your plans for world domination?
Sarala – I can’t even imagine that far ahead!
FGIS – So far we haven’t had a bad one.
Robn – I have no response to that
by arizaphale
22 Mar 2009 at 09:19
1) ‘before the rain starts in earnest’…bwahahahahaha
2) Research suggests intelligent children discover deceit more quickly….
arizaphales last blog post..Get A Lfife
by The Right Blue
22 Mar 2009 at 14:53
Clearly, the narrative doesn’t have to be linear to qualify as a good travelogue. Sounds like a very worthwhile trip for all of you, kawawoos and all.
The Right Blues last blog post..Collecting Cone Shells: Special Handling Required
by admin
22 Mar 2009 at 21:33
Ariza – That explains a lot about my childhood.
TRB – It was a great one.
by Jill/Twipply Skwood
23 Mar 2009 at 02:02
Oh relaxing or not, that sounds just heavenly!!!!!!!! And so interesting on the jumps he takes & your perspective. I stayed home the first two years with both my kids, so during that time when the growth was by leaps and bounds, it all looked gradual to me. But even now when they’re older and I just spend part of summer break with them, the changes from one year to the next are just amazing.
Jill/Twipply Skwoods last blog post..It turns out that I’m not actually a "team player"
by carrie
23 Mar 2009 at 11:51
something i read in a college primatology class suggested that the ability to lie is what makes humans human.
you have to be able to predict another person’s possible behavior/reaction before the fact and then try to come up with a story that will give you the desired predicted reaction… for instance, how to trick a male primate into letting you have access to his female… by doing something to distract him…. blah blah blah.
anyway… i hope you get my point.
by bluestreak
07 Apr 2009 at 04:01
Beautifully written. Oh, those crisp clear blue skies. No atmosphere mucking it up.
bluestreaks last blog post..Half-assery/sorry Rasslery and an update on the job front