I’m all over the place today – it’s getting to that time of the year when my two jobs converge, meaning that I have two play two roles in an equally half-assed manner. In my role as lecturer, I had to cancel a practical this morning because we couldn’t find any human DNA to use. In a School of Pharmacy and Medicine. So, I scooted over to Pharmaco* to get a jump on my work there only to find that all the work I’d done on the drastically urgent project at the end of last week (and over the weekend) had been superceded by a new drastically urgent project today. I’m protesting by intermittently writing this blog post.
Thus the erratic nature of this post. Rather than trying to force together a coherent narrative, I’m going to address some questions you’ve asked, questions you’ve not asked and things that you probably don’t need to know.
Smoking or lack thereof…
Eight days and counting. Champix does what it says on the tin. I do not want a cigarette. The times that I’ve caved and smoked one, I’ve gotten all the pleasure that I imagine I would get by smoking rolled rat feces. There were some side effects – quite bad nausea, creepy dreams, a nearly overwhelming desire to throttle Dr. O’C for her lack of navigational skills – but they’ve largely passed now. I hate to pimp for Big Pharma, but well done Pfizer.
The house hunt…
We found what I believe to be the most beautiful rental house I’ve ever seen in my many years of renting. It’s almost literally next door to Dr. O’C’s workplace and the hospital where she’ll be giving birth. It’s all wood and glass with fruit trees, a pond and a sea view. A sea view, gentle readers. We’ll hopefully hear ‘yea’ or ‘nay’ by tomorrow. In the interim pray to the baby Jesus, Vishnu, Buddah, Allah or the Flying Spaghetti Monster for us. Sacrifice a virgin or behead a chicken or whatever it takes to get this house for us.
UPDATE: WE GOT IT! Good work on the chip thing, Agnes.
How’s Dr. O’C?
Pregnant. She’s past the morning sickness of the first trimester and is keeping the whinging to a minimum. We’ve got another scan in a couple of weeks, as I’ve just been reminded. She wants a pregnancy widget. I think it’s a bit creepy, but pregnant women get what pregnant women want around here. Thus, if you’ll look to your right – a creepy 3D pregnancy widget.
UPDATE: Creepy 3D widget replaced with Dr. O’C’s (in my opinion equally creepy) widget.
New album, “The Hazards of Love” is out and absolutely fantastic. Easily the best release so far this year and the best Decemberists album thus far. My first ever blog post was a defense of progressive rock and The Decemberists. Colin Meloy and Co must have liked the taste of prog rock on “The Crane Wife” because they’ve gone all the way on this one. It’s a beautifully textured concept album. Meloy has wisely brought in a new female voice – Becky Stark of Lavender Diamond – to play the part of heroine. “The Hazards of Love” is The Decemberists’ “Thick As A Brick” and, yes, that is a very good thing. The album is out today on iTunes, for whom I’ll no longer shill (long story), and will be available tomorrow from Amazon and much of their back catalog is available from eMusic.
A guest has not to thank the host, but host the guest.
I guess all those guest posts I finagled while I was away means that I have to return the favor. I paid Rassles off and my guest post over there will be up today and I’ve got another due at the end of the week for someone else. I kind of have a crush on Rassles (Her writing! Her writing! I don’t even know that she’s really a girl. She could be a guy for all I know. Or a penguin. Hell, I could be a penguin who is stalking some nice Australian family and putting their pictures up on the internet). Where was I? I’ll put a link up when my post goes live. It’s actually one of the best I’ve ever written, and really should be up here, but it’s rated R for drug use and moronic behavior. And my Mom reads this blog. Hi Mom.
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* For fairly obvious reasons, not really the company’s name.
I used ‘thus’ no fewer than three times in this post. Quite pleased with that.
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by Dr O'C
23 Mar 2009 at 16:35
Don’t you think that your mum can just click on the Rassles link to see what you got up to in your misspent young adulthood??
by Dr O'C
23 Mar 2009 at 16:36
I liked the other widget we used for Zach better! Can’t you get that one back??
by Agnes
23 Mar 2009 at 18:07
I think it’s the incessant rotation of the baby that creeps me out.
Top post by the way. I like the erratic nature of it. Hopefully you’ll appreciate the erratic nature of this comment.
Glad to hear things are progressing nicely with baby no. 2. Glad you’re over the worst of the morning sickness Dr O’C!
Good luck with the house too. We have chooks here but we’ve lost a couple recently so I don’t think willingly beheading one of our few remaning chookens will be a very popular act.
Are you familiar with wish chips though? Potato chips that have curled over are wish chips. You place one on your tongue without letting it touch your teeth, close your eyes and make the wish, then crunch. I am prepared to wish upon a wish chip for you. I am even prepared to do it several times – I am nothing if not dedicated.
by kitty
23 Mar 2009 at 19:21
Hey Agnes, I like the wish chip thing. Anything that involves chips is A-OK by me. So I will wish chip for you too. Only I don’t have any chips, but as soon as I finish this comment I’m off up the shops. I wonder if one flavour is luckier than another? I think I shall just have to test this out by buying a variety. Let me know when you get word on the house so I can work out what I was eating. I guess I need a control chip too.
Are you doing a pool on this baby’s name/gender? If so, I want in (aside from my rampant alcoholism and general potty mouth I also have a gambling habit developng nicely)
kittys last blog post..what i did on my weekend
by Angel
23 Mar 2009 at 20:20
I’m glad you aren’t smoking, take pictures of the new house (or at least the coolest parts), I like The Decemberists, and I like Rassles’ blog, too. I’m very happy Dr. O’C is managing well enough, and I’m totally with her on the widget thing. That one freaking creeps me out. I know you can find a cuter one!
Angels last blog post..My Day Off
by SSG
23 Mar 2009 at 20:21
way to go on the house. Is that photo from it? Class. How does all the glass work with a toddler though?
SSGs last blog post..The beginning is always today
by Maureen
23 Mar 2009 at 21:28
Good for you on giving up smoking and congratulations on getting the house (with a sea view – I’m so turning green with envy!).
And another baby – that’s very exciting news! I’m glad Dr. O’C is feeling better – I know how awful morning sickness is.
I agree with you about the pregnancy widget – I think it’s a bit creepy too. A simple countdown ticker would be better – in my opinion anyway.
Maureens last blog post..Happy Mother’s Day!
by Florida Girl In Sydney
23 Mar 2009 at 22:06
On the smoking (or lack thereof)– go you!
On the widget- I feel like I’m watching In the Womb– seen it? I haven’t, but I’m just guessing.
Florida Girl In Sydneys last blog post..Word of the Day
by Jill/Twipply Skwood
23 Mar 2009 at 22:12
Congrats on the house (sounds WONDERFUL!!!!) & the smoking and the no more morning sickness and MOST everything sounds fantastic!!!! Except for the urgent projects and lack of human DNA…
I’ve hear penguins can be kind of mean like that, stalking people, posting their photos to the internet without their permission, that kind of thing. No REALLY! I did hear that some penguins can be mean. At least that’s what Richard Gilewitz claimed when I saw him in concert on Friday…
Yeah, the counter thing is a teeny little bit on the creepy side…
Jill/Twipply Skwoods last blog post..It turns out that I’m not actually a "team player"
by Jill/Twipply Skwood
23 Mar 2009 at 22:16
Because everyone knows who Richard Gilewitz is, of course (a guitar player who happened to play at a venue I like on a night when I was going out. But seriously it was totally related because he really DID talk about penguins & had even written a song dedicated to penguins or about penguins or something. He’s talented btw, but his funny stories in between songs might have been even more entertaining than the guitar playing.
Jill/Twipply Skwoods last blog post..It turns out that I’m not actually a "team player"
by Agnes
23 Mar 2009 at 22:19
There’s a healthy anti-widget protest blooming nicely here I see!
Kitty, I’m glad you’ve jumped on board the wish chip movement. I had not thought of the potentially varying levels of luck to be found in different flavours, and I feel that I too must do my bit to experiment and test this theory. All I’ve managed is Red Rock sour cream and chili chips. It will be interesting to see how well they perform.
by Agnes
23 Mar 2009 at 22:24
Oh good grief! Sorry for the constant commenting, but I just realised that’s not the original widget I saw. This one looks like a microwave or a dryer or something. Way freakier than the first one. But thankfully not as pink.
by admin
23 Mar 2009 at 22:29
Dr. O’C – Wow, the thought never occurred to me that Mom may be able to click a link. Huh.
Widget changed, your wish is my command.
Agnes – Shortly after your comment, the house lady called and gave us the house. I’m a convert, wish chips are the new baby Jesus.
Kitty – I think a pool is a great idea, any suggestions as to it’s format? Winner gets my first born child.
Angel – For the love of wish chips, it’s a fetus. How am I meant to make it cuter? Fetuses aren’t cute that’s why there’s a nine month gestation period – so we don’t throw them away when they’re born.
SSG – There are a lot of steps too. It’s not an ideal kid house. It’s called natural selection.
Maureen – Thanks. The sea view isn’t as exciting as I may have made it out to be. Mostly we see Marion Shopping Mall topped with a corner of sea. But still, a sea view.
FGIS – What in wish chips’ name is ‘In the Womb’?
Jill – I looked at like three blogs in a row today and had no idea what was going on. I am so out of the American pop culture route anymore. So, thanks for the clarification!
Agnes – Mmmm, sour cream and chili – Australia’s contribution to world gastronomy.
by nursemyra
23 Mar 2009 at 22:42
I like the creepy pregnancy widget (and The Decemberists too)
nursemyras last blog post..banana wine knocks you out
by Prefers Her Fantasy Life
23 Mar 2009 at 23:02
Don’t waste your time. Smoking rat feces is overrated.
Glad to hear all is well.
Prefers Her Fantasy Lifes last blog post..Another Damn Thing To Make Me Feel Old
by Cat
23 Mar 2009 at 23:03
You got kicked out of your house thus you had to find a new house thus you found one with a view of the sea thus you are a very lucky man.
Cats last blog post..Cat and Yankee: A Love Story: Quatro Formaggio
by Jacob
23 Mar 2009 at 23:31
First, I find the sentence “In my role as lecturer, I had to cancel a practical this morning because we couldn’t find any human DNA to use,” both creepy and hilarious. Even though I totally understand what you meant (we worked with an experiment in gathering human DNA in my honors history of biology course in college), the first avenue my mind was sent down was more gruesome.
The second avenue was wondering why a man who has supposedly been able to impregnate his wife twice now was unable to procure human DNA. The first avenue was more mad scientist type thoughts.
I love The Decemberists. I’ve used “Yankee Bayonet” in my English class to demonstrate the song lyric poetry project I assign my students every semester. My wife is trying to convince me to use “Mariner’s Revenge Song,” one of my favorites, this semester because of the way that song uses changes in the music to signal changes in setting and speaker. I’m just worried that they’ll get distracted by the weirdness of a pop song about getting eaten by a whale. Tons of literary value in that one, though.
I may have just talked myself into using it. Screw the fact that it’s a nearly 10-minute song.
And I really hope that’s not a live video feed of your fetus. If it is, I’m disturbed by the trouble you went to get and maintain a live video feed and by the fact the baby in the widget keeps smashing into the walls of the womb head first and bouncing off. Doesn’t sound healthy. I always imagined the womb to be a softer place. You should tell Dr. O’C to stop working out so much.
Jacobs last blog post..Spanish Moss Is a Cruel Joke
by Carolyn Online
23 Mar 2009 at 23:42
It took me a good five minutes to figure out what a pregnancy widget was. Ha, and I call myself a blogger.
Also, I LOVE the new rental house. Full of envy here.
Carolyn Onlines last blog post..She’s at it again.
by April
24 Mar 2009 at 00:34
I find your inability to procure human DNA a little baffling. Are cheek swabs illegal these days, too intrusive? How much DNA did you need?
Congrats on the house, I am filled with envy, I have a view of the obnoxious neighbors whose walkway is mere feet from where I lay my head at night. I love urban living.
Glad to hear Dr. O’C is hanging in there. You are right about the pregnant women getting what pregnant women want, you are a very wise man. Your widget is a little different than the one we had, ours wasn’t 3D, just a side view, I have to say the 3D creeps me out a bit too.
Aprils last blog post..When Irish Eyes are Smiling
by arizaphale
24 Mar 2009 at 00:49
“it’s called natural selection”
Good grief. How many teeth do you think that child has left to spare?
Glad you got the house. She didn’t even ring us so you must have made a very good impression.
Not saying anything on the smoking front as I don’t want to jinx it.
arizaphales last blog post..Port Vincent Revisited
by courtney
24 Mar 2009 at 02:18
Gah! Scary baby widget!
But congrats on the house. And good job on the not smoking. And I love The Decemberists. I am full of insightful comments today.
courtneys last blog post..Hold On Tight, Spider Monkey
by Theresa B
24 Mar 2009 at 02:38
The baby widget is beyond creepy. However, I find actual human babies somewhat creepy, and thus my opinion of the widget is likely slightly suspect.
Theresa Bs last blog post..Reason #546 Why I Would Be a Terrible Parent
by Southern (in)Sanity
24 Mar 2009 at 02:59
Congratulations on the house – especially the sea view.
And I agree … that widget is a bit creepy.
by Ryan
24 Mar 2009 at 03:17
Tis late, I agree, but still: congratulations on the baby-making, sir. Love the widget…
Ryans last blog post..
by Jamie
24 Mar 2009 at 03:37
Man that is a nice house! I hope Dr. OC makes you change all the dirty diapers heading your way for saying she was “whinging” about morning sickness.
by chris
24 Mar 2009 at 03:57
Pregnancy widget- love it. Creepy yes but imagine how relieved you’ll be when you actually see the bebe.
Smoking- Well, not smoking, fantastic. In the health quid pro quo, less smoking = more bacon.
The house hunt- congrats, pregger women need a fine nest and being close to home is a life saver for mom of two.
post at rassles-fantastic.
human dna issue? come on, a cup, the internet, problem solvedno?
chriss last blog post..Silly Pink Frou Frou Bebe
by kitty
24 Mar 2009 at 07:15
Is that a different widget to the one that was up last night? Looks a bit like a lava lamp.
When I’ve baby pooled previously contestants contribute an estimated time/date of birth and a name (either just one, or a first and a middle), which obviously covers gender too. We could all be on our honour to send $2 to the winner. Or it could be for the glory. Glory works for most people I think. And you’d get lots of good baby names suggested.
kittys last blog post..what i did on my weekend
by Agnes
24 Mar 2009 at 08:11
Woo hoo!! Congrats! Red Rock sour cream and chili chips everybody – the answer to every prayer.
Red Rock, you will of course now experience a great surge in sales due to my groundbreaking findings. I expect no less than a 50% cut of the of profits, a company convertible and a time share in the Bahamas. I’ll be waiting for your call.
by admin
24 Mar 2009 at 08:16
Nurse – Thanks for the vote of support.
Prefers – Thanks for the warning.
Cat – That’s how life works down here. Pretty good, eh?
Jacob – The Mariner’s Revenge Song would be awesome:
Find him, bind him
Tie him to a pole and break
His fingers to splinters
Drag him to a hole until he
Wakes up naked
Clawing at the ceiling
Of his grave
Sorry, what are you teaching?
Carolyn – I don’t understand 90% of what goes on around me in the blogosphere so don’t worry too much.
April – We were doing BRCA screening, so I didn’t feel ethically comfortable asking them to donate their own DNA for the prac. Some of the may not have wanted to know, and may not have been comfortable enough to say no. Dude, I know where to get human DNA. I can get you a toe if you want.
Ariza – Why do you think the Wish Chip designed baby teeth? You can lose a few here or there and still look OK by the time you hit puberty.
Courtney – As usual.
Theresa – What about non-human babies?
SIS – If I read the words pregnancy widget one more time I’m going to scream.
Ryan – ARRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHH!!!
Jamie – We call then ‘nappies’ in the Southern Hemisphere. And I already change most of them while Dr. O’C is on the sofa eating bon bons.
Chris – Mmmmm, bacon.
Kitty – Yes, was forced to change it. Pool sounds good, we’ll give it a go later in the year.
by maggie, dammit
24 Mar 2009 at 11:43
Congrats on the new place! Man oh man…. beautiful new rentals and babies and gorgeous Australia and an uncanny ability to call up almost any song lyric ever penned at a moment’s notice…. I’m thinking it’s good to be you. So glad all is well, even if it’s stressful. I find, for me, those are the sweetest times.
maggie, dammits last blog post..Why I’m not much better than an Internet troll (but I’m trying.)
by Dr O'C
24 Mar 2009 at 11:52
Can I enter the pool? I would like to place a bet on a girls baby name.
I fear that AFM is trying to provoke a reaction out of me given his bon bon comment and nappy changing comment and whinging comment. I would just like all his loyal readers to know that he will be punished later for these comments. Dr O’C don’t forget nothing!
by admin
24 Mar 2009 at 13:23
Nor does she care nothing about no grammar.
by chris
24 Mar 2009 at 14:25
I chose Harper for my youngest daughter’s middle name, still love it. Nelle Harper Lee, To Kill A Mockingbird, best book ever to my young self-the name stuck with me. Husband was iffy for it for a first name but gave the go-ahead on the middle name. We both agreed if it was a girl, I got to pick but he got power of veto. I thought that was only fair given that most of the girls I know have been thinking about baby names since they were in like 5th grade.
chriss last blog post..An Ode to Thighs
by runsdeep
24 Mar 2009 at 15:29
Can you find a widget that shows the baby growing over time (rather than incessantly spinning in some kind of spooky 2001: A Space Odyssey way)? With 156 days to go (wassat, 5 months) would he/she/it be so developed?
by runsdeep
24 Mar 2009 at 15:30
Correction, 157 days to go. I wouldn’t want the poor sprog to be 1 day premature.
by admin
24 Mar 2009 at 15:37
I believe that it is supposed to represent it’s current morphology and it does grow over time. For a 17 week fetus to compare to, if you’re so inclined: http://www.babycenter.com.au/pregnancy/fetaldevelopment/17weeks/
Pretty close. I don’t know about the damn spinning though.
by flutter
24 Mar 2009 at 16:26
and thus, you are badass.
by April
25 Mar 2009 at 13:17
Um, I’ll pass on the toe, thanks for the offer though, I think.
Why not just use your DNA? You’re a dude and the chances of you coming down with breast cancer are quite slim, and as far as I know they haven’t linked BRCA to male breast cancer anyway, but I guess then you wouldn’t have a positive control for the presence of the mutation, damn scientific method.
Aprils last blog post..When Irish Eyes are Smiling
by admin
25 Mar 2009 at 13:23
But what if my impending child is a girl? Do I want to know whether or not I’m carrying an unwelcome genetic gift?
by Joe @ Irrational Dad
25 Mar 2009 at 13:29
Congrats on the “no smoking” front. I hope it goes equally well when you start weaning off the Champix.
17 weeks… time flies when it’s not you. Seems like you just broke the news to us last week.
Joe @ Irrational Dads last blog post..Tides
by NATUI
25 Mar 2009 at 14:12
Congrats on the new digs. Anyone who finds a better rental always deserves a clap on the back. As for the creepy preggo widget, good god. That format with the pickled-baby-in-a-jar look always creeped me the fuck out. I just used a ticker.
NATUIs last blog post..Ditch the Diapers, NATUI-style
by headbang8
26 Mar 2009 at 00:18
No human DNA? All you need is a dirty magazine and a hanky.
I’m assuming that you’ll be tucked into that little nook of a ‘burb called Bedford Park–which I always thought was an under-rated bit of Adelaide. And the wood and glass stuff suggests a 70’s house. An under-rated architectural style. Well done.
headbang8s last blog post..Wordless Wednesday
by Coal Miner's Granddaughter
26 Mar 2009 at 04:57
Glad you’re quitting the cancer sticks, excited about your house, and ecstatic about the newest offspring of A Free Man and Dr. O’C.
Hee hee!
Coal Miner’s Granddaughters last blog post..Don’t Do As I Do. Really.
by Gypsy
02 Apr 2009 at 00:18
Congrats on the house!
Gypsys last blog post..Just another beginning
by bluestreak
07 Apr 2009 at 04:14
I have a crush on Rassles too.
I’m glad the quitting is going well. I’m going on a month ciggy free, cold turkey and it hasn’t been easy (I had supposedly quit before, but that didn’t really work out as planned). I don’t really notice feeling better, per se, it’s just every once in awhile I realize I no longer feel angry at myself for not being able to quit, and I like that.
Will you send some lucky housing dust my way? Well, we aren’t actively looking, we’re taking a break cause it got to be too frustrating and I’m trying to feel comfortable with where I am. Oh, while you’re at it, send some baby dust too.
yup.
bluestreaks last blog post..Half-assery/sorry Rasslery and an update on the job front
by velocibadgergirl
09 Apr 2009 at 13:45
Holy crap, if you say it’s the best Decemberists album, that means it has to be amazing. I must track down a copy ASAP!
Good luck with quitting…I respect you a lot for taking the first step.
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