This post is Part 2 of a story I started yesterday. I can’t tell you what to do, but you’d be advised to read the first part first.
I’ve been going over the end of this story in my mind since last night and I realized that I stepped into a trap of my own design. I’m setting up Zelda as a femme fatale, which she absolutely was, but I’m not going to come off well myself without some major historical revision. I like to keep these things as close to reality as my memory allows, which probably isn’t that close.
Before carrying on, there are some details to address. During the months of Zelda’s absence I had moved out of the four square into the gun cottage – I don’t know how she found out where I was living. At the haranguing of my friends, I had begun to ‘get over it’. I started dating again, using my coffee shop job as a personal dating agency. At the time of her unannounced return, in fact, I was dating a 19 year old sorority girl from South Carolina who looked and sounded a lot like Zelda without all the mystery, misery and annoying tendency to vanish.
I was bored.
But when Zelda turned up that night on my porch, I was a wiser man. I wasn’t going to be sucked back into a disastrous relationship. I would have that proffered drink (who was I to say no to a drink?) but that was it.
Let me quote from my diary at the time…
Back in my life, my bed, my heart is [Zelda]. Tall and beautiful and cold, she’s found a way to open my heart again. On a balmy winter night my bourbon soaked mind broke apart and gushed into her listening ears. So far, she’s been sweet. Her cold steel eyes are soft and inviting. She’s sane and easy.
I made her breakfast in bed the next morning. But still, I didn’t want to give up a healthy, albeit dull, relationship with a robust young South Carolinian for what I knew (somewhere in my reptile brain) was going to be pain and melodrama. Instead, I decided not to tell them about each other.
This was a manageable arrangement for a while. With Zelda, I went to gay bars and smoky basement clubs. With the sorority girl I went to formals and tailgates. There was never any reason for paths to cross. It went this way all through the winter and early spring – dating two girls, having my cake and eating it too.
There were moments – when my razor-sharp brain forgot which night I was meant to be with which girl. There was a Saturday lunch with Zelda, some friends and vodka martinis that got way out of hand. We stumbled back to my place at about in the afternoon and collapsed into bed. There was a niggling memory in the back of my brain that the sorority girl was coming over for dinner and I couldn’t quite remember whether or not I had run interference of some sort. Zelda was out cold and I was…
I came to early Sunday morning with the crucifying headache that can only be caused by six or more martinis and a sense of something ominous in the room. I looked over and saw a tangled mess of curly mahogany hair, which could mean one of two women. A gently shove, a soft moan and I saw the softer features of the sorority girl. To this day, I don’t know where Zelda went or when. I guess that habit of vanishing wasn’t all bad after all.
All through these months, my friends were spending equal amounts of time laughing at my stories and warning me that it was an unsustainable situation. They all said the same thing – get rid of Zelda.
‘Are you still dating that crazy bitch from south Georgia?’
‘She’s just using you for a good time for a while, she’ll be gone again in a few months.’
‘What does she do, Chris? She doesn’t have a job. She doesn’t go to school. She just spends your money.’
As the spring got older, I was getting tired. I was at UGa full time, working full time and holding down two relationships. So, I finally made a decision.
I broke up with the sorority girl and invited Zelda to Florida for Spring Break. She was thrilled – a real vacation and for a while things were good. We started intermittently co-habitating – she moved clothes and makeup and that White Diamonds into my cottage.
After this decision, I was talking to a friend – a sweet little punk pixie from Savannah – who rang me up asking if I wanted to go out in Atlanta that night.I said no, that “I need to save momey for Florida. I need more than usual, because of Zelda and all.”
“No wonder she likes hanging out with you, Chris”, she spat back at me and rung off.
A week before the trip, on a Friday night, she wanted to go dance at the gay bar. I didn’t. The gay bar wasn’t that interesting to me. But I indulged the request and we were away. I sat at the bar drinking poofy drinks and watched Zelda dance with the queens. About 2, I was ready to go home. But Zelda wanted to go to an after party.
‘Just for a bit’, she soothed.
It had been a hellish week – exams, overtime at work and I demurred. “But, you’ll come back to my place after. Right.”
She kissed me deeply, gave me the full brunt of her cold grey eyes and said, “Just give me an hour and I’m all yours.”
I sat up drinking expectantly for an hour. Then drinking worriedly for another hour. Finally, I drank angrily until the sun came up. I threw all of her clothes and makeup into a garbage bag and put it at the end of my drive.
I was awoken at noon by the sound of broken glass and screaming. Zelda was systematically smashing my windows with a tire iron and screaming obscenities. I suggested that she fuck off and not come back. She expressed that she was perfectly fine with that and – breaking one last window on the way – fucked off.
By nightfall, she was back – composed and bearing a full bottle of Maker’s Mark, some clear plastic sheeting, a roll of duct tape and a bucketful of abashed contrition.
We went to Florida anyway. Me seething resentment through endless miles of south Georgia. Her sleeping. We took the long way down, stopping in Albany for a night to pick up camping gear from her mother’s house. I had visions, largely painted by Zelda, of a southern manor – all stately oaks and Greek columns. Her Mom lived in a double-wide on a half acre pine thicket outside of Albany. She chain smoked Virginia Slims, washed down Valium with Old Crow and spoke of lost beaus and phantom illnesses. Looking at her, I saw Zelda in a couple of decades and the artifice of the relationship that I had created.
We camped on St. George Island for a couple of days and then skirted the swampy armpit of Florida on the way down to Ybor City. By the time we arrived, I was done with the trip. I’d been driving for three days without any help from my passenger. She spent most of her time sleeping or bitching and I spent most of my time drinking and driving. Somewhere along that drive I had an epiphany. Again, from my diary at the time…
After meeting her Mom, I can’t fathom a long term relationship with [Zelda]. After this trip, I can’t imagine much of a short term.
I’ve never been very good at breaking up with people. That night in Ybor City we scored some coke, which she didn’t want to do, and hit the bars. Out of my mind on cocaine and rum punch, I decided that what was good for the goose was good for the gander. That night, I treated her the way that I perceived she had treated me throughout our intermittent relationship. I was cold. I flirted with other women. I danced half the night with a Cuban woman that couldn’t speak any English. When Zelda was ready to go, I tossed her a rolled twenty and told her to take a cab.
The trip back was even longer and dead silent. I pulled an all day drive and got us back to Athens just before midnight. She fell asleep on my couch as soon as we walked in the door and I left her there and went to bed.
The next morning, she and all her meager belongings were gone. Except for a note, scrawled in her manic, looping script.
“I know you don’t believe it, but I loved you. As much as I could.”
I crumpled up the paper and threw it in the trash.
That wasn’t enough then and it’s never been enough since.
————————–
Image credits:
Femme Fatale I, II and III are by Karen Dupré. Images from art.com.
R.E.M.’s “Chronic Town/Dead Letter Office” is available from Amazon.
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by Little boy, she’s from the street | A Free Man
25 Mar 2009 at 18:26
[...] Now, I hate to be all “The Bold and the Beautiful” on you, but this post seems to have grown legs of its own. Nothing’s worse than reading a 10,000 word blog post. Instead, I’m going to employ that coldest of writerly tricks – ‘to be continued’. UPDATE: Continued here. [...]
by Agnes
25 Mar 2009 at 21:35
Wow.
by SSG
25 Mar 2009 at 22:19
Dude, you gotta fucking write a memoir.
Love the stories, you’re turning into some author arty type when really I know you used to work with ferns and watch football. American football.
And fight birds.
by SSG
25 Mar 2009 at 22:21
and, what is with the diary entries?
Did you know later some how they’d be publically aired?
by Nichole
25 Mar 2009 at 23:26
I’m so glad you found Dr. O’C. Sounds like she’s been good for you.
Nicholes last blog post..Dreams and idle threats
by Cat
25 Mar 2009 at 23:36
To say you’ve lived a full life, one must have had a Zelda or her male counterpart in my case. Just be thankful you got off as easily as you did. And be thankful you found the Dr.
Cats last blog post..I’m on Vacation
by Jud
26 Mar 2009 at 00:09
Well Chris, who the hell is good at breaking up with people? I have never met them. It also sounds like she was as honest as she knew how to be.
Sadly I think there are a lot of Zeldas out there, of both genders, who are really strangers to love.
Juds last blog post..Jud’s Rules to Live By: Part 14
by chris
26 Mar 2009 at 01:49
Not that I think you don’t fully realize this, but you are soooo lucky to have found the Doc. My husband is a nice guy, a good guy and certainly the saner of the two of us. Had I not dated my share of nutburgers, I don’t think I would fully appreciate his value.
That’s why I can never really regret the past, because I love the present and I do think they go hand in hand.
chriss last blog post..Hot Catholic School Girls Tear into Lifesize Zac Efron Pinata
by April
26 Mar 2009 at 02:06
I admire your ability to put yourself out there in posts like this. A revisionist memory is a hard thing to avoid. The truth seems much more interesting than what you might want to say to save face. I guess you can’t make up stories this good.
Aprils last blog post..When Irish Eyes are Smiling
by courtney
26 Mar 2009 at 02:54
I feel like such a goody-goody when I read your stories.
I loved this one, though. I picture you reading it in a smoky bar with a jazz band playing softly in the background.
courtneys last blog post..Hold On Tight, Spider Monkey
by SSG
26 Mar 2009 at 03:24
i really want bourbon now
SSGs last blog post..Sun is shining, the weather is sweet, yeah
by Here In Franklin
26 Mar 2009 at 05:05
Wonder how it would’ve ended if the very same mama had been in the house with the columns instead of the trailor park? And how the hell did she afford all the Makers Mark? That stuff’s expensive!
Here In Franklins last blog post..Green Schmeen
by Coal Miner's Granddaughter
26 Mar 2009 at 05:13
Wow. Just finished both parts. Wow.
Amazing story. You need to give up science for lit. Seriously.
Coal Miner’s Granddaughters last blog post..Don’t Do As I Do. Really.
by NATUI
26 Mar 2009 at 05:30
Part 3 is going to be that you found her on Facebook and she is the multi-million dollar CEO of some basement company she created inspired by the the demise of your relationship. Ain’t life a kick in the head.
To echo Nichole, I’m so glad you found Dr. O’C. It’s the crazy shit that we live through that makes us hang on to our present. And savor it.
NATUIs last blog post..Second to All But Just As Loved
by admin
26 Mar 2009 at 08:35
SSG – To write a memoir, I think you kind of have to be an interesting public figure. I’m just a fern growing bird fighter.
Nichole – Me too.
Cat – I don’t know if that’s necessarily true. I think some people figure it out without going through all the drama and pain.
Jud – I’m pretty sure you’re right.
Chris – Ditto. Dan Savage always says that no relationship works until one does. Some people are lucky and find that relationship early on. And then there are us, who have to go through all kinds of shitty relationships until you find one in which it just clicks. Very grateful for finding mine.
April – In a lot of ways it doesn’t seem that personal because I’m not that person anymore. It’s more like fiction.
Courtney – I’m sure you have your skeletons.
SSG – Why, so you can act all crazy with your guy?
HIF – That’s a good point. Ultimately, it would have ended. It was unsustainable, but if she were slightly more grounded in some kind of reality, it probably would have gone on for longer – to the detriment of both of us.
CMGD – I don’t think they’re mutually exclusive.
NATUI – Nope, part 3 is going to be how I met a beautiful Irish woman at a party and fell in love for real.
I don’t have a clue what happened to this particular gal. As I mentioned, her surname is common and even if I wanted to find her I doubt if I would. I, and I’m not being mean here just realistic, suspect that she ended up a lot like her Mom.
by cIII
26 Mar 2009 at 11:52
Thanks for stopping by, Friend. Nice to meet you.
I enjoyed reading your work very Much. Makes me reach for the Scotch.
M sister-in-Law is from Adelaide. I hear it’s incredibly Beautiful and bloody hot.
cIIIs last blog post..Invisible Monsters
by Jacob
26 Mar 2009 at 12:21
I’ve always said that the only reason that I could never make it as a great writer is because of my horribly functional family growing up and my lack of self-inflicted pain. I haven’t seen anything to suggest that your childhood wasn’t idyllic (maybe it was horrible, but I haven’t read about it), but your self-inflicted pain sure makes for some great stories.
Of course it doesn’t hurt that you embarrass me with the writing skills as well. Great story and well written.
by Ginny
26 Mar 2009 at 14:50
Sigh. Oh, Zelda. There was really no other way for it to end, was there? (OK, I actually wouldn’t have been surprised if she’d ended up dead. The whole thing just had that vibe.)
Loved these 2 posts.
Ginnys last blog post..So Long, Suckers
by Katie Lauren
26 Mar 2009 at 16:10
Came home from work excited that you might have part 2. Realized that wasn’t practical, thinking, the chances of back to back post in the blogsphere is about nonexistent. Drank some wine, worked on some shit… checked just to see and there it was before my overly tired eyes part 2. I will have to wake up early before work to read this with non “wine eyes” because part one was too good, and I know part two wont be worth wasting on a fermenting brain: )
Katie Laurens last blog post..The week that never stopped giving
by Theresa B
26 Mar 2009 at 17:11
My life has never had this sort of drama. I blame it on the lack of drugs. I’ll be shooting up (or whatever it is that the cool kids do now) tomorrow in an attempt to rectify that situation.
Theresa Bs last blog post..Reason #546 Why I Would Be a Terrible Parent
by Angel
26 Mar 2009 at 20:42
Wow. Oh wow. I’m ten minutes late waking up the tribe, and it was worth it to get both of these posts read. What a great story. Isn’t it amazing how we can paint people to be just exactly what we want them to be even with them right in front of us? For a while, anyway. Then we see the light, and it hurts. I do wonder what happened to her, though. Like you, I probably wouldn’t have looked even if I knew where to begin. Maybe she found her way. Who knows.
Great posts.
Angels last blog post..I love your comments. They make me happy.
by Joe
26 Mar 2009 at 21:17
Bravo *applause*
Great story Chris. I’m running a bit late for work now and haven’t even had time to read the comments here, but no complaints.
Joes last blog post..He Has a Future in Lawn Maintenance
by SSG
26 Mar 2009 at 22:48
dude, i don’t need any excuse to act crazy
SSGs last blog post..Strange dreams
by Southern (in)Sanity
27 Mar 2009 at 03:21
Well, I hate that it took such an extreme situation for you to see what was to come with Zelda, but better before than after a serious commitment.
I think you’re right. She was destined to be her mother.
by Jill/Twipply Skwood
27 Mar 2009 at 09:19
Oh, that’s such a sad ending. I mean, a story like that has to have a sad ending I guess, but the note is so sad.
I have heard that if you want to find out how it would be to be married to a woman, make sure and meet her mother. And I’ve also heard that if you want to know if you’d like being married to a guy, check out how he treats his mother.
Jill/Twipply Skwoods last blog post..It turns out that I’m not actually a "team player"
by yellojkt
27 Mar 2009 at 12:58
That is one of the greatest stories I have ever read.
Worthy of F. Scott himself.
yellojkts last blog post..NKKKK: Best Bear
by heather
27 Mar 2009 at 14:11
Hold the phone. As a woman struggling to live outside of the shadow of her mother’s life, I hope that we do not all share that fate.
I also married a man that is very different than my father.
heathers last blog post..Published!
by arizaphale
29 Mar 2009 at 09:07
“So, I finally made a decision…..
I broke up with the sorority girl ”
hahahahahahahahaha. Sorry, that cracked me up.
——————————————-
I have rethought my previous comment and decided that actually, I used to be you. Also disturbing.
arizaphales last blog post..So This Is Where All My Ex Pupils End Up
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30 Mar 2009 at 13:16
[...] to subscribe to the RSS feed for updates on this topic.Powered by WP Greet BoxA Free Man Report: Click here to go to AFM to check REM’s cover of the Velvet Underground “Femme [...]
by Gypsy
02 Apr 2009 at 00:33
I kind of think all men should have a Zelda in their past. And I kind of wish I were more of a Zelda. Sometimes.
Loved this.
Gypsys last blog post..Just another beginning
by bluestreak
08 Apr 2009 at 03:33
I absolutely loved this story. What a generous peak you allowed us into your past.
bluestreaks last blog post..Half-assery/sorry Rasslery and an update on the job front
by Muskrat
08 Apr 2009 at 11:57
Dang, dude. I juggled 3 for a bit after undergrad, but not nearly as well (ie, as frequently or for as long) as you did!
Great storytelling here. Is it “storytelling” when it’s true? VH-1 seems to think so, so I’m going to agree.
Muskrats last blog post..it is finished
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by Beachcomber | A Free Man
23 Apr 2009 at 22:18
[...] demonym, I can’t take credit for something so clever) was enchanted by my ‘literary quality‘ posts of a wee while back and is demanding more. Two problems. One, I only have a limited [...]