I had planned to continue with the politically charged posts today, based in part as a response to Damon’s comment from yesterday. But I’ve still no internet at home and upon my arrival at work discovered a steaming pile of crap that needed to be dealt with yesterday. So, it’s a Moon Pie day – sweet and fluffy.
It may surprise you to hear that I’m not really a man’s man. I don’t know how to fix a car or mend a hole in the drywall or build a chest of drawers (though I’m a whiz at assembling Ikea furniture). I’ve never been much for locker room banter or male bonding and most of my good friends are women. And sports, I’ve never been good at sports. I love watching them – must get me some man points – but anything involving a ball tends to turn out disastrously for me.
This is one of the reasons that I fruitlessly hoped for a girl during Dr. O’C’s first pregnancy and am openly hoping for a girl again this time around. I don’t feel butch enough to guide a son through the gauntlet of boyhood. I mean, I have some useful skills. I can hand pollinate corn. I can quote song lyrics at the drop of a hat. I can remove a brassiere one handed. But just what the hell am I going to do when he asks me to build him a treehouse? What am I meant to do when he asks me to explain the internal combustion engine? And for the love of god, what do I do when he asks me to show him how to bowl a yorker?
These things are of concern to me, because Boy Z is living up to his moniker. He’s a boy’s boy. He’s rough and tumble. He’d rather wrestle than cuddle. He spends a fair bit of time fascinated by his own todger.
And, basically since birth, he’s been obsessed with balls (rubber balls you deviants). Dr. O’C is no more an sportswoman than I, so he’s got no genetic predisposition to athleticism, but if the amount of time he spends throwing, kicking, carrying or battering balls is any indication then we’ve got a future jock on our hands.
And as you can see from the photo at the opening of this post, Boy Z has some mad skills.
(And yes – as the perceptive Kitty picked up last week – “this blog, which parades itself as witty social commentary with über street cool musical references with a touch of science show-off-ery is just an excuse for (me)to post pictures of Boy Z…”)
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by suzer
16 Apr 2009 at 17:43
Perhaps my car building petrol head husband can provide some assistance…he’s good with the bbq and turntables as well;)
suzers last blog post..In the Grand ‘Ole English Tradition
by SSG
16 Apr 2009 at 19:25
dude, don’t you know how internal combustion works? Just buy him some good books. And take him to museums about trucks and trains and ships and stuff. And get him into a sports club, you gotta start ‘em young. And it helps him channel energy and all that…
there must be “cricket for the under 5s” or something?
SSGs last blog post..Finish the sentence…
by kitty
16 Apr 2009 at 19:58
1. I’m sure IKEA sell tree houses
2. No one really understands the workings of an internal combustion engine
3. The cricket coach will show him the yorker
4. Glad you’re paying attention.
However, I suspect this post is not only and excuse to post a picture of Boy Z, but also to parade the fact that I think this blog is full of witty social commentary with über street cool musical references with a touch of science show-off-ery.
Well done
kittys last blog post..another really short post
by arizaphale
16 Apr 2009 at 20:33
Hey! ‘Moon Pie’ is a ‘Wagon Wheel’!!! (or equivalent thereof). Waddayaknow!
I can attest to Boy Z’s fascination with balls…hem hem. At a picnic recently he was unable to eat or drink anything which was not hand fed to him as he point blank refused to let go of the two (rubber) balls he was clutching. Don’t worry AFM, just keep encouraging him and he will not realise until he is 14 that you have no clue with a ball. By then the school cricket coach will have him in hand.
As for internal combustion don’t feel too bad, Himself, a real man’s man, would have no more clue about combustion engines than you. As evidenced by our recently deceased Jeep >:-(
BTW:You think this Y chromosone lament is sweet and fluffy???
by Angel
16 Apr 2009 at 20:45
Yes yes! I must agree about the coach thing. Just make sure he always has good coaches. It’s probably better this way, anyway. If you took your love of watching sports and combined it with a man’s man attitude, you’d probably get one of those snotty dads who push their sons into steroids just to live up to your expectations.
I’m the one who fixes everything around our house. He even sucks at the IKEA stuff.
Angels last blog post.."I would love to coach there someday… " (but I’m not wearing those damn flipflops)
by Joe @ IrrationalDad
16 Apr 2009 at 23:36
Sounds like you need to get your hands on “The Dangerous Book for Boys” which I JUST got for my birthday last week.
by Jacob
16 Apr 2009 at 23:40
I’m not much of a man myself. I can’t fix squat and I’m neither aggressive nor really that competitive. However, I can teach Evan tennis and football (the American one). I’ve never been an exceptional athlete (or even really good), but I’ve always been competant in areas of technique and form.
And Z won’t realize you’re a loser until it doesn’t matter anyway.
by Teri
17 Apr 2009 at 00:40
We have 2 girls. My husband was glad, for similar type of anxiety, though he does have some manly traits of being a fixer and a woodworker. Your boy will be great! Z will find coaches in his life for the areas he excells in–if they’re outside of your area of expertise.
Side note: My cousin Ryan, now 18, grew up with his father, who is not a man’s man in the slightest (in the sense that he doesn’t have a mechanical mind). In spite of this, Ryan is quite skilled with fixing machines. His granfather taught him a bunch of stuff. He naturally gravitated there, in spite of home training (or lack thereof). I think kids come out of the package wired a certain way. Z will find his path. And he may end up being more like you than you think at the moment.
You have a great blog. Fun to read.
Teris last blog post..Baptismal Pictures
by chris
17 Apr 2009 at 01:35
The good thing is Z’s interest in sports gives you kind of a second chance to learn some of the stuff without the competitive pressures of childhood. I remember in like 3rd grade just hating gym class kickball day because I sucked hard and felt bad for any team stuck with me. The reality is I have at least some athletic ability but my head gets in the way. You don’t want to live vicariously through your children too much but a little is ok, so maybe you get your sport moments from Z. As for the other man info–there’s always Wikipedia.
My hubs has more woman friends, cooks, helps with housework and absolutely splits the childrearing with me. I’m glad my son has him as an example because these are the skills he’ll need someday.
As for the girl stuff, I hope you guys get a girl to because they are soooo fun.
chriss last blog post..Easter Phony
by Southern (in)Sanity
17 Apr 2009 at 02:12
As long as you can teach him how to remove a brassiere one-handed, he’ll be fine.
Don’t worry about the rest.
by courtney
17 Apr 2009 at 02:39
Spending a fair bit of time fascinated with one’s own todger — correct me if I’m wrong, but isn’t that something all boys do, regardless of athletic prowess?
And what the hell is “bowling a yorker?” (The link is broken, unless it’s just being blocked by my work computer.)
courtneys last blog post..I Want To Punch Quentin Tarantino In The Mouth
by headbang8
17 Apr 2009 at 02:42
@ SSG. Cricket and channeling energy? Hmmm. Who called cricket “organised loafing”?
@ AFM. Let me take you to a gay bar some time. Ten bucks says they pick you as a nancy bottom.
headbang8s last blog post..Interview 2009. My Best Straight Male Friend.
by NATUI
17 Apr 2009 at 02:46
There are drawbacks to girls, believe me. My pacifist husband’s first comment when we knew we were having a girl was the need to buy a shotgun and build a front porch. If you are so lucky to have a daughter, I cannot wait for these revelations. 134 days to go! WooHoo!
NATUIs last blog post..Birthday Party Ken
by Brittany (He Cooks She Cooks)
17 Apr 2009 at 04:07
I’m going to see G. Love tonight at the Blue Note!
Brittany (He Cooks She Cooks)s last blog post..Balsamic Vinaigrette with Garlic and Basil
by mickey
17 Apr 2009 at 05:13
Don’t sweat it, man. If you can pass on your one-handed bra-unsnapping, the kid will be indebted for life.
mickeys last blog post..We’re there!
by The Unbearable Banishment
17 Apr 2009 at 07:55
Me too, brother! And I’m not proud of it, either. Do you know what I keep in my toolbox? A tube of Krazy Glue and a checkbook. If I can’t fix it with one, I use the other. Sometimes I have to check between my legs to see if my gender has been fucked with behind my back. It’s a good thing I had daughters.
The Unbearable Banishments last blog post..random nyc pic
by Dr O'C
17 Apr 2009 at 09:28
I can always be the one to teach him how to fix a hole in the wall:) You can teach him how to cook (and maybe me whilst you are at it!)
by Prefers Her Fantasy Life
17 Apr 2009 at 10:39
Don’t worry about balls and treehouses–just put a couple of drumsticks in his hands.
As for your search for a reasonable voice on the right, it ain’t gonna happen.
I read Damon’s comments, and all I can say is when everyone does better, when everyone has opportunities for healthcare and education, our society as a whole does better. Our streets are safer and our communities are healthier.
And speaking of “the common good,” I have a link on my blog post to a short clip my friend narrates about a shut-down factory in Michigan. You might like it.
Prefers Her Fantasy Lifes last blog post..How My Friend Cooper The Union Carpenter Outdid Himself (and me)
by yellojkt
17 Apr 2009 at 13:04
You don’t need to be a jock to raise a boy. My son turned out to be quite the nerd. The apple doesn’t fall far from the tree.
yellojkts last blog post..Venice -Then and Now
by admin
17 Apr 2009 at 16:57
Suzer – I’ll need it.
SSG – They’ve got cricket for under 2’s. That’s why Australia always beats England.
Kitty – WHoa, you’re throwing me a curve with that one!
Will reply to the rest of you later. Time to go home. Thank Christ!
by headbang8
17 Apr 2009 at 17:13
Small-c christ, I imagine.
headbang8s last blog post..Interview 2009. My Best Straight Male Friend.
by Jill/Twipply Skwood
18 Apr 2009 at 11:51
You know, my guy (that knows a song about a chicken) said the EXACT same thing to me about not really being a man’s man. And yet, he’s managed to steer my boy quite well in the year and a half. In fact, I think he steers my boy BETTER because he knows the hard road it is to fit in as a male.
I kind of have this idea that what not “being a man’s man” really means is having been given a hard time by other “men” (boys). Or something. Regardless, I choose to be with my guy for lots of reasons and one of them is the wonderful role model he is for my kids, “man’s man” or not. My point is, you care and are good to Boy Z, great to him. Whether or not you can toss a ball is such small peas comparatively.
As a total side note, my gal ADORED balls during her toddler and preschool years. Loved basketballs and bouncy balls and tennis balls and racquetballs way more than my boy even cared for them at that age. Now you couldn’t pay her to go near them. For whatever that’s worth, you just never can tell.
Last but not least, guess I was wrong about the internet access! I can’t keep up either way…
Jill/Twipply Skwoods last blog post..Because my Car Registration Sticker DESERVES to be Showered in Affection…
by Jill/Twipply Skwood
18 Apr 2009 at 11:52
“in the year and a half we’ve been together” that should have read in that first paragraph. Oh well.
Jill/Twipply Skwoods last blog post..Because my Car Registration Sticker DESERVES to be Showered in Affection…
by mjrc
19 Apr 2009 at 05:07
my youngest, who is a girl, is a total tomboy. LOVES the philadelphia eagles, just got a basketball and is learning to shoot hoops, skateboards, races in soap box derby races–all things her older brother wants nothing to do with!
you just never can tell how they’ll turn out. i firmly believe that most of it is hard-wired and your personal inclinations and disinclinations aren’t nearly as important to the end product.
you can, however, support them and encourage them to follow their interests and abilities, no matter what they are, which can also turn into a fun learning experience for you if they happen to diverge from your own.
mjrcs last blog post..Record Store Day Is April 18th and I’m Going to See Flight of the Conchords
by Florida Girl In Sydney
21 Apr 2009 at 16:32
Now I know we’ve got to meet up, you sound just like my husband.
Florida Girl In Sydneys last blog post..Sand Dunes and Beaches and Bowling, oh my.