If you’re small and on a search I’ve got a feeder for you to perch on

21 Apr 2009 at 23:08

A Free Man

Day 1 of voluntary underemployment.

Number of cigarettes smoked: Remarkably, zero.
Number of times threatening son with bodily harm: Seventy hundred
General mental state: Huh?

I know I’ve said it before and I’m sure I’ll say it again – you ladies (and gentlemen, pardon me) who spend more time at home with kids than at work have got my respect. I don’t know how you do it and maintain anything resembling sanity or the capacity to form a cogent sentence.

I only had half a day with my tiny toddling terrorist and I don’t have a cogent sentence in me. And I’ve got a full day tomorrow.

But I like birds.

Speaking of the trials and tribulations of stay-at-home parents, some of you may have noticed that I was reviewed by Ask And You Shall Receive - a site that is notoriously hard on stay-at-home-mommy blogs. But, with a couple of exceptions, they tend to be pretty constructively critical, if ruthlessly so. I wanted some real criticism, unbiased by ‘friendship’ or whatever it is that brings people back here. Some of you also may know that I’ve moonlighted over there under a nom de plume, so I wasn’t sure that I would get an objective review. I think I did.

Some of the things the reviewer pointed out I can’t do anything about. I am an academic. As I’m learning while I try to navigate the world outside of the ivory towers – once an academic, always an academic. As for the digressions, mind wandering and eclecticism, that’s just me.

But I could use a refresher course on English grammar. And I could be a bit more brutal with the red pen. This post would have been a good place to start. If I’m struggling to write a cogent sentence, however, I doubt if I’d be able to edit one.

But I like birds.

emu

chasing-duck

feeding-birds

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The Eels scored the soundtrack of my day today,check out “Meet the Eels – Essential Eels, Vol. 1 (1996-2006)” at .

By the way, if you’re up for some potentially merciless criticism, submit your blog to Ask And You Shall Receive here.

The Eels "I Like Birds": Play Now | Play in Popup | Download

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33 Comments

by SSG

22 Apr 2009 at 00:42

I thought you were waging a war against them? Why the sudden about-turn?
by Theresa B

22 Apr 2009 at 01:28

Hm. Maybe someday I’ll understand why I would want merciless criticism on my blog. That will probably be about the time that I finally grow up, pay my bills on time, dress my age (hey, the Cookie Monster shirt is just fine for work…), and lose my “baby fat”.

(Okay, I do sort of understand why objective criticism would be good, but it all depends on your reason for writing a blog. For me, right now, it’s mostly a way of giving myself deadlines and telling the inner editor to sit down and shut up. Deliberately courting outside criticism would defeat the purpose.)

Theresa Bs last blog post..Lessons from the Large Animal Crowd
by Gwen Jackson

22 Apr 2009 at 01:41

I found your site through Ask and I’m glad I did.

Staying at home with a toddler is really hard work. I stayed home with my daughter until she was 2 and then I went back to work part-time. Sometimes I feel guilty – especially when she cries in the morning about having to leave. But it’s probably for the best. Otherwise I’d probably be “threatening [her] with bodily harm” on a fairly regular basis. : )

Gwen Jacksons last blog post..Bratz-worst
by Southern (in)Sanity

22 Apr 2009 at 01:56

It would appear that Boy Z likes birds as well. Was he not scared of that incredibly large bird walking by in the first picture?

(I intentionally avoided saying what type of bird it was since I am nowhere near certain of the answer).
by Noble Savage

22 Apr 2009 at 02:05

I really hate that site. I’m sure they’d tear me to pieces but I don’t give a fuck. The comments are the worst.

Noble Savages last blog post..It was the worst of times, it was the best of times
by rassles

22 Apr 2009 at 02:27

Yeah, well I’m sure it’s no surprise that I’m addicted over there. Not so much in the firing squad, but the smithery. You done good, over there…but I have to say, that after reading you for a solid month, I am an expert on everything you. Who am I kidding, I’m an expert on everything. Maybe you could have shorter posts sometimes, but that’s not a big deal. I seriously like the academic writing style you put up here. Because it’s now something that your readers use to define you.

rassless last blog post..Take That, Rain.
by courtney

22 Apr 2009 at 03:33

Wow, that was some ruthless criticism. I’m not sure I could subject myself to that.

I reject her advice on picking a theme. Theme blogs are boring. Your eclecticism is what keeps me and others coming back. I also disagree with her notion that you should steer clear of your own personality. What the fuck? It’s YOUR blog.

However, “too much foreplay and not enough hard dicking” cracked me up.

courtneys last blog post..Saucer of Milk, Table Two. Rowr.
by tysdaddy

22 Apr 2009 at 04:14

Don’t change a thing.

I got a similar review, two stars, and they scolded me for some of the same things. While I’m no academic, not like you anyway, my posts tend to be long. But I’ve never gotten bogged down when I tune in and concentrate. Which is why I usually reserve your blog for times when other demands are light.

Reading you is more than a quick laugh or some punchy news palaver. You take an issue and hammer it.

Don’t change a thing.

And kudos for the smoke-free day . . .

tysdaddys last blog post..Why So Serious?
by muskrat

22 Apr 2009 at 04:44

I don’t know what I’d do with myself if I had such a day. Probably take up smoking and shoot some birds.

muskrats last blog post..interviewed by twippley skwood
by Jacob

22 Apr 2009 at 04:50

You probably don’t love birds as much as I do. I got almost jittery excited because after dropping off some bobwhite quail in my pens in the back yard, I noticed a bird perched on the landline post behind our storage shed. I aimed the truck’s headlights in that direction and it turned out to be a nighthawk. I haven’t had a chance to dig out my birding books yet to decide which type exactly it was, but those are REALLY hard to find.

Jacobs last blog post..The Avian Lynch Mob
by Coal Miner's Granddaughter

22 Apr 2009 at 05:41

I saw your review and was surprised you submitted! But proud, too. I think I lucked out with Calamity’s review of my site a while back. She could have seriously tore me a new one, and probably should have.

And sorry about your inability to form a sentence. After a while you get numb.

Coal Miner’s Granddaughters last blog post..Facebook’s Class of ‘90
by arizaphale

22 Apr 2009 at 07:49

Yup, shame I’m off to Sydney or I would have offered to do something with you guys. Not that my sentences are overly cogent at the best of times and as for grammar; don’t you remember who scored Genius level on the BBC quiz? Uh-huh. It wasn’t ME that’s for sure!
I don’t know AFM. It’s a wonder any of us stick around wihat with the long winded, un-themed, personality driven, skittish nature of your badly apostrophised blog. (there/their/they’re)
I would no more submit my blog for review than stick pins in my eyes. I think the best review is the number and quality of readers and comments you get; since my numbers are much lower than yours I’ll take my shallow, inconsistent, family bashing blog (with pretty pictures of scrapbooks) and crawl back under my long winded comments….

arizaphales last blog post..Crafty Tuesday
by birds of a feather

22 Apr 2009 at 07:53

As the bony fingers of the US recession close slowly around my skinny neck, I find myself spending more and more time gazing out the window of my ivory tower while Spring unfolds before me; enthralled by our feathered friends and their flights of fancy. I too have spent the majority of my life purposefully stalking the hallowed halls of one university or another in search of answers to someone else’s questions. With the mounting reality of my own impending unemployment fogging my senses, the world outside my window looks ever more inviting. What will I do with myself after I step out from behind my ivory facade? I’m not sure yet, but I like birds. Later.
by mjrc

22 Apr 2009 at 08:55

wow, if you only got two stars, i’m not sure i should dare submit my blog!

i’m curious, do you know how many entries they read of a given blog before they decide what they think?

oh, and i liked the “This is sex with too much foreplay, and not enough good hard dicking” line, too. not necessarily because i agree with it, but because it’s a pretty good image. i may steal it myself for a music review someday! : )

mjrcs last blog post..Cancel My Subscription, I Don’t Need Your Issues
by Damon

22 Apr 2009 at 09:08

I not an academic and I’m certainly no writer which may be obvious to those who have visited my blog. I AM an at-home Dad managing a household of six and will continue to do that which is required to maintain order, feed and educate the young, and give my overworked spouse peace of mind that the cogs are well greased and running smoothly on the home front.

Damons last blog post..OK FINE, I’ll read start reading "Harry Potter!"
by admin

22 Apr 2009 at 12:57

SSG – We made peace. And Zach’s obsessed with them.

Theresa – See, I need more of an inner editor.

Gwen – I reckon that as long as we don’t actually follow through on the threats then it’s OK. Or that’s what I tell myself.

SIS – Emu. And the boy has no fear. He’s actually charging the emu.

NS – I like the site, the reviews. But the comment stream can be a bit like a pack of drunk jackals. I tend to ignore it.

Rassles – An expert on everything me, eh? I’m thinking of throwing y’all a curve if I can find the balls.

Tys – I think I could change the editing thing.

Oh, boy awake. Y’all pray for my sanity this afternoon. I think we’re going to the beach.
by Jacob

22 Apr 2009 at 13:46

Not that you really care, but I just figured it out. It was a Chuck Will’s Widow, a close relative of the Whippoorwill. The common nighthawk (the other species of nightjar common here) is too small and has too much white to be what I saw.

You hear these all the time, but because their entirely nocturnal, they’re really hard to see.

Jacobs last blog post..Show Recommendation
by Monty

22 Apr 2009 at 15:58

I think that giving you merely 2 stars was harsh.

Montys last blog post..Everyone’s a Comedian.
by chris

22 Apr 2009 at 16:51

LB probably gave you the most objective review you were going to get. You probably would have gotten IFLY from the rest of us. I thought it would actually have been funny if you reviewed your own site and then flaming fingered yourself–very Warhol. I love the science posts for the very fact that you don’t dumb them down you break the info down so it is more palatable. I like you’re lack of singular focus but maybe b/c I am much the same, a little kid stuff, family stuff, funny stuff, serious stuff and yeah, posts about waxing guys balls-see, it’s like we’re twins:) The only thing I would have added is I adore your other commentors–I have found a number of really good blogs through you and since so many of us comment consistently, I have actually gotten to know a bunch of people through how they respond.

chriss last blog post..Easter Phony
by Jud

23 Apr 2009 at 00:07

I enjoy birds. I can recall my father, a zoologist by training, always pointing and shouting latin names of avian critters on walks and car trips.

He worked on US Wildlife Refuges that supported mostly migratory waterfwol, but his last posting was in the Sonoran desert with some an endangered species of quail.

Thanks for bringing to mind these memories for me. I am certain your son will have similarly fond memories of you in the future.

Juds last blog post..Old Folks Home
by Here In Franklin

23 Apr 2009 at 03:00

Your two stars strike fear in the hearts of those of us waiting for our own reviews. Bluestreak mentioned that she skipped the football posts. I, on the other hand, adore the football posts and can’t wait ’til IT’S FOOTBALL TIME IN TENNESSEE. (God I’m such a geek.)

Here In Franklins last blog post..I am NOT in a New York state of mind
by The Unbearable Banishment

23 Apr 2009 at 04:02

I’m just coming off 4 months of involuntary unemployment. I quite enjoyed it. The only bad part is that I was laid off in the dead of winter. The LEAST they could have done was wait until the summer. I live near the beach and I would have been a bronzed Adonis.
by Gypsy

23 Apr 2009 at 04:21

You definitely picked the most “objective” one of the reviewers out of the hat, in terms of your blog. I’m positive I’d have given you an IFLW, ’cause I do.

I really like what you write and how you write it. Oh, the red pen could come out some more, but I “hear” you in my head, and I think that’s a really good thing. Not in a schizophrenic kind of way, though. You know what I mean.

Gypsys last blog post..Flying solo
by Angel

23 Apr 2009 at 04:25

What does it say about me that the very things they pointed out as negatives are the things that keep me coming back to your blog? I think personal blogs should contain everything that makes you who you are. No matter how chaotic or meandering that may seem. I have to read your scientific posts more than once and sometimes even look up things in order to understand them, but I enjoy them. Your politics makes me laugh, and your religious views, while not being as far from my own as you might think, do make me shake my head at times. But I enjoy every single post. If you had tagged this blog as a scientific site or a political site, etc., I would agree that it needs to be weeded out. But you didn’t. It’s a personal blog of your personal views and journey. I really enjoy it. Especially the boy Z pics and when Dr. O’C scolds you publically. (Sorry)

Angels last blog post.."I would love to coach there someday… " (but I’m not wearing those damn flipflops)
by kitty

23 Apr 2009 at 07:14

That’s a bit of an unnecessarily harsh review. I like off track. I like your politics. I don’t put proper names ending in ’s’ into the accusative by adding an extra ’s’ (Chris’s blog for example). Don’t go changin’ sunshine.

And birds in general are OK. Emus are the form the devil takes when walking on earth I’m sure. And magpies. A magpie once stole my pancake, but that’s a long story.

kittys last blog post..arts degrees, please take one
by kitty

23 Apr 2009 at 07:17

oooopppssss… split infinitive. I magpie stole my pancake once is obviously what I meant to say.

kittys last blog post..arts degrees, please take one
by Noble Savage

23 Apr 2009 at 07:30

I guess the thing I don’t like about the site is that submitting your work for critique means you are trying to make your blog more readable, marketable or attractive to others instead of doing and writing what comes naturally. And that’s fine if that’s what you want to do but blogging, to me, means saying whatever the hell I want. It’s not a job interview, a political polemic or a first novel. It’s about writing from my heart and my gut, not with a red pen in my hand and an eye on my stats page.

Noble Savages last blog post..Bed-shaming
by bluestreak

23 Apr 2009 at 08:12

I love your blog. Truly. And the peanut gallery over at Ask seems to adore you.

In fact, part of my turn-around right now with my blog is inspired by the way you blog. i feel like you have a good balance between serious posts and just using this as a site to post pictures or communicate whatever comes to mind. I like that you vary it based on the different aspects of you; the dad aspect, the scientist aspect, the football freak, etc.

I’ve always connected with you as an expat, but over time and reading, you get to know a blogger. Unfortunately, I probably know you a whole lot more than you know me because I have taken things a bit too seriously and have waited to post until I felt I had something really post-worthy, instead of just writing daily like you do. Which means I post, like, never. But I hope that changes soon.

bluestreaks last blog post..A Blue Goodbye
by admin

23 Apr 2009 at 11:00

Muskrat – I’ve nearly retaken up smoking in the last couple of days.

Jacob – No way, I love birds the most! I didn’t know that there was such a thing as a ‘nighthawk’. I thought it was one of those made up critters.

CMGD – I’m praying for numbness.

Arizaphale – Badly apostrophed? What the hell are you talking about! Your a maths teacher, not an English teacher.

(Yes, that ‘your’ was intentional)

Birds – Good to hear from you, buddy. Good luck with that job hunt!

MJRC – That was a good line. That reviewer is familiar with my blog, but she only really focused on the last few posts.

Damon – It’s a tough gig. I’m back at work for a half day today, but I don’t know how you do it. I spent most of the day yesterday following my one boy around with a vacuum and damp cloth just trying to keep the house from spontaneously destructing.

Jacob – I love the sound of whipoorwhills, but have never been lucky enough to see one

Monty – I was pretty content with it. I would have given myself the same rating.

Chris – When you brought it up in jest that time I had to review someone I hated I thought exactly the the same thing.

Jud – I used to do the same thing with plants, but now that I’m in a new continent I don’t actually know what most of the plants are.

HIF – I don’t think very many people like the football posts, but those are all for me! Can’t wait for football season again, I think we owe the Vols another whooping.

TUB – It takes more than living near the beach to be a browned Adonis. Trust me.

Gypsy – I’m glad, because that’s how I write so people can hear me in their head. I think people that know me probably get that, but it’s gratifying to know that it occasionally works for people that I haven’t actually met.

Angel – She scolds me privately a lot, you’d probably enjoy that as well.

Kitty – See, I really don’t think it was that harsh. If I had reviewed my site, I probably would have been a lot harsher.

I think magpies get an undeserved bad name. I’ve yet to be swooped – I’m beginning to think that is an Australian myth.

NS – I’m writing largely for myself, but like a lot of people around here have dreams of working my way into being a proper writer. That’s why I value the opinion of outside and extremely critical reviewers. If I can improve my blogging, I can improve my writing in general.

I do have to admit to being stats obsessed, but come on – who isn’t at some level?

Bluestreak – Thanks for those kind words, really. I’ve always thought of you as a better writer than I am, so I’m hoping that you get up and running again.
by heather

23 Apr 2009 at 13:53

I think it is who you get dear. I really like the blog. I was rated long ago and I am not sure I would receive anything similar now as I plow through despair.

To everything turn, turn , turn….

heathers last blog post..Despite All My Rage…
by Joe @ Irrational Dad

23 Apr 2009 at 14:13

I like birds too. As a matter of fact, I’m grilling chicken tomorrow for dinner.

I keep telling Sarah that if she wants to go back to work, I’d be happy to become a stay-at-home dad. I’m sure that if I REALLY thought about it, I’d probably change my mind. I’m looking forward to seeing how this modified schedule works out for you.

By the way… 20 weeks pregnant, eh? Shouldn’t you be finding out the gender right about now? Inquiring minds and all that…

Joe @ Irrational Dads last blog post..Wordless Wednesday v. Helping in the Garden
by NATUI

23 Apr 2009 at 15:05

So, are you going to average once every year or so? Just to keep you on your toes? Intriguing idea. Not enough to get me to resubmit, but good on you for going under the microscope again.

NATUIs last blog post..Death Needs A New Hobby
by admin

24 Apr 2009 at 19:42

Heather – Cheers.

Joe – I said the same thing at the beginning, but I don’t think I’m cut out for it in the long run.

NATUI – Yeah, I like to be kept on my toes!