Since we’re all friends around here – unless you’ve been culled, in which case go away – I’m going to ask you, my gentle readers, for some advice.
Many of you know that I work two jobs. Nearly a year ago, a couple of months after our arrival in Australia, I took a part time job as a scientific writer for a company that is loosely a part of the pharmaceutical industry. Shortly thereafter, I was offered a short-term lectureship at a local university. I figured I could do a job and a half for a little while especially since Dr. O’C hadn’t found one yet.
Well, the company folks liked my writing and increased my hours. The university liked my teaching and asked me for another year. Again, I figured that I could do both for a finite period of time. The university contract was finite and the writing job seemed to be going places, so what the hell. And I have managed for about six months of so.
But things are becoming unmanageable.
I’m not comfortable getting into specifics – there’s a scary confidentiality clause in my writing contract. But to put things simply, the writing job is driving me pretty quickly insane. Here are some of the reasons:
- The founder and CEO of the company is an insufferable bully.
- His wife, and the CFO, is a passive aggressive sneak.
- The VP in charge of operations is a maniacal micro-manager.
- The company is infected with a demoralizing culture of blame. You never know from day-to-day whether you will be on the spot for losing a contract that you had nothing to do with.
- The management is quick with criticism but loathe to squeeze out a compliment.
- Company policies change with the whims of the husband-wife team that run the place.
- I’ve been asked on multiple occasions to fudge data or to lie on reports.
- When those inconsistencies have been caught by QA or a client, I’ve gotten the blame.
- There is no opportunity for advancement within the company. The always do outside hires. Largely because their current employees are dissatisfied and demoralized.
- The company is as tight as a duck’s ass when it comes to pay rises, but flies upper management around the world first class.
I could go on, but shan’t. All of these things are very disappointing, because this was a dream job for me. I’ve always wanted to work as a writer – even a scientific writer. When you take away the office politics and all the other garbage, I love the work. My coworkers are great fun and the job affords a flexibility (or did until recently) that really suits my lifestyle.
But I can’t take it anymore. I’m beaten. This isn’t the first time I’ve complained. I’ve stood up for myself – fought the power. But I’m tired. That list above just keeps getting longer. Yesterday for example, the passive aggressive CFO suggested that I had been lying about my hours. (I haven’t been, but maybe should have been). There’s a paranoid voice in my head telling me that they’re trying to get rid of me. No company could be this disfunctional,could treat its employees with such contempt. If they are trying to get rid of me, then well done.
I’ve called in sick today because I’m 100% certain that I’ll quit if I go into the office and I want another day to think things through.
My number one priority is to support my family. But even without this job, I’ll still be pulling in a full-time salary from the university. At least through the end of the year.
Dr. O’C’s valid concern is that after my contract is up with the university, chances are that I will be jobless. The university is extremely unlikely to offer me further employment unless I establish a research program – something in which I have absolutely zero interest. She worries that, in this economic clime, we may find ourselves in a real financial pinch come 2010. This is one of the things that I love about Dr. O’C. She’s a planner, the sensible one. She’s a nice counterbalance to my tendency to fly by the seat of my pants.
Here’s the thing. I spent the last couple of years that we lived in Britain in a job that I loathed. I was unwilling or unable to take the risk of putting myself out on the job market – a market flooded with unemployed Ph.D.’s. I swore that I wouldn’t do that again. That I would take the chance if ever I found myself in a similar situation. Well here I am.
I’ve probably made too strong an argument for quitting because clearly that’s what I want to do. So, I’m asking you not to be too swayed by my persuasive powers. Don’t tell me what I want to hear. Tell me what you think, tell me what you would do.
UPDATE:
Clearly I haven’t made my case well enough. How about this. Quitting one of my two jobs will give me the time to do the remaining job better and thus improve my chances that the uni will look after me. OR quitting one of my two jobs will give me more time with my son and we can take him out of day care another day each week, thus saving us money. Come on people, I’ve changed my mind. Tell me what I want to hear!
—————————–
I’ve been finding some solace in the past couple of days from the sparsely beautiful music of Me and the Horse I Rode In On, a Danish one man band. You can get his debut EP “Ghost Hospital” free from his MySpace page. If you like that, buy his latest “Home and Other Places I’d Like to Visit” from
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by Mooselet
30 Apr 2009 at 10:53
Quite honestly number 7 would have done it for me – I would not feel comfortable fudging reports or out and out lying on official reports. I understand your wife’s concerns, but you have some time between now and then to find another job somewhere. Go blow your own horn to others and ditch this soul-sucking job.
Mooselets last blog post..News To Share
by Jacob
30 Apr 2009 at 11:01
I’ve been in the same problem for a while. I hate teaching high school, but unlike you, I can’t quit yet. I only have the one full-time income, so I have to wait until I find a new job before I can.
If you had any reason to expect that your university job was going to be there next year, I’d tell you to march into your boss’s office and drop a big deuce on his/her desk and walk out. Since it sounds like the better job has less security, I’d say I’d probably be keeping my options over for just a little long.
Start looking for a new job, though. I’d be doing whatever I could to get our more quickly.
by Dawn
30 Apr 2009 at 11:19
As the old saying goes, the best time to look for a new job is when you already have one. What I personally would do is hit the job search hard, but keep this job (soul sucking as it is) until you have a new job firmly in hand. Then tell them to sit and spin
by Nichole
30 Apr 2009 at 11:35
My theory about work has always been that the people who love their jobs are really, really lucky. For everybody else, it’s just a way to feed the family, etc. (Pretty bleak, eh?)
by chris
30 Apr 2009 at 11:43
Ok, like Dr OC, I am always the pragmatist. Still, I would not want my mate in a demoralizing, stressful job that was making him unhappy. I would say tough it out while you a/look for other work b/finish out you university contract. When I was pregnant, my biological imperative for security typically won out in matters like this. If it were me, I would formulate a plan, an exit strategy if you will. Not only is this more secure, it also might lessen the burden of a soul-sucking job if you can remind yourself everytime things get rough that you are on your way out. I can totally relate to not wanting to stay where you don’t want to be–promises made to yourself that you wouldn’t do that to yourself again. And yet, especially as a parent, there are risky career directions and options that are not as easy to exercise when you know that little people depend on you. Good luck man, not an easy place to be in.
chriss last blog post..Girl, You’ll Be a Woman Soon(Enough)
by admin
30 Apr 2009 at 11:48
OK, with the exception of Mooselet, you people are pissing me off. I’ve changed my mind. Tell me what I want to hear.
by Gwen
30 Apr 2009 at 11:57
The “forcing me to lie” part would be a deal-breaker. No job is worth that kind of violation. And it is a violation. You are worth more, a LOT more, than the way you are being treated. I understand your desire to support your family, but you do have a job for at least another year. I say quit that soul-sucking job and use the time to secure a job for when your employment at the university is over. I think you are a phenomenal writer (as you already know). Even in the current economic climate, your ability would be recognized and needed. Good luck, with whatever you decide.
Gwens last blog post..Not OK
by HereInFranklin
30 Apr 2009 at 12:03
I also work as a writer at a job I hate at a university. I will tell you what my husband tells me: Take the paycheck and cash it as long as you can.
When you get right down to it, it isn’t hard and I occasionally have nice pieces to add to my portfolio. And the assholes give me plenty of fodder for good stories.
I know this isn’t what you want to hear. Just like what husband tells me isn’t what I want to hear. But here in the U.S., a middle-aged woman like me just can’t toss off a job with benefits. They’re just too hard to come by.
HereInFranklins last blog post..The West Wing
by Lori
30 Apr 2009 at 12:22
Quitting a job you hate (especially one that compromises your integrity) is a no-brainer. The more you stay in a work situation that saps you, the more it will infiltrate the parts of your life that matter most. So you’ll buy a few less pairs of orange rubber shoes for a while — so what ? The ones you have will probably outlast life on Earth anyway.
by Southern (in)Sanity
30 Apr 2009 at 13:36
Give items #7 and #8 on your list there, I would wholeheartedly and without hesitation say that you should quit the writing job. Immediately.
I am certain that you take great pride in your work. To be told to lie is one thing; to be assigned the blame when the lie is discovered is unacceptable – to me, at least.
But, all of that is easy for a single guy with no family obligations to say.
by Florida Girl In Sydney
30 Apr 2009 at 13:56
A great way to have job security is to let them know you won’t be fudging any information, etc. I’m sure they would not want to have any issues with their publications (or whatever they are) being brought out as misleading or flat out lies. Just some bad advice from an unemployed person.
by heather
30 Apr 2009 at 14:12
I quit.
heathers last blog post..Me & Barbie
by Jud
30 Apr 2009 at 14:28
I have been a serf on a manor such as you describe. Infighting of subordinates was fostered, to keep the troops from revolting.
Ditch the job; it is apparent you loathe it, and you can’t be doing your best work, or even work you are truly proud of.
Focus on the Uni job and Little Man and the new one coming, and of course the good Dr. O’C.
Find a research topic or a second job, or get a telephoto lense and some pics of the dean with a coed or three, just for backup.
by Dr O'C
30 Apr 2009 at 15:50
I would just like to point out that should AFM quit this PERMANENT job, in December when his TEMPORARY contract with the University FINISHES he will be most likely (by his own admisssion) be unemployed and I will be on UNPAID maternity leave and therefore not drawing a salary. Suck it up AFM, as your teaching load picks up next semester you will be spending less time at this shit job and you can also work from home to reduce your contact time. You have a family to support now, one that you at the time wanted more than me, I can still remember being in a job I liked better than the one I have now and travelling internationally.
by Damon
30 Apr 2009 at 16:34
I worked for a behemoth residential lending institution a few years back that I won’t name…ok, here’s a hint, they were just absorbed by B Of A this week as a result of aggressive pursuit of subprime lending and the ensuing mortgage meltdown which as you know hit the states about a year and 1/2 ago.
Anyway, as the assistant branch manager I was consistently pushed to inflate mid-month estimates for monthly loan fundings, and subsequently fund as many loans at months end. Each branch was extremely competitive, good bonuses were available and company culture dictated cutting corners.
Suffice to say, I soon found myself backdating loan documents (showing the loan closing in the prior month to enhance numbers)…I was called on it by a borrower and had no leg to stand on…I was demoted and then I resigned (fortunately I wasn’t fired).
My point? Don’t compromise your integrity for a job or for a few extra dollars especially when you know that NO one has your back and will put the blame on you in a heartbeat. It only takes a fraction of a second to cross the line.
My advice, quit the scientific writing job tomorrow. Begin searching for a new opportunity to replace the university job in December. RE-consider doing a research project to continue your teaching assignment. (maybe you can find something that interests you/maybe a colleague can provide an alternative)….Good luck in your decision AFM
Damons last blog post..Wordless Wednesday (Beautiful Creatures)
by Will
30 Apr 2009 at 17:06
Hey Freeman,
Ever since you did your science Tuesday article on my research I check in on your blog regularly as I too am an expat- very interesting, keep it up.
My advice is get out of the writing job as quick as you can – meaning, do it yesterday. In my experience with companies like that, if you feel that one day you will get burned or that things will be turned against you, they likely will (as it looks they already are). Human intuition is usually right on the mark. I only have the info you gave in your blog, but it sounds to me that it is not a question of “if” things might go sour, but rather a question of “when” they will – and when things do go south you will be treated like garbage. Also, items #7 and #8 are clearly not normal – and completely unacceptable in the academic world. Nothing, I mean nothing, good can come of that.
All of that to say, it just isn’t worth it. No paycheck justifies having to work and deal with such an atmosphere on a daily/weekly basis.
It is stressful to give up a paycheck, but you have a PhD, you speak the language, and you are resourceful, so you can find something else without a problem. There you have my 2 cents. Good luck. I’m interested to hear how things work out.
by admin
30 Apr 2009 at 17:15
Dr. O’C – I think your problem is one of terminology, love. A job is only permanent insofar as I don’t get fired for telling one of the upper management to go fuck themselves or lose it entirely and just walk out one day. I think I’m on the way out and in a lot of ways it’s better to quit before they sack you. Permanent, in this case, is a pretty deceptive term.
by Noble Savage
30 Apr 2009 at 17:29
Quit that evil job and immediately begin either looking for another job or start up that research at the university that will ensure you further work. It’s obvious you hate the people you’re working for and that they are making you compromise your ethics. Eventually you will come to resent the hell out of whoever or whatever made you feel you had to stay. Being stressed out and pissed off all the time will undoubtedly leak over into your marriage and relationship with your child(ren). Is that worth the extra money or ’security’ (though I agree a job isn’t secure when it’s run by such unstable people)?
I understand Dr O’C’s concerns, as a woman expecting a second child, as well. She obviously wants you to be happy but is worried about the family’s financial future, quite rightly. I think you would be wise reach some kind of compromise on this so neither of you feel ignored or cheated. Maybe you could set a one or two month deadline and say that that’s all you can take. If you haven’t found anything else by then, you still get to quit, no regrets. But if you’ve given looking for another job a fair shot first, it might make Dr O’C feel a bit more confident about your choice.
Good luck to you both, it’s a hard decision. Just be glad you live in a country where you don’t have to worry about not being able to provide health care for your family if you quit your job. Socialised medicine rocks!
Noble Savages last blog post..The to-do list that ate Noble Savage
by Monty
30 Apr 2009 at 17:32
With all due respect, I think points 1 to 10 are common to any corporate. If itsn’t an idiotic husband-wife partnership, it’s an idiot who wants to be both. That’s no reason to quit, really. If you enjoy the job you do, you’re luckier than 75% of the population. If you enjoy the job you do and your bosses et al, you’re probably smoking some really good shit.
If I were in your place I’d work until 2010 to determine where the Uni. job’s gonna go. 8 more months of a suckfest won’t be too tough. Besides, that’s 8 more months to spend time job hunting.
My motto is to never quit a job without it’s replacement in hand. I think that, no matter how shit the job is, you gotta stick to it. Especially with the economy being in it’s wonderful state of retardation today.
Montys last blog post..It only takes a spark..
by Theresa B
30 Apr 2009 at 17:42
Personally I’d quit based on the lying thing because a) it’s not right, and b) if that’s the culture in that place, imagine what’s going on that you don’t know about. You don’t want to be there when all the lies come back.
It’s easy for me to say this, of course, since I have no dependents other than the menagerie. However, if you’re getting a full-time salary from the university job for the next few months, why not quit the sucky job now and spend that extra time looking for another writing job?
Deep breath. You have friends and relatives and a good support system. It will all work out in the end.
Theresa Bs last blog post..Which goal is ours?
by SSG
30 Apr 2009 at 17:54
Dude, you totally have to leave the shit job. Yeah, you gotta plan for the future, but by staying you’ll feel weak as well, like you had the opportunity you didnt take. Also life is too short to not enjoy many hours per day. Life is too short to be in a bad mood when you come home to your family. Seriously, money isn’t everything and you’re a clever guy. The uni job is for at least another 6 months? And you could maybe investigate more into other areas they could employ you in there? or become a private tutor for a while? or writing exams for the exam board? or joining a local newspaper as an featurist? This is your life and you gotta be happy so make the choices that make you happy. Things will work out. hell, if both of you lost both your jobs, well Australia has social security, no? DrO’Cs family is there if the worst came to the worst you could move with them for a while? The world is a big place there will be a job somewhere. And Australia isn’t a cold place, you could live in a tent if you needed too (don’t laugh, I saw it working in social services in oxford. with a baby).
Anyways, you already know the right decision, you just gotta take the leap of faith.
I hope you think of a really good notice to hand in, or a really good way to tell your bosses what you really think of them. If they think you’re so good, maybe they’ll let you do some freelance from home? Or send some of your writing all over the joint and people will like it. What about teaching a new course in scientific writing at the uni? Lots of people would do a masters in that!
SSGs last blog post..Oh what a night…
by headbang8
30 Apr 2009 at 18:02
Husband and wife management? Uh-oh. Have you trapped yourself in a surrogate dysfunctional family?
How does your writing job mimic your dysfunctional family of origin? Is that why they liked you, and you liked them–at first?
What dysfunctional family buttons do they press in you? How are you reacting in unhealthy ways that you learned in your home? How can you disable the buttons, in your own head?
Certain programmes with which we are both familiar work by attraction rather than promotion. So therefore, all I can do is say that the group on this website helped with many dysfunctional family-of-origin issues in my own life, and note two convenient meetings on the weekend, practically across the street from you.
http://www.al-anon.alateen.org/australia/sa.html
Have you documented the enforced lies? Which authority can you tell?
It is NOT better to quit than be fired in Oz. Especially if they have rescinded the WorkChoices unfair dismissal legislation. If you’re fired by a workplace bully, you have options.
Remember, it’s THEM, not YOU.
headbang8s last blog post..Pour Homme, e pour Straight, Chapitre Deux.
by A Free Man
30 Apr 2009 at 22:09
OK, first of all, thanks all for your advice. I still haven’t decided what to do. I think I’ll go in tomorrow and see how the wind is blowing. If I can get through one day it will be another day’s wages in my pocket.
Mooselet – That’s the way I’m leaning. I think eight months is ample time to sort things out.
Jacob – Oh, I’m definitely looking! The problem is that I have a gentleman’s agreement with my head of school at the university to see out my contract. He actually is a gentleman, so I wouldn’t betray that. Otherwise I could quit one job and hang onto the other while I sorted out the long term.
Dawn – Like I said, I would have to hang onto a job that’s breaking me in order to do that. I’m not sure that I have it in me.
Nichole – I know what you’re saying and maybe I’m a naive optimist, but I hope you’re wrong.
Chris – I don’t know what that plan would be. I’ve always flown by the seat of my pants and it’s always worked out, but this whole kid thing throws things into a different arena. Now, I just don’t know.
Gwen – Thanks. But a) I don’t think I’m that good and b) in the current economic clime you have to be that good. What’s funny is that #7 didn’t seem like that big a deal to me. I guess I’m cynical enough to expect that kind of shit from the corporate world.
HIF – I can’t use any of this writing for my portfolio, it’s all confidential and proprietary.
Lori – A) They’re red rubber shoes, thank you very much and B) it is a no-brainer, especially for someone of my qualifications. Not to mention charm.
SIS – Yeah, as I said #7 seemed justthe way it was in companies – bear in mind I’ve been in academia for a decade now. But #8 – I object to that, it’s bullshit.
FGIS – I don’t know that they would care. As long as they get paid.
Heather – Word.
Jud – The one thing that isn’t too bad about this place is that my fellow employees, for the most part, are a pretty tight group. We have, after all, a common enemy.
Damon – This:
“Don’t compromise your integrity for a job or for a few extra dollars especially when you know that NO one has your back and will put the blame on you in a heartbeat. It only takes a fraction of a second to cross the line.”
Is the best advice I’ve read so far. Not just because I like it but because it’s based on experience. Thanks.
Will – Good to hear from you and glad to know that you still pop in now and again, even though there’s not as much science lately. I’ve got one that I’m working on though.
Anyway, you and I know that 7 and 8 are completely unacceptable in academia, but I’ve learned pretty quickly that academia and industry are entirely different things. I thought I had made the right decision getting out of academia, but it isn’t so cut and dry.
NS – Hear, hear on the health care. I also like your idea of a deadline, maybe that’s reasonable – a countdown. I’ve just got to believe that with my qualifications I’ll be able to sort something out. Coming in to Aus I was worried because all my experience was in plant biology, but I’ve spent the last year broadening that.
Monty – Do you really think so? That all companies are like that? That’s damn depressing. I really hope you’re wrong.
Theresa – I know some of the stuff that goes on ‘upstairs’ and it’s damn frightening. They’re ruthless and petty little people.
SSG – Re Dr. O’C’s family – no. You were with me in the last job that I stayed in and shouldn’t have. It was amazing for six months or so before this job started going wrong to look forward to going into work in the morning. I want that back again. I don’t think it’s going to happen here.
Headbang – I got enough program for one guy right now. As for dysfunctional family, I don’t know if there’s much parallel. I never was attracted by that dynamic, just thought that the job would be OK despite it. I don’t know if I’ve got any documentation of the lies, I’ll go through e-mails. I started keeping every e-mail about six months ago when things started to go sour.
As for unfair dismissal, I don’t know much about it. Any suggestions as to where I can get good information?
A Free Mans last blog post..It’s obvious, you hate me, you think I’m worthless. It’s obvious.
by Prefers Her Fantasy Life
30 Apr 2009 at 22:37
Life is too short to do something you hate.
I’ve been a freelance writer for many years and am now going back to teaching–because of the benefits.
Somehow I think teaching and being affiliated with a university will serve you better in the future, even if your current gig ends.
Opportunities to write will always present themselves, but the thing is, you can’t count on them. Do like the rest of the world of artists, musicians, writers: keep your day job–one of them–and supplement with the writing when you aren’t hating it.
Besides, I have feeling you’ll be doing your “own” writing in a serious way one day.
Prefers Her Fantasy Lifes last blog post..Six Degrees of San Francisco
by suzer
30 Apr 2009 at 22:48
It is a dilemna, but I would suggest looking at your budget and figuring out how you can cut costs etc, then seeing if you can’t quit that job you hate, focus on the one with the university, and start using your free time to job hunt, network and perhaps suss out freelancing possibilities. If your job is stealing your soul, it’s not worth it, and there are always ways to manage your money/find something else. It would do you some good to come and meet people at one of our expat gatherings;)
by JChevais
30 Apr 2009 at 23:12
Speaking as someone who tried, mightily, to hang onto a shit job that was spinning away into the toilet; Verbal abuse, passive aggressivity, unclear directives, blame and all the rest, I can say from experience that your body may make the decision for you.
Trying to hang onto that job very nearly cost me my reason (I’m probably over dramatising) and it actually made me quite sick (emphatically not a dramatisation).
It took me 4 months to recover properly.
No job is worth that. None. When you are in a job like that, you think that there is nothing else. No hope. That doors are closed. Your only objective is to get to the end of the day. Yes, you have your family to consider, but funnily enough, the doors start opening once your mind is free of the clutter that was imposed on it by an unhealthy environment.
It is a risk.
But isn’t life a risky business? And is ’security’ bought at this price worth it? Is your integrity worth it?
Everyone has limits. If they’ve overstepped where you’ve drawn the line they will continue to do so. Can you live with that?
Can your mental health?
by Jacob
30 Apr 2009 at 23:48
You need to start pulling pranks on the higher ups. Break into their office and rearrange furniture, have Mickey ship you some mouse droppings from Wyoming and sprinkle those in their desk drawers and the like.
Maybe you should consider going back to drinking, but only while working there?
In college, some guys once caught a skunk and turned it loose in the goody-two-shoes dorm. I think there was a sheep involved too. I think a kangaroo or wombat loose in the office would rock.
Jacobs last blog post..I Also Hate the Flu
by cIII
01 May 2009 at 00:24
Sir,
In these troubled times, one with any sense at all would keep eating the shit Sandwich that they are given everyday. And not unlike a Dog, who eats the same food, sometimes their whole life, you would become loyal and subservient. Just eating that Sandwich and laying down at the feet of the Master. Because it’s safe and comfortable.
But you know…..I’m fairly certain that you, sir, are no Dog. And “safe” and “comfortable” have hardly ever lead to Adventure and excitement. Not that being broke and scared is either Adveturous or Exciting.
A bad job can Suck on many different levels. The worse Suck a bad Job can have is the sucking it does to your soul.
Say “no thank you” to that Shit Sandwich, sir.
A shit sandwich is almost as bad as Vegemite.
cIIIs last blog post..Pockets
by courtney
01 May 2009 at 01:52
Yeesh. Sounds like some places I’ve worked.
You said you have zero interest in establishing a research program at the university, but would that be worse than this writing job? If you established the program, maybe the university would hire you permanently and you wouldn’t have to worry about not having an income. Like Dr. O’C said, you do have a family to support, so it sounds like you’ll have to suck it up somewhere — the question is where.
It sounds like you really hate this writing job, so I say ditch it before you snap and burn your bridges. If you leave on your own terms, maybe you can at least parlay your experience there into a similar writing job somewhere else. Somewhere without idiots in charge. Good luck.
courtneys last blog post..Pay It Forward
by Gypsy
01 May 2009 at 02:23
I think I’d start looking for something else immediately. Quitting without a (bigger) safety net seems a little irresponsible, especially given the baby-on-the-way thing. Then again, being miserable is no joke. So hang on as long as you reasonably can, start looking for something else, and get out if it’s truly intolerable.
by arizaphale
01 May 2009 at 03:05
Look at that. You fall asleep on the sofa for an evening and miss all this high drama! This thing must be in the air because yesterday I was having to admit that after 20 years (and only 4 in secondary) that I’ve had it with teaching. I want a career change too but I feel like I haven’t any other skills and, like you, also feel financially trapped in a loathsome job. Wanna swap? I’m sure I could fudge data beautifully. I fudge everything else in my life.
Seriously mate. Start looking for something else but hang on to the income.
by arizaphale
01 May 2009 at 03:08
Actually, I’ve just rethought that. You’ve got a year to find another job or develop the Uni one. Sorry Dr O’C but I think he should quit. Number 7 and 8 would have been the ones which did it for me too.
arizaphales last blog post..Theme Thursday: Perseverance
by Andrea
01 May 2009 at 03:51
I’ve got to back Dr O’C strongly on this one. Until you have something else permanent/serious lined up, stick with the crap job. The money, security, and happiness at home are worth it.
The only deadlines I see here are 1)when baby #2 is going to arrive and 2)when Dr O’C stops getting a pay cheque, which, coincidentally, are going to happen at the same time. And that is not the time when you should be hunting for any paying job if you’ve given up the crap one and the other ends as expected. Nor is it the time that you both should be under that kind of stress. Nor, quite frankly, are the months leading up to that deadline the time to be putting the woman carrying your child in that kind of stress.
If you weren’t expecting, if you didn’t have the onus of being the only wage earner in 120 days, you’d have the freedom and my vote to quit.
We found out that the funding for my continuing position was falling through at about four months into this pregnancy. I had to fight to get them to agree to pay me like a real person for the next four months so that I’d at least qualify for employment insurance (earning about 2/5ths of what I would have gotten over my next mat. leave had the original position been realized). The stress and the emotional turmoil over what would/could be happening to my family was unreal over the two weeks when we didn’t know what would happen. That was only two weeks.
I think if you up and quit now you’ll experience immediate satisfaction and happiness, which will shortly be followed by guilt, stress, angst, what-have-you. Not worth it for you and definitely not worth it for the family.
by kitty
01 May 2009 at 06:59
This is a long list of comments, almost all of them putting forward good arguments. And you know what you want to do. And you know what you should do. But never let it be said I was asked for my opinion and failed to give it!
Dr O’C is right, you have an obligation to your family, present and pending. However aside from the financial obligation, you have an obligation to be a happy, healthy husband and father. If the job is affecting that, then you gotta be outta there.
If you’re head is a gentleman, which is often the case, can you speak to him about the situation? If he says ’sorry sunshine, we all love you, but there’s no money in the budget for you come December’. Then that’s your decision made. The question is also – What are you prepared to do? There’s always work going, just not necessarily in your field.
Work doesn’t always need to be fun or exciting. But it shouldn’t make you misserable either.
kittys last blog post..puddle jumping
by lailani
01 May 2009 at 09:27
Since this is the first time I’ve visited your blog, I thought I’d go easy and just say this, by proxy: Oh, you hate your job? Why didn’t you say so? There’s a support group for that. It’s called EVERYBODY, and they meet at the bar. ~Drew Carey
by Allie
01 May 2009 at 12:21
I worked in a surprisingly similar situation at one point. I think life is too short for that. And my cardinal rule for jobs from now until eternity is NEVER WORK FOR A FAMILY BUSINESS (unless all family members are impossibly cool). My boss and his boss were related and the drama was impossible. You can’t put yourself through things like that. They don’t leave your brain when you leave the office. It’s bad for your health. It’s bad for your soul.
I hope you find a way out.
by Coal Miner's Granddaughter
01 May 2009 at 12:23
Before I even read your update? My opinion was (and is) QUIT THAT FUCKER! I’m amazed that you stayed that long. My first job out of college was the same way. It wasn’t a company, it was a dysfunctional family environment and I hated every second of it. It gave me technical writing experience, but it also made me gun-shy when it came to any and all writing jobs.
Quit it, baby. Just quit it.
Coal Miner’s Granddaughters last blog post..I Hate Swimming Pools
by Mimi
01 May 2009 at 12:29
Hmmm….
As a person in a similar position (I work as a freelance writer and also teach full time) I can relate.
Ditch the bad company. Bad companies bring bad energy and bad habits home with you.
Even if the research program isn’t your dream, give it a chance. Maybe you’ll dig it. Find new inspiration. Keep an open mind.
Good luck
Mimis last blog post..Donna & Finley – Boca Chica Key, FL
by The Unbearable Banishment
01 May 2009 at 13:31
I’m late to the game but for what it’s worth: It’s so obvious to me. You said it yourself. It was a dream job. If it ain’t a dream, then it’s a nightmare. Bail out and stick with the Uni. Don’t hate your day.
The Unbearable Banishments last blog post..random nyc pic/the lighter side of unemployment
by we_be_toys
01 May 2009 at 14:00
Okay, this is what I think: It’s an unmistakable sign that it’s time to jump ship, when you call in sick because otherwise you might quit. Take it from a girl who left town and phoned in her resignation, once upon a time.
Maybe the university isn’t always going to be there, but they are right now. They aren’t making you ill, they aren’t too terribly batshit, and thus far, no backstabbing, so stick with them, and get the hell away from the crazy people. And who knows? Maybe with the experience of writing for the pharmeceutical folks you could get your foot in the door with another company that’s more stable while you’re still employed by Academia.
Good times – hoping you find the choice easy to make.
by we_be_toys
01 May 2009 at 14:08
Jesus, I have missed a few things! I just read back through the comments and I hear you guys are expecting mini-monkey #2? Congrats, and Oh, Snap! Guess the pressure IS on.
When it rains it pours, doesn’t it?
Still think the University is the place to stick it out – the boss couple sound like riskier business to me.
by Angel
01 May 2009 at 20:17
Holy cow I’m late to the party, but it looks like it’s been quite the party.
I’m sorry, but I fail to see why you’re still agonizing over this. If this were your ONLY job, yep, you’d have to suck it up, put on your big boy pants, and deal with it. I’d be yelling even louder than Dr. O’C! But it isn’t. It’s your second job. You can quit it now, save your sanity, and you’ll still be supporting your family. Maybe with not quite as much money, but being miserable isn’t worth it. You’ll make them miserable, too.
Oh.. and did I mention… wait for it… you still have the other job? For the rest of this year? So, that gives you the rest of this year to find permanent employment, right? I don’t see how you can successfully look for employment while you’re working two jobs right now.
You stay there, and it’s going to get worse. You’re going to find yourself exhausted all the time, no desire to do anything even once you’re home with the family. You’re going to get hateful and bitter and it’s going to hurt every other aspect of your life.
My husband recently made the decision to switch up his employment a little. He was dealing with the same type of things (in the pharmacutical world, no less) and even though it’s going to take a little money and even a little more time together away from us, I had to agree to let him do it. It was that, or his health and sanity. He had honestly put it off as long as he could.
Now, if you’ve already figured everything out, sorry. Just ignore everything I’ve said! Good luck!
by A Free Man
02 May 2009 at 00:09
Prefers – I don’t know about the last statement, but I do think that the University is a more secure (and sane) environment. What I’m thinking now is to dump the company and try my damndest to spend the next eight months showing the university just how valuable I am.
Suzer – One of these days I’ll get past my natural antipathy for my fellow countrymen and get to one of these expat gatherings!
JChev – That’s exactly what I’ve been thinking. Without risk there is no reward. I’m stuck right now, but I think I’m going to get unstuck.
Jacob – I’ve decided to annoy them in much more passive aggressive ways. For example, I’m following some company directives to the letter which leaves our micro-managing VP out of the loop. Petty. Hell yeah.
cIII – I don’t know that I need adventure or excitement at this point in my life. I’ve had enough. I’d like a bit of security, but not at the expense of my sanity.
Courtney – I don’t think I would ever get a good recommendation out of these bastards. Maybe my line manager or something.
Gypsy – Moderation. Interesting approach.
Arizapahale – Eight months. But still.
Andrea – If you see my post from today, you’ll see why I’m blaming you for a spot of sadness tonight. I think I made the wrong choice. Although, I guess I can make a different choice on Monday.
Kitty – I’m prepared to do most things, as long as I respect the people that I work for.
Lailani – I’m pretty sure you and Dr. O’C would get along very well.
Allie – The family business thing is a good one to avoid. I know that. Now.
CMGD – It won’t sour me on writing. Like I said, when I’m left alone to get on with it, I enjoy the work. And I do a damn good job. I’m just not left alone to get on with it.
Mimi – I don’t know about research, but as you and others have pointed out, maybe I don’t get to pick and choose everything.
TUB – I really like my coworkers, keeps me from hating the day too much.
We Be Toys – Thanks for the congrats!
Angel – What I’ve got in my head right now is to spend the next few days coming up with a master plan. One to convince my special lady friend that we’ll be OK. She’s risk averse – again, one of the things I love about her – but sometimes we have to take a risk.
A Free Mans last blog post..(Not so) Giant Steps
by sarala
02 May 2009 at 00:10
I can’t go into details but I was in a bit of a whistleblower position once regarding some misconduct at work. Two colleagues and I held our ground and amazingly when time came up for a new contract year/promotion no one would respond to my e-mails. I wasn’t fired, just ignored. So I gave two weeks’ notice and quit. I’ve had a couple of jobs since but I now work for myself because I have trouble working for people with poor ethical standards and worse management style. It was a real loss for me because my career dream had always been to be an academic. I guess it wasn’t meant to be.
In this economy and with a second child on the way you may not feel you have the luxury of quitting (or maybe you do) but at least know that other people know how it feels to be stuck in a vise.
saralas last blog post..Swine!
by mongoliangirl
02 May 2009 at 00:51
The problem for me here is the “either/or” nature of your question. Clearly (because of being asked to lie on reports) this is not the proper job for you. Clearly. However, what would it be like if you stayed while aggressively seeking another position?
This is what I believe, Free Man: There is a position ‘out there’ that is seeking your exact skills. I can only imagine your education, experience and skill set are highly attractive to many companies and organizations. I can even imagine you could look for open positions outside of your locale and telecommute.
Your question seems to be bogging you down and, I believe, causes Dr. OC’s concern to be valid. I too would be highly concerned if one of the options included the possibility of no income or future prospects.
Instead of answering your question which, again, I believe is far too “either/or” in nature, I challenge you to do this:
1) Stay with your current position while
2) Standing firm that you will not lie as you
3) Scour the universe for your new job which
4) I suggest will show up lots faster if you let go of the fucking outcome and get busy in the here and now with #3
mongoliangirls last blog post..Blogging Improves Craigslist! (Actually, some kind of comparative essay about different kinds of shit. Like, figurative and literal shit. Kind of. OK, not really.)
by blues
02 May 2009 at 08:32
As you know, I recently quit a job that was eating me alive. I understand Dr. O.C´s points. They are certainly valid. My husband made the same ones when I was pleading with the universe to help me decide what to do.
I felt foolish for quitting my job in this economy. But it was the only thing I could do to light a fire under my ass and look for change. And I found it. I earn a third less than in my previous job. My husband is out of work now, so we are financially in a rut, but we are going to make it on my salary, we won´t starve or have to pawn his drumset. Regardless of all this, I am so so so much happier.
The company you work for is structurally fucked. It´s not going to get better around there for you if the screwiness comes from the very top. It´s not like once one of the micromanagers is gone, everything will be blue skies. It´s going to wear on you and wear you down and pull you down and make you feel like you´re being dragged through life. You won´t be happy there.
So, I think the question is not IF to quit, it´s WHEN to quit. Quit now or be patient and know it´s a matter of time and find your zen in that knowledge while you look for other possible writing jobs, since that is what you love.
by nursemyra
02 May 2009 at 22:03
I haven’t read any of the previous comments but hopefully that won’t matter. If I were you I’d QUIT that second job. right now. Life’s too short to put up with the kind of crap the CEO and his wife are handing out.
nursemyras last blog post..clicketty click sixty six
by NATUI
04 May 2009 at 13:08
As soon as I read “husband-wife team” that clinched it for me. My dream/nightmare job was at a school run by a micro-managing husband-wife team. The love of the job was completely overshadowing by the crazy shit they pulled. My situation and the way it was handled was a white hot mess, so I have nothing to offer you but a firm handshake to comfort you, yet maintain your personal space comfort level.
NATUIs last blog post..Let’s Just Call It What It Is
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