Comments on: It’s obvious, you hate me, you think I’m worthless. It’s obvious.

By: Throw me in the fire and I won’t throw a fit | A Free Man

Throw me in the fire and I won’t throw a fit | A Free Man — Tue, 12 May 2009 13:11:30 +0000

[...] But then I realized that one of my selves was a moron, because what is my blog about if not me? For reasons that I still don’t understand, a lot of you are interested in what goes on in the life of a fairly average guy who is teetering on middle age. I realized that I couldn’t get away with a throwaway line at the end of a post about antenatal music after writing a rant about the shiteness of my job a week earlier. [...]

By: Got on this morn’ and I’ll be there by morning light | A Free Man

Mon, 11 May 2009 13:21:47 +0000

[...] *Oh, and by the way, I quit job number 2 today… [...]

By: NATUI

NATUI — Mon, 04 May 2009 02:38:27 +0000

As soon as I read “husband-wife team” that clinched it for me. My dream/nightmare job was at a school run by a micro-managing husband-wife team. The love of the job was completely overshadowing by the crazy shit they pulled. My situation and the way it was handled was a white hot mess, so I have nothing to offer you but a firm handshake to comfort you, yet maintain your personal space comfort level.

NATUIs last blog post..Let’s Just Call It What It Is

By: nursemyra

nursemyra — Sat, 02 May 2009 11:33:39 +0000

I haven't read any of the previous comments but hopefully that won't matter. If I were you I'd QUIT that second job. right now. Life's too short to put up with the kind of crap the CEO and his wife are handing out. nursemyras last blog post..clicketty click sixty six

By: blues

blues — Fri, 01 May 2009 22:02:14 +0000

As you know, I recently quit a job that was eating me alive. I understand Dr. O.C´s points. They are certainly valid. My husband made the same ones when I was pleading with the universe to help me decide what to do.
I felt foolish for quitting my job in this economy. But it was the only thing I could do to light a fire under my ass and look for change. And I found it. I earn a third less than in my previous job. My husband is out of work now, so we are financially in a rut, but we are going to make it on my salary, we won´t starve or have to pawn his drumset. Regardless of all this, I am so so so much happier.

The company you work for is structurally fucked. It´s not going to get better around there for you if the screwiness comes from the very top. It´s not like once one of the micromanagers is gone, everything will be blue skies. It´s going to wear on you and wear you down and pull you down and make you feel like you´re being dragged through life. You won´t be happy there.

So, I think the question is not IF to quit, it´s WHEN to quit. Quit now or be patient and know it´s a matter of time and find your zen in that knowledge while you look for other possible writing jobs, since that is what you love.

By: mongoliangirl

mongoliangirl — Fri, 01 May 2009 14:21:17 +0000

The problem for me here is the “either/or” nature of your question. Clearly (because of being asked to lie on reports) this is not the proper job for you. Clearly. However, what would it be like if you stayed while aggressively seeking another position?
This is what I believe, Free Man: There is a position ‘out there’ that is seeking your exact skills. I can only imagine your education, experience and skill set are highly attractive to many companies and organizations. I can even imagine you could look for open positions outside of your locale and telecommute.
Your question seems to be bogging you down and, I believe, causes Dr. OC’s concern to be valid. I too would be highly concerned if one of the options included the possibility of no income or future prospects.
Instead of answering your question which, again, I believe is far too “either/or” in nature, I challenge you to do this:
1) Stay with your current position while
2) Standing firm that you will not lie as you
3) Scour the universe for your new job which
4) I suggest will show up lots faster if you let go of the fucking outcome and get busy in the here and now with #3

mongoliangirls last blog post..Blogging Improves Craigslist! (Actually, some kind of comparative essay about different kinds of shit. Like, figurative and literal shit. Kind of. OK, not really.)

By: sarala

sarala — Fri, 01 May 2009 13:40:09 +0000

I can't go into details but I was in a bit of a whistleblower position once regarding some misconduct at work. Two colleagues and I held our ground and amazingly when time came up for a new contract year/promotion no one would respond to my e-mails. I wasn't fired, just ignored. So I gave two weeks' notice and quit. I've had a couple of jobs since but I now work for myself because I have trouble working for people with poor ethical standards and worse management style. It was a real loss for me because my career dream had always been to be an academic. I guess it wasn't meant to be. In this economy and with a second child on the way you may not feel you have the luxury of quitting (or maybe you do) but at least know that other people know how it feels to be stuck in a vise. saralas last blog post..Swine!

By: A Free Man

A Free Man — Fri, 01 May 2009 13:39:39 +0000

Prefers – I don’t know about the last statement, but I do think that the University is a more secure (and sane) environment. What I’m thinking now is to dump the company and try my damndest to spend the next eight months showing the university just how valuable I am.

Suzer – One of these days I’ll get past my natural antipathy for my fellow countrymen and get to one of these expat gatherings!

JChev – That’s exactly what I’ve been thinking. Without risk there is no reward. I’m stuck right now, but I think I’m going to get unstuck.

Jacob – I’ve decided to annoy them in much more passive aggressive ways. For example, I’m following some company directives to the letter which leaves our micro-managing VP out of the loop. Petty. Hell yeah.

cIII – I don’t know that I need adventure or excitement at this point in my life. I’ve had enough. I’d like a bit of security, but not at the expense of my sanity.

Courtney – I don’t think I would ever get a good recommendation out of these bastards. Maybe my line manager or something.

Gypsy – Moderation. Interesting approach.

Arizapahale – Eight months. But still.

Andrea – If you see my post from today, you’ll see why I’m blaming you for a spot of sadness tonight. I think I made the wrong choice. Although, I guess I can make a different choice on Monday.

Kitty – I’m prepared to do most things, as long as I respect the people that I work for.

Lailani – I’m pretty sure you and Dr. O’C would get along very well.

Allie – The family business thing is a good one to avoid. I know that. Now.

CMGD – It won’t sour me on writing. Like I said, when I’m left alone to get on with it, I enjoy the work. And I do a damn good job. I’m just not left alone to get on with it.

Mimi – I don’t know about research, but as you and others have pointed out, maybe I don’t get to pick and choose everything.

TUB – I really like my coworkers, keeps me from hating the day too much.

We Be Toys – Thanks for the congrats!

Angel – What I’ve got in my head right now is to spend the next few days coming up with a master plan. One to convince my special lady friend that we’ll be OK. She’s risk averse – again, one of the things I love about her – but sometimes we have to take a risk.

A Free Mans last blog post..(Not so) Giant Steps

By: Angel

Angel — Fri, 01 May 2009 09:47:18 +0000

Holy cow I’m late to the party, but it looks like it’s been quite the party.

I’m sorry, but I fail to see why you’re still agonizing over this. If this were your ONLY job, yep, you’d have to suck it up, put on your big boy pants, and deal with it. I’d be yelling even louder than Dr. O’C! But it isn’t. It’s your second job. You can quit it now, save your sanity, and you’ll still be supporting your family. Maybe with not quite as much money, but being miserable isn’t worth it. You’ll make them miserable, too.

Oh.. and did I mention… wait for it… you still have the other job? For the rest of this year? So, that gives you the rest of this year to find permanent employment, right? I don’t see how you can successfully look for employment while you’re working two jobs right now.

You stay there, and it’s going to get worse. You’re going to find yourself exhausted all the time, no desire to do anything even once you’re home with the family. You’re going to get hateful and bitter and it’s going to hurt every other aspect of your life.

My husband recently made the decision to switch up his employment a little. He was dealing with the same type of things (in the pharmacutical world, no less) and even though it’s going to take a little money and even a little more time together away from us, I had to agree to let him do it. It was that, or his health and sanity. He had honestly put it off as long as he could.

Now, if you’ve already figured everything out, sorry. Just ignore everything I’ve said! Good luck!

By: we_be_toys

we_be_toys — Fri, 01 May 2009 03:38:05 +0000

Jesus, I have missed a few things! I just read back through the comments and I hear you guys are expecting mini-monkey #2? Congrats, and Oh, Snap! Guess the pressure IS on.
When it rains it pours, doesn’t it?
Still think the University is the place to stick it out – the boss couple sound like riskier business to me.