I wasn’t going to write this post. I said to myself, ‘Self, you’ve written enough about this work thing. Everything isn’t all about you. People are sick of you moaning about work. Move on.”
But then I realized that one of my selves was a moron, because what is my blog about if not me? For reasons that I still don’t understand, a lot of you are interested in what goes on in the life of a fairly average guy who is teetering on middle age. I realized that I couldn’t get away with a throwaway line at the end of a post about antenatal music after writing a rant about the shiteness of my job a week earlier.
I had no intention of quitting my job yesterday. Things had actually been going OK for the last week. Upper management was leaving me be – staying out of my way and letting me do my job.
But I came in on Monday to find my line manager on holiday this week which left me reporting directly to the maniacally micro-managing VP. We had a workman coming to service our heater at home today and I told her that I needed to work from home – a common scenario. The job I do there, scientific writing, is tailor made for working remotely. She initially said OK, but half an hour later came downstairs and said that she “couldn’t help me this time.” I was initially unsure what she was talking about as I wasn’t actually asking for help. But as it sunk in, that confusion quickly turned into a barely containable blinding white fury.
I was so angry that I was shaking. But I managed to restrain the tone and volume of my voice as I expressed my
dissatisfaction with this situation. I explained that I had been working from home since I started with the company. I explained that the only thing that made this job workable for me was the flexibility regarding hours and location. I said that I had a decision to make and would let her know by the end of the day.
It might seem trivial to you, quitting because the company wouldn’t let me work from home, but the only way that this two job arrangement ever worked was flexibility on the part of both employers. There are all sorts of reasons why this particular incident was the proverbial back breaking straw, but ultimately this decision – whatever the reasons for it – made it impossible for me to continue to work two jobs. In a choice between a job doing work that I love for people I respect and a job doing work that I love for people I loathe, well there’s no decision.
I had already made the decision to leave and would have quit right then but for two things. First, I had to make sure that Dr. O’C approved. She did. Second, conveniently, I had a performance review at the university yesterday afternoon. I needed to make sure they weren’t going to sack me. They weren’t.
After my meeting with the university, I went back to my writing job and rang the VP and told her that I quit- to consider this my four weeks notice – and I drafted a letter:
- I told them why I was quitting.
- I reminded them that we had made a gentleman’s agreement when I started regarding working remotely and that I was disappointed that they couldn’t hold up their end of that gentleman’s agreement.
- I reminded them that this arrangement had been extremely beneficial to them when I was working late at night and on weekends in order to finish projects on arbitrary and hastily established deadlines.
- I told them that this incident and some others in the last few weeks led me to conclude that they were questioning my integrity and that this was insulting and demeaning.
- I told them that the culture of blame endemic in the organization had turned what had begun as a dream job for me into a job that I could no longer tolerate.
I pressed ‘Send’ and walked away.
On the bus about halfway home I got a call from our receptionist. She apologized and said that the CEO needed me to come back and sign a report that had to be released that day.
I laughed. Long and low and free.
“(Receptionist), tell (CEO) that I said to go fuck himself.”
Am I relieved? Yes. Euphoric? No. I spent the day so wound up in emotion that by the time I got home, I was just exhausted. Today is definitely brighter, however. There is a weight off my shoulders that seems to have cured the low level headache that has plagued me for the last couple of months. My head feels clearer and my spirit lighter.
I feel neither regret nor fear of the future. Because no matter what happens, Dr. O’C, Boy Z and I will be OK. There’s something that has become clear to me in the last few years – life gets better. Regardless of little peaks and valleys, there is a steady upward trajectory. Leaving this job opens the door to the next opportunity, one that will almost certainly be better than the one that preceded it. I can’t wait.
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by Jacob
13 May 2009 at 00:05
Congrats. I once told off a principal of mine who had blatantly lied to cover her own forgetfulness, an incident that led to another colleague of mine to getting fired. The principal’s lie, not my confrontation of my boss. It was infinitely fulfilling, even when she came in to yell at me about not knowing who I was messing with while a student was in the room with me.
It may have cost me a job at a high school in a nearby county now that I think about it. I thought the interview went well, but I didn’t get the job and ended up having to move back to my hometown. Then again, they could have just found a better qualified teacher for that position, but I wouldn’t be surprised if my old boss had made a phone call, and I’m one of the least suspicious people ever.
by Nathan B.
13 May 2009 at 00:14
I was hoping your exit from the company would be more like Jennifer Aniston quitting Chotchkies in “Office Space”…
by Gypsy
13 May 2009 at 00:22
If you’re relieved, I’m relieved. There’s nothing quite like losing that weighted down feeling.
Gypsys last blog post..My people
by JChevais
13 May 2009 at 00:30
It doesn’t seem trivial to me. When I quit my loathesome job I shredded all of the passwords for which I was the only person that had them, emptied my computer of everything (all my emails and everything on the hard drive) and never showed up at that place again. I got lots of phone calls that first week. Hmm.
Let that be a lesson. I may have been low man on the totem pole, but god damn it, I had enough clout that research papers didn’t get published because they messed with their desktop publisher (me).
Oooo. I still feel a rush of bitter satisfaction.
by Here In Franklin
13 May 2009 at 00:43
Good for you. I’m VERY jealous.
Here In Franklins last blog post..The Prettiest Restaurant in the World
by SSG
13 May 2009 at 00:47
yep, I think whatever steps you take, you’re still going forward, and whatever mistakes you make, you’re learning not to make them again. I think this means I will be happiest right before I die.
But well done dude, and the letter you wrote sounds a peach.
SSGs last blog post..I believe in miracles, since you came along
by Damon
13 May 2009 at 01:00
Congratulations. You can close the book on a very unpleasant chapter in your working life. Way to given ‘em the reasoning as to why you’re leaving the company. I personally would have made something up as to not hurt their little feelings.
Great PMO and as they say “one door closes, another one opens.”
Damons last blog post..The new family pet
by arizaphale
13 May 2009 at 01:06
I am so smilin’ for you here. Especially the on the bus bit.
arizaphales last blog post..Mother’s day: Farewell 09
by SSG
13 May 2009 at 01:29
http://www.lyricsmode.com/lyrics/c/cast/walk_away.html
by sarala
13 May 2009 at 01:34
Good luck to you. I totally agree about the road being up hill in the good sense.
saralas last blog post..Colorful on Monday
by maggie, dammit
13 May 2009 at 01:45
“Life gets better. Regardless of little peaks and valleys, there is a steady upward trajectory.”
YES. Yes, yes, yes. Perfectly put.
Congrats on what is certainly upward motion.
by mongoliangirl
13 May 2009 at 01:49
“I laughed. Long and low and free.”
The best kind of laugh in the world.
mongoliangirls last blog post..She’s a good, good girl
by we_be_toys
13 May 2009 at 01:49
“Take this job and shove it, I ain’t workin’ here no more!”
Yeah man, SO glad to hear you’re out of that place, and that the university has your back for the time being. You shouldn’t have to work under those kind of conditions. Is it nosey of me to want to know the dick- er , boss’ reaction to your suggestion of self- induced copulation? Aren’t moments like Suh-weet?!
we_be_toyss last blog post..Because This Is How Lazy I Am These Days
by Cat
13 May 2009 at 02:32
Good for you. I especially like the long, low laugh.
Cats last blog post..Take a Peek at Cat’s Mother’s Day Cards
by courtney
13 May 2009 at 02:44
Well played, sir. Well played indeed.
I’m going to copy that last paragraph and put it in a place where I can see it every day. My own career issues are really weighing me down at the moment, and I could use a constant reminder that things will be better. Thanks.
courtneys last blog post..The Pier
by NATUI
13 May 2009 at 03:22
I am loving the go fuck yourself line. As much as I would love to think I would have gone that far, I probably wouldn’t have. You are my hero.
But, if this was considered four weeks notice, does that mean you have to go back in? Or will you work from home for those four weeks? Or tell them to go fuck themselves? I hope it is the latter.
And Dr. O’C: I love you for the faith you have in AFM, your marriage and the future. You rock.
NATUIs last blog post..Mus Musculus, Luteal Phase Waxing
by Xbox4NappyRash
13 May 2009 at 04:35
Good on you. It’s not often you can make a decision like that, follow it through with gusto, and not regret it.
Xbox4NappyRashs last blog post..Concurring with the Boomtown Rats
by Noble Savage
13 May 2009 at 06:12
Congratulations! The relief must be so freeing…
Noble Savages last blog post..Well, I’ve got a brand new pair of roller skates
by tysdaddy
13 May 2009 at 07:01
I’m hoping you’re right. My trajectory seems to be all downhill at breakneck speed . . .
However, congrats. I’m glad your headache is lessening . . .
tysdaddys last blog post..The Ride
by Dr O'C
13 May 2009 at 09:09
Saying I ‘approved’ might be a bit strong:) I figured you were itching to quit anyway and I made it clear you would have to pack shelves at the Walmart equivalent in your favourite shopping mall if you didn’t get a replacement job.
by Gwen Jackson
13 May 2009 at 10:37
I’m happy that you finally did it. Your relief is practically palpable from your words.
I find myself, at times, thinking I need to censor my blog, make it more palatable for my readers. I worry that if I post about a particular topic too often, or if I’m too honest or raw, they’ll stop coming back. But I realize it’s my blog and it’s for me and about me. Apparently, there’s something in me and you and all the rest of the bloggers that has people interested in our lives. For the record, I don’t think you’re average at all. You have an interesting mind and you’re a great writer.
Gwen Jacksons last blog post..Middle Age Suicide, Don’t Do It
by Carolyn Online
13 May 2009 at 11:32
Yay you! Been there. Done that. Told that guy to fuck off. It was lovely.
Carolyn Onlines last blog post..I think you can see it’s not me, it’s him.
by admin
13 May 2009 at 13:03
Jacob – That’s one thing that I do worry about, that they’ll try to slander my name in what is more or less a small town. I think, however, that they’ve got a pretty bad reputation anyway. I’m about the thirtieth person in the last three years to leave a company of about 25 employees.
Nathan – It was a figurative single fingered salute, my friend.
Gypsy – Thanks.
J Chev – I’m tempted to sabotage but instead I think I’ll just make sure that I use up all my sick days in the next four weeks…
HIF – Nothing to be jealous about!
SSG – I should have kept a copy of the e-mail so I could post it, but I forgot.
Damon – I couldn’t have left without telling them what I thought. If I were a bit braver I would have really told them what I thought.
Ariza – Cheers. Just got your text by the way.
SSG – I prefer the Franz Ferdinand version:
And as you walk away
My headstone crumbles down
As you walk away
The Hollywood winds will howl
As you walk away
The Kremlin’s falling
As you walk away
Radio Four is static
Not about leaving a job, but great damn song!
Sarala – It totally is, especially if you see it that way.
Maggie – Thanks!
Mongola – Isn’t it. God it felt good.
OK, got a toddler to get down for his nap, back later to finish off these responses.
by chris
13 May 2009 at 13:14
A little scary yes but like I said before, you guys are intelligent, resourceful people who I’m guessing could make just about anything work, together.
Now do what Dr. OC said and start looking. My husband has a masters and with the us market being what it was and the job level he was looking at, it took three months to actually get a job. The interviews, tests, etc were allpretty time consuming and it seemed that although companies were still hiring, they were dragging their feet to get the funding for positions, waiting for requests to be approved… So there is no time like the present. Then, if the U extends your contract, no worries but if they don’t, you have a head start.
Yes, I’m sure you are hearing enough of this at home but she’s right:)
And Chris, congrats on getting that giant albatross off your back.
chriss last blog post..Daddy Done Good
by Southern (in)Sanity
13 May 2009 at 13:22
“(Receptionist), tell (CEO) that I said to go fuck himself.”
Outstanding.
I’m glad that Dr. O’C was OK with your decision. Like you said, y’all will be fine.
by Ginny
13 May 2009 at 13:31
I thought about this post a couple of times today. And every time I did, I couldn’t wipe the silly grin off my face. I’m so happy for you. (And glad that Dr. O’C was OK with it. Because you don’t piss off a pregnant woman and live to tell the tell. It just doesn’t happen.)
by Erin
13 May 2009 at 13:53
Awesome job! I mean terrible job, but awesome of you to tell them to f off. It sounds like you have made the best decision you could have and it is wonderful to know that Dr. O’C supported you and the university still wants you. You are right, life does get better as you go. You are moving up and you’ve got nothing but good to look forward to. Congrats!
Erins last blog post..All That Glitters IS Gold
by Joe @ IrrationalDad
13 May 2009 at 13:53
I’m with NATUI with the confusion. Did you give a four week notice then just say “fuck it”?
I’m happy for you for making the tough decision. It’s impossible (for me at least) to “leave your work at work”, so being unhappy there, will have a bearing on your personal life. I commend your courage, and Dr. O’C’s reluctant support.
Joe @ IrrationalDads last blog post..Tyler’s love of the B.S.
by Florida Girl in Sydney
13 May 2009 at 14:08
Isn’t quitting a shitty job just the best?? You will be okay, you will find something far better. That’s why this kind of thing happens– to bring you something much much better.
I guess it’s too late for a cliche like, don’t burn your bridges, huh?
Florida Girl in Sydneys last blog post..Mothers Day and Me
by heather
13 May 2009 at 14:30
I, myself, would have been of great use in Napoleon’s campaigns, as I love burnt bridges.
Good for you.
heathers last blog post..Sh, but I was offered a new J-O-B
by Monty
13 May 2009 at 15:26
I’m both happy for you and envious as fuck, at the same time.
Montys last blog post..It’s a small world. Too effing small.
by blues
13 May 2009 at 18:11
I’m so glad you made this decision. This is a step forward, as you said, these kinds of big changes just are. It gives you an immense feeling of control over your life to take the bull by the horns instead of letting it throw you around.
bluess last blog post..This place is driving me insane
by admin
13 May 2009 at 19:54
We Be Toys – I don’t know as he used an intermediary and I doubt she would have quoted me literally, but I’m pretty sure he wouldn’t be happy with a ‘no’. He doesn’t tend to respond well to ‘no’.
Cat – Thanks.
Courtney – They will be, I know you’ve struggled lately. That’s probably building up karma for an outstanding job for you somewhere out on the horizon.
NATUI – I have to give four weeks notice and as far as I know I have to work it. But that doesn’t mean I have to be an obedient drone. Think Office Space post hypnosis. I also have some sick days to use up. I think I feel a cold coming on.
Xbox – I didn’t really make the decision, it was made for me in a sense. They put me in an untenable situation. I may be paranoid, but I think it was intentional.
NS & Tysdaddy – Thanks!
Dr. O’C – I’ll be working at Target thank you very much.
Gwen – Thanks. I guess I just don’t want this to become a public whining page.
Carolyn – It is indeed.
Chris – Oh good, another ’sensible’ woman to tell me what to do
SIS – I know.
Ginny – Glad I could be of service.
by Rol
13 May 2009 at 22:13
Congratulations. I’m secretly envious, of course. I shall quit my own job vicariously through you today.
by The Unbearable Banishment
13 May 2009 at 22:24
First the euphoria. Then, the heavy weight of unemployment. But wait! You already have another yob! A perfect scenario. Here’s some free advice: Going forward, I’d be cautious about burning bridges on the way out. It could bite you in the ass somewhere down the road. I speak from experience.
by Lara
13 May 2009 at 22:56
I can only imagine how wonderful it feels to know you’re leaving that mess behind.
Change and uncertainty are scary… sometimes it’s nice when people make the choice so much more simple, isn’t it?
by Angel
13 May 2009 at 23:55
Absolutely outstanding!
by admin
14 May 2009 at 13:52
Erin – I’m currently busting my ass to make sure my lectures are outstanding!
Joe – It already is, I’m walking around smiling more. I can focus on other things.
FGIS – I’m not going to burn anything, but I’m also not going to go above and beyond for them in the next three and a half weeks.
Heather – For some reason I’m not surprised that you’re a bridge burner.
TUB – There’s really two schools of thought on the whole bridge burning isn’t there? I’m a firm believer in karma, so I’m going to try to keep mine in good shape.