I wasn’t going to write this post. I said to myself, ‘Self, you’ve written enough about this work thing. Everything isn’t all about you. People are sick of you moaning about work. Move on.”

But then I realized that one of my selves was a moron, because what is my blog about if not me? For reasons that I still don’t understand, a lot of you are interested in what goes on in the life of a fairly average guy who is teetering on middle age. I realized that I couldn’t get away with a throwaway line at the end of a post about antenatal music after writing a rant about the shiteness of my job a week earlier.

I had no intention of quitting my job yesterday. Things had actually been going OK for the last week. Upper management was leaving me be – staying out of my way and letting me do my job.

But I came in on Monday to find my line manager on holiday this week which left me reporting directly to the maniacally micro-managing VP. We had a workman coming to service our heater at home today and I told her that I needed to work from home – a common scenario. The job I do there, scientific writing, is tailor made for working remotely. She initially said OK, but half an hour later came downstairs and said that she “couldn’t help me this time.” I was initially unsure what she was talking about as I wasn’t actually asking for help. But as it sunk in, that confusion quickly turned into a barely containable blinding white fury.

I was so angry that I was shaking. But I managed to restrain the tone and volume of my voice as I expressed my dissatisfaction with this situation. I explained that I had been working from home since I started with the company. I explained that the only thing that made this job workable for me was the flexibility regarding hours and location. I said that I had a decision to make and would let her know by the end of the day.

It might seem trivial to you, quitting because the company wouldn’t let me work from home, but the only way that this two job arrangement ever worked was flexibility on the part of both employers. There are all sorts of reasons why this particular incident was the proverbial back breaking straw, but ultimately this decision – whatever the reasons for it – made it impossible for me to continue to work two jobs. In a choice between a job doing work that I love for people I respect and a job doing work that I love for people I loathe, well there’s no decision.

I had already made the decision to leave and would have quit right then but for two things. First, I had to make sure that Dr. O’C approved. She did. Second, conveniently, I had a performance review at the university yesterday afternoon. I needed to make sure they weren’t going to sack me. They weren’t.

After my meeting with the university, I went back to my writing job and rang the VP and told her that I quit- to consider this my four weeks notice – and I drafted a letter:

  • I told them why I was quitting.
  • I reminded them that we had made a gentleman’s agreement when I started regarding working remotely and that I was disappointed that they couldn’t hold up their end of that gentleman’s agreement.
  • I reminded them that this arrangement had been extremely beneficial to them when I was working late at night and on weekends in order to finish projects on arbitrary and hastily established deadlines.
  • I told them that this incident and some others in the last few weeks led me to conclude that they were questioning my integrity and that this was insulting and demeaning.
  • I told them that the culture of blame endemic in the organization had turned what had begun as a dream job for me into a job that I could no longer tolerate.

I pressed ‘Send’ and walked away.

On the bus about halfway home I got a call from our receptionist. She apologized and said that the CEO needed me to come back and sign a report that had to be released that day.

I laughed. Long and low and free.

“(Receptionist), tell (CEO) that I said to go fuck himself.”

Am I relieved? Yes. Euphoric? No. I spent the day so wound up in emotion that by the time I got home, I was just exhausted. Today is definitely brighter, however. There is a weight off my shoulders that seems to have cured the low level headache that has plagued me for the last couple of months. My head feels clearer and my spirit lighter.

I feel neither regret nor fear of the future. Because no matter what happens, Dr. O’C, Boy Z and I will be OK. There’s something that has become clear to me in the last few years – life gets better. Regardless of little peaks and valleys, there is a steady upward trajectory. Leaving this job opens the door to the next opportunity, one that will almost certainly be better than the one that preceded it. I can’t wait.

—————————

Buy Nirvana’s “In Utero” from Nirvana - In Utero.

Image credits:

Walk Away 1

Walk Away 2

I quit.

 
icon for podpress  Nirvana "Scentless Apprentice" [3:48m]: Play Now | Play in Popup | Download

Popularity: 16% [?]