Boy Z has been swimming since he was about four months old. By swimming I don’t mean the 200m butterfly, of course, but various water baby classes both in Oxford and here in Adelaide. They allow the kids to get comfortable in the water and teach basic safety, something that we felt was important for kids growing up in Australia. For most of that time, he has loved it and I have as well. The structure of the classes gives me an opportunity to spend quality time with the boy without having to come up with creative ways of keeping him entertained and out of trouble.
For the first six months that he was in swimming classes in Australia, he was a model student – a water baby star. When the instructor wanted someone to demonstrate something she turned to Boy Z and I. Sometimes it was difficult to perform various manouvers – what with my chest all swollen with pride – but we did our best. He moved up the baby swimming ladder at like a spider monkey after a low hanging banana and I was convinced that he would be ready for the Olympics come 2016. Phrases like ‘youngest gold medal swimmer in Australian history’ rang gaily in my head.
Ah, those were the days. The heady days of December.
But lately he’s not doing so well. For the last few months, every single class is a struggle. He just will not do any of the exercises without screaming, yelling and fighting. He insists on having his hands full of toys, making any actual swimming impossible. All the other toddlers are happily going about their business – doing ‘dips’ under water, clambering out of the pool, leaping off the side into the waiting arms of their proud parents. My kid – sits scowling on the steps with 19 balls in his hands and screeches every time I try to get him to do anything.
God I hate swimming.
The people at the swim center have been helpful, offering the advice to let the kid just do what makes him happy. The most important thing is that he’s happy in the pool. If need be, let him play on his own for the whole class and he’ll come out of this phase. Just relax and enjoy the time together.
But that drives me insane. I know he can do it. He has done it. Why won’t he do it now. DO IT BOY Z! Dammit!
Now, I don’t want to be one of those Dads. You know, the ones that are banned from all manner of little league sidelines and dugouts. I don’t want to be a high pressure father. But this is a most embarrassing predicament. Back in the halcyon days when Boy Z was the model student, we used to snicker and smirk at other students who struggled in the way that we are now. Karma is a bitch.
I don’t even want to go anymore, but I paid for the term.But more than that, I don’t want to be a quitter.
Quitting is something I’ve excelled at in my life. Piano lessons, swim team, youth soccer, university, jobs, relationships – you name it, I’ve quit it. I’m not proud of this and one of my goals as a father is not to pass on this particular trait. I want to make sure that Boy Z and his sibling know that it is OK to fail at something as long as you keep trying. Preferable, in fact. I want to hammer home that cliche about the going getting tough and the tough getting going.
If I quit swimming lessons, I’m afraid that I’ve given the boy a gentle push down a slippery slope.
I know he’s only 20 months old and chances are if we quit now, he won’t remember ever having taken swimming lessons. I know this sounds mad. But I’ve never claimed to be entirely sane.
———————-
Great Lake Swimmers, the vehicle for Canadian singer-songwriter Tony Dekker, has a new full-length LP out. ‘Lost Channels’ is a very strong album from an artist who keeps getting better. The new one has tones of early R.E.M. and marks a musical progression from his last record. Dekker features highly on my list of ‘good guys’ – he’s recorded some wonderful music for kids and even sat down for an interview with me. If you like “Pulling on a Line”, buy “Lost Channels” from
.
Popularity: 19% [?]

Stumble Upon
Del.icio.us
Buzz















by nursemyra
22 May 2009 at 20:22
I’ve got no advice re the swimming. But I love the photos!
nursemyras last blog post..corset friday 22.5.2009
by Florida Girl In Sydney
22 May 2009 at 20:41
They may let you put your lessons on hold and pick it back up when you’re ready– they keep your money, but you do the lessons later? We recently had a falling in a pool incident– horrible, horrible, horrible– we need swimming lessons.
Florida Girl In Sydneys last blog post..Yeah, Mom– it’s soup alright.
by arizaphale
22 May 2009 at 20:46
They are absolutely right of course. The thing about child develeopment is that it goes in fits and starts. While one thing is developing, something else becomes dormant. The child who is trying to walk will make less effort to be articulate and vice versa. I think Boy Z has swimming down for the moment and is working on something else. You don’t know what that is but you can be sure that something else is cooking in there. The difficulty for those of us who are outcome oriented is that we want to see progress. We want a clear plan and to be taking steps to implement that plan. It gives us a sense of control
This is yet another of those lessons which parenthood teaches us about relinquishing control. He will get over it. Quicker if you don’t push, but you know that.
arizaphales last blog post..Theme Thursday: Relaxation.
by Joe
22 May 2009 at 20:58
We’ve taken a term off of the swimming lessons. Tyler LOVES the water and did GREAT his first term of classes. When the next one started, there were 3x as many people. The instructor says that there is always an increase when the weather starts to warm up. Tyler didn’t do so well with all the crowding. We finished the term but didn’t renew.
Maybe Z needs a break to remember how much he enjoyed it. Perhaps he’s taking it for granted (can kids do that at such a young age?).
Joes last blog post..I didn’t even see the spoor!
by Prefers Her Fantasy Life
22 May 2009 at 21:56
Karma is a bitch. I say quit and do something that makes you both happy.
Prefers Her Fantasy Lifes last blog post..Shacking Up With The Boyfriend: A San Francisco Treat
by Monty
22 May 2009 at 22:07
I signed up for swimming class, at college. Then my friend told me about how he used to go to the swimming pool in the morning before everyone else, to pee in it. Apparently the thought of everyone else swimming in his piss was his idea of a good time.
Somehow, after that, I never quite worked up the desire to learn.
Learning to play the drums wasn’t such a bad alternative.
Really nice pics btw.
Montys last blog post..Children of the Corn.
by Cat
22 May 2009 at 22:30
AFM, you remind me so much of myself, except for the penis/ovaries thing. If a gold medal was given for quitting, I could have been a champion. As I got older, I went even one step further. I didn’t even try anything I didn’t think I’d be great at.
Hippie did track this year for the first time, and she was terrible at it and hated it. I told her, she might be the slowest runner on the team, but she wasn’t the slowest runner at school because most of those kids wouldn’t join the team because they didn’t want to be the slowest person on the team. Then I had to admit I was one of those kids who missed out on a lot of stuff, because I wouldn’t subject myself to not being the best. She said she felt a lot better and she stuck with it the whole season.
Don’t quit swimming. I know everybody says it’s just a stage with Boy Z, but everybody says it because that is what it is.
Cats last blog post..Daddy
by mongoliangirl
22 May 2009 at 22:35
Ugh! Just last night one of my sponsees said, “I want to be a finisher, not a quitter.” Damn! Why the distinction? Oh well…see what you come up with, eh?
Also, I love every photo!
mongoliangirls last blog post..Some Lovin’ From my Oven
by Jacob
22 May 2009 at 23:03
Isn’t Boy Z about 2? I’ve got the explanation: 2-year-olds are assholes. I should know. I’ve officially had one for a week now. Suddenly, the last few weeks he’s pretty much hated me. Every morning it’s “No, Daddy, No!” and “Go away” and crying if I even walk in the room. Last night when it was my turn to put him to bed I got a good “Get out!”.
He still doesn’t mind me around when he’s fully awake, fed, and not missing his mom, but that’s only a couple of hours during the day. It’s just weird. I’ve been there as much as my wife has since his was born two years and a week ago. I stayed up late with him that first summer so my wife could sleep. I’ve carried him on my back on day hikes.
I know he’ll grow out of it, and while he’s in this stage I have an excuse to be lazier, but it does get a little frustrating at times.
Jacobs last blog post.."Two Sheets Were Laid Down to Protect the Oriental Carpets"
by Gwen Jackson
23 May 2009 at 01:33
I’m having a similar issue with my daughter in dance. She was loving it and all the cute outfits. Now she throws a temper tantrum the morning of the class and we have to bribe her to stay in there. I think your son is getting older and starting to develop his little personality. Maybe he is just having some anxiety about the swimming because he is getting a better understanding of “dangers” in the world. So the swimming and the pool just are more of a threat to him now, hence his resistance. I don’t think you should give up. Just reassure him. Maybe even change the time of his class, if you are able. Maybe he is feeling more tired at that time of day now and more cranky. I know for my daughter, her dance class is just too early for her. If it was later it would be easier I think. I don’t think you’re a high pressure father to want great thing for your son, to expect him to reach his full potential. Obviously, part of growing is making mistakes and failing. That’s an important message. But there’s nothing wrong with thinking our kids are going to some pretty awesome things with their lives. Good luck. (And you’re not a quitter if you stop the swimming. If you decide to do so, I’m sure your son won’t remember!)
Gwen Jacksons last blog post..Afterbath
by The Unbearable Banishment
23 May 2009 at 01:37
Isn’t that the best? When your kid is singled out as a good example? It’s like crack for a parent. And I’m with you on quitting. I indulged in it far too often. I hope I don’t pass the quitting gene on to The Daughters.
The Unbearable Banishments last blog post..the hazard of glowing reviews
by Here In Franklin
23 May 2009 at 02:05
I don’t have any advice, but I must say that this post made me miss the pool at my old house. At least you know he’s not scared of the water, so you’ve crossed that hurdle.
Here In Franklins last blog post..Tradition, or Silver the Wonder Pony
by Theresa B
23 May 2009 at 02:11
Can you bribe a child that young? As a non-parent that strikes me as the easiest solution… Or craigslist him, but I think they frown upon that.
Theresa Bs last blog post..No Bluebird of Happiness, Just the Scrubjay of Stupidity
by Jud
23 May 2009 at 06:53
Well, I know with my kid, some things just happened. There are some times when she is all about reading; next week, couldn’t give a rip.
Same thing with music or whatever. Little One tried baseball for two years and hated it. Now she wants to play again. For her, it may have more to do with the socializing than the exercise, but whatever floats her boat.
Juds last blog post..A Slave is A Slave
by NATUI
23 May 2009 at 06:57
The hoarding of balls and shrieking visual has us cracking up here. Next summer, the pendulum will have shifted again. For now, you are right about the Karma thing. She’s got you bent over a barrel. Enjoying the rogering.
NATUIs last blog post..Back Away From the Band-Aids
by Andrea
23 May 2009 at 08:27
Sounds like Boy Z has decided that he won’t be taking swimming lessons anymore. That instead, you will be taking lessons in patience, negotiation and persistance. Don’t let him win! Oh and I was wondering if you’ve tried deceitfulness and trickery: will Boy Z jump in the water if one of his balls is thrown in first? Will he get out if said ball is taken out?
by Trish
23 May 2009 at 09:29
I’m trying to get my eight year old to commit to twice-a-week squad training. She said she wanted to do it after she came 2nd in a district race and wants to come first next time, but the reality of going to the pool and doing 20 laps… well. Once she’s in the water she’s OK, and she says she enjoys it once she’s out again, but the drive to the pool is a nightmare. At what stage do you stop pushing your kids to do something that they seem to want to do at the same time as saying they don’t want to do?
Trishs last blog post..There is no ricotta cheese in this recipe. I swear.
by yellojkt
23 May 2009 at 13:25
Sounds like Michael Phelps can sleep easy tonight. That is cool that he is even bouncing around in the water at that age.
yellojkts last blog post..The Heart Of Rock And Roll
by Mom
23 May 2009 at 13:42
Hang in there. This will pass. It is a stage and will pass. I agree with the premise that if you have paid for the lessons, they will continue. Just persevere and it will get better. Love mom
by admin
25 May 2009 at 14:30
Thanks all for advice. In short, we’re going to keep going to swimming until I get over my crap and he gets over his! Good times.
by Gypsy
27 May 2009 at 03:01
Here in FLA, I grew up with a pool in the backyard, and boy do I miss it. I remember taking lessons at the Y as a wee thing, but I was in the water from babyhood. Today when I hear of people who can’t swim, it kind of astounds me.
Keep at it! I think the instructors are right — he’ll come back around.
Gypsys last blog post..68 going on 28
by Coal Miner's Granddaughter
27 May 2009 at 05:07
It’s because he’s a toddler. And he’s establishing his independence. And seeing where he fits in the Free Man’s world. And I bet if you drove him to the pool and sat there and told him, “Nope, no lessons today. We’re just going to watch.” he would scream to get into that pool.
They just want what they want and it’s most likely in opposition to what we want for them.
Ah, parenthood.
Coal Miner’s Granddaughters last blog post..Dialog, Part 24
by we_be_toys
28 May 2009 at 01:15
Alas for your Olympic dreams, but the image of him sitting on the steps with 19 balls and screeching? Priceless! He is obviously a strong-minded young man, who already is feeling a bit of the teen angst – oh wait, that’s MY oldest kid! I think the pool folks are right – just give him his head. The less you fuss over it, the less he’ll try to cross you.
You do realize he’s showing traits of the Terrible Twos (and Threes!) already? See, he IS a prodigy!
we_be_toyss last blog post..Invasion of the Bodysnatchers (and a few recipes)
by blues
29 May 2009 at 04:25
I’m just giggling imagining him surrounded by all the little toys not willing to let go of them. I know it must be frustrating though so sorry for giggling. He’ll grow out of it. Those pic’s are great, especially the first one.
bluess last blog post..I went on a hike this weekend, that’s what I’m trying to say