kill-your-tvI hate the TV.

Maybe this is due to the inevitable descent into grumpy old manhood, though I prefer to think that it stems from a certain good taste that comes with a longer time on this planet. Whatever the case, I can’t stand to watch television these days. With  very rare exceptions it seems that every time I turn on the idiot box I’m attacked by a sit com or drama featuring one of a handful of tired plots or a ridiculously melodramatic tabloid news program or – what I am convinced is a mark of the end of our civilization - some ‘reality’ program. Don’t get me wrong, there is some outstanding television – The Sopranos, The West Wing, The Wire, Dexter all come quickly to mind – but the vast majority of programming spewing around the ether is, for wont of a more delicate description, crap.

I do like to watch the occasional live sporting event, though less so now that I can’t see college football on the TV. For example, right now Australia is battling England for one of the oldest trophies in sportsdom – The Ashes. I’ve been an avid viewer over the last couple of weeks. During my time in the commonwealth, I’ve become a convert to cricket. So much so that given the choice of seeing Game 7 of the World Series at Yankee Stadium or Day 5 of  an Ashes test at Lords, I would probably take the latter. If it was Game 7 of the World Series at Turner Field, mind you, I would probably give a different answer. Of course, that isn’t likely to happen again any time soon.

evil-television-movie-4988But this is a post about TV, not cricket or baseball. When I became a parent, one of the many firmly held beliefs was that my son would not spend much time in front of the TV. Until very recently, he’s shown no inclination to do so. He’s too busy to sit down for long, too interested in the three dimensional world around him to bother about a small two dimensional one on a screen. And I love him for that. He wants to experience life in all its richness – to smell it, to taste it, to feel and hold it. He recognizes that the TV world is fake and ultimately disappointing. That is one of the wonderful things about kids, as a parent you get the chance to experience the world as if it were new – it’s a rebirth of sorts.

When we moved to the dream house, Boy Z moved day care centers as well. The new one uses proper English, has a lower minder to child ratio, has a better outdoor play area and even offers a vegetarian only menu. But, much to our chagrin, they also rely heavily on the TV as a substitute child minder. Their argument for this is that sometimes kids need quiet time and corraling them all in front of the TV for a while is a good way to help them wind down. Over the last few months I’ve watched Boy Z go from complete disinterest in the TV to the occasional glance at a dancing Wiggle to the budding TV watcher that he has become today. The first time I went to spring the boy and found him staring emptily up at the idiot box with the rest of his class, my heart dropped a little bit. Boy Z had been hooked.

television in the rainNow, I am an intellectual snob but I’m not a zealot. Like most of my pre-parenthood beliefs, I’m beginning to loosen up about the TV one. I recognize the utility of the TV – in moderation. With a new baby on the way and all the behavioral issues that are sure to arise in my first born son, a healthy interest in the TV may be a blessed relief for mother and new babe. Beyond that, keeping a kid away from the idiot box for the long term would be fighting a losing battle.

The battle I am willing to fight is one over content. If the boy is going to watch the TV, I’d at least like him to watch quality TV. At home we don’t have much in the way of kids’ DVDs yet, but Boy Z seems to love my library of David Attenborough nature documentaries – particularly The Life of Birds and The Life of Mammals. Ultimately, though, the boy is going to yearn for the bright primary colors and falsetto voices of dedicated childrens’ programming – a field about which I know nothing. So once again, I turn to my gentle readers – what should my boy watch? What is the children’s equivalent of The Sopranos? What is ‘The West Wing’ for the under 5 set?

If the boy is going to watch the damn box, I don’t want him watching ‘American Idle’ or ‘Dance Your Ass Off’, for the love of all that’s holy.

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Television in the rain

 
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