There’s something about becoming a father, even the second time around, that cleaves reality away temporarily. And that’s where I am today. It’s the middle of what should be a busy work week and it just doesn’t matter. I’m missing lectures and practicals and tutorials and it’s all OK. Because all that matters right now is the little addition to our slightly larger family.
Which is all really just to say that this is going to be a slightly disjointed post.
Dr. O’C did brilliantly. I’ll leave her the opportunity to tell you as much (or as little) as she wants on her own. But I’ve got to brag a little bit. Ginny put it best, she was a freakin’ warrior. Harry is not a small baby. In fact, our midwife said she’d ‘never seen a bigger head’. I’ve never been more impressed with Dr. O’C, a damn impressive woman.
Speaking of midwives, and I am not going to go on a health care rant, both of my sons have now been delivered by midwives in public hospitals in countries with single payer health insurance. I wouldn’t do it any other way. My heartfelt thanks to the midwives of Flinders Medical Center. Doctors are great and all, but when it comes to birthing babies, midwives help people out.
A Free Fetus is now officially Harry. But that’s the last we’ll speak of it. To maintain a semblance of anonymity we’re going to have to come up with an internet pseudonym. This is turning out to be a slightly more difficult task than coming up with his Christian name. I’ve gotten several good suggestions, but I still like the name Max. So, on the advice of my attorneys, I think we’ll go with Not Max for Harry’s internet name.
He’s just over 24 hours old, so I can’t say much about his personality yet. He sleeps a lot and cries when he’s not sleeping. Much like his mother. (Ho, yeah! Of course, it’s easy to make jokes that will get me in trouble when I know she can’t read the blog right now). He looks almost identical to Boy Z when he was born – but he’s bigger. In every way. He hulks over the other newborns in the ward. I’m sure that this must say something about my masculinity, but I’m not sure what. And he’s got these incredibly long fingers and toes. I’m thinking concert pianist or Olympic swimmer.
Boy Z, at least in these early days, adores his little brother. He’s been gentle, kind and empathetic, sharing his toys and giving him kisses. When not at the hospital he runs around the house talking about ‘Harry’ this and ‘Harry’ that. I fully expect all of this to change after the novelty wears off, but for the time being we’re like a damn Disney cartoon.
One piece of old business. I made it reasonably clear that I wanted a girl. I really did. But from the instant I saw the defining bit of anatomy (penis, the Noble Savage says I have to call it a penis) there was no disappointment. Not a bit of sadness. I’ve come to love having a son and two is going to be twice as fun. Plus, I think same sex siblings will get along better in the long run. And, perhaps best of all, we now outnumber Dr. O’C 3-1 (4-1 if you count the dog) which bodes well for future ‘democratic’ decisions.
In other old business, Ginny is the winner of the baby pool. She had the day and sex right, which is about as close as I expected anybody to get. Well done, Ginny.
Dr. O’C will likely be coming home later today and once we settle into a semblance of a routine, we’ll return to regular programming here at A Free Man. But for the time being, I’m going to revel in this temporary disassociation from reality. It is not likely to last long.
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Speaking of great bands of the 90’s, Swervedriver’s near flawless ‘Mezcal Head’ is available from
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by Ginny
03 Sep 2009 at 15:41
Good god, it’s been nearly 3 days, and I’m still getting teary over this. The picture of all three Free Men together? Pass the Kleenex.
Enjoy your time in the bubble, all of you.
Ginny´s last blog ..Herb *
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by Since (I)’ve Been Gone « Praying to Darwin
03 Sep 2009 at 16:24
[...] I totally won a pool. A Free Family grew by one, and I called both the date AND the gender of the baby. I never [...]
by Veronica
03 Sep 2009 at 18:39
He is beautiful.
Veronica´s last blog ..Giveaway
by Angel
03 Sep 2009 at 21:13
That is the most precious picture. What a great group of men!! Welcome to the world, Not Max!
Angel´s last blog ..Please Don’t Leave Me!
by The Unbearable Baishment
03 Sep 2009 at 21:37
I remember that narrow window right before Mrs. Wife brought Daughter #2 home from the hospital. That calm and empty space before it all changed for good. It’s like a quiet, beautiful dawn.
The Unbearable Baishment´s last blog ..There is a season
by SciFi Dad
03 Sep 2009 at 21:53
My son was 9lbs 8oz at birth, and had to spend a night in NICU due to blood sugar concerns. It was him and three preemies… and I mean REALLY premature. It was so bad that when one of the nurses asked which one was mine, I said, “The one who looks like he ate one of the other ones.”
Enjoy these first days. They are, as you may recall, magical.
SciFi Dad´s last blog ..The Accident
by Jill/Twipply Skwood
03 Sep 2009 at 22:14
Such sweet pictures! I like “not Max”! Congratulations again!!!!!

Jill/Twipply Skwood´s last blog ..On the Other Hand, Animals Are Probably Less Likely to Text While Driving
by Danielle
03 Sep 2009 at 22:17
Aww very cute! Almost makes me want babies. but not quite.
by Noble Savage
03 Sep 2009 at 22:19
Yay, you said penis! Well done.
Harry (whose name we shall never speak of again)is gorgeous. Treat your warrior birthin’ goddess wife right in the next few months, ya hear? Congrats again to all of you. x
Noble Savage´s last blog ..Yes, you do need to talk about “the parts”
by Technobabe
03 Sep 2009 at 22:36
Enjoy the time with your beautiful family. The photo of the three guys in the family is great. Looking forward to more photos of Not Max and Boy Z as they grow and grow and change constantly.
Technobabe´s last blog ..Blast It Out On The Porch
by arizaphale
03 Sep 2009 at 23:19
I love the way BoyZ is looking at his concert pianist fingers!! I am off to be creative and will see you tomorrow!!!!!!!!!! Hope y’all are getting some rest.
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
arizaphale´s last blog ..Someone Notify the RSPCC
by atimetorend
04 Sep 2009 at 00:05
“I made it reasonably clear that I wanted a girl. I really did. But from the instant I saw the defining bit of anatomy…there was no disappointment. Not a bit of sadness. I’ve come to love having a son and two is going to be twice as fun.”
Congratulations on Boy #2! I felt the same way with my boys #2, 3, and 4, a twinge of sadness followed by joy. I certainly would not have it any other way.
by Mongoliangirl
04 Sep 2009 at 00:18
Welcome “Not Max”!! Congrats to everyone…especially the lovely Dr!
And yeah, revel in the lack of reality. Especially the part about Boy Z being gentle. I’ll never forget finding my oldest nephew dropping wooden letter blocks onto his little brother’s head and finding it enormously funny.
by Jan
04 Sep 2009 at 00:39
Those pictures are just precious.
Congratulations again.
by Allie
04 Sep 2009 at 02:20
That picture is so cute! And I love that you’re going to call him Not Max on the blog.
J and his big bro are about the same number of years apart. They get along famously. It’s always cute when they get together.
by ZenMom
04 Sep 2009 at 02:26
Oh those pictures are so adorable they make my ovaries ache. Welcome, welcome, welcome Not Max (brilliant pseudonym, btw) and congratulations, Dr. O’C! (And you, to, Dad.) I hope you all enjoy these first special days and all the wonderful ones to come!
by Jessica K
04 Sep 2009 at 03:04
He’s just beautiful. And the sweetness might not wear off for Z. Grant will be four next week, and he and Grayson still get along “like gangbusters” as my grandma used to say.
Either way, I hope you get lots of time to soak in the baby sweetness, and I wish Dr.O’C a speedy recovery. (BTW, Grayson was 9lb6oz, so I feel for her!)
Jessica K´s last blog ..Oh, The Little Things That Make Life So Sweet
by chris
04 Sep 2009 at 03:28
The pictures are…well, making me question our decision to be done. I’m sure it will wear off tonight when I get a full night’s rest with no interruptions, haha. Clare was so excited when she finally got a little sister and though she sometimes gets frustrated when Izzy takes her stuff–that feeling has never worn off. It will get even better when Notmax begins to be able to play.
chris´s last blog ..Revenge: A Dish Best Served With Sad Puppy Eyes
by blues
04 Sep 2009 at 05:38
Damn. I go away for a little while and I come back and you’ve produced a little human! I’ve missed so much! Boy Z is precious with the baby. My best to you and the fam for your new addition.
blues´s last blog ..I almost got you a keychain
by Xbox4NappyRash
04 Sep 2009 at 08:01
This makes me a bit wobbly.
Lovely, just lovely.
Xbox4NappyRash´s last blog ..No walk in the park
by Buggazing
04 Sep 2009 at 11:08
Congrats, you guys make beautiful babies!! Fine work, Dr. O’C. May the peace continue
by Nichole
04 Sep 2009 at 11:28
Those are the sweetest pictures.
Nichole´s last blog ..Welcome, baby Max!
by Lara
04 Sep 2009 at 11:35
Congratulations! I love the shot of Boy Z kissing Not Max. I hope they’re as good of buddies as my two boys. And if they are, that means that in about 6-7 months when Not Max begins to sit, Boy Z will begin to push him down and sit on him.
The fun times are just beginning!
(But 9lb 7 oz? That’s all you could manage? My tiny one wasn’t much less than that! hehe)
by zayzayem
04 Sep 2009 at 11:39
Congratulations!
With enough training maybe he can play concert piano while swimming 500m butterfly?
zayzayem´s last blog ..Vatican secrets: The original Macroscope
by Southern (in)Sanity
04 Sep 2009 at 13:26
Congratulations! I hope everyone is doing well. Great pictures – as usual.
by NATUI
04 Sep 2009 at 13:37
Glad you kept me on retainer. Pro bono work always feels good. As everyone has said, enjoy these halcyon days. They are precious.
NATUI´s last blog ..The Island of Reason in the Land of the Loonies
by SeattleDad
04 Sep 2009 at 13:52
Congrats again. Not Max is a perfect name. However, for the poor kids sake, I would erase the whole bit about being disappointed in seeing his penis. You don’t want to give him a complex later in life do you? lol.
SeattleDad´s last blog ..Wordless Wednesday: Tips for Getting Your 2-year-old to Sleep
by The Right Blue
04 Sep 2009 at 14:00
Welcome to the world, Harry-Not-Max.

The Right Blue´s last blog ..Invertebrates are such spineless critters!
by edenland
04 Sep 2009 at 20:56
Oh my God.
He’s here.
And beautiful …. you all are. Congrats and my hat off to Dr O’C.
WOW!!!!
Mate, I usually get a sweep of jealousy, when I see a beautiful picture of a newborn. But your beautiful newborn made me have a few tears. All the twists and turns you took, to get there … right there in that moment with your boys and your wife.
Miracles, all of it.
Love to you and your family. XO
edenland´s last blog ..A time to weep, and a time to laugh; a time to mourn .. and a time to dance.
by courtney
05 Sep 2009 at 04:17
That is wonderful. I love that photo of Boy Z giving little Not Max a kiss. Enjoy your time with the newly extended family. (And way to go, Dr. O’C. You’re a trooper!)
courtney´s last blog ..Wordless Wednesdays: Sleeping Indian Edition (do you see it?)
by heather
05 Sep 2009 at 13:16
Aw, I love that new baby smell too!
heather´s last blog ..And I still believe that I can not be saved, and I still believe that I can not be saved
by IngridK
05 Sep 2009 at 20:30
Congrats!
by admin
05 Sep 2009 at 23:42
Ginny – I’ve stopped being teary and started being sleep deprived with an aching head.
Veronica – Thanks.
Angel – The dad’s the best looking, don’t you think?
TUB – Yeah, past that window now. It’s changed for sure.
SciFiDad – Awesome. Cannibal baby.
Danielle – Don’t do it.
NS – Glad you took that in the spirit it was intended!
Technobabe – I’m sure there’ll be a few more.
Ariza – Nice to see you and the BA yesterday!
ATime – Glad that resonated.
Mongola – That gentleness isn’t going to last long.
Jan – Thanks.
Allie – I’m hoping we have the right distance (2 years) and sex (boys) so that they’ll get along beautifully.
by admin
06 Sep 2009 at 07:26
ZenMom – The first days have been really hard and sleep deprived. I forgot what a new baby means.
JK – Actually, I was thinking about your boys (who I don’t actually ‘know’) when I was imagining what life with two boys will be like. I hope we get it as good as you’ve got it.
Chris – Yeah, I’m sure that Boy Z is going to get bored at some point until Harry can play ball with him.
Blues – You can’t leave for long!
Xbox – Thanks.
Buzza – What peace?
Nichole – Thanks.
Lara – Can’t wait.
Zay – Thanks. Hey, why not.
SIS – Thanks. So far, so good.
NATUI – Sweet! No bill.
SeattleDad – Just to clarify, I wasn’t disappointed in his penis…
TRB – Thanks.
Edenland – Thanks. You know where I’m coming from.
Courtney – She’s a warrior.
Heather – This one smells like poo most of the time.
Ingrid – Thanks. Glad to see you!
by Mooselet
07 Sep 2009 at 14:58
I am so far behind on my blog reading… congrats on your newest addition. My mom used to call big babies “chunka-munkas”. I have no idea why.
Harry was on our short list as the real name for Clive, so I’m sure you’re happy to hear we approve. Glad he and Dr O’C are doing well, and I hope you’re all settling in nicely.
Mooselet´s last blog ..Unwell
by People in the Sun
08 Sep 2009 at 13:57
It’s not too late to congratulate you, right? Another disappointed sports fan!
Congratulations!
People in the Sun´s last blog ..Howard Kurtz is our Perv Monster of the Week
by Coal Miner's Granddaughter
10 Sep 2009 at 14:00
Boy Z will love him… until Not Max gets mobile and steals toys. Then it will be a love/hate relationship.
No worries, though, when it all shakes out, they’ll love each other.
I’m so glad Dr. O’C made it through like a champ and that you’re one big happy family of FOUR!
Coal Miner’s Granddaughter´s last blog ..F*ck It.
by Gypsy
15 Sep 2009 at 00:38
That picture is so precious!
Gypsy´s last blog ..The Butt Pinch Barometer