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I’m finding it difficult to work up much energy for the Georgia-South Carolina game this weekend. Probably has a lot to do with the loss in Stillwater last Saturday, not to mention my still significant sleep deficit. Either way, I just can’t get up for this game. It should be a good one. Both teams looked pretty underwhelming last week – the Gamecocks edging a mediocre NC State squad and the Dawgs dropping one on the road against Okie State. Both teams have above average defenses and subpar offenses. And whenever the Cocks and the Dawgs get together, it’s a hard fought battle.
But it just isn’t that big a rivalry for Georgia. The Chickens are kind of like a pesky little brother that you beat and beat and beat, but every now and again they get a sucker punch in. Georgia’s won six of the last seven and leads the overall series 45-14 with two draws. The role this game typically plays is an early season warm-up for the rest of the conference schedule.
So, how to get motivated for the ‘Cocks? Well, I lived in South Carolina for a while. Went to college there for three semesters. I’ve got no love for the place. Sure, there are nice bits – Charleston, Hilton Head – but for the most part it’s a dirt poor shithole that never fully recovered from the war they started back in the 19th century. And there are far too many people this:
Proudly segregationist Senator (and hypocrite) Strom Thurmond
Two Americas former presidential candidate (and hypocrite) John Edwards
Family values Governor, avid hiker (and hypocrite) Mark Sanford…
and his would be replacement, conservative Christian Lieutenant Governor (and hypocrite) André Bauer.
But perhaps worst of all, is this native Floridian who recently made Columbia his home. We still owe this Cock a sound licking…
This Saturday evening, when the wretched Gamecocks of the University of South Carolina come clucking into Sanford Stadium, there is more at stake than just a football game. It is a battle for the soul of a nation with the Georgia Bulldogs representing all that’s good and decent and honourable and the vile Gamecocks representing the slimy, lascivious liars that have been running America for far too long.
One could look at it that way. Especially if one were trying to get enthusiastic about a game that is just not inspiring that much enthusiasm.
Go Dawgs! Beat the forces of hypocrisy. Beat those Cocks.
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*For the record, I don’t really care that Joe Wilson shouted at the President. It’s not unheard of in the democratic process and may, in fact, be healthy. Have you ever seen a British or Australian parliamentary debate? That being said, the guy is a true Cock.
** Also, to be fair, only Wilson and Bauer are true Cocks. Thurmond and Edwards went to Clemson and Sanford to Furman. But you’ve got to work with me on this one
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We are a nation full of hypocrites. I hope Georgia thrashes those Cocks.
Beth´s last blog ..I need a new name for Barbie Stickers
I didn’t realize there were ANY other games on than the Notre Dame @ Michigan game (that I tried, quite unsuccessfully, to get tickets to, so I could avoid going to a wedding and potentially MISSING the game).
Joe´s last blog ..Aunt Acey, an explanation
One of the features of my blog stats page is a list of all the google searches that lead to my site.
I reckon you’ll notice some seriously twisted google searches leading to this post!
Agnes´s last blog ..Lanterns in the starlight
Wasn’t that old bastard Jesse Helms from South Carolina as well? Or was that North Carolina? That area of the country gives me the willies. Too many guns and people who love them.
The Unbearable Banishment´s last blog ..It’s Friday, I’m in love.
Hey, thanks for linking to me!! Funny article.
South Carolina is a shithole. I was driving up 95 recently and they literally don’t even have defined lanes in SC… just one big open worn down road with lots of stupid people driving.
Is that cruel? Maybe, but who cares.
Zoboxrox´s last blog ..Who Deserves the Best?
Yes! Down with cocks! And, cover the spread, dammit!
muskrat´s last blog ..again
I think UGA will win, but I always pick South Carolina against the spread. The team doesn’t have the talent of the better SEC teams, but even if you hate Spurrier, you’ve got to admit he can coach football.
I also tend to pick UCF to beat the spread because of O’Leary for the same reason.
Jacob´s last blog ..Crack is Whack, but Heroin is Something Good that Rhymes with Heroin
I may have mis-read this post, but did you encourage Cock-licking?
I think the Dawgs will regroup and pluck the ‘Cocks from head to tail. There are several good games this weekend and I hope to watch them all!
Here In Franklin´s last blog ..Let the Games Begin
Did you know that if you hike the Appalachian trail all the way to the end, you’ll be in Argentina. It’s true, Mark Sanford did it.
Yankee predicted today that Rep. Wilson will be the next proud governor of that miserable state. And I have to disagree with you on Charleston. That is one of the hottest places I’ve ever spent time in, and this is coming from someone who grew up in Mississippi and lived in New Orleans. I hope to never go back.
Cat´s last blog ..Pay Back is Hell
You owe that Cock a sound licking, do you? Hee. Heeheeheeheeheeheeheee.
Sometimes I wish I were a SC fan so I could wear things that say Go Cocks on them.
courtney´s last blog ..Wyoming = Dionne Warwick, Is Basically What I’m Saying
just had to say HA!! at Nathan B’s comment
jen´s last blog ..you’ve thrown the worst fear that can ever be hurled/ fear to bring children into this world
If acoustic volume and website design are factored in, USC should win.
South Carolina truly is a miserable shithole filled with the most execrable right-wing nutso politicians around. That said, UGA is, well, UGA – Deliverance banjo-playing freaks. So who, as a Gator, do I root for? A school of born-again Christian whackos that proudly proclaim “No one can lick our ‘Cocks?” (As if, weirdos.) Or a school of heathens that worships a dog who regularly licks his own testicles on national television. I guess the only moral thing to do is hope for lots of season-ending injuries on both sides.
Dawgs win! Vindication is sweet . . .
tysdaddy´s last blog ..Roger & Me
Beth – Well not a thrashing, but a win’s a win. Good has prevailed.
Joe – I suspect you’re a happy chappy after Saturday. And to be honest, I love seeing Notre Dame lose. They’re just soooooo cocky.
Agnes – Yeah, that’ll be interesting to see.
TUb – Nope, Helms was a proud North Carolinian. A cock, though, to be sure.
Zoboxrox – No worries. Thanks for your post on Wilson.
Muskrat – Thanks for getting in the spirit. Tide looked solid this weekend.
Jacob – He can coach. But that doesn’t mean I have to like him.
Nathan – Yes. Yes I did. Mizzou a bit shaky this week?
HIF – I didn’t even get to listen to the game this weekend. Which sucks, because it was a good one!
Matthew – I didn’t realize that the Applachians transitioned into the Andes, but there you go. I did attend Florida public schools.
Cat – I was trying to be nice. Savannah’s a far nicer city.
Courtney – One of my favorite things about USC was their penchant for the slogan ‘You Can’t Lick Our Cocks’ for a while. I’m pretty sure that’s been banned by the school, but you can still find the occasional t-shirt.
Jen – He’s a ‘funny’ guy.
KCJ – I’m not sure what this means…
Jamie – Well, I guess it just comes down to your feelings about oral sex. How long have you been in Utah anyway?
Tys – True that.
At least you have one alma mater that is 2-0…
Nathan – Barely.
Yeah. South Carolina is pretty lame lately. I hope UGA kicked their ass. And, no, I have no idea who won. I’m so not into football.
Coal Miner’s Granddaughter´s last blog ..Punk
CMGD – How can you avoid it, living where you do?