And it is Spring Break in 26 hours and counting. After I finish my practical tomorrow afternoon, I am a free man for 18 blessed days. Bring on the beach and the girls in bikinis and the MTV party wagons. Bring on the beer bongs and the bong bongs and the all nighters. Let’s party!
What?
Oh.
I’m being informed that as a 37 year old father of two, there will be no beach parties or casual anonymous sex or wet t-shirt contests. Well. Fine. Then.
Actually there never was any of that for me. I grew up in Florida and occasionally tagged along to a Spring Break in Daytona or Panama City, but I always felt like more of an observor. An interloper on someone else’s party. A gate crasher. My first (and really only) Spring Break as a college student was a lost week. I’ve recently been in touch with an old friend who was able to fill in some gaps for me, in other words remind me that there was a Spring Break that year and that I was there.
After crashing and burning in my first college experience, I never really felt like I deserved a traditional Spring Break at any of my subsequent attempts at tertiary education. I fell out of the typical 18 – 22 year old demongraphic and feared that I would stand out as a gatecrasher once again. While my fellow students headed for parts sunny and sandy, I usually stayed behind and worked – slinging coffee or folding t-shirts.
These days, I’m a proper grown up. A university lecturer and rather doing so myself, I’m wishing my young charges god speed as they head for Sydney or the Gold Coast or Bali or parts even further afield.
Me? Well, I have big plans for the fortnight. A regular bacchanalia. We’re going to kick things off with an, err, intimate medical procedure that will keep me occupied for much Thursday and Friday. But after that, well watch out. Dr. O’C intends to adopt a ‘controlled crying’ regime for Not Max. You know, now that I’ll be home and be able to help. From what I understand, this means we’re going to put him down and let him scream until he stops. While he shouts, we are to stare at the ceiling until he runs out of breath.
But that’s not all. We’re going to force Boy Z out of his cot to make room for Not Max and into the bed we bought him a month ago. The bed that he refuses to use except as a makeshift trampoline. So, if we get a reprieve from Not Max’s ‘controlled crying’, Boy Z can fill up the silence with protestations of the loss of his cot.
Yep. It’ll be party time in the Free Family house. All nighters, all right. But probably not enough bikini clad co-eds to pique MTV’s interest.
Still and all, we will probably be able to get to the beach…
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London’s Noah and the Whale released their sophomore LP “The First Days of Spring” in the UK. It is due in the U.S. in October. A bit less twee than the debut, but a little bit more musically mature as well. Have a listen to the title track and if you like it, pre-order the album from Amazon
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*The actual lyric appears to be “For I do believe that everyone has one chance to fuck up their lives…” but I censored. I don’t know the source of this new found puritanism. I don’t mind the f-bomb. But it bothered me a bit up there in bold in the post title. I’m getting old.
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by Lara
15 Sep 2009 at 22:39
“Controlled crying” never worked for us. Part of it is that, for the first child, I couldn’t bear to hear him cry that long. And the second child would never have stopped. Ever. He was one tenacious little guy.
As for censoring the f-bomb… you are clearly referring to the word, as the deed will be self-censored via the “intimate procedure.” Sorry. I know you probably didn’t want to be reminded.
Lara´s last blog ..The pebble in my backpack
by Cat
15 Sep 2009 at 23:13
I put spring break into the same category as New Year’s Eve. It’s mostly comprised of a lot people trying to pretend to have fun when in reality they are miserable and wish they were home in bed instead of throwing up over the balcony or waking up in some strangers bed. I have to say that compared to the festivities you and the Dr. have planned, throwing up over the balcony looks like a lot of fun
Cat´s last blog ..Misspelling Can Lead to Permanent Brain Damage
by Southern (in)Sanity
15 Sep 2009 at 23:33
“I’m being informed that as a 37 year old father of two, there will be no beach parties or casual anonymous sex or wet t-shirt contests…”
Wow. Talk about being brought back down to reality.
by Blogging Mama Andrea
15 Sep 2009 at 23:36
Spring Break? Eh? What’s that? Spring break for me always required flying across country to see my parents or working. So. Much. Fun.
Your spring break sounds a thrill a minute. I’m feeling really jealous over here with only doing potty training this week. Really.
Blogging Mama Andrea´s last blog ..Random Tuesday Thoughts: A Writer Mama’s Tale
by Technobabe
16 Sep 2009 at 00:04
You are such a riot, dad of two and husband of gorgeous Dr. O’C.
Enjoy the spring break with your family, and post pics when you have them.
Technobabe´s last blog ..A Tribute To My Father-In-Law
by tysdaddy
16 Sep 2009 at 00:32
I was never a crowd person, and didn’t see a beach anywhere in sight, unless you counted that strip of sand on Lake Bemidji in northern Minnesota. So most of my Spring Breaks were spent holed up with a book.
But you? You have real beaches. So do your best to enjoy the scenery, and drown out the screaming . . .
tysdaddy´s last blog ..Crazy Is As Crazy Does
by Jacob
16 Sep 2009 at 00:47
I never really did spring break even though I was the same age as the rest of my traditional collegians. I don’t think many of my friends did the traditional spring break debauchery. I’ve always been much too boring of a person.
But, I remember being a father of a newborn and I think the sudden chance to sleep during the day to catch up on the sleep missed at night would be enough to surpass any fun had by heading out to an overcrowded beach to get drunk and screw.
And I’ve considered that intimate procedure, at least if it’s the one that’ll prevent you from making a third screaming infant. Let me know how bad it hurts during the recovery phase. I don’t like to take pain meds and the area being dealt with makes me cringe at little at the thought of that procedure.
Jacob´s last blog ..Things I Learned Over the Weekend
by Theresa B
16 Sep 2009 at 01:07
During all the many years I was in college, I somehow never considered doing the wild spring break thing. I’m not sure I even knew about it. Me, oblivious? How could that be?
Frankly, if I had 18 days off, 17 of them would be spent sleeping, and I don’t even have a newborn in the house.
Good luck with the screaming kids. Bribery in the form of Star Wars sheets worked (at least partially) to get my nephew into his own bed. I’m a fan of bribery. I mean, I’m a fan of positive reinforcement, as the behaviorists call it.
Theresa B´s last blog ..I suck (no, really!)
by heather
16 Sep 2009 at 01:25
Spring Break?!? I still get them too. I never go out binge drinking on a beach either. We are both old.
When I was a college lass, I used to travel, but I normally went to Europe to visit then boyfriend, now husband.
As for the crying. We did it. It was hard and loud. It worked. Good luck!
heather´s last blog ..Children, don’t grow up; Our bodies get bigger but our heart gets torn up
by arizaphale
16 Sep 2009 at 01:31
Did we not have ’spring break’ here in Aus or did I just miss it or did we just do that sort of thing aaaall the time anyway? It’s like this ’schoolies week’ we have here in December. There was never any such thing in my day. Unless my friend and I started it. We went camping down in Victor Harbour together after the last exam. Just her and me. There was not. another. soul. there…….
Look forward to a bit of grown up debauchery with y’all in about a week! Cleland? The Maritime Museum? Wet T shirts at the Aquatic Centre? Sounds positively hedonistic.
arizaphale´s last blog ..Devastation or: Let Me Eat Cake or: You Can Never Have Enough Diggers
by ZenMom
16 Sep 2009 at 01:51
Enjoy your break.
ZenMom´s last blog ..Every Now and Then
by courtney
16 Sep 2009 at 01:51
I was around all the Spring Break hoopla a couple years, but never really participated (by which I mean I never flashed a crowd or had anonymous drunk sex.) I prefer my debauchery with close friends.
Wow, sounds like you have a fun week ahead at A Free House. Good luck with your, uh, procedure, and here’s hoping the boys give you some peace and quiet.
courtney´s last blog ..Wyoming = Dionne Warwick, Is Basically What I’m Saying
by Bulldog in Exile
16 Sep 2009 at 02:12
Good luck with the intimate procedure. Speaking from experience, don’t let Boy Z near until at least Saturday. It’ll save needless suffering and extended recovery.
Good luck. I’ll be in Fayetteville rooting for the Dawgs and a quick recovery.
Bulldog in Exile´s last blog ..So About the Tailgate…
by Jan
16 Sep 2009 at 05:23
Ah, getting the ol’ wires snipped, are we?
I had no idea that Spring Break was a tradition in other parts of the civilized world. I always thought they were, well, more civilized.
Jan´s last blog ..It’s a Baby of a Giveaway
by Noble Savage
16 Sep 2009 at 06:00
I know you said you and Dr O’C aren’t comfortable with co-sleeping but does that only apply if you’re both in bed? My husband wasn’t comfy with it either but both our babies just wanted to be near me (and the milk!) at all times for the first few months so to save our sanity and all get some sleep, he slept in the guest room or on the sofa for the first 3-4 months and I had the baby in bed with me. That really alleviated all the worries about rolling over or anything because just me and baby had plenty of room.
They still went into their cots for naps and we had no problems transitioning them to their cots for nighttime sleep once they weren’t in that tiny newborn “must be held constantly to fall asleep” stage. Just thought I’d throw that out there if you hadn’t considered that already. A few weeks old seems awfully young to do controlled crying, I always thought they recommended that only for babies over 6 months old? Anyway, good luck and I hope you’re all getting better sleep soon.
Noble Savage´s last blog ..Seasons of safety
by Allie
16 Sep 2009 at 07:29
I totally agree with Cat’s assessment. I never did spring break, but I may or may not have spent New Years of 2000 crashing a party, puking in some poor girl’s bathroom. And, yeah, it really wasn’t that much fun. I lament my boring life every so often, but in truth, I LOVE IT.
Allie´s last blog ..No Dogs Were Harmed in the Making of This Photo
by admin
16 Sep 2009 at 08:04
Just to clarify, nothing is getting snipped. There’s no plumbing alterations going on. Yeah.
by Danielle
16 Sep 2009 at 08:09
sharing time! As a psychology student, I always felt like I had adopted a not-perfectly-secure attachment style (if you will) (http://tinyurl.com/yo7twv) to my mother. I always wondered why until she told me the story about the night her mother (my evil grandmother, as we refer to her in my family) convinced my mom to just let me cry until I stopped. My mom said it was the most horrible thing she’d ever heard, I didn’t stop for HOURS and that after I did she told her mother that she was never listening to her again because she just felt it was wrong to do. Now I don’t blame you guys for trying something like this because it sounds like you’ve got a real screamer on your hands, I’m just saying that theoretically, something like this might break the implicit trust a child has in it’s parents to come to them when they need something. (But yeah, I’m not sure if that’s supported by actual research or anything.)
by Danielle
16 Sep 2009 at 08:12
and p.s. bring on the school holidays!! Too bad I still have to be at the office during those two weeks
by admin
16 Sep 2009 at 10:51
Lara – I seem to have unintentionally misled people re: ‘intimate medical procedure’. Not what you think. As for controlled crying, I don’t know. Everyone has a different way of dealing with these things and they all seem to work. So, whatever, I try to keep peace in the house.
Cat – Exactly. New Year’s Eve is the perfect analogy. Can’t stand the night.
SIS – I know, I know.
Andrea – Seems like nobody did Spring Break. So who are all these half nude people on the beach?
Technobabe – Thanks.
Tys – Will do my best.
Jacob – The thing abour THAT intimate procedure is that I won’t do it. I don’t know why. I’m squeamish about the business up in there and I don’t want people messing around with it. And it isn’t cheap – voluntary surgery isn’t covered by our socialist health care.
Theresa – I’m shooting for 5 days of solid sleep and then we’ll get down to having some fun. The weather has started to turn nice down here.
Heather – I wish I had gone to Europe in college, but I waited until later.
Ariza – Well, it’s Spring. And we have a break. Sooooo, Spring Break! I don’t know what uni students here do with the break. A lot of mine seem to be hitting the road to somewhere…
ZenMom – Thanks!
Courtney – Come on, tell the truth.
Bulldog/Jan – Seriously, y’all. I say intimate and you all start thinking junk. I don’t know where your minds are. How about a different word. ‘Invasive’? ‘Delicate’?
OK, time for my penultimate class…
by admin
16 Sep 2009 at 13:35
NS – Like I said, everyone has a different opinion on raising children and – as long as you don’t leave them to starve in the cot – most of them seem to work out OK in the end. I’m not sold on the controlled crying, but I defer to the wisdom of my better half. Co-sleeping, as you know, I don’t care for. I really don’t care for letting the child displace one of the parents. It’s hard enough to maintain intimacy after kids and moving one of us to a different bed would significantly reduce that significantly reduced time for intimacy.
But honestly, I respect whatever people choose to do. In my experience parenting is doing the best you can with the time and energy you’ve got.
Allie – Boring is way better than ‘exciting’.
Danielle – ‘Controlled crying’ isn’t just letting them scream until they stop, actually. It’s letting them cry for a few minutes and then comforting them. Repeat ad nauseum until you give up and pick them up and let them go to sleep in your arms. It sucks, but we did it with Zach and he’s fine.
by ELLIE
16 Sep 2009 at 15:11
From a non-parent: knock ‘em on their heads! (mock parenting advice of course!
I grew up in FL too. Winter Park / Maitland; Lighthouse Point / Pompano Beach / Ft Lauderdale; and Miami. Hated the idea of spring break for having spent a good part of my high school years witnessing the springtime invasion. Where were you?
ELLIE´s last blog ..Asked Questions, Not Always Answered
by Danielle
16 Sep 2009 at 18:57
ahhh ok that sounds a bit more humane than what I thought it was!
by Here In Franklin
17 Sep 2009 at 00:30
“…beer bongs and bong bongs…” Classic.
Here In Franklin´s last blog ..That’s Southern with a Capital S.
by NATUI
17 Sep 2009 at 00:43
If you can get Not Max to cooperate and spit up on Dr. O’C’s chest, you may get that wet shirt contest anyway.
NATUI´s last blog ..Waking Up From the Summer Daze
by The Unbearable Banishment
17 Sep 2009 at 13:20
I absolutely assumed it was a SNIP! Yea, a lot of help you’d be after that. As much help as you can offer while sitting with a package of frozen peas in your crotch. So, is it a facelift? Tummy tuck?
The Unbearable Banishment´s last blog ..Daughter in a Maelstrom
by Joe
17 Sep 2009 at 21:07
Controlled crying worked, to an extent, for us. Sarah said it made her “heart hurt” when Tyler cried, so I had to put extra energy into keeping her away from ruining the whole thing and picking him up.
When Tyler cries now, I ask him why he’s crying. If he can’t give me a good reason (and since he can’t talk… wellllll), I tell him that it’s time to stop. We’re certainly not a coddling household, that’s for sure.
Joe´s last blog ..Wordless Wednesday v. Is that CAKE?
by Jud
18 Sep 2009 at 00:06
Spring Break…meh. 18 days sounds like a pleasant break, though, and time to bond with the new edition.
But if you do feel like participating, I suggest the following:
- go purchase a couple of cases of Natty Light
- drive to the beach with the beer, a change of clothes and $20
- drink excessively
- pass out on the beach
- get sunburned
- forget where you parked the car
- find car, then hunt for keys
- discuss the best way to keep the remaining beer cold – you only have enough money for ice or a cooler, but not both
- get in a fight
- hurl
- eat a lousy hamburger that is the best meal ever
- rinse & repeat
Jud´s last blog ..The Electric Slide, Patrick Swayze, and the Decline and Fall of the Roman Empire
by Susan
03 Oct 2009 at 06:31
“I fell out of the typical 18 – 22 year old demongraphic and feared that I would stand out as a gatecrasher once again.” Sorry, I’m a typo-finder without even trying…or were you young’uns really that bad.
by Gypsy
13 Oct 2009 at 00:31
I hope when you went to PC that you spent some quality time at Club La Vela.
Gypsy´s last blog ..When you’re chewing on life’s gristle, don’t grumble, give a whistle