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And exhale.
Thursday morning, my Head of School knocked on the door of my office as I was taking off my coat. I invited him in to have a seat and the solemn look on his face nearly made me wilt. I’ve been living on annual contracts with the university since I got here and October is contract renewal time. They seem to like me around here because this year they basically created a new position for me, wrote the job description to suit my experience. But the position had to be advertised and based on my Head’s cloudy demeanor, I thought that maybe that had found someone more me than me.
I guess he was just having a bad morning, or perhaps was employing that notorious arid Australian wit, because the news he had for me was all good. I’ve got another year of teaching work at the university. Another year doing a job I love. A year to begin activation of my master back up plan.
However, things are going to be a little bit different for your favorite university lecturer.
I’m going to be teaching nursing students.
I was trained as a plant geneticist.
Dr. O’C’s Mum put it best when she asked me the question that has been ringing around my head since I heard I would be teaching nurses:
“Teaching them what?”
You’ve got to love mothers-in-law. Even when they aren’t legal.
Short answer, Anatomy and Physiology. I’ve never taken Anatomy & Physiology. I dissected a frog in high school biology. Or a fetal pig. I can’t remember. I did, however, take Plant Anatomy as an undergraduate.
If you end up in hospital in South Australia in a couple of years, it may be a good idea to ask your nurse who her Anatomy & Physiology professor was before you let them start poking around at what they think is your ‘kidney’.
My favorite part of this new position? The university runs a couple of small regional campuses out in country South Australia. Next semester, I’ll be sent out once a week to one of these campuses. By plane. When I heard that I had visions of flying out over the Outback in a single engine prop plane to bring the light of education to eager scantily clad natives. If not a Royal Flying Doctor at least the guy who trains the Royal Flying Nurses.
In reality, it’s probably more like a regional commuter flight to deliver a two hour lecture on the integumentary system to some bored miners’ kids in Whyalla.
Still and all, beats working for a living.
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Image credits:
This live version of The White Stripes’ “The Nurse” comes from the performance at Glastonbury 2005. The original is from the brilliant “Get Behind Me Satan”, available from 
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You get frequent flyer miles on those things? I’m not a big fan of flying in big planes (and I do that far more than I like to). Little ones like that make me vomit, sweat and freak out. Usually all at the same time.
Still you have to work for a living right?
Blogging Mama Andrea´s last blog ..Dear So and So: From Minivan’s to Boots and everything in between
Congrats on keeping the job, and yes mother-in-laws can be quite good at calling it like it is. I had an anatomy and physiology teacher whose degree was religion. We had an EMT in the class, and she would often ask him questions. I’m sure you’ll do better than that.
Cat´s last blog ..Let Me Translate for You
Meh, science is science. Just, you know, find a plant whose internals are similar to an animal and you’re good to go.
SciFi Dad´s last blog ..Verboten
Whyalla? That IS bad news.
Just joking. My old boss has much experience in the Spencer Gulf commute. You should connect with her, if you haven’t already.
BTW. Will be in Adelaide for the Bestie’s wedding. Are you and the good doctor around that weekend? Did you score an invite?
headbang8´s last blog ..Pimp meinen Fahrt, Part Zwei.
Wow, that sounds exciting. I’m surprised they don’t record you and put the lectures online, I guess there’s no substitute for live and in person, right?
So when is the Free Man Family coming to Sydney??
Florida Girl in Sydney´s last blog ..Festival of Dangerous Ideas
Great!! Probably a relief at this point with the new little guy still so new. Now you don’t have to work on plan b. Anyway, Head of School came through, dry wit and all. Congrats.
Technobabe´s last blog ..Yo Taxi! Taxi!
Congrats, buddy! I think. And I hope UT loses miserably to the Dawgs.
Congratulations! I’m sure it was the robot lectures that convinced them you could move beyond plants…
Theresa B´s last blog ..Now with More Crappy Photos!
Well, that’s a bit terrifying for the health of the Australian population. But it’s awesome for you! Congratulations!
Nichole´s last blog ..Summer reading
Congrats on the continued job security and don’t get a big head being around all those women. The good thing about teaching something you are only marginally familiar with is you get to work that old noggin of yours while you bone up on bones and such. Best of luck.
chris´s last blog ..Would I Lie to You?
Hell. If in France, mothers with three children and professional level athletes can get into the testing ground “concours” to teach children at college and high school level with absolutely no formal higher education AT ALL (I’m not even kidding), then teaching nurses should be easy peasy.
CONGRATULATIONS on keeping your pay check! Bad luck about the plane commuting though. I’m sure that’ll get old fast.
JChevais´s last blog ..Whammy Post
Congrats on another year of employment! That is great news, and taking a plane to teach your classes sounds fun.
Although, if the South Australian death rate suddenly spikes in a few years, I think we’ll all know where to look.
courtney´s last blog ..3 Important Things On The First Full Day of My 30s
Wow, congrats man. I had to help my ex and my current study Anatomy and Physiology. My ex was a nursing student and she failed her NCLEX (I think that’s what they called the test). Although I paid for her classes, I was happy to hear she failed. I’m so evil.
Sarah (the current) and I made up flash cards and I would quiz her all the time on what “-ectomy” and “-oma” and all that meant. She, I believe, takes her PTA license exams this January.
Good luck.
Joe´s last blog ..No Tyler, No Tyler, No Tyler
That’s terrific!
But, he wasn’t snickering as he mentioned that was he. It’s not all just a big practical joke, right? Gotcha! HaHaHa.
Oh, well. You must be a pretty impressive guy if you have convinced them you can teach a subject you have never actually studied before.
And the plane rides sound fun too. Way to go!
Seattledad´s last blog ..Random Tuesday Thoughts: Late Edition
I would suggest a copy of Gray’s Anatomy and a Barbie and Ken doll.
Jud´s last blog ..The Corporate Life
Congrats on the job extension – my husband is a contractor also and although he’s never been any real danger of not being kept on (and there have been other job offers to consider) he always gets a bit nervous around the end of the twelve months.
Take a camera on those flights. My parents are driving through SA at the moment and they always take the scenic route, but have never seen it from the air. Lucky you.
Trish´s last blog ..To my darling sister…
Andrea – When I was in grad school, I went to do field work a couple of times in Hawaii and we took a twin engine prop plane from Honolulu to Molokai. With the tradewinds, that was a scary flight. I’m hoping these ones are a little tamer.
Cat – I hope so. God, USM really isn’t that good a school is it?
SciFiDad – Surprisingly, that seems to be my university’s opinion as well.
HB8 – I’ve sent you an e-mail.
FGIS – And you too.
Technobabe – Based on talking to him at school drinks later in the day, I think he was just exhausted. We’ve been in the news lately, for not so good reasons.
More later
Excellent! I’m sure the School is pleased to keep you on in any capacity they can.
I’m equally sure you’ll know your pituitaty from your pistil in no time. The first plant physiology class I was ever in was the one I was teaching – and I probably did a better job of it because I knew I didn’t know what I was talking about.
Brilliant news and what a bonus doing the out of town stuff! Very cool. Anyway as long as you can read faster than the nurses you can just keep a chapter ahead.
arizaphale´s last blog ..Play It Clean*
That’s a bit of a bait and switch. You can keep your job, but teach a subject in which you have no background. And good God I don’t want to get started on that plane. I guess it will be a good time to grade papers. And I expect some pretty interesting blog posts once the weather starts turning. But congrats! This is going to be a hell of an interesting year here at AFM.
You should chat with Mal-u. She was not trained in A&P I or II, but teaches them both. A lot. To hopeful nursing students.
you’ll be just fine. Once you get in front of the class they will listen. That’s just the way the world works. And it’s anatomy, so it’s not like it changes.
Much.
lora´s last blog ..
Congratulations on not getting fired! And don’t worry – seems like only yesterday that you were saying I only had to stay a step ahead of my students. Oh wait…that was probably the day before yesterday. Oh no wait – I don’t post as often as you do. It was probably the week before last.
Jill/Twipply Skwood´s last blog ..Adventures in Skyping With the Good For Nothing Cat
congrats to u. that being said you could not pay me to get on that plane. Seriously, I would rather walk
haha that’s awesome!
ssg´s last blog ..hello again
Congrats! The change of scenery sounds interesting.
suzer´s last blog ..Endless Summer – The Postcards Tour Finale
Um, just to brush up and remind you and stuff:
It’s a penis, not a stamen.
It’s an ovary, not a pistil.
That is all.
Coal Miner’s Granddaughter´s last blog ..Kirk Fights Dirty and Vader Spits
congrats. I just got news as well of my renewed contract and it was quite a relief in this climate.
blues´s last blog ..Gum and Madge
i think you might like this….
click my name if your interested, modest mouse and a lil’ black keys influenced but not a copy cat.
http://www.myspace.com/jackraasch