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Colors inside your head go spinning around like a ferris wheel

zoo1Quiet. It is going to be fairly quiet around these parts for a while. I’m under water at work. Learning new subjects, new course delivery methods, new software. Exam time approaches rapidly…

Actually, that is all kind of crap. I am busy, that’s true. But I’ve always been able to find time at the end of my day to whip up a blog post. The bigger reason it is going to be quiet around here is that I’ve suddenly developed some paranoia about security, anonymity and privacy. Three independent events in the last month or so have given me pause to think about this whole blogging thing. I’ve begun to worry about how much of myself and, more importantly, my family I’m putting out there for any random stranger to see. The irony of me as  a blogger is that I’m actually an incredibly private person. I think that that therapeutic value of blogging for me has always been that it forces me to be more open, even if I use a pseudonym.

But right now I’m wondering if I’m too open.

Don’t know. But I’m going to have to think about things for a little while.

flamingos

——————————

I can’t remember where I got this live version of Ryan Adams’ “I See Monsters”. I suspect the Aquarium Drunkard. It’s from a live set of Adams with his Cardinals called the “Loft Sessions”. The original comes from “Love Is Hell”, an incredible pair of EPs that are available from

Ryan Adams - Love Is Hell.

 
icon for podpress  Ryan Adams and the Cardinals "I See Monsters" (Live) [5:34m]: Play Now | Play in Popup | Download

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38 comments to Colors inside your head go spinning around like a ferris wheel

  • I totally understand. Really, I do.
    Beth´s last blog ..Sometimes we all need a little perspective My ComLuv Profile

  • At least one night a week, this is exactly what keeps me awake. Do what you need to do.

  • I’m going to take the selfish point of view since everyone else so far has taken the supportive line. I’d hate to see you quit blogging. I honestly don’t think you put up much of anything that could come back to bite you. If you were posting offensive or personally sensitive stuff on the blog, I could understand, but since you left that one job, you haven’t posted anything that would make you, your family, or your employer look back or be unhappy with you.

    Then again, I don’t know what those things that happened in real life are. Maybe there’s more to it than it seems.
    Jacob´s last blog ..Life Goes on Long After the Thrill of Living is Gone My ComLuv Profile

  • I’d hate to see you quit blogging as well. It is giving up some level of your anonymity, but I reckon if you stick to some kind of code of conduct, you’ll be apples.
    suzer´s last blog ..10 Things I Have Succumbed To My ComLuv Profile

  • We all reach this point, but, trust your site meter. The angst will pass. If not select readers for a while. It made me feel better.
    heather´s last blog ..I could have been someone. Well so could anyone. You took my dreams from me, when I first found you: My ComLuv Profile

  • I worry a lot about that as well. Although, I have had no such intances to make me really worried. Once that happens, I suspect that I will not take it well.
    Seattledad´s last blog ..Like Peanut Butter and Chocolate My ComLuv Profile

  • I agree with Heather. Make it private for a while, if you must.
    Monty´s last blog ..Withdrawals from the memory bank My ComLuv Profile

  • Being open is not really bad as long as you keep it balance. For us to grow, we must see ourselves in another person’s eye. :-)

  • jen

    the thing that always gives me pause is when i start talking about other people. because, while *i* can make the decision to put all my personal thoughts out there, no one ever asked them if that’s what they wanted. if that’s what they wanted, they’d probably have their own blog.

    of course, children are different – we’re always making decisions on their behalf. and somehow that makes it even more important.

    do what makes you comfortable.

  • Hope I didn’t freak you out with my accidental stalking around the lake one day. But I know what you mean. I try to be as careful as possible about what I write. I hope that no one would ever be able to find me just by reading my blog. They’d be able to figure out where I work probably, but never my name.

    But I’ll miss your writing (only for a while I hope). I found out last night that my mum has followed you from my page and reads you every day. She’ll miss you too…..
    kitty´s last blog ..daring cooks, pho My ComLuv Profile

  • Joe

    It’s amazing just HOW MUCH information is floating around out here in the eWorld. Just about anyone that’s persistent enough can find a plethora of information on someone just through google, let alone their blog.

    I hope you stick around, but would understand if you chose otherwise.
    Joe´s last blog ..Wordless Wednesday v. Congratulations, Aunt Jenny My ComLuv Profile

  • I didn’t take this to mean you’re going to stop blogging, as others did. When I started blogging, my sister read me the Riot Act about what to put out there. She practically demanded; no real names and no family photos. Once it’s in the ether, you can never get it back. I have proceeded with a healthy dose of caution. That’s why you only ever see the back of my kid’s heads when I put up a pic.

    BTW, the Lego pop-up is pretty annoying.
    The Unbearable Banishment´s last blog ..Supplemental to Kandinsky post My ComLuv Profile

  • It’s one of those things that every blogger thinks about at some point. I only use my real first name and not the names of my kids or my husband and I do my best to not give away too much about where we live. It’s easier now that we live outside a major city than before when we were expats in small community.

    The bottom line for me is there is always someone who could figure who I am if they were determined enough. It’s the risk I’m sort of willing to take.
    Blogging Mama Andrea´s last blog ..What the Hell Wednesday with Blue Monkey Butt My ComLuv Profile

  • Cat

    I understand this completely. I’ve really reduced my blogging mainly because my kids got tired of their personal life out on the tubes, but in your case you have so much interesting stuff to say outside your family and private life. I love your sciency posts, and even your football posts.

    I hope you keep at it, but if you don’t I’ll understand that as well.
    Cat´s last blog ..A Cat Family Outing My ComLuv Profile

  • My Name's Not Barbara

    I agree with Cat. I think that if you wish to cut down on your personal posts, I completely understand. I started coming to your blog for the music. But now, I really enjoy your scientific insight, your experience in teaching as a foreigner(I’m preparing to do that myself), and your football posts make me want to get involved in professional sports. You can control what is out on the internet, but you don’t have to stop blogging :)

  • I know exactly what you mean. I went through the same thing in early 2007, before which I was more free with information (I blogged with our first names and showed images that included our faces). Then my wife got spooked and we went dark for a week, returning with pseudonyms and no face shots. (You can read about it in a post I wrote a couple of months ago: http://talesfromthedadside.blogspot.com/2009/08/brief-history-of-my-blogging.html.)
    SciFi Dad´s last blog ..What Would They Think? My ComLuv Profile

  • Personally I think bloggers should be anonymous. I don’t know what happened in your life that was a warning to you, but it is good that you are taking time to think it through. Whatever you decide, I hope to be reading your blog.
    Technobabe´s last blog ..Heavy Equipment In Precision My ComLuv Profile

  • sorry to hear this…hope it wasn’t something/someone too creepy. i don’t drop my real name (but don’t hide it either) but sometimes worry about the pics of the children and me when i see the disgusting searches that lead to my blog. of course, if a nasty search leads to me, it’s my fault.

  • I’m so sorry to hear about this, hon. I hope you don’t give up blogging because of this but I can understand being worried.

    Come back soon.
    Coal Miner’s Granddaughter´s last blog ..Kirk Fights Dirty and Vader Spits My ComLuv Profile

  • It’s a tough time for blogging. I’ve been struggling for a long time finding time for reading and creating content… there’s always been the job, the house, the family and all the other demands on my time, but now there are multiple other distractions from the many other social media… add to that the privacy issues and… well, what’s a blogger to do?!?
    alice´s last blog ..Wordless Wednesday My ComLuv Profile

  • I can see where that would freak you out. Of course, now I’m dying to know what the hell happened. :)
    Not Afraid To Use It´s last blog ..Don’t Come Knocking On My Door My ComLuv Profile

  • It’s such a hard thing to figure out. I think everyone has different comfort levels with it. Sometimes, when I really think about it, I get weirded out completely. And other times I feel like it’s totally freeing – I am who I am and I’m not hiding it. . . My feelings about it can change on a minute to minute basis.
    Allie´s last blog ..My Book Cover & More Great News! My ComLuv Profile

  • Yeah I’m going to say that you do tend toward opening yourself up quite a bit on your blog. I used to be a very private person, but even though I’m really not anymore, I still think I put up much more of a front than you seem to on my blog. Still, even so, even though mine is all tongue in cheek I can see where there would be times when it would not be great for it to be on the internet for all to see.

    That said, I love the top picture, I hope you don’t rethink too very much and I’m incredibly curious about the three random events. :-)
    Jill/Twipply Skwood´s last blog ..I’m Scared of My Own Wedding My ComLuv Profile

  • I don’t lose sleep cos no-one reads my blog :-)
    You on the other hand….
    I’m just really glad we get to see you in real life now. Which reminds me, I have a wedding invitation to pass on to you.
    arizaphale´s last blog ..What Do The Flying Dutchman And A Hammer Drill Have in Common? My ComLuv Profile

  • Well, my life is an open blog. Whether you write your life on the internet, in essays, or in books, you’re putting it out there–and what you, A Free Man, is putting out there is something others can relate to. So it’s all good. I think.

    As for Ryan Adams, he has it in for My Jeff Tweedy–whom I’m seeing tomorrow with my gorgeous, 6 foot tall date–my daughter.
    Prefers Her Fantasy Life´s last blog ..Why I Prefer My Fantasy Life #119 My ComLuv Profile

  • Arizaphale – Now wait a cotton pickin’ minute! I read your blog!!!!!!!! But I’m not really stalker material…
    Jill/Twipply Skwood´s last blog ..I’m Scared of My Own Wedding My ComLuv Profile

  • Totally off topic…but PLEASE beat Vanderbilt tomorrow!
    Here In Franklin´s last blog ..The Flu Shot My ComLuv Profile

  • Jamie

    I think Here in Franklin nailed it. The real reason AFM has stopped posting is that he is afraid UGA will lose to Vandy tomorrow and the ignominy will be too much to bear.

  • I know exactly what you mean and about once a week I contemplate removing all of the identifying pictures from my blog.

    If you decide to go elsewhere or go private, I hope you’ll give me a heads up.
    blues´s last blog ..Gum and Madge My ComLuv Profile

  • Cat

    How am I going to keep up with Georgia football if some expat living in Australia doesn’t post about it? Not like I live in Georgia or anything.
    Cat´s last blog ..A Cat Family Outing My ComLuv Profile

  • Gillian

    Just letting you know that I came across your blog recently and love it :) I understand about wanting to be careful about what you blog about. As much as I love reading other people’s blogs, I haven’t figured out if I’d be comfortable blogging about my own family…

  • love the photos of your children
    nursemyra´s last blog ..more strange rectal tales My ComLuv Profile

  • I have heard stories, and so I guess at times it crossed my mind to worry. But then life events made me become more of a “life is too short to live afraid” kind of mentality. But then my kids are all grown and I don’t have much to lose on my end. Obviously not the same situation you have. I hope that whatever these events are that they weren’t too frightening. And (although I doubt it matters much to you) I understand you have to do what you need to do for yourself and your family, but I would miss you if you went away.
    Vixen´s last blog ..Someone Stole My Halloween Decorations My ComLuv Profile

  • Jill, of course I meant ‘no one except the IMPORTANT people’ read my blog!!
    arizaphale´s last blog ..Die Walkure: A Word From My Father My ComLuv Profile

  • Here’s my take on it, kind of, because sometimes I still worry. There are a gazillion blogs out there with a gazillion pictures of kids and families and a gazillion ways to find out who someone is in “real life” if you know how to dig. There are also much better ways to stalk someone than by finding their blog and figuring out where they live…It’s really rather inefficient. I live in a nice community but there are strangers all over the place, people who could watch me come in an out of my house, follow me to work, watch my kids walk to work…(not trying to frighten you more:)

    My point is, there are ample, almost limitless opportunites to become a victim which is not to say, well, why not give them one more. Only that Facebook, blogging, work intranets, etc. has made our “neighborhood” larger. There’s still creep everywhere and you have to arm yourself and your kids to be safe.

    What I do worry about more so than identity is making sure that I don’t write anything that will upset my family now or later. I also see the value of not connecting your professional life to your blog because of either compromising your job or your ability to write freely.

    Hope you keep blogging, even if you hold back more or go private.
    chris´s last blog ..Would I Lie to You? My ComLuv Profile

  • I just hope my boss never finds my blog. Not that I blog about work, I just need to keep the two worlds separate.

  • I know I’m late (hello from the land of H1N1, it’s been a blast!) but if you want to talk about this, feel free to email me….
    Maggie, dammit´s last blog ..TSA took my baby, @mybottlesup, and the trigger happy Internet My ComLuv Profile

  • [...] yellojkt: I just hope my boss never finds my blog. Not that I blog abo… [...]

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