grandparents1I grew up with distant Grandparents. Not emotionally – they were wonderful when we had a chance to see them – but physically. Our family was nomadic for much of the 70’s, and our wanderings took us far from my parents’ parents. What this meant is that my sister and I saw our grandparents a couple of times a year at best.

I loved seeing them. My sister and I flew up to northern Ontario for a couple of weeks every summer. Those were the best of times – long northern summer days in the woods with my cousins and my grandparents. There was a freedom and a light heartedness up there that we couldn’t conjure up at home. There was a chance to spend time with my grandparents, to get to know them, to have them shower us with grandpaternal affection. It was awesome.

But I was always a little jealous of my cousins. They lived in the same town as my grandparents and saw them a couple of times a week. My grandparents were a part of their lives in a way that they could never be a part of ours. It is the minutiae of day to day live that drags a family closer together.  In the back of my mind during those halcyon summer days of childhood was a niggling insecurity that my cousins were closer to my grandparents than I was. Because no matter how close we got during the weeks we spent together, we never built the relationship that goes along with a daily interaction.

grandparents2I know there was a difference because when I was a teenager, my father’s parents moved to our small town in Florida. Now as a teenager, I didn’t take as much advantage as I should have of this proximity. But I know that in the few years before he died, I was able to build a special kind of relationship with my paternal grandfather, one that I wish I had a chance to build with my maternal grandfather.

I wish I was in a position to offer my sons that kind of relationship with all of their grandparents. But one of the adverse effects of an international relationship is that  there is no conceivable way that Dr. O’C and I can live in the same country as both sides of our family, never mind the same city.

My boys will grow up with one local grandparent. Dr. O’C’s mum lives in the southern suburbs and comes up to dote on her grandsons at least a couple of times a week. They adore her and I’m grateful that they are going to have her in their lives on a daily basis.

Dr. O’C’s Dad is in Queensland, which is about as far from us as New York is from New Orleans. Thus, he’s been an infrequent presence in my sons’ lives so far.

And my parents? Well, my parents are in Florida – 16,000 km away. Not conducive to that daily interaction with their Grandkids. And this is a fact that pains me. I’ve gone through all the permutations, but there just isn’t any way that there can be more unless we move back to the States (not going to happen) or they move down here (ditto). So, we’ll have to look forward to the too infrequent visits and make the most of them when they come around.

grandparents3Like now, for example. Right now they’re probably about 8,000 km or so away – on a flight somewhere over the Pacific.  They are on their way here – my Mom and Dad and my maternal Grandmother. They arrive in Sydney tomorrow and Adelaide on Sunday. We’re headed off on a barnstorm trip to Sydney to meet up with them and get Not Max his U.S. citizenship.

At just shy of three weeks, they will be here for too short a time. And who knows when the next trip will be. But I’m glad that my parents are going to have a chance to get to know their grandsons and that my sons will have a chance to begin to get to know their grandparents. I’m grateful that we have a chance to be together and am going to make the best of the time we have.

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