The first time you hear a kookaburra call is pretty damn spooky. Here, have a listen. But when I hear them now, cackling madly in the Australian sun, I sprint outside for a look. There’s something about these birds, something quintessentially Australian.
And in the height of the Australian summer, on the eve of Australia Day, that’s what I’m basking in – all things Australian.
When we moved to Britain in 2005, I made the mistake of hanging on to lots of trappings of ‘home’. I took comfort in things American. I basked in my very different-ness. And I spent three of the four years we were there hating the place. In that last year, I finally sought what made Britain so, well, Great. Just as I figured it out and came to love the place, it was time to go.
So, this time around I’m leaving all that American nonsense behind. Yes, I am an American. Never try to hide it. But barring anything unforseen and earth shattering, I’m going to be an American living in Australia. My boys are going to be raised as Australians and I’m going to do my best to insure that they get the best of that.
We’re Australians.
And every day that I listen to the news from the country of my birth, I’m more convinced that this is a good thing.
Like tens of millions of other Americans, I got infected with Obama fever back in 2008. Full of his particular brand of Hope™, I bought into the idea of a transformative politician that would take my creaking country forward into a new progressive behemoth. Tears rolled down my cheeks when his victory was announced. I walked a little straighter as an American abroad after that, full of hope and pride in my country.
A year later, I feel worse that I did at the height of the Second Bush Dynasty.
Worse, because I’ve come to realize that Obama, like Clinton before him, has chosen to govern as a “pragmatic” centrist. That despite all the high flying rhetoric, he has to deal with the same right wing opposition that Clinton had to deal with and as a result, nothing truly transformative is going to get done.
Worse because I now realize how nasty some of my countrymen can be. Worse because I realize that despite massive majorities in two of the three branches of government, real change is not an option in American politics. Worse because I see the vitriol becoming more vitriolic, the polarization becoming more polarized, the black becoming more black, the white becoming more white and the gray? What gray?
I feel worse because I know that any kind of real health care reform is dead. That the system is rigged against real change. That banks and insurance companies and investment firms are more important to those who govern – Republican or Democrat – than you are. Beautifully illustrated by the Supreme Court granting huge multinational corporations the same rights as you and I. And guaranteeing America’s fate as an oligarchy. “Jennifer Government“. Read it. It’s our – well, your – future.
I feel worse as I realize that the nasty, hate infused post-9/11 nationalism wasn’t just a passing trend. That it has blossomed into a particularly vicious sort of populism that loathes the ‘elite’, the educated, the thoughtful, the well-spoken. A sort of populism that feeds on sound bites and half truths and ignorance.
I feel worse because nothing ever changes. Because Barack Obama is no different that George II, Slick Willie, George I or Crazy Ronnie. Because the system is rigged.
I feel worse because I can’t go ‘home’ again. That I’ve had a taste of the alternative and it’s too sweet on my palate to give up. I spent 33 years as an American in America, becoming more and more frustrated and disillusioned. Feeling more and more powerless. Now every day I’m gone, I feel lighter. Happier. I can watch American politics from afar with mild amusement. I can enjoy it for it’s entertainment value. It’s the best reality TV show that nobody has thought to produce.
When it doesn’t affect you.
Go ‘home’ again?
Nope, I’ll take my adopted Antipodean island. I’ll take her languid climate and her blithe people. I’ll take her byzantine cricket and her bizarre ‘football’. I’ll take her dotty, drunken politics and her genial socialism. I’ll take her genial patriotism and inflated sense of international importance. Hell, I’ll even take her unfortunate penchant for mullets and coupe utility vehicles. Because it is summertime in Australia and the living is easy.
I’ve probably managed to piss off my American readers and offend my Australian readers. Ah well, what the hell. I’m going to the beach before the cricket starts and I have to fire up the barbie.
Happy Australia Day.
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by arizaphale
25 Jan 2010 at 23:03
I, personally, love your description of Australia. Also, I hate to give up on Obama but, sadly, I fear you may be right.
arizaphale´s last blog ..The Post Where I Catch Up On Everything…..
by The Unbearable Banishment
25 Jan 2010 at 23:10
Were you aware that the Supreme Court just removed the campaign contribution restrictions on corporations and unions? It’s a pretty big deal out here. Now, corporations and unions can buy advertising for their candidates and, worse, against the opposition. The next election cycle is going to be a blood bath of PAC money.
Do you have a guest room that can accommodate my family until we get on our feet there?
The kookaburra sound a lot like my mother-in-law and her bunco friends when they’re in the heat of a tournament.
The Unbearable Banishment´s last blog ..Ever since I was a young boy
by Rol
25 Jan 2010 at 23:59
“When it doesn’t affect you.”
But doesn’t it affect all of us? OK, maybe not things like healthcare, but many other objectional policies that will probably never get changed, no matter who’s in charge. It’d be more entertaining as an outsider if it had no effect on us whatsoever… I think you’ll have to move a lot further than Oz to achieve that!
Have a good Australia Day!
Rol´s last blog ..The Book Of Eli
by Cat
26 Jan 2010 at 00:09
This supreme court ruling is so scary and unbelievable that I am doing a good imitation of an ostrich and putting my head in the sand to not think about it.
I too am very disillusioned with Obama. I had great hopes, but now I’ve sort of sunk into a depression about the whole thing.
I can’t move to Australia to get away from it all, either. Angst absolutely hates your adopted country – I guess more in theory because he has never been there – because of censorship of video games.
Cat´s last blog ..Breaking Up is Hard to Do
by Blogging Mama Andrea
26 Jan 2010 at 01:01
I agree that things don’t seem likely to change. I don’t know that I want a healthcare system like some other countries though (and here I am speaking of Germany, the only other place I’ve lived). There won’t be a solution in my lifetime and probably not in my kids lifetime either.
I’ll take some of that beach though. Australia in summer sounds pretty good right now.
Blogging Mama Andrea´s last blog ..A Suburban Girls Southern Diary: Part Two – House Hunting
by jen
26 Jan 2010 at 01:12
you’ve just summed up for me why i was so despairing after the recent Masshole election.
nothing. ever. changes.
the vast majority of Americans are conservative and insular… and they like it that way.
which means that nothing. ever. changes.
now if only i could stop giving a shit.
jen´s last blog ..blog for choice 2010
by Noble Savage
26 Jan 2010 at 01:47
I think that it is perhaps a tad early to say that Obama has failed to live up to his progressive promises, after only one year, but it does seem like he’s shifting more and more towards the middle. He doesn’t really have a choice though, with all the extreme opposition from the far right. If he didn’t pull center and try to achieve some kind of balance, he’d just get yanked right down into the mud puddle and achieve nothing. It’s the nature of politics in a country so fundamentally divided. What we need is the United Red States of America and the United Blue States of America. Bring back the Civil War, I say!
Noble Savage´s last blog ..I had a vision of love
by Technobabe
26 Jan 2010 at 01:50
It made it more difficult to accept the facts as they are today, just as you describe, because we all had hope for change, and change for the better. Seeing that it cannot be allowed to happen by people with power makes is harder to take. I haven’t had health insurance for so many years that I don’t anticipate or even think of it in a personal way, but the half of the population here that would benefit from health care aid of some sort are out of luck. Thanks for the links to your Australia Day and the Jennifer Government book as well as Coltrane reminder. Enjoy your Australia Day. It is good to hear that things are going well for you in Australia.
Technobabe´s last blog ..Remember When
by April
26 Jan 2010 at 02:59
I think you’ve pretty much summed it up, unfortunately. I had high hopes too, but a year in so little has been done I’m befuddled. W seemed to be able to steamroller through things like the patriot act without the sort of majorities the Dems have, so WTF is going on? Are they just incompetent? Too nice, not good at the spin? They need to get their acts together or the mid-term elections are going to be gruesome.
Maybe we’ll start looking for jobs in Oz too.
I still feel like a mid-westerner stuck in Cali, it’s sometimes like they’re two different countries. I like the area, it’s the people and the politics that make me crazy. So hopefully in a year or so, we’ll be somewhere else, and I can hardly wait.
April´s last blog ..Wordless Wednesday: Flowers with Bokeh
by Dan
26 Jan 2010 at 04:24
We have a plan to move to Australia in 3 years. Over here in the UK it looks like a right wing party will come to power shortly and, while they are no where near as right wing as the republicans, I’m still not happy about what the change may bring.
I’m sure that Australian politics is equally as frustrating, but at least I’ll have the option of shrugging and saying “it’s not my country” (although technically it is as I have citizenship)
Dan´s last blog ..The greatest scientific experiment of all time
by Heather
26 Jan 2010 at 05:49
You took some of the words right out of my mouth for me. I NEVER thought I would say this, but, it is almost time for me to move back to Portugal. My kids are citizens and I can be too.
The U.S. is not to be trusted.
by Jill/Twipply Skwood
26 Jan 2010 at 06:28
“’ve probably managed to piss off my American readers…”
I think depress your American readers is more like it!
by barbara
26 Jan 2010 at 06:28
There is a little song i grew up with that goes
Kookaburra sits in the old gum tree, merry merry king of the bush is he, laugh kookaburra, laugh kookaburra gay your life must be!
Happy Australia Day
by rassles
26 Jan 2010 at 07:13
Sounds like flying monkeys, to me. The Kookaburras.
I made the decision last summer that I wanted to become uninformed, and I just stopped paying attention. This isn’t a smart plan, I know, and I don’t care. The fact is I have a job to do (which is one thing, and one thing only: to keep kids in school) so I’m just going to focus all of my energy on that, and the rest of politics can go fuck itself. I have other skills to hone.
rassles´s last blog ..Quilting and Grape Crush Are Like a Metaphor for Life Or Something
by kitty
26 Jan 2010 at 07:33
Unfortunately I didn’t get my act together enough to get tickets for the cricket. But I am making lamingtons and violet crumble cake to take to a BBQ. Also there’s a kookaburra right outside my window laughin’ it up as I type. True story. Have a good ‘un, glad you’re enjoying it here.
kitty´s last blog ..praise Jebus
by mondraussie
26 Jan 2010 at 08:26
No… you didn’t piss me off, you just made me feel unbearably homesick!
mondraussie´s last blog ..chasing gaudí (and discovering other things along the way)…
by Danielle
26 Jan 2010 at 10:24
I can’t help but feel under-whelmed on this Australia day after the lovely anti-immigration front cover and survey results in this past Sunday’s newspaper.
by Jessica Keith
26 Jan 2010 at 10:56
Hey, AFM! I’m glad you’ve “hit your stride” in your new home. I would imagine that it’s still frustrating to watch our ridiculous politics fumbling along over here. I still wish we could leave it all behind someday, but I don’t see how it could ever happen! Glad you found the place that fits you.
by Coal Miner's Granddaughter
26 Jan 2010 at 12:08
OK. Here’s my theory. You ready? It’s heady stuff.
Washington, D.C. is it’s own party.
There. I said it. And I don’t mean the “WHO CALLED THE COPS?” kind of party, I mean political party. Washington, in and of itself, is this giant, bureaucratic, steaming pile of crap. You have all these wonderfully, idealistic Democrats and Republicans and the people somewhere in between who want to run for office, change the bullshit, and do good for their constituents.
And then you get to the big city, and this horrible bureaucracy that has been in place for YEARS, running on lobbyists who throw money in their faces, civil servants who only lose their jobs when they die, and the media machine. It’s horrible. I honestly and truly believe that once you get to Washington as a Rep, Senator, President, or some newbie appointee, that “The Machine” grinds you into submission.
Unfortunately, I think our current president is trapped in the cogs of said machine, just like all of those around him. And it’s sad, really.
Which is why my once-idealistic husband who, in his youth, once wanted to be an agent of politic change, has said “Hell F*ck No!” to ever doing so.
It’s sad to watch.
I wish I was living in Bonaire singing “God Save The Queen!” in Dutch. Seriously.
Coal Miner’s Granddaughter´s last blog ..My Father-in-Law Hates Me
by Kerry
26 Jan 2010 at 18:29
First time I heard a kookaburra I was certain it was a monkey. Not nearly as annoying as magpies, though.
I felt so glad to be over here after I heard about the recent Supreme Court ruling, until I realized “back there” is still my home and I’ll most likely be returning.
On the bright side, at least I won’t have to watch Tebow’s pro-life Superbowl ad.
Kerry´s last blog ..Happy Australia Day!
by GatorMaid
26 Jan 2010 at 20:03
I’m glad for Tebow’s pro-life Superbowl ad, he’s taking a brave stand for life. As far as hope and change, I HOPE I have some CHANGE left when Obama and this Congress are done. Have a great time down-under.
by admin
26 Jan 2010 at 22:17
Arizaphale – Yeah, but you’re a pommy really, aren’t you?
TUB – Yep, that’s what tipped this post off. That Supreme Court decision? Corporations are people too? Come the hell on.
Rol – As the Chinese overlords start to exert more power over the States, I think they’ll have significantly less influence on the world stage. I’m hoping that the current quagmire at least convinces other western democracies to stay away from the “American model”. I think you have the American model to thank for the current British rail system. Your welcome.
Cat – Yeah, to be fair Australia has and is making some questionable decisions regarding free speech. But I could really care less about banning violent video games.
Andrea – I like the one we’ve got here. And I liked the one we had in the UK. I didn’t like the one in the U.S., but then I didn’t have insurance.
Jen – Keep working on it, it comes in time. Pretty liberating.
NS – “he’d just get yanked right down into the mud puddle and achieve nothing.” Isn’t that what’s happened? I mean, he got the stimulus, but that was just a stop gap.
Technobabe – Check out Jennifer Government, really is a good book.
April – I wonder the same thing. I think that Rove and Co. were just better at spinning fear. And the Dems just rolled over. The G.O.P. is a tougher opponent. Shame.
Dan – Australian politics is nowhere near as frustrating as American or British. And the 21st century Tories are about as right wing as the American Democrats. OK, maybe not quite.
Heather – I think they can be trusted to do nothing to change the things that need to be changed.
Jill – Ah, well, one of the two.
Barbara – I know. Me too, but I couldn’t find it anywhere. I don’t know why!
Rassles – I like your plan. It’s my plan these days, but I can’t help watching the American news. It’s like watching a car crash.
Kitty – And to you. I watched the cricket on the TV. Good match.
Mondraussie – Well, hope you got to celebrate in some way over there.
Danielle – One of these days I’m going to write a post on immigration. I have not very liberal views about it, actually.
JK – Thanks. Hope all is well with y’all.
CMGD – I like your theory. And I think you’re dead on. There has to be a certain amount of collusion between the parties anyway to keep out any other contenders.
Kerry – But isn’t Tebow like a demigod to you people? Is it not blasphemy to question his actions?
Gatormaid – “A sort of populism that feeds on sound bites and half truths and ignorance.” Thanks for illustrating my point.
by courtney
27 Jan 2010 at 04:16
I think you’ve just convinced me to move to Australia.
I also like Coal Miner’s Granddaughter’s theory. I’m going to think about that for awhile.
courtney´s last blog ..A Burning Question of the Familial Kind
by Reluctant Blogger
27 Jan 2010 at 08:04
Oh yes, you have to embrace the life if you have children. It is very unfair to bring children up as “expatriates” with no sense of belonging. It may only be a temporary stay for you but it may be the whole of their childhood.
America is not a good place to be gay. I am glad I do not have to live there.
To be honest, I also found Australia a little conservative. I miss it terribly and think it is a great place to bring up children, but it is more conservative than the UK.
by Seattledad (Luke, I am Your Father)
27 Jan 2010 at 08:31
Piss us off? Hell, you only speak the truth brother. You were spot on in your analysis and you know what? I am beginning to feel the exact same way myself.
And that picture of you guys on the beach? January here is Seattle and I am wishing I was there…
Happy Austrailia day.
Seattledad (Luke, I am Your Father)´s last blog ..Hexed
by Carolyn Online
27 Jan 2010 at 12:16
You’re just giddy because you get to live at the beach.
by Joe
27 Jan 2010 at 13:10
I won’t give up on Obama, but knowing that he’s “outnumbered” now… well… it just sucks. So, in three more years, his non-democratic opponent will talk about nothing about the broken promises Obama made.
Any good deals on 1500+ square foot homes over there? I need a garage, 2 baths, and at least 3 bedrooms (thinking of the future here).
Joe´s last blog ..Apple Tree Farm
by Vixen
27 Jan 2010 at 14:13
I remember the hope and pride I felt at his election. I cried on the phone the entire time, actually two phones, one with my dad and one with my daughter. And now we sit here so disillusioned. All of us frustrated. I started this administration as a middle class proud American. One year later, I am a poor, disaffected American who receives no help from my government and their programs and sees no future. All that in addition to the fact that I have a serious medical that needs medical attention and I can’t get the care I need.
I think Australia sounds pretty damned awesome about now. If I could figure out how to move three families all at once, cuz I can’t leave the grandkids behind. Sigh.
Vixen´s last blog ..Everything ends. But there are always new beginnings.
by Papa Bradstein
27 Jan 2010 at 14:24
In the midst of a nice partisan debate on the News Hour after Obama was elected, and before he was sworn in, David Brooks of the NY Times was asked what he thought Obama would be like when elected. He immediately replied that he thought Obama would be a conventional Democratic president, similar to Clinton. Often, the enemy gives a better appraisal of your friends than you can manage.
Papa Bradstein´s last blog ..Top Chef [Flickr]
by ZenMom
27 Jan 2010 at 15:28
Can I come live with you guys?
ZenMom´s last blog ..I need a hero
by barbara
27 Jan 2010 at 15:44
The kookaburra song
http://alldownunder.com/oz-u/songs/kookaburra-song-9.htm
by Not Afraid To Use It
28 Jan 2010 at 01:55
This is the same discussion hubbie and I have been having–if it is time for us to move to greener pastures. I really would rather not go back to Sweden, and my parents would kill me if we moved to your locale. We are keeping our options open, though. Great post.
Not Afraid To Use It´s last blog ..When Passive and Aggressive Meet At a Party
by Lora
28 Jan 2010 at 13:32
I’m just so sad that the right wingers are so damned rich and strong. They may be a minority, but they are so powerful. It’s sick.
Sick, sick, sick.
We are under their thumbs.
As a 33 year old American, I can say you are right.
33 years are enough here.
by Nigel
28 Jan 2010 at 20:21
AFM, like many others you didn’t piss off this Australian, in fact I loved your honesty. Also like many others, I reckon it’s too soon to give up on Obama – surely he’s trying to turn around a pretty bloody big ship and I get the sense that he’s at least turned around, to a certain extent anyway, a culture of inwardness to a culture of outwardness. Though I might be just being a little romantic on this. Luckily in this Australian part of the world we’ve got plenty of beaches where we can just go and chill out from all the politics (I say that even though the nearest beach to me that’s not man-made and stuck onto a lake is 3 hours away). ‘Happy Australia Day’? I reckon we should change it to ‘Happy Let’s Make Strangers Feel Welcome Day’. Cheers, Nigel.
Nigel´s last blog ..Music, art, souring temperatures and nationalism have their Big Day Out in Sydney
by Jud
29 Jan 2010 at 01:31
Yes, politics off doesn’t change much. Lots of bickering and infighting. But some of that was the design of the framers of the Consitution, if I remember my studies correctly.
Some of the sweeping changes and reforms that the supporters of Obama would like to see aren’t happening because of the lack of support in Congress. Thus, we are prevented from the “tyranny of the majority”.
There are a lot of things I would like to see changed here in the States, but the process really isn’t one of them.
Jud´s last blog ..Pupps
by mickey
29 Jan 2010 at 04:28
Got any room left over there for me?
Problem here is, the individuals who stand to benefit the most from the system are the ones most empowered to use it. And they do, all else be damned.
Plus, it’s winter here. What the f?
mickey´s last blog ..Here’s an idea I can hang my coat on
by blues
29 Jan 2010 at 06:02
I get it Chris. It’s just so different to see it from a distance.
blues´s last blog ..Old doll, old wall, new window
by Margaret (Nanny Goats)
29 Jan 2010 at 06:25
Well you certainly didn’t offend or piss off THIS American. I don’t blame you one stinking lousy little bit. In fact, I envy you.
And that Kookaburra? I didn’t know it was a bird making that noise! I thought it was a monkey! I had to look it up just to see what was making all that ruckus!

Margaret (Nanny Goats)´s last blog ..Retro Desserts: There’s a Cake For That
by ms picket to you
29 Jan 2010 at 16:10
Here’s what I know after seeing the parts of the world that I have: I would leave the perfect beaches of Tunisia behind forever so my daughters could be raised in freedom. I would never go to Egypt to live as my atheist kids might suffer there. And I would forgo London: who your born to matters more than who you are.
The world is so large and so imperfect.
I know I am raising my kids in the most flawed nation on earth, but I am also raising my kids in a country that responds to disasters always. Always. I know I am raising my kids in a country that struggles (publicly) with what it aims to do, bit I still believe, like Elvis, that our aim is true.
ms picket to you´s last blog ..Five Days of Everydays, or Blog Bootcamp
by Ginny
30 Jan 2010 at 00:19
If the sun ever gets to be too much, there’s always Canada. Hell, our unofficial slogan is “Canada – We Are SOOO Not America!”
Happy Australia Day.
Ginny´s last blog ..Breaking Up Is (Surprisingly, Not That) Hard to Do
by Andrea
30 Jan 2010 at 01:39
The irony is that I don’t think you’ll truly and completely accept that your family is Australian until you start caring as much about Australian politics at least as much as you still do about US politics.
by muskrat
02 Feb 2010 at 14:32
Damnation, you piss me off.
I think Heather’s close to right, though it saddens me. One of the reasons I joined the military and went to lawschool is that that I thought both would be good prereqs to serving as a politician one day. I volunteered for a deployment to Andrews AFB in 2006, and loved every free hour I had to explore Washington, DC for the 130 days I got to call it “home.” But I don’t think the folks who work there are in awe of its history and the framers’ intent when they wrote the documents that sit behind glass in the Archives any more. Maybe they were when they made the decisions that lead to their initially getting elected, but they aren’t any more.
muskrat´s last blog ..up yours, hackers
by ellie
02 Feb 2010 at 22:12
Comparing Obama to W is a little unfair.
W provided much more entertainment value through his gaffes.
ellie´s last blog ..Grief Strikes
by GatorMaid
06 Feb 2010 at 17:57
I think you’re “misunderestimating” your man. He called a Navy Corpsman a “corpseman” three times at the Presidential Prayer Breakfast this week. Not to mention the time he said his bowling skills were those of a Special Olympian, and other bloopers. Come on that’s a difficult job to try to speak off-the-cuff or even with a tele-prompter. Whether we agree with his policies or not I hope he’s granted a little more “gaffe grace” than was given to Bush.
by Martin Kono
15 Feb 2010 at 17:56
Is is great to live in a place when sun shines every day and summer never goes away. Climate in my neighborhood is a little bit more rainy, cold, windy and dark (if I could use such expression).
by Nigel
24 Feb 2010 at 17:03
Hi AFM, lovely to revisit this post, though I thought you might want to know about the typo in the first sentence – a misplaced ‘here’. Regards, the Canberra Pedant.
Nigel´s last blog ..Lost in thyme again