Not Max, our now five month old son, doesn’t get a lot of face time here at A Free Man. This accurately reflects his position in real life, squarely in the shadow of his older brother. Boy Z walks and talks and runs and throws and hits a cricket ball and thus earns far more than his fair share of paternal attention. Not Max eats and sleeps and cries and soils himself, thus earning himself the occasional paternal grumble and not much more.
It’s not that I don’t like the boy, it’s just that he doesn’t do much.
Dr. O’C has recently, and rightly, begun to point out the inherent unfairness of this situation. Whenever I enter a room, Not Max turns to me and sprouts a big baby smile. One which typically gets ignored in favor of whatever Boy Z is doing at the time. On an
academic level I know that it isn’t a good idea to play favorites. But on a practical level, I have a limited amount of time on the ground at home and figure that I should dispense it where it is most valued.
“He’s going to spend his whole life trying to get your approval, Chris”, I’ve been chastised on more than one recent occasion.
Well, as someone who spent a fair bit of my teenage and young adult years in a quest for paternal approval, I could relate to that. Therefore, I’ve been trying to improve the quality of my interaction with young Not Max. It’s getting a bit easier as the boy has added rolling over and laughter to his repertoire.
But he still hasn’t featured much in the space. So, in the interest of reducing future therapy bills, I wanted to give Not Max a blog post in which he featured as a main character. On the rare occasions that the boy gets hot and bothered and it isn’t about food or sleep, the best way I’ve found to make him happy is music. Preferably loud and preferably with paternal vocal accompaniment. Recently we introduced the tried and true door frame bouncer, which offers an extension of our musical appreciation from listening to active participation.
Ah, let me just show you.
Without further ado, here’s your Not Max in his first starring (or at least co-starring) roll:
I would just like to point out that I didn’t choose “Copacabana”, it just came up randomly on my iPod. Truly.
—————————–
If you must, Barry Manilow’s “Ultimate Manilow” is available from
.
Popularity: 9% [?]

Stumble Upon
Del.icio.us
Buzz















by The Unbearable Banishment
03 Feb 2010 at 12:14
Second child syndrome. Wait for it. I had it in spades. Playing dusty Barry Manilow songs isn’t going to help matters. And that bouncy-thing? Do they make those for adults by any chance?
The Unbearable Banishment´s last blog ..Tim Burton at MoMA
by chris
03 Feb 2010 at 12:51
Looks like Z’s dancing skills have finally caught up to Izzy:) And Not Max is adorable, almost makes me want another. Almost.
chris´s last blog ..Formerly Fun Facts
by Beth
03 Feb 2010 at 13:01
Hilarious! Not Max looks like he is tap dancing! And I’m truly cracking up over the fact that you have Barry Manilow on your iPod.
BTW – My husband and I just got back from a trip to Athens. We ate our way through town.
Beth´s last blog ..Say what?
by Seattledad (Luke, I am Your Father)
03 Feb 2010 at 15:11
You want to avoid future therapy, but you have him dance to Manilow? You owe him another makeup post for that.
Seattledad (Luke, I am Your Father)´s last blog ..Naturally, He’s a Whiz Kid
by barbara
03 Feb 2010 at 15:11
I predict your youngest one will love music and writing and boy z will be the sports nut!
by headbang8
03 Feb 2010 at 16:18
Before their demise, I served Kodak as a client. They once formed a working party dedicated to getting parents to take as many pictures of their second and subsequent children, as they did their first. The snap rate declines by as much as 50%
By the way, Copacabana features prominently in the story of Headbang’s Karaoke Disgrace.
headbang8´s last blog ..English in Action. Sale Now!
by Noble Savage
03 Feb 2010 at 19:09
Poor chap. I was a second child. Hmmph. Get your ass in there an interact!
That said, Not Max is still officially A Blob, as my husband would say. He has a firm rule about the first six months being boring and pointless but once they can eat some solid food, start crawling, be thrown around with a bit more gusto, he becomes smitten. Hang on Not Max,just another month or so before your Daddy learns to appreciate you!

Noble Savage´s last blog ..Sometimes you feel like a Brit, sometimes you don’t
by Cat
03 Feb 2010 at 23:25
I believe that archeologists hundreds of years from now will be very confused by that door jam bouncy thing. Fortunately, if they see a copy of your film accompanied with the Copa, any confusion will be cleared up immediately. They’ll know it’s some sort of torture device.
Cat´s last blog ..Nothing to Do
by SciFi Dad
03 Feb 2010 at 23:51
You had me until the Barry Manilow, now I’m torn between calling your parenting style “ignoring” or “psychologically traumatizing”.
SciFi Dad´s last blog ..Change, Revisited
by Jacob
04 Feb 2010 at 00:17
Yes, because making him the star of a post where you quite clearly state that you prefer the older son is going to make him feel better about himself.
That being said, I understand. Babies are boring. The first one is moderately interesting those first few months only because everything is new. With the second one, I’m sure the novelty has worn off. Toddlers and the older end of babies are much more interesting.
This is part of why I’m only having one. I’m also only having one because I don’t want to go through the sleepless nights, diapers, and temper tantrums again. I also want to retire as soon as possible and another kid would likely extend my time in the working sector.
Jacob´s last blog ..Every Day Is Exactly the Same
by Not Afraid To Use It
04 Feb 2010 at 00:48
The fact that Copacabana is on your iPod shuffled in with all your other indie music is exactly why I have always held you in such high esteem. Musical eccentricity is a sign of genius, you know.
Not Afraid To Use It´s last blog ..The Original Prankster
by Reluctant Blogger
04 Feb 2010 at 01:09
Oh yes, it’s inevitable that each child who comes along has to work harder to get the parents’ attention. I have four children and my youngest is so loud. He’s had to be.
My eldest son loved the baby bouncer. If he ever got crotchety that would cheer him up instantly. I wish they made one for adults. Although I guess we’d need bigger stronger doors!
by Allie
04 Feb 2010 at 01:31
He sure is cute though! I love how honest you are about this. I love love love little kids, but before they can talk, I have a hard time holding interest.
Be careful. Apparently, my first sentence was “I like that song,” and it was in reference to Copa. I think it set the tone for my awful taste in music.

Allie´s last blog ..Writing Exercises
by Jason
04 Feb 2010 at 01:43
Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! Can’t…..stop…..lauging!!!!! All these years I’ve thought you had pretty good taste in music. But now I come to find out that you’ve been a closet Fanilow!
by Heather
04 Feb 2010 at 14:35
Don’t worry. I am having the opposite problem. Mancub at 12 is harder to engage with than little girl. Fortunately we have 2 parents and different phases apeal more to one or the other.
But, still try. Not Max is pretty darn cute.
by rassles
05 Feb 2010 at 04:14
I say fuck it, and wait til he’s interesting.
(I am not a parent)
rassles´s last blog ..Strongest One There Is
by courtney
05 Feb 2010 at 08:23
Yeah, I bet Copa Cabana came up “randomly.” Uh-huh.
Looks like you’ve got yourself a couple of Fanilows!
courtney´s last blog ..Bust the Dialect, I’m the (Wo)man in Command
by Jill/Twipply Skwood
05 Feb 2010 at 23:49
That is SO CUTE!!!!! The look on his face! And the matching outfits!!!!!!!
I expressed my opinion to my gal that there must be a little guy in my ipod who’s taste leans a little differently than mine. And then my gal told me there was – that she saw it on a commercial. So that’s who probably picked out the song.
As far as the second kid goes – yes, it’s hard to find the time for two. I forgot to mention that one my “Two is four times the work and ten times the laundry” equation. And it IS right to make the effort to give him time. But as for future therapy – second children truly get their own distinct benefits. I think of them as sort of more stability/consistency in parenting since you’ve done this before, less hysteria when things go wrong, more socialization from older brother, less pressure, etc. etc. etc. But then I’m a first kid…
Jill/Twipply Skwood´s last blog ..Too Cold for Crackheads
by Gwen Jackson
06 Feb 2010 at 02:53
OK, your boys are ridiculously cute. Thanks for sharing that little video. I’m sort of like you in that I find the newborn phase of a child’s life a bit tedious. Obviously right now I’m longing for my newborns to come home, but once they’re here I know that after a week or so I’ll be ready for them to DO something other than eat and sleep and soil diapers.
by Martin Kono
11 Feb 2010 at 19:12
Beautiful child. I heard many opinions about small babies listening to classical music in their early years make them later more sensitive to art and more intelligent. I wonder will I give my child (I have none yet) some samples of classical music? That is a total mystery to me.