Reason #143 that I love Australia: public holidays for trivial reasons. There’s the Queen’s Birthday in June (which is not actually the current or any past Queen of England’s birthday), Family and Community Day in the ACT in September, Eight Hours Day in Tasmania in March, Picnic Day in the Northern Territories in August and yesterday’s Adelaide Cup Day. A day off for a horse race. I’d compare it to having a day off for the Kentucky Derby, but the Adelaide Cup isn’t that big. It’s more like having a day off for some stakes race at Pimlico.
Whatever, I’ll take it. There’s nothing better than a long weekend and the resulting short work week.
Even when it rains.
It rained Saturday when Boy Z and I went to WOMADelaide.
But a bit of rain didn’t stop us. Calexico was as great as I remembered them and Boy Z got right into it, entertaining our neighbours nearly as much as the band did. You’ve got to love a child’s complete lack of inhibition.

We also dug Melbourne’s The Public Opinion Afro Orchestra, though we were both too waterlogged for dancing by then and Boy Z was awestruck by Compagnie Transe Express’s aerial drummers. Despite the rain and lack of company, we had a great time and I’m really glad we did it. With 20,000 plus in attendance, I was petrified that I was going to lose the boy, so I wrote his name and my mobile phone number in ‘permanent’ marker on his arm.

A safety measure that promptly washed away in the rain. Fortunately it wasn’t necessary. I lost sight of him a couple of times, for mere moments. But those moments – there’s no bigger pit than the one I briefly felt in my stomach. It’s such a fine line to tread. I don’t want to be one of those smothering parents that puts his kid on a leash and never lets him outside. Similarly, though, I don’t want to be one of those parents that ends up on the six o’clock news as a cautionary tale.
That time, six hours or so on an autumn Saturday, was priceless. Irreplaceable. I didn’t want it to end, nor did the boy. But as the rain progressed from sporadic to steady to driving I had to make the responsible parenting decision to pull out. Despite cries of “I don’t want to go. I want more music” and the twanging of my own heart strings, I led us home.
It rained Sunday when we helped clean up Australia. But despite the rain, we spent an hour picking up trash as a family. I’m glad we did it, as citizenship is one of those values I want to instill in my boys and I doubt we’ve got many years that we can pass off picking up rubbish as a fun activity. What I learned on Sunday is that the bulk of roadside trash is cigarette packets and McDonalds wrappers. I’ve got to give Mickey D’s credit, though, they were one of the corporate sponsors. Fair enough since it was their trash we were picking up.

It rained Monday. And we danced. Nonetheless. And Boy Z split his lip and bled all over the place. And I felt physically sick for an hour or so afterward. I’ve seen enough of my son’s blood. More than enough. I’ve had it crusted all over my chest while I’ve cradled him in the emergency room. In the impossible event that he never bleeds again, I would be a happy man. But that isn’t going to happen. Because this parenting thing is rife with danger. You can lose them in a crowd of thousands of hippies, you can watch them get attacked by your dog and, even cosseted away in the house, you can stand by powerless as they bash their face into the computer desk. Again. And every one of these near misses just rips you from the inside. You play the tape over and over in your head. Because they’re a part of you – biologically and emotionally – and when they hurt, you hurt.

And my tenses are all buggered up and I have a tendency to write run on sentences and start them with coordinating conjunctions and I never know where to put a damn comma. And it is still raining.
But despite all the pain that’s inherent in this thing, despite the fear and the sorrow and the things that just break your heart on a daily basis, I didn’t really know what live and love were all about until I had kids. And watching my older son twirl like a dervish in the rain to Calexico makes up for it all.

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This track has nothing to do with anything except that it’s a great song for dancing with little boys. The late, great Warren Zevon’s “A Quiet Normal Life – The Best of Warren Zevon” is available from
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by arizaphale
09 Mar 2010 at 23:25
I loved reading this to the strains of ‘Ah-hooooo’! So sorry we missed sharing it with you but sounds like it was probably all the more special for being just the two of you. One of these days we’ll be able to afford days out like this again. Until then there’s always ‘Clipsal’. (only $38.00…only 3 bands though).
Look at that boy dance!
Ah-hoooooooooooooo!
arizaphale´s last blog ..Never Work With Dogs or Kids
by Technobabe
09 Mar 2010 at 23:45
Sounds like you and Boy Z enjoyed your time together. He looks like he gets into the music, like he was on the video you played of both boys. My granddaughter and I would dance to the end of Shrek over and over. Music reaches each one of us. You are right, the split lip is one of many owwies and doesn’t slow them down. Nice father and son post as well as paying tribute to the many Australian holidays.
Technobabe´s last blog ..Some Things I Cannot Speak Of
by The Unbearable Banishment
10 Mar 2010 at 00:01
A lovely post. A lovely country. I can see why you never look back.
Warren Zevon is the most under-appreciated songwriter in America. Mr. Bad Example has more plot and character than a typical Michael Bay movie.
The Unbearable Banishment´s last blog ..My oldest friend
by Coal Miner's Granddaughter
10 Mar 2010 at 01:11
I know what you mean about childhood injuries. The kids have decided that doors are toys and despite our admonishments to the contrary, they don’t listen. Until last night. When J-man’s left ring and pinky finger were slammed in the bathroom door. Yeah. Big, horrible, sloppy crocodile tears and wails ensued. His fingernail is probably going to fall off. And his brother and sister learned a valuable lesson.
Kills me. Every time.
Coal Miner’s Granddaughter´s last blog ..Dorks Unite! (Part Deux)
by Gappy
10 Mar 2010 at 01:40
Go Boy Z go!
Looks like he’s got himself some nifty moves there. I’m also liking the psychedelic t-shirt. Right at home amongst all the hippies, that’s what I like to see.
Glad you had a good time.
Gappy´s last blog ..Costume Dramas
by Seattledad (Luke, I am Your Father)
10 Mar 2010 at 01:57
I am daily reminded that all those insignificant little things you do with your kids, really aren’t. For dad’s like us, they mean more than we could have ever imagined.
Great post.
Seattledad (Luke, I am Your Father)´s last blog ..Life and Taxes
by Jud
10 Mar 2010 at 03:11
Chris….Looks like a grand day out. Enjoying each phase of the wee ones’ lives is a great joy of parenting. There is plenty of pain, too, as you have found.
Jud´s last blog ..The Return of the Dog
by SciFi Dad
10 Mar 2010 at 04:45
I know the feeling of dread that you wrote about upon losing sight of your son. I don’t know if there’s anything quite like that sensation of blood draining from your face as you frantically scour the ground, only to find them just out of your peripheral vision.
SciFi Dad´s last blog ..How I Met Their Mother – Part 3
by chris
10 Mar 2010 at 06:24
The writing on the arm thing?
Fucking genius.
by chris
10 Mar 2010 at 06:24
Next time use a Sharpie:)
chris´s last blog ..Ohm, Have You Seen My Chakra?
by Nigel
10 Mar 2010 at 06:25
Kids aren’t on my radar, as in I don’t want one of my own, I’m not even interested in other people’s kids. And reading this post makes me understand why: I’d be a nervous-nelly dad, and I even get nervous around other people’s kids. They’re just so fragile, though a friend of mine who has two of her own said they’re actually quite hardy, though I’m not convinced. I’m nervous enough around my dogs and the cat. But still I’m partly envious of you being able to take your child – your flesh and blood – to a concert and watch him dance like there’s no tomorrow. I wish I could dance like there’s no tomorrow; sometimes I wish I could be a kid again, but then I remember that whole school thing.
Nigel´s last blog ..How to be a wedding revolutionary
by Jacob
10 Mar 2010 at 06:38
On the grammar issues: Starting with a coordinating conjunction is fine for good writers. It’s obvious when a writer does it because they are unclear thinkers and when they’re doing it for aesthetic reasons. As for commas, unless their omission creates potential misunderstanding or difficult for the reader, don’t worry about them. Grammar and the related sciences of language are all utilitarian, even if they aren’t taught that way in grade school. They’re there to help us understand the written form of the language that doesn’t benefit from a speaker’s timing, inflection, and body language. If the writing is clear and reads easily, you’ve done a good enough job. No one is going to question your literacy anyway.
That tense thing is another story. Only idiots shift their tenses.
Jacob´s last blog ..Old Houses Suck
by People in the Sun
10 Mar 2010 at 06:45
I went with a few other fathers to the children museum downtown, and the first thing we did was go to take our coats off. So I’m watching my boy take his coat off, then his sweatshirt, and then it wasn’t him. I started walking around, mumbling, “They’re all blonds. There are too many blond kids here. He can’t even take his clothes off by himself yet. Why would he just walk away from me? Too many blonds here. Doesn’t make sense.”
And then I found him. Lost him again about ten minutes later. We held hands for about an hour later. He didn’t like it.
People in the Sun´s last blog ..A Story With a Punchline
by Blogging Mama Andrea
10 Mar 2010 at 06:50
I always make my kids wear bright lime t-shirts and carry my husbands business card in their pockets when we do stuff like that. Just the mere thought that I might lose them scares the daylights out of me.
It sounds like a great way to spend a day though. Rain or not.
Blogging Mama Andrea´s last blog ..Can I bend your ear?
by admin
10 Mar 2010 at 09:12
Arizaphale – Clipsal may only be $38 but it’s full of bogans. Not interested. You may know the answer to this – who is Status Quo?
Technobabe – We did have a grand old time.
TUB – On Zevon, I know! Why is he never mentioned with Dylan and Cohen and their ilk. He was an incredible songwriter. Mr. Bad Example is one of my favorite songs ever.
CMGD – Mine doesn’t seem to learn any lessons yet. When’s that happen?
Gappy – His Mum is going to be underwhelmed to hear that he’s wearing a hippy shirt. (But it totally is.)
Seattledad – Yeah, but you know what? They aren’t going to remember any of this. I don’t know how to feel about that.
Jud – The pain sucks. Not in the adverts.
SciFi – I was trying not to be paranoid about it all day, which just made me more paranoid.
Chris – I know. If you ask Boy Z whether I’m a genius or not he’ll tell you that I most certainly am. But apparently too cheap to buy proper permanent markers.
Nigel – The school thing is yet to come and that was absolutely the worst part of my childhood. I’m hoping for better for my boys.
Jacob – Are you calling me an idiot?
PIS – After the second time I misplaced him I made him hold my hand until he absolutely spat it.
Andrea – I thought about the fluorescent clothing thing, but it made him look like a miniature traffic warden.
by muskrat
10 Mar 2010 at 11:41
But what about Canberra Day? Too good to celebrate it, huh?
muskrat´s last blog ..step away from the easel
by admin
10 Mar 2010 at 11:47
Muskrat – I don’t live in fucking Canberra. Do you celebrate Kansas City Day?
by Not Afraid To Use It
10 Mar 2010 at 13:11
Love that your boys day out went so well and that you had such a great time. They will lost that lack of self-consciousness too quickly. What a great experience for you both.
by courtney
10 Mar 2010 at 13:57
I love it when parents raise their kids to be music lovers.
The week I spent looking after a 2-year-old last year made me think the whole child-leash thing is not so bad. Not that I’d ever do it, but I see the appeal.
courtney´s last blog ..I’ve Got Nothing To Say To You
by Agnes
10 Mar 2010 at 14:13
We had a day off here in VIC on Monday too, only ours was Labour Day.
I reckon the UK tops for unnecessary holidays though. I was there for only two months last year and I reckon there were at least half a dozen ‘Bank Holidays’ during my stay. Unreal.
On a different note entirely, my eldest nephew is 4, and our latest thing involves him listening to my ipod and racing up to me when he comes across a song he likes and making me note it down so that I can put it on a CD that he can listen to while he sleeps.
The last CD included the Decemberists, Sufjan, We Are Scientists, Interpol, Sigur Ros, The Felice Brothers, Iron & Wine and Okkervil River. The kid’s got some taste!
Agnes´s last blog ..April Smith & The Great Picture Show
by admin
10 Mar 2010 at 15:02
NATUI – That’s what I’m afraid of, the development of inhibition in the boys. Sad.
Courtney – I understand the attraction of the kid leash thing, but:
1. Leashes are for dogs.
2. The people that have their kids on leashes are almost always dodgy looking.
Agnes – I spent nearly four years in the UK and I still don’t understand what a Bank Holiday is.
by Kevin C Jones
10 Mar 2010 at 23:10
When I was 2? and doing my first PhD I was adopted as a step-dad by a child named Simeon. We both grew up together until I left for America.. I think it was about a year later that I found out that he was killed by a truck that literally grabbed the front of his bike and pulled him under. He could have let go of the handles and saved himself. Who knows? I bought him the bike.
by Jacob
11 Mar 2010 at 02:38
I don’t know. I didn’t notice the tense shifts, so maybe I was and maybe I wasn’t.
Jacob´s last blog ..Old Houses Suck
by muskrat
11 Mar 2010 at 12:30
Ha! Is there a Kansas City day? Does it involve BBQ and coed streaking? If so, then yes, I celebrate it from time to time.
muskrat´s last blog ..the unartistic conception (and, a fisher price sex toy!)
by Heather
11 Mar 2010 at 15:30
Ah, boys and blood. I am sorry to say that it’s here to stay.
Heather´s last blog ..I Sing the Story of your Pilgrim Soul
by Jill/Twipply Skwood
11 Mar 2010 at 22:48
You know what’s a really great book for helping to find the line between smothering leash parent and six o’clock news parent? It’s called Protecting the Gift by Gavin De Becker. I’m recommending it without having read it in many years. but what I most remember is that I thought it was going to scare me more toward the leash parent thing and it turned out to really have some interesting things to think about and wasn’t scary at all.
Man oh man – how I sometimes wish that you hurting when they hurt thing weren’t true. Or as I heard from my dad, “You’re only as happy as your unhappiest child.”
Glad you had a good time!
Jill/Twipply Skwood´s last blog ..Dodged Another One
by Allie
12 Mar 2010 at 03:29
That’s so cool that you two did that together!
Also, you wrote your name and number on your kid – you are so awesome.
Allie´s last blog ..I totally want to produce a 10 Minute Booty Blast-Off Cardio Atomic Kickboxing Yoga-lates video
by Papa Bradstein
13 Mar 2010 at 21:46
Thanks for the tip about Compagnie Transe Express. What an amazing show that must have been.
As for the heartbreaks and blood, yeah, you’re spot on there. I can still see my son’s head bouncing off the step just out of reach of myself and Mama as he split his chin open. He was just learning to crawl and had turned around to smile at us when one of his hands slipped out from under him.
If we didn’t love them so much, it wouldn’t hurt so bad.
Papa Bradstein´s last blog ..Pinkie and the rock [Flickr]
by Margaret (Nanny Goats)
15 Mar 2010 at 06:03
I love this post. So nicely written and heartfelt and moving and….rainy. So much rain, I kept reaching for my umbrella while reading this.

Margaret (Nanny Goats)´s last blog ..Goat Thing of the Day: Rule #1, Vikings, and Nigerians
by yellojkt
15 Mar 2010 at 11:55
I could use some more silly holidays. I don’t even get Presidents Day off.
by sarala
16 Mar 2010 at 02:15
Hi, Looks like life is good Down Under. I’ve wanted to do one of the garbage clean ups on Lake Michigan with my kids but never gotten to it. Mine are too old to think of it as a great adventure but might be convinced with some serious arm twisting.
Or I could just do it solo.
We’ve spring rains here but since they foretell better weather we are grudgingly enjoying them. It is good to be nearly past snow season. I’m looking forward to putting the salt and shovels away!
sarala´s last blog ..Fun with Packaging
by edenland
17 Mar 2010 at 10:42
Beautiful post …. beautiful photos! Good on you for doing Clean Up Australia, I have never done it, whoopsies.
Love to you mate XO
by Here In Franklin
19 Mar 2010 at 11:45
“Lately he’s been overheard in Mayfair….’”
Here In Franklin´s last blog ..A Walk Through the English Countryside
by Dina
24 Mar 2010 at 05:51
Beautiful post about the struggles of parenthood. I love the idea of writing your name on your son’s arm in permanent marker. I was disappointed to hear it washed off in the rain. Although I guess it’s good to know that water will remove such a marking.
It is incredibly hard to see our children get hurt, and it’s also hard to see other children get hurt, and imagine that could be our child one day. I guess that’s what gives us empathy for other parents, and that’s much needed in this world.
by blues
25 Mar 2010 at 04:19
Wow. I’ve really missed you. Boy Z is so big. And I’m jealous of holidays and Calexico. Well, we have a lot of holidays here as well, I just don’t get paid when they come around, which sucks.
The other day I was having beers in a plaza with some friends. The plaza was jam packed full of people like it always is on Saturdays, full of groups of friends standing around with beers. Some woman with a child had lost her other child. ‘Miguuuuuuuuuuueeeeeeel’ was the blood curdling call that she let out while her little five or six year old son behind her called out the same thing, his face all streaked with tears. People tried to stop her to get some description of what the boy looked like so we could all start helping her, but it was as if she was gone somewhere. It was pretty funny because about 200 people suddenly started looking for little Miguel and within moments he was found. But that mom’s panic was so sobering and stayed with me all day. I could just completely imagine myself in her shoes.
blues´s last blog ..I’m already gone
by rassles
30 Mar 2010 at 05:32
Dude, your son’s got a sweet fucking tat. NICE.
I mean, brilliant.
rassles´s last blog ..I Refuse to be a Weenus