A Free Man

“She’s got eyes of deepest blue
He’s got hair that’s green
Everybody’s got nice stuff but me
I wish I had the kind of cash
To make heads turn when I walk past
I wish I could live in luxury
Everybody’s got nice stuff but me…”

-The Dead Milkmen - “Everybody’s Got Nice Stuff But Me”

As our bus pulled away from Oxford on a cold late-March morning, Dr. O’C uttered the phrase that I knew would define the next month or so of our lives:

“We’re homeless with too much luggage.”

And that was the case as we trundled our way down to Oz, via family visits on the way. Living out of a few suitcases, going places but nowhere fast. It wasn’t easy, but it was manageable - especially with an end date, a light at the end of the tunnel. Maybe I was delusional, but I figured most of the stuff that we shipped from Britain would get to Oz shortly after we did. I assumed that I’d be reunited with my computer, the bulk of my clothes, my books, my kitchen knives, and so on. If you had told me that four months after leaving Britain we would still be living out of the same suitcases, well, I certainly would have packed more socks.

But, nearly four months to the day that Simpsons Removal and Storage came and collected our worldly possessions I’m still cycling through the same handful of underwear, still staring at blank walls in our new home, still cursing at the creaky old Mac laptop. I’m still shivering my way to the bus stop in the morning in a completely unsuitable jacket (that I nearly threw away when we left Sweden). And Z has grown out of all the Georgia Bulldogs clothing that we brought with us. At least that’s what Dr. O’C tells me.

Now, you’re probably thinking to yourself, how long does it take for a container full of personal itemes to get from England to Australia? Is four months a long time? Average cargo ship takes 32 -40 days - less than six weeks - to make that voyage, which begs the question - where has our stuff been?

Well for the first two months, it sat in the Simpsons Removals and Storage* warehouse in Kent. You see, when Dr. O’C negotiated the deal with Simpsons (this was during her “Don’t Get Done, Get Dom” phase) they neglected to point out that despite being a moving company, they actually suck quite badly at moving things. This lapse in providing us with accurate information sort of foreshadowed the remainder of our experience with them. Customer service is not Simpsons Removal and Storage’s strong point. They neglected to let us know anything about our shipment, they neglected to let us know when we owed them money, they neglected to let us know when payments didn’t clear properly.

To be fair to Simpsons**, as uninspired I am to do so, it’s not all their fault. They finally got our container to Melbourne in late June. For the last month it has been sitting in Customs in Melbourne waiting for inspection. It was inspected and contraband was found in the form of a stupid little wooden seagull, common in seafood restaurants all over the Atlantic seaboard. Australian Customs prides itself in protecting Australia’s borders from the entry of illegal and harmful goods, potential terrorist threats and unauthorised people. And apparently tacky sculpture. The best part? We had the option of paying Customs $90 to destroy the seagull or $260 to irradiate it and make it safe for Australia. I guess you’ve got to pay for all that protection somehow. To add insult to injury, we had to wait another week or so for the customs agents to come back and burn the damn bird.

Barring any unforeseen circumstances the 36 boxes containing the physical trappings of our lives will be on our doorstep by Thursday.

—————–

* I’m repeatedly naming Simpsons Removals & Storage, the shipping company from Kent (UK), because I’m hoping that when ‘Googled’ this post will be available for people who are thinking of using Simpsons Removal & Storage for their move. Don’t do it.

** That was Simpsons Removal and Storage.

———–

The Dead Milkmen’s “Beelzebubba” is available from .

 

 The Dead Milkmen - "Everybody's Got Nice Stuff But Me" [2:50m]: Play Now | Play in Popup | Download

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Thank goodness for the library! After a week in Aus I’ve found a source for free, reliable, internet. We joined the library at Noarlunga yesterday and I spent an hour in wireless surfing bliss. It would have been more than an hour but apparently there is a download limit that I exceeded fairly rapidly. I had a lot of music waiting…

But it’s a daily limit and I’m back at a lovely little suburban library this morning. While the stated purpose of this child-free jaunt was job searching, I couldn’t resist a little update. Don’t tell Dr. O’C.

I’m slowly finding my feet. Every little accomplishment - finding the bus to town, sorting out my mobile phone, getting a library card - makes me feel a little bit more grounded. This adventure today, on my own is another minor victory. This isn’t my first intercontinental move but it’s much harder than the one to Oxford. For that one, I arrived and went to work pretty much immediately. Dr. O’C was left with the trivia of getting all the things we needed. For this one, I’m intimately involved and I’ve got to tell you I’d rather be headed to work on a daily basis.

Lack of work is part of the uncertainty and discomfort. I haven’t been jobless for any significant period of time for the past fifteen years or so and I haven’t a clue what to do with myself. I also seem to have this reflex reaction of emitting a grumbling sigh every time we spend more than about $5 on anything.

So, I guess I should get on with it. Here’s a picture from our successful trip into the city center the other day. Look for more pictures coming down the pipe as I conquer jet lag and the hills of the southern suburbs.

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“Weather man and the crazy chief
One says sun and one says sleet
AM, the FM, the P.M. too
Churning out that boogaloo
Gets you up and gets you out
But how long can you keep it up?”

-The Clash - “The Magnificent Seven”

The fact that we arrived in Sweden yesterday unbruised and still speaking to one another is testament to the strength of our relationship. Our last couple of days in Britain nearly pushed both Dr. O’C and myself over the edge. Packing, cleaning, yelling, selling, screaming, feeding, bickering and all the rest. Monday was the peak of the chaos and strife. We had to finish packing everything that would be coming with us on our extended trip to Adelaide. We had to turn the dog over to the livestock people responsible for getting him Down Under. We had to finish cleaning the house so our landlady would be satisfied enough to return nearly £1000 deposit money. We had to keep Baby Z alive and reasonably happy. We had to do all of that without killing each other. We nearly didn’t make it. Somehow, though we got it done and made it over to our friend’s who had offered to put us up for the night, where we promptly realized that we had far too much luggage. Scandanavian Airlines, our carrier for the first leg of our journey allows 50kg. I think we had about twice that. The chaos continued.

Then, early yesterday morning we were off to Heathrow - still with far too much luggage - for our trip to Sweden and a ten day layover with Dr. O’C’s sister and her family. Thing is we didn’t leave quite early enough. If you will, picture your underwhelming narrator sprinting through Heathrow Airport with a stack of luggage that would make a Hilton blush, Dr. O’C and Zach in tow. The Scandanavian Airlines clerk must have seen something in my eyes that indicated just how close I was to snapping because she didn’t raise the issue of luggage allowance. I plowed through security using Z’s buggy like an icebreaker. We made the flight, but my heart rate and mood has just started to return to normal.

But we’re here and even in a house with two young boys and frequently their friends, cousins and all the noise and mess that accompanies them - things are much more relaxed. Even in a house in which a virtual war can break out in an instant over whether or not one brother has the same Nintendo DS character as the other, there’s a sense of peace and quiet. This is just the first leg of what is going to be a long and stressful few weeks. There are going to be other disasters narrowly averted and challenges nearly failed. I’m going to have to learn to cope with them just a little bit better. Either that or maybe one of you, my readers, would volunteer to raise Z. I mean, chances are the authorities will probably take Baby Z away from Dr. O’C while she’s serving her sentence for murder.

 

 The Clash - "The Magnificent Seven": Play Now | Play in Popup | Download

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Most of my interviewing lately has been of bands and posted over at A Free Man. But I haven’t abandoned the format on this site and I’ve got a cracker for you today!

I am a huge fan of podcasts. I listen to all my favorite American radio programs as podcasts, which helps to assuage the occasional homesickness of an expatriate. I’ve found tons of other podcasts as well, radio programs all over the world to guys in their basements with a computer and a microphone.

I though it would be fun to interview one of those podcasters that falls into that latter class and has something interesting to say. One of my favorites is Mike Duncan’s “The History of Rome”. I’m a little bit of a history buff, particularly the American Civil War - fascinating time. But history is not a particular passion of mine, especially the dry, humorless academic history that you often run across. So, the first time I listened to Duncan’s podcast I was flabbergasted. This fellow took what could be a really dull topic and made it not only interesting but strangely addictive. It’s hard for me to put my finger on what it is that Duncan does, but he speaks plainly and brings in the occasional pop culture reference to keep the casual listener coming back. For example, in one episode about the Roman war with Pyrrhus he describes the way in which the Romans defeated the Greek war elephants by comparing it with the the technique that the rebel snow speeders used against the Imperial AT-ATs in “The Empire Strikes Back”. Brilliant.

Mike Duncan, purveyor of “The History of Rome”, was nice enough to sit down on the virtual couch to answer some questions. We had a great interview topics ranging from which American president would have been the best Roman emperor to “Shoeless” Joe Jackson and the Baseball Hall of Fame…

AFM: I can see by your profile that you studied politics and philosophy in university. What inspired you to make the transition to history for your podcast?

MD: The History of Rome was conceived in one of those “This is so cool, I want to do something like this” moments after I discovered 12 Byzantine Rulers by Lars Brownworth. I usually don’t act on those impulses (I am not, for example, a world class banjo player nor a master of Brazilian juijitsu), but for some reason the idea of producing a podcast stuck and I couldn’t shake it. I was in the middle of The War with Hannibal by Livy at the time and became enamoured with the idea of doing a weekly show dedicated to tracing Roman History from start to finish. I don’t think I had any idea what I was getting myself into.

AFM: I’m still playing catch-up on your podcast, but I know you’re up to the Second Punic War which is in the 200s B.C.? How much longer will it take you to get to the fall of the empire? Will you take us that far?

MD: I’m committed to seeing it through to the end. We should be able to get to the abdication of Romulus Augustulus by Christmas 08 (but I only say that to keep morale up - I know it’s going to run longer than that).

AFM: I think the reasons that your podcast work so well is that you keep them short (about a quarter of an hour) use laymen’s terms and tease at the end for the next episode. How did you come up with this formula? Why do you think that your podcast has succeeded where many a Western Civ professor has failed?

MD: I don’t want to lump all history professors together, but on the whole they seem to be a dry and humourless lot. Continue Reading »

 

 Sparklehorse - "West of Rome": Play Now | Play in Popup | Download

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I was thrilled when I drew Jennifer from No Place Like It for my second go at the Great Interview Experiment. Like your underwhelming correspondent, Jennifer is an expat (a Canadian in Paris) dragged overseas in a net of romantic entanglement with a furriner. Like myself, she seems happy to stay in her adopted home. Unlike myself, she’s a talented graphic artist - all of the images in this post are hers and she does commissioned portraits as well.

It was great to get to know a little more about Jennifer who gave wonderfully thorough answers to my questions. The only thing I’m left unclear about is exactly what a “shooter girl” does…
AFM: We’re both willing and long term expats. What drove you to make the trans-Atlantic migration?

JC: Actually, like most things in my life, it was a question of just going with it… Continue Reading »

 

 Count Basie - "April In Paris" [3:49m]: Play Now | Play in Popup | Download

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I enjoyed my interview with Courtney a couple of weeks ago so much that I asked Neil at Citizen of the Month for another go at his Great Interview Experiment. Thus, late last week, I spent a fair bit of time in the role of either interviewer or interviewee. With all the questions buzzing about the internets I realized that a well conducted interview is a great opportunity to get to know a lot more about both parties.

Invigorated by inquisitions, I’ve decided to declare this week as Great Interview Week here at chrisdellavedova.com. I plan to feature a (hopefully) great interview a day for the week. In addition to the Interview Experiment posts, I’ve got a couple of crackers in the pipe, so check back each day this week to see who’s on the virtual couch.

The subject of the first day of Great Interview Week is, with narcissism appropriate for the blogging medium, me! Turnbaby over at And as the world Turns came up with a set of thought provoking inquiries that, surprisingly, got to the serious side of your underwhelming narrator (here’s her version of the interview). Without further ado…

Turnbaby: I see that you met your beautiful wife in college–I want to know how you met and what drew you to her and her to you.

AFM: Aha, an opportunity! A lot of people assume, as you did, that Dr. O’C and I are married. In fact, we are living in sin and have been for a number of years. We are co-habitors, co-conspirators and - in the eyes of the Australian and British governments - common law spouses. Since we’re interested in neither the Church nor the State’s blessing, that’s likely to remain the case until my Mom pesters me to death about it.

We met in Rocheport, Missouri when I was doing my Ph.D. and she a post-doc. I’ve written a couple of posts about how we met. Is it wimping out just to link to them? What drew me to her initially should be fairly obvious, have you seen her picture - absolutely gorgeous. I can only imagine that it was temporary insanity that drew her to me as I was sporting a nappy beard at the time.

TB: The first thing I noticed about your blog was your excellent taste in music. I love the songlist you initially picked to play for your boy, Z, while he was in utero. Are there some songs that you really love that you won’t play for him yet? Why?

AFM: Not really, I sort of play him what comes to mind. I’m not bothered about strong language as his mother curses like a sailor. I tend to avoid some of the really thrashy punk or heavy metal in my library as I think it’s a bit dissonant for him yet. But beyond that, pretty much Z hears what I hear. Oh, and he’s not allowed to listen to crap - no Justin, no Brittney, no Jessica. I am a music nazi.

TB: You are an Obama supporter and a self avowed “political junkie”. I know he “gives good speech”.But I need more than that. So without using the ‘hope’ or ‘change’ rhetoric–tell me why?

AFM: Because Barack Obama gave me a puppy. This is a great question because this election is more about personalities than I can remember in recent history. I thought about using your thesaurus trick for this question (yep, I read your interview - well played, Madam), but it’s a big deal so enough fannying about. It’s a fair question as they are politically pretty similar. My biggest reason for supporting Obama is because the last eight years have been evidence of how poorly a dynastic presidency works. If Clinton won and then won a second term, the same two families would have run the country for 28 years. This is very dangerous for American democracy. Second, the Boomers have had their time in power and to be honest have done a pretty piss poor job of it (I include Bill I and George II). It’s time for the next generation to take a whack at it. Third, America is in a rut and we need a kick in our collective asses. Obama, with his inspirational rhetoric, gets people thinking about the state of the State and what we can do about it. Clinton or McCain seem cynical and jaded. Oh, and Barack Obama told me to tell you hello.

TB: I love the new template and look of the blog. I’m curious about why you wanted a change and what made you pick this look.

AFM: Well, why I changed the look was because I kind of got my ass kicked in a review by Ask and You Shall Receive. It was a great experience and gave me a lot to think about. I do like the sort of clarity and simplicity that they suggested. If you want some honest feedback on your site, request a review from these guys. But beware that they don’t pull punches. Beyond that, I change it up every few months or so because I am short attention span boy.

TB: How did you end up in Oxford and what did you find most appealing about the idea of living abroad? Did that turn out how you thought it would?

AFM: I wanted to live abroad because I was sick to death of Wal-Marts and strip malls and Fox News. Oh, and a certain red-headed Irish/Aussie woman may have had just a little something to do with it.

I applied for jobs all over Europe but Oxford offered the best opportunities for both of us. It has turned out beyond my wildest dreams. I took to the European lifestyle like a duck to water. There’s just such a hugely better quality of life over here. I don’t know if I can do it justice, but it’s like you realize that there is a whole different way of life that you didn’t know existed when you were in the States. I use this analogy: where my parents live in Florida there are two shopping centers across the street from each other - literally 50 yards away from one another - and everyone drives their cars from one to the other. It just doesn’t occur to anyone to walk across the street rather than unparking your car, sitting at the red light until it turns and then reparking your car nearly as far away from the store you want to go to as you were when you started. Takes about 10 minutes. It’s the realization that it takes you 2 minutes to walk it rather than drive. That’s the change that you go through if you have a good expat experience.

TB: I see that your move to Australia is imminent. Do you think upon seeking employment there that you’ll stick with your current field of endeavor or take a leap into the new all the way?

AFM: It’s all about the new. I’m a disaffected academic and am looking forward to joining the “real world”. I’ve got no idea what the “new” is going to be and that’s what makes it exciting. What I’ve learned so far is that no matter what happens it will be as good an experience as I let it be. I am looking forward to a couple of months off in Oz to spend some time with the boy and a lot of time on the beach!

TB: Why did you start your blog and what about it inspires you to keep it up?

AFM: I started it after Dr. O’C got pregnant. One of the reasons that I’m doing this blog is as a sort of virtual “baby book”. We can keep track of his progress, but I also spend a fair bit of time talking about my own. I now find it really therapeutic - I love writing and this gives me a reason to do it. When I get feedback from my few readers it lets me know that someone appreciates it, which is just the best. Yep, I’m a slave to strokes.

TB: You are a big Georgia Bulldogs fan. What plans have you made for keeping up with games now that you’ll have a whole ‘nother time zone thing to worry about?

AFM: Time zones are not an issue for REAL fans. The math may be a challenge but no matter where I am in the world, my Saturdays (actually I think they will be Sundays in Oz) are booked from the beginning of September til the last week in November. I see that you’re a UK fan - I can’t really think of anything to say about that as y’all don’t usually provide much of a challenge on the old gridiron.

TB: Y’all obviously plan on raising Z outside of the United States, What would you like for him to know about growing up in his father’s country of birth?

AFM: For some reason I struggled with this question more than any of the others that you’ve asked. I think it is because I don’t know myself how I feel about this. I can honestly say that I can’t foresee coming back to the U.S. to live. But it is important to me that Z identifies himself as an American - and he is a natural born American citizen. I would love for Z to be able to experience some of the things that I did growing up and would love for him to be able to avoid a lot of the things that I did. Most of the things that I loved and hated from childhood are gone, though, so they wouldn’t be there for Z anyway even if we were in the States. He’s got to have his own journey.

Gosh, this is all very serious and introspective, not like me at all!

TB: What do you miss about US?

AFM: 1. Proper corn bread.
2. Wide roads.
3. Southern accents - not that dumb ass Texan via Yale accent of Bush’s - a proper Georgia, Carolina, Virginia accent.
4. Big old steaks.
5. Waffle House hashbrowns - scattered, smothered, covered and chunked.
6. My family.
7. Wing nut right-wing talk radio.
8. Popcorn with gallons of butter.
9. People that call you “sugar”.
10. Peet’s coffee (good coffee in general, the Brits just don’t get coffee)

That was off the top of my head and I’m surprised how much of it is food. Must be dinner time.

Image Credits:

Waffle House

Cornbread

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According to one of my favorite fairly reliable sources, Obama won 65% of the Democrats Abroad Global Primary (69% in the UK). It’s a binding primary, folks, so chock up Obama’s 11th straight win.

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Living abroad as an expatriate can be a slightly disorienting experience and one of the ways of keeping one’s equilibrium is to surround oneself with the vestiges of home. Some expats take this to the extreme - making little replicas of their homeland wherever they go (this is why there are so many English pubs in Spain and why you’ll find an American in any McDonalds in the world). I’ve always taken a more moderate tack - I keep track of a few of my American TV programs, stock up on one or two special foods (Jiffy corn muffin mix, Stove Top stuffing and beef flavored Rice-a-Roni) Continue Reading »

 

 The Dandy Warhols - "Sleep" [5:57m]: Play Now | Play in Popup | Download

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Something about the Thames bursting its banks for the second time in six months put me in the mood for one of the Big Easy’s most famous exports today. Like all of my favorite southern foods, this one required a little bit of fiddling to compensate for ingredients that aren’t easy to find here in Blighty. This recipe, modified from “The Joy of Cooking”, isn’t the best I’ve ever made - not saucy enough. But it was easy and in my experience there is no such thing as bad red beans and rice.

Expat Red Beans & Rice Continue Reading »

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“And so we’re told this is the golden age
And gold is the reason for the wars we wage
Though I want to be with you
Be with you night and day
Nothing changes
On New Year’s Day…”

-U2 - “New Year’s Day”

Everyone who grew up in the deep South knows that Hoppin’ John and collards bring good luck for the New Year. The obvious corollary to this is that if one does not have Hoppin John’ and Continue Reading »

 

 U2 - "New Year's Day" [4:19m]: Play Now | Play in Popup | Download

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