A Free Man

I’ve literally got students coming out the wazoo today, so I’ll keep things short and simple…

After ranting about premature Christmas decorations and my general disdain for the holiday, I’ve been tasked with coming up with a personalized message for my company’s Christmas cards. This is, by far, the most difficult three or four sentences I’ve ever had to churn out. Any suggestions?

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I’m pleased to be the host for Mendel’s Garden #26. Mendel’s Garden, the genetics blog carnival, is looking for the best genetics posts in the blogosphere. I’m hosting the December edition and am actively looking for submissions. Everything from transcription to evolution to genetic counseling and social implications of genetics research are welcome. I’m particularly interested in non-specialists, so if you’ve got something that you could tag with “genetics” send it my way. If you’d be interested in having a post featured, please e-mail me your latest and greatest to chris (at) afreeman (dot) org.

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Finally, when things have gotten harried this week, I’ve turned to this video for a dose of serenity. The internets are awash with cute kid videos, but I have the cutest kid (and possibly the most patient dog) around.

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I’d never heard of The Bouncing Souls until this track came my way, but I can’t stop listening to it. They’ve been around for ages and I’m thinking of checking out more of the New Jersey quartet’s music. Buy the self-titled record that featured “Serenity” and other records here.

 

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 The Bouncing Souls - "Serenity" [2:28m]: Play Now | Play in Popup | Download

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With exams due, lectures to prepare and reports to write, A Free Man has not enough feet in too many camps this week.  My head’s all over the place and I’ve started posts about topics as diverse as sedition, mobile phones, Lyndon LaRouche and my bus ride to work. Instead, I’ve decided to harness all this disparate thought to make a seamless link between Jarvis Cocker and Wee Z.

Jarvis Cocker is one of my rock gods. I selected my last pair of glasses almost entirely because I wanted specs like Jarvis. Really. Like the Barenaked Ladies, Pulp brings me right back to the early days of my relationship with (stalking of) Dr. O’C. She turned me on to the Brit Pop pioneers, among other great bands I hadn’t heard. “Common People” has got to be one of their best and one of the best of the genre.

Almost as cool as Jarvis is Captain Kirk himself, William Shatner. If Star Trek isn’t enough for you, how about his bizarre foray into pop music with another four-eyed rock god, Ben Folds. Agnes, here’s another cover for you - Big Giant Head does Pulp.

Ben Folds is apparently collaborating on a new album with author Nick Hornby who wrote “About A Boy”. The film adaptation of his book starred Hugh Grant in the role of man-child Will.

Hugh Grant also starred as the rakish Daniel Cleaver in “Bridget Jones’ Diary”, a secret guilty pleasure. (”Bizarre what some men find attractive.”). His co-star in that film was Colin Firth.

Colin Firth played Harry Bright, a British banker, in “Mamma Mia”. And speaking of bankers…

 

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 Jarvis Cocker - "Running The World" [4:39m]: Play Now | Play in Popup | Download

 

 Pulp - "Common People" [5:52m]: Play Now | Play in Popup | Download

 

 William Shatner - "Common People" [2:21m]: Play Now | Play in Popup | Download

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Phrase number 28 that I never thought I would have to say as a parent.

 

 Don't Stab The Dog!: Play Now | Play in Popup | Download

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After the third attack by terrorist water fowl in a week, I decided to do something about these Anatid insurgents. I made the decision to retaliate. On Friday evening I sat down with my eager forces and designed a strategy. As Saturday morning dawned cool and cloudy and I prepared my forces for a counter attack.

Now before you call out the animal protection thugs on me, I made a decision before this post-dawn raid that no geese would be physically hurt. I was after nothing more than a proportional response. I said to myself, “Self, these bastard geese have been terrorizing me, I’ll return the favor.”

So, my hearty forces - myself, Timmins, Z and a reluctant and bemused Dr. O’C -  headed toward the very nexus of geese-dom, deep into enemy territory - the drainage repository known as Fountain Valley Pond. We marched through the streets of Happy Valley banners flying proudly, heads held high in defiance we crested a small hill giving us a view of the pond below.

It quickly became apparent that the enemy had anticipated our action. Our resolve nearly wavered when we realized that the geese that had been harassing your underwhelming narrator were merely an advance force. Because before us lay a veritable geese army. Dozens of geese, scores even, standing defiantly on the muddy pond bank. A few of them even brazenly gave us the avian version of the single fingered salute as our underwhelming force paused.

But we were not cowed by their numbers for we had “Justice” and “Freedom” on our side. Regrettably, Justice and Freedom weren’t with us in a physical form and we felt it best to leave Dr. O’C and Z as a reserve force in case we needed an ambulance or emergency veterenarian. Thus it was just Timmins and I that stood ready to take on the goose hoardes. As we prepared for the greatest direct charge into an overwhelming force since Pickett at Gettysburg or Cardigan at Balaklava.

I’ll let the video tell the bulk of the story, but just to clarify one point: Timmins may have not fully understood the brief or in the heat of the battle may have gotten a bit overzealous, but there’s a point in our charge in which he nearly grabs an enemy combatant who got bogge down in a trench while fleeing under our withering charge. In my role as supreme generallissimo of free forces, I felt it better for all concerned to rein him in a bit, resulting in the canine acrobatics that you see in the video.

It was a quick strike and successful in that no one - goose, dog or human - was injured. But more importantly, I think that the geese bastards now clearly undertsand who runs Happy Valley. We’ve made the streets safe again. This is borne out by two days of harassment free commuting. The geese terrorists, clearly cowed, float sullenly on the far side of the pond as I walk proudly past. Mission accomplished.

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Joanna Smith’s sublime version of “The Battle Hymn of the Republic”** was featured on a compilation called “Song of America” available from eMusic. Check out more of Smith’s music at her MySpace page.

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* I had to memorize the Tennyson poem in 6th grade and I could still do the first three stanzas from memory.

** I know that I’m mixing historical and musical metaphors here with The Crimean War and U.S. Civil War, but try and find an appropriate song about the Crimean War.

 

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 Joanna Smith - "Battle Hymn of the Republic" [5:15m]: Play Now | Play in Popup | Download

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There are still no sign of teeth, but just shy of a year old the boy’s taking to his feet. The days of lackadaisical parenting are near an end.

 

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 Miles Davis - "Walkin'" [13:03m]: Play Now | Play in Popup | Download

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“Lighted in a room, lanky room
Lighted, lighted, laughing in tune
Lighted, lighted, laughing…”

What better way to start of a Friday than this. Nothing warms my heart more than hearing and seeing Z laugh. Here’s hoping it’s always this easy…

R.E.M.’s essential “Murmur” is available from .

 

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 R.E.M. - "Laughing": Play Now | Play in Popup | Download

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This post has nothing to do with Bill O’Reilly or GolfWeek magazine. No, today we’re talking about the wonderful world of advertising. I tend to think of myself a discerning consumer, not easily swayed by Madison Avenue’s efforts. In fact, like most people, I tend to change the channel, leave the room or tune out completely when faced with TV advertising. But the first time that I saw this ad for Gucci’s new fragrance, I was enthralled. The first thing that snapped my attention away from whatever I was doing rather than watching commercials was their use of Blondie’s “Heart of Glass”. Advertisers are getting smarter with their music choices these days - using slick pop songs to catch the potential consumer’s attention - and this is a perfect example. Once Gucci got my attention, they kept it with a beautifully visual ad. It features rich golds and earth tones and models dancing in seductively in slow motion, one of whom looks remarkably like Chan Marshall. Yep, you’ve got the Cat Power fans. The money shot is a dreamy sequence featuring the models ecstatically sensing a subtly visible stimulant (presumably the fragrance) with a fade to the brand name. Gucci by Gucci….

When I started looking about for more information about the ad I found that it had been directed by David Lynch. With films like “Dune”, “Blue Velvet”, “Wild at Heart” and the unfortunately short-lived TV series “Twin Peaks” Lynch. His films featured driving and ultraviolent story-lines, sharp dialogue and were both visually and sonically stunning. Lynch was the king of alternative film in the 80’s and into the early 90’s. But then came “Lost Highway” and “Mullholland Drive” - two films that were still visually stunning, but were just cryptically dull. Lynch seemed to be losing his narrative touch and officially became a director non grata for me when he did “The Straight Story” for Disney, which features nearly two hours of an old man riding a lawn tractor. I shit you not. I have kind of lost track of his career since then and don’t know if it has gotten so bad for Lynch that the only work he can find is in commercials. I suspect, however, that it is some kind of badge of honor to do a high fashion ad - like Baz Luhrmann and Nicole Kidman’s Chanel ad last year.

The good news for Gucci is that this ad worked. When I was thinking about gifts for Dr. O’C’s first Mother’s Day this damned ad was lodged firmly in my head. Just like the little media-powered robot that advertising agents would like me to be I toddled down to Boots large drugstore chain and bought the new Gucci fragrance. Even as I was paying for the perfume I found myself flummoxed by my submission to the corporate will.

Things end well if you believe that we’re often unwilling victims to corporate manipulation. The bad news for Gucci is that Dr. O’C was apparently not as enchanted as I by their ad. I need to put this gently, because she has so many truly lovable qualities (and reads this blog regularly). Let’s say that she can, on occasion, be a difficult person for whom to buy gifts (and one who’s going to be peeved to have this part of her personality revealed on the interwebs). Sorry, fashion giant, but you get an A for effort.

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“The Best of Blondie” is available from and Amazon. Gucci’s damn fragrance is available at fine retailers everywhere.

Here’s the ad via YouTube:

 

 Blondie - "Heart of Glass": Play Now | Play in Popup | Download

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“Sara spelled without an ‘h’ was getting bored
On a Peavey amp in 1984
While Zak without a ‘c’ tried out some new guitars
Playing Sara-with-no-h’s favourite song…”

-Ben Folds - “Zak & Sara”

Ben Folds is one of the most entertaining live performers I’ve ever had the good fortune of seeing. He owns both his piano and the crowd, channeling Jerry Lee Lewis and Elton John in the same set. He can get a hipster/poseur crowd singing in rounds under his direction, not an easy task considering applause is sometimes too much of an effort. I’ve seen him a few times - at the University of Missouri with the defunct Ben Folds’ Five and solo in London and in Kansas City.

That latter show was the most memorable - it was some time in June of 2002 (I think). We got cheap promotional tickets from a radio station and headed to KC with our friends Alex and Nichole to see Folds’ at an outdoor show at the Kansas City River Market, which sounded nice and rustic. I’m sure that there is more to it than what I experienced but as far as I could tell on the day it was essentially a very large parking lot - with a stage. Now I don’t mind standing at a show, but for those of you unfamiliar with Missouri summers, June is a hellishly hot and humid time in the Midwest (like mid 90’s F and 60% plus humidity). Even at dusk, as the show was starting, that baked pavement held in enough heat to cook a stir fry. Because it was in a parking lot there was no incline from the stage, so your view of the stage was entirely dependent on your genetic good fortune. Now, Alex is a tall fellow, Dr O’C and I hold our own on the height curb, but Nichole - well, I think vertically challenged is the politically correct term.

But Nichole is not short on resourcefulness. A few songs into the show, she and Dr O’C disappeared, leaving Alex and I to gently simmer on our tiptoes in the parking lot. Turns out they had wangled their way into the V.I.P area - shaded, with nice seats, a great view of the stage and free drinks. All Alex and I knew on the day, was that they had vanished leaving us to sweat and pay extortionate prices for liquid refreshments. Here’s Nichole’s (likely censored) account of what happened. But I’ve spent a lot of time in the nooks and crannies of rock shows, I know what goes on in the “V.I.P. areas” - hedonism! Dancing children indeed.

Alex and I, sweaty, stiff and sore found Nichole and Dr O’C after the show - all smiles and restful euphoria. Years later, I’m still a little bitter (and suspicious) about this, but on the day I had to give Nichole and Dr O’C points for initiative. And I must admit, I was kind of chuffed that my partner was, and still is, hot enough to get into the V.I.P. area. Oh, and by the way, it was a great show parking lot and all.

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“Good morning, son. I am a bird…”

This is a Z’s Music Monday post, but Z was in a pretty poor mood this Sunday morning. It was the first time that I found it difficult to pretend that our father-son musical time was solely for Z’s benefit. I picked Ben Folds’ first solo album, “Rockin’ the Suburbs” largely because it’s full of good sing-a-long songs - including one that kept me from vetoing Z’s name as an option. Folds, along with being an excellent multi-instrumentalist, is one of the best narrative songwriters around. Each of his tracks tend to be self-contained stories, so that a Ben Folds (or Ben Folds Five) album is a musical short story collection. There is something more coherent musically about his solo work, the elimination of the band dynamic seems to allow him more control over the finished product and for this album it works wonderfully. “Rockin’ the Suburbs” is full of evocative musical tales of lovers - from the stood up “Annie Waits” to the star-crossed in “Zak & Sara” - and losers - the burnt-out hippy in “The Ascent of Stan” and the middle-class white guy in the title track. But it was the strange little third track on this record that got under my skin on Sunday morning. Z was a bit grumpy to have a favorite track, so this one is Z’s Dad’s choice.

“Let me tell you what
The years go on and
We’re still fighting it, we’re still fighting it
And you’re so much like me I’m sorry…”

Since becoming a father I’ve become a sucker for a whole new class of music - the bittersweet parent-child song. Song’s like Harry Chapin’s “Cat’s in the Cradle” or Crosby, Stills, Nash & Young’s “Teach Your Children”, which I would formerly have ignored or derided can move me to tears. And on this early Sunday morning, an emotionally fragile time anyway, I had a little Hillary Clinton moment of my own listening to a song that Folds’ wrote for his son…
“And I can tell you ’bout today
And how I picked you up and everything changed
It was pain Sunny days and rain
I knew you’d feel the same things…”

Who knew that fatherhood would make me into such a sentimentalist? The video, featuring Folds’ son Louis, is even more tearjerking.

Ben Folds’ “Rockin’ the Suburbs” is available from your local independent record shop, and Amazon.

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