This is my new favourite photo of Boy Z. I think it just personifies him. In motion. Hair flying (Enjoy that hair, little one. Male pattern baldness is hereditary). A cheeky crooked smile. A little bit feral. It’s just essence of Boy Z.

It has been kind of a lost weekend. Not like those that were frequent in my 20’s – days of memories lost to booze, drugs and the trappings that went along with them. No, lost in the sense of time that is irretrievable. Lost to a combination of driving rain, a dodgy tooth, a croupy kid and the subtle malaise that accompanies the beginning of winter.

I don’t mean to imply that it was a bad weekend. Weekends are never bad. Time with Dr. O’C and Boy Z and Not Max is never bad. Trying? Sometimes. Challenging? Often. Stressful? Usually. But also filled with laughter and the serenity of a good life. This weekend, however, a rapidly festering abcess sent me into a haze of self-pity and analgesia. A haze that made much beyond a basic level of function impossible for your underwhelming narrator and a fair bit of Friday evening was spent supine on the couch emitting soft moans.

Then the rain came and put the kibosh on our planned football outing. And then Boy Z started barking like a seal, which meant a Saturday planted in front of various kids movies on autorepeat. Boy Z wheezing and croaking and me whinging and moaning.

And then the lights went out.

A power outage, a minor occurrence to adults, is a source of much excitement and consternation to little boys, one of whom has a mild fear of the dark. “Where are the lights?” “Turn the lights on, Bubba!” “When the tricity coming back, Bubba?”

But we settled into that rustic groove that a blackout inevitably brings – reading books by candlelight, bumping into various bits of furniture and relying heavily on my battery powered iPod dock for dancing in the dark. But strangely, not to Springsteen.

And to put the final brushstrokes on the whole Laura Ingalls Wilder scene, the after-hours doctor turned up for a house call. He checked Boy Z by candlelight and declared him croupy. Of course he spoke with a strong Persian accent rather than a Minnesotan and trotted off in a Holden rather than on horseback and then the lights blazed back to life and with it 21st century Australia.

But there are a hell of a lot of worse places to be than 21st century Australia. And a lost weekend in 21st century Australia with these particular 21st century Australians isn’t ever really lost.

This post is all over the place and I don’t have much to say, really. I just wanted to point you to my monthly post at The Greenists. And show off some pictures from a weekend past. One that wasn’t lost.

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Calexico and Iron and Wine’s 2005 joint EP “In The Reins” was one of the finest collaborations of the decade. The only weakness is that it’s only an EP. Buy it from .

The holidays were…fantastic.

I don’t know that I’ve ever thought, spoken or written that particular combination of those four words before. But this year was something special with family visiting and a proper American Thanksgiving and a gaggle of young kids at Christmas.

It wasn’t perfect. With family come the inevitable spats and the predictable dramas. And there are still bad days and sometimes it’s too hot and you’re too tired. And there was the thing at Carrickalinga.

But you take the bad with the good and you get on with wringing joy out of life wherever you can and when the hell did I become such a Pollyanna?

At any rate, I just wanted to pop up and wish you all a Happy New Year and post a couple of holiday themed slideshows for those of you that know me well enough to want to see endless family photos.

First, my family’s visit to Oz at Thanksgiving….

Created with Admarket’s flickrSLiDR.

and second, Christmas with Dr. O’C’s family…

Created with Admarket’s flickrSLiDR.

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Nancy Wilson’s cover of the Frank Loesser holiday standard is available on “A Nancy Wilson Christmas” .

As a general rule, I try to avoid getting sucked into comment stream dramas – mostly because I have better things to do with life. In most cases, I don’t even go back to a post after I’ve left a comment, just in case I’ve inadvertantly started something.

I should stick with that rule.

Dr. O’C is fully responsible for this one. Be forewarned – I’ve got no music no, cute pictures for this one – just a pretty heated rant. If you’re looking for shiny and happy on this Friday it may be best to move on…

A couple of days ago, I read a post on a friend’s blog. I don’t want to name the blog, I don’t want to suck her into this rant. She was writing about the tough time she was having finding a day care for her little girl. I’ve been there and was trying to make a friend feel better about a tough parental transition, so I said:

I don’t agree with Free Man. There are sacrifices you have to make for your children to be with you but living on one income is certainly possible! (Husband) is in the Army and doesn’t make that much and we live VERY comfortably! I am at home with our three children everyday. I feel bad for people who REALLY can’t do the SAHM thing but there are a lot of families out there that could if they cut back on expenses and prioritized their lives.
I am sure (Blogger) would have preferred to wait until she was out of (City) to have (her baby) but because of her health situation decided to have her while she was still able. Unfortunately (her baby) will be missing her Mommy during the first 2 years of her life but maybe you can come home to be with her full time when you get out of that expensive place! At least its just 3 days a week.
I worked at a day care for a month and HATED it. Watching the kids scream and cry and constantly ask where their mommy and daddy were was just heartbreaking and watching the parents disappointment when the child WOULDN’T respond when they were leaving was sad too. Even when we distracted the child long enough for the parents to leave, they would cry their eyeballs out at some point during the day wondering why mommy and daddy left them there.

And I have to disagree with you on the socialization thing. Babies don’t need other babies or people, she needs YOU (Blogger)! I wish you were able to put that career thing aside for her.

oh and free man, My kids have everything they need, over abundance of clothing, toys, friends, food, parents, pets, and even college paid for so I am not sure what else a child could NEED. And even if they didn’t have the college thing, I think paying your own way through college certainly builds better character and you have more to be proud of and appreciate if you get yourself through it.

Right. I’ve been watching the whole series of The Sopranos over again, so when Dr. O’C read this to me, my immediate response was a suggestion that this person engage in a type of auto-erotic behavior that’s technically impossible.

And I really wanted to leave it alone.

But, you know what, I’m not going to.

First of all, if you’re a stay at home parent, I’ve got the utmost respect for you. That’s fantastic and I hope you’re finding it rewarding both for yourself and your children. Honestly – goodonya. I want it to be clear – I do not have a problem with stay-at-home parents in general. Just this one.

Some people don’t want to put their lives on hold for five or more years (assuming you start work after the kids go to school). Some people don’t want to put the ‘career thing’ aside for their kids. This particular blogger, like myself and Dr. O’C, spent close to a decade in tertiary education and we didn’t do this much education to drop out of the workplace as soon as we bred. We believe that you can balance parenting and a career.

Does that make us bad parents?

Speaking for myself and Dr. O’C, we’ve worked hard to integrate our roles as parents and providers. Dr. O’C stayed home with Boy Z for nearly his whole first year – longer than anticipated. She breastfed for nine months. We worked very hard to find a good daycare for him. We arrange our schedules so that Zach spends as little time as possible each day in day care, at the expense of time spent together. I work odd hours and weekends and from home to make sure he’s at home with me for at least one weekday on top of the weekends. I value virtually every moment I’ve got with my son.

Does that make us bad parents?

It’s not about expensive toys – don’t be stupid. We’re not spending money like drunken Republicans. We’ve emigrated around the world and need the income to afford to buy a house in which to raise our children, but it’s not even about money. When I say that it isn’t the 1950’s I mean that the black and white, soft focus Cleaver clan isn’t the norm these days. Gender roles have changed. Women often want more out of life than staying at home baking cookies and popping valium. Both Dr. O’C and I are professional people. We’re well educated people. We want the best for our kids just the same as anyone else does. But I believe that children who are raised by a healthy and happy couple are more likely to be healthy and happy. Neither Dr. O’C nor I would be healthy and happy if we gave up careers that we busted our asses for to stay home with kids. Our kids will be raised in a household that values education, hard work and happiness and will know that the three are not mutually exclusive.

Does that make us bad parents?

Children are not the center of the universe. In fact, giving a child the impression that the world revolves around him or her is very possibly the best way to create a spoiled little monster. Kids need perspective on the world, they need to learn about how to socialize with their peers and people other than their parents. Day care affords them this opportunity. I’ve seen it in Boy Z. When he started day care he was petrified of anyone who wasn’t me or Dr. O’C. In the time he’s spent in day care, he’s developing into a much more outgoing child. Now, I’m sure that kids that stay at home do just fine, but I’m equally sure that kids who go to daycare do just fine.

Does that make me a bad parent?

But what annoyed me the most about this is the arrogance of this commentator. She worked in a day care center for a month and thus is an expert on children in day care? She feels bad for people who can’t do the stay at home parent thing? She’s sure that my friend’s kid will be missing her Mommy? What about her Daddy? Won’t she miss her Daddy? She hopes that my friend puts the career-thing aside? She knows how my friend’s child – how my child- is going to respond to day care? Does she get some kind of thrill by trolling around the internet making people feel like bad parents?

Despite my occasional wringing of hands and fears of inadequacies I know that I’m a good dad. I’m a damn good dad. Dr. O’C is a damn good mum. We work hard to make sure our son is happy, healthy and well-adjusted. And we’re doing a damn good job at it – day care or no day care.

From frozen Sverige, we got the news of an addition to the clan. The brood of Dr. O’C’s sister and brother-in-law grew by one as they welcomed their third kiddie, and first daughter, early this morning. Here’s the first picture of little Amber, for which I’m pretty sure Dr. O’C’s sister will be kicking my ass the next time she’s down under.

Boy Z had the chance to spend some time with his maternal grandfather over the weekend. One of the troubles with having family in five different countries is that we don’t get together as much as we would like. This was the first time Dr. O’C’s dad had a chance to meet Boy Z in person. The boy is usually painfully shy around people that he doesn’t know well (just ask Arizaphale). But a couple of minutes after meeting his Grandad, he was absolutely in love. Not even 18 months old and the boy’s already got Genetics sussed. Like father like son.

Finally, back Stateside, my Dad will – barring any last minute reconsideration by the NSA – be sworn in as a U.S. citizen on Friday. A mere 35 years after emigrating to the States from Canada, he’s ready to spurn the country of his birth. Behold, your soon to be fellow American. Congratulations, Dad, don’t waste your vote on the Republicans.

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Belle and Sebastian’s “Fold Your Hands, Child, You Walk Like A Peasant” is available from .

A lot of the expat bloggers who I read have written lately of the things that they miss from “home”, of the visceral homesickness that often strikes  fast and dark like a midwestern thunderstorm. I’ve found that the longer I’m away the less I’m affected by that storm – the fewer the things that I miss from the States. Most of the day-to-day bits of life can be replicated abroad. The world is a pretty small and increasingly homogeneous place these days. If I want a Big Mac, I go and get a Big Mac. If I want to watch a bad American TV program, chances are that it, or an Australian replicate, is on Channel 7. There are a few things that are so much a part of me that I think I will always miss, but they are mostly trivial – things like comfort foods and secret places (most of them no longer existent in the form in which I remember them).

And my family. This yearning is getting worse rather than better. Australia is incredibly far away from anything else, moreso than I really understood before I got here. The sense of isolation is tangible here, even the distances between Adelaide and other cities in Australia is daunting. Britain always felt cozy and tight. If worse came to worse I could hop on a flight from Gatwick and be back on the East Coast of the States in six hours or so. The trip back to North America from Adelaide is a journey. Both Dr. O’C and I occasionally question our decision to move here, when we think about how far away family members are.

But it’s the decision we made and the die is cast so to speak. We are in Australia for the long haul. I wouldn’t say I’m never coming back to the States, never say never. But after four years away in two different countries it’s becoming clear to me, at the risk of being labeled one of the G.O.P’s “fake Americans”, that for me the American dream is increasingly more accessible from outside of America. I find it difficult to imagine living in the U.S. now, raising my son there. Right now, Australia is the Land of Opportunity for my family.

Which leads me to that second significant date – six months in Australia. I can not complain about how things have gone for us in a short time in Oz. Let me rephrase, I should not complain about the state of things in Oz. I’m not thrilled with our living situation and in self-pitying times, complain voluminously about it. But with a sane attitude, things have gone incredibly well for us Down Under. Both Dr. O’C and I are employed and making more money than either of us ever have. Despite having two jobs, I’m about to cut down to four days a week and have an extra day free with my son every week. I have a beautiful son and a beautiful partner, both of whom bring a smile to my face when I see them after a day at work. Boy Z is happy and healthy and loves to be outdoors in the balmy Australian sunshine (I’m told it gets a bit less friendly come January and February). We’re on the verge of buying the first new car that either of us have ever owned. A home of our own is not too far out of reach. We’re  a short trip to either the beach or the country while living in a manageable urban area. We’ve made friends easily and reasonably quickly.  Australia is offering me a life that is beyond my wildest dreams.

The homesickness – no that’s the wrong word, my home is here. My home is where I and Dr. O’C and Boy Z are on the day. The inborn tie of blood, the almost painful longing to be in the same room of my family – that is something that I just have to deal with on a daily basis, that I have to accept as a consequence of the lifestyle that is available to me here, one that I firmly believe would not be in Britain or America. Skype and e-mail and phone calls are great, but they always leave you hungry for more, sometimes even makes the longing worse. I guess this just gives us more motivation to save money for those long trips abroad.

I try and focus on the day at hand and to appreciate all the wonder and beauty that surrounds me. It’s springtime in Australia and even though actuarial tables would put me more at midsummer, I feel like it’s the springtime of my life.

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Damien Jurado’s latest record, “Caught In The Trees”, is out on Secretly Canadian. Jurado’s an exceptional artist and one who doesn’t get the attention that he deserves. He makes stunningly crafted Americana with lyrics that just make your jaw draw open with their  Both Jurado and the oustanding Secretly Canadian label are blogger friendly, so if you like this track then buy the album here.

Looking for your unbiased and honest opinion if you saw any of the VP debate. Since I don’t have a dog in the fight and can’t vote anyway*, I can be objective. I am objective to the point that I dislike both McCain and Obama, so I’m happy I can’t vote – I’d have to go with none of the above on the ballot.

The media has been ripping Palin so much, I thought I would take the time to see her in action. I don’t quite understand why the media beats her up for inexperience but gives Obama a pass, but I guess that is their agenda.

So anyway, I watched the first part of the debate, and she won me over quickly. Down to earth, folksy and positive responses to the questions. Biden, on the other hand, like all lifetime “experienced” politicians, sidesteps the question and goes into ripping the competition. This is what I am used to – Democrat or Republican, doesn’t matter. Palin did not go too far down that road. I would like to think that she could set a trend for the future, but that is probably too much to hope for. And probably if she hangs around, she’ll end up like them.But it was a nice few minutes.
So anyway, I thought, well maybe it was just me. So at tennis today I dared to bring up politics – not usually a good mix,. Most of my comrades are Obama guys so I expected to hear pretty negative things. But amazingly, they to a man, were very much impressed by her and how she handled herself.

So, if you got a chance to see it, what did you think?

Well Dad, since you read my blog I suspect that you already know that my opinion of Sarah Palin is not a very good one. I did watch the debate, which was shown nearly live on Australian Broadcasting Corporation TV, the PBS equivalent. First of all, I think Joe Biden was fantastic in the last hour and that is unfortunately getting lost in the chattering about Palin. He was smart, quick witted and importantly acted as the terrier that I had hoped he would. He went after Palin a couple of times on absolute falsehoods spouted by her and the McCain campaign. In his finest moment, he challenged the whole Maverick® label that Palin and McCain have draped themselves in. After the sixth time she said “maverick” Biden, clearly peeved, went on a sharp riff, challenging the Republican candidates’ maverickness.

As for Palin, she definitely exceeded expectations and in her defense, presented herself much better than she had of late in interviews.  I’ll admit that I, like a lot of other people, watched in part to see the Palin Express completely come off the rails. But she formed complete sentences, had some coherent thoughts and above all, and as you pointed out, Dad, was thoroughly charming. She didn’t convince me that she knows what she’s talking about, particularly, because she flat-out refused to address the questions posed and stuck to her talking points.

But this is my problem with Sarah Palin: she’s all charm. As you say yourself, she’s down to earth and folksy. A lot of people perceive a connection with her.  She’s someone a lot of people would probably like to have a beer with. That’s great, but I don’t want to have a beer with my president, or vice-president. I don’t want my president to be someone I can relate to. I don’t want my president to be just like me. I want my president to be much smarter than me, I want my president to be much more competent than me, I want my president to be much better than me. I don’t think I could run the United States and I don’t think Sarah Palin could run the United States. We’ve had eight years of being led by a “regular guy”, a “folksy” speaker, a guy that people wanted to have a beer with. Dad, are we better off than we were eight years ago? I don’t think I could run the United States and I don’t think Sarah Palin could run the United States.

That’s my objective opinion. What do you guys think? Let’s hear your (civilized) opinions about Sarah Palin post-debate.

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* My Dad retains his Canadian citizenship despite living in the U.S. for over thirty years. Smart guy.

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The John Butler Trio’s “Sunrise Over Sea” is available from .

At some point my attitude to motherhood started to improve.  I don’t know when that happened, but it did.  I am a better mum than I thought I would be.  For the first few months, I would tell Z that I loved him, over and over but I don’t really think I meant it.  I said it more to convince myself of that fact.  I know that I was meant to feel this unconditional love for him.  Instead I didn’t really feel anything for him.  Sure he was a cute baby and it was nice when he smiled, but it could have been any baby.

Initially we had planned that I would take 4-5 months off work, but when February loomed I couldn’t go back.  I couldn’t put this helpless individual into day care 10 hours a day.  I didn’t know how it would work.  How would I get up, walk the dog, get Z and myself dressed and out the door.  Plenty of people do it.  I just didn’t know how it would work for me.  It comes back to my fear of new things or a new way of doing things.  A fear I never knew I had before Z was born.  I walk the dog the same route every morning.  I get up, walk dog, shower, get dressed, eat breakfast, brush teeth, dry hair and leave for work. In that order, every morning.  I don’t think I ever changed it.  It was the most efficient way of starting my day.  But looking back, was I inflexible and stuck in my ways?  With Z, although it took a long time to establish, I was used to doing things a certain way and couldn’t imagine fitting work into it.  I also couldn’t imagine that I would be comfortable leaving him with anyone else.

The irony of the situation is that before I got pregnant and even during my pregnancy I worried if I was capable of taking a whole 4 months off work.  I thought that would be pushing the limits of my sanity.  I am a social person, I love to talk, interact with people and find out about them. But mostly I knew that I would go insane if I stayed at home with a baby (and I kind of did).  If Chris could have taken paternity leave, I think that we would have both jumped at the chance.   And now here I was, not wanting to go back to work because I was both afraid of the logistics of doing what millions of people do every day, getting themselves and a baby ready and out the door in the morning and I was getting attached to this little person, whom I had had very little emotional connection with so far.

Chris and I had been discussing a move to Australia for a while.  Well to be honest, Chris was ready to go, but I loved my job and had negotiated a promotion for when I returned from maternity leave.   Problem was this promotion almost certainly required me to travel internationally every month.  Not something that was going to work with a small baby.  I know my company would have worked with me and changed the job, but to be honest I was probably looking for an excuse not to go back.  An excuse to not change my finely tuned routine and put Zach in the care of strangers.  Pathetic I know.  Instead of getting into a new routine of going back to work, I embark on a trans-continental move, involving two adults, a baby and a dog.  What the hell was I thinking?

I was thinking that it would be nice to be home after 8 years spent overseas.  It would be nice that Z has family around. A Nana whom he adores and who gives him sups of tea and biscuits, who he goes crawling half way across the house to when he hears her saying ‘Nana Nana Nana’. (She is determined that they be his first words).  It would be nice to have someone to tell me how to do things.  Simple things like when it is safe to give Z a piece of bread and not choke, when he is sick enough that he needs to see a doctor.  Someone to baby sit so Chris and I could have a night out, go see a movie, have a meal.  Someone who cares and loves him as much as we do.  It would be nice to be around friends who are having babies who Zach will grow up alongside.

Don’t get me wrong, the move was incredibly stressful.  I was moving home, but Chris was moving to a place he had never visited, a place where I grew up, knew people, had extended family.  I didn’t really know what the job market was like for either of us.  I didn’t know if Chris would like it.  I felt like if it didn’t work out for us that it would be my fault, that we would have wasted the better part of $15K moving our life here and worse still, we wouldn’t be in the financial position to do anything about it.  Dealing with importation of a dog into Australia is not an easy thing, not to mention importing Chris!  It might actually have been easier in hindsight to stay in Oxford.

But things have worked out so far.  Chris has got two jobs, both in areas he wanted to explore and on Monday I started a new job, a good job doing exactly what I had hoped I could do when I came back to Adelaide.  The next few months aren’t going to be easy, getting up, walking the dog, getting myself and Z fed and dressed, and out the door.  Not to mention establishing myself in a job that is challenging and WAY out of my comfort zone.  But I have more confidence that it will be ok.  That I can do it.  That Z will adapt.

I really didn’t think that having a baby would teach me anything about myself, that it would reveal numerous faults.   And in those early few months, I didn’t ever think I would get to the stage where I would look at my baby, my son and say I love you and actually mean it.

Now, about that final post thing. I can’t convince Dr. O’C of anything, not for lack of trying. But maybe you all can. I’ll leave it in your hands to persuade her to keep writing.

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Phantom Planet’s “The Guest” is available from and Amazon.

A fellow American in Adelaide who stumbled onto my site wrote a post the other day that got me thinking about immigration. Her point is that most expats (and other people for that matter) relish and toss around the word ‘expatriate’ but ‘cringe’ at the word immigrant. ‘Expatriate’ carries with it images of glamour, worldliness, champagne on the Seine and first class round the world flights. ’Immigrant’ conjures images of huddled masses in steerage, midnight dashes over the Rio Grande and closed doors.

I prefer the word ‘expatriate’ myself but the Australian government, probably rightly, would use the word ’immigrant’ to describe me. Maybe it’s time I started to use that word as well. Both Dr. O’C and I come from a long line of immigrants and maybe it was natural that we followed in their footsteps. Dr. O’C’s family emigrated from Ireland to Australia when she and her sister were quite young in the hopes of making a better life for their family. My great-grandparents emigrated from Europe to Canada in the early part of the 20th century to escape a continent that seemed to be in a state of endless war. My parents moved from Canada to the U.S. in the late 60’s to ride the tail end of the post-war boom. And I emigrated from the U.S. through Europe to Australia in the early part of the 21st century in search of a life that I didn’t think was available to me in the U.S.

I suspect that all of the immigrants in our bloodlines had the same goal when they picked up and left their  home – a better life for our families. All of them achieved that goal - they succeeded beyond what they thought possible in the Old Country. Now, with the unemployment rate in the Free Man household reaching 0%* we’re well on the way to that better life that brought us Down Under.

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* We’re going to give Baby Z a few years before including him in employment statistics. 12 or 13 maybe?

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Led Zeppelin’s III is available from .

Invigorated by inquisitions, I’ve decided to declare this week as Great Interview Week here at chrisdellavedova.com. I plan to feature a (hopefully) great interview a day for the week. In addition to the Interview Experiment posts, I’ve got a couple of crackers in the pipe, so check back each day this week to see who’s on the virtual couch.

The subject of the first day of Great Interview Week is, with narcissism appropriate for the blogging medium, me! Turnbaby over at And as the world Turns came up with a set of thought provoking inquiries that, surprisingly, got to the serious side of your underwhelming narrator (here’s her version of the interview). Without further ado…

Turnbaby: I see that you met your beautiful wife in college–I want to know how you met and what drew you to her and her to you.

AFM: Aha, an opportunity! A lot of people assume, as you did, that Dr. O’C and I are married. In fact, we are living in sin and have been for a number of years. We are co-habitors, co-conspirators and – in the eyes of the Australian and British governments – common law spouses. Since we’re interested in neither the Church nor the State’s blessing, that’s likely to remain the case until my Mom pesters me to death about it.

We met in Rocheport, Missouri when I was doing my Ph.D. and she a post-doc. I’ve written a couple of posts about how we met. Is it wimping out just to link to them? What drew me to her initially should be fairly obvious, have you seen her picture – absolutely gorgeous. I can only imagine that it was temporary insanity that drew her to me as I was sporting a nappy beard at the time.

TB: The first thing I noticed about your blog was your excellent taste in music. I love the songlist you initially picked to play for your boy, Z, while he was in utero. Are there some songs that you really love that you won’t play for him yet? Why?

AFM: Not really, I sort of play him what comes to mind. I’m not bothered about strong language as his mother curses like a sailor. I tend to avoid some of the really thrashy punk or heavy metal in my library as I think it’s a bit dissonant for him yet. But beyond that, pretty much Z hears what I hear. Oh, and he’s not allowed to listen to crap – no Justin, no Brittney, no Jessica. I am a music nazi.

TB: You are an Obama supporter and a self avowed “political junkie”. I know he “gives good speech”.But I need more than that. So without using the ‘hope’ or ‘change’ rhetoric–tell me why?

AFM: Because Barack Obama gave me a puppy. This is a great question because this election is more about personalities than I can remember in recent history. I thought about using your thesaurus trick for this question (yep, I read your interview – well played, Madam), but it’s a big deal so enough fannying about. It’s a fair question as they are politically pretty similar. My biggest reason for supporting Obama is because the last eight years have been evidence of how poorly a dynastic presidency works. If Clinton won and then won a second term, the same two families would have run the country for 28 years. This is very dangerous for American democracy. Second, the Boomers have had their time in power and to be honest have done a pretty piss poor job of it (I include Bill I and George II). It’s time for the next generation to take a whack at it. Third, America is in a rut and we need a kick in our collective asses. Obama, with his inspirational rhetoric, gets people thinking about the state of the State and what we can do about it. Clinton or McCain seem cynical and jaded. Oh, and Barack Obama told me to tell you hello.

TB: I love the new template and look of the blog. I’m curious about why you wanted a change and what made you pick this look.

AFM: Well, why I changed the look was because I kind of got my ass kicked in a review by Ask and You Shall Receive. It was a great experience and gave me a lot to think about. I do like the sort of clarity and simplicity that they suggested. If you want some honest feedback on your site, request a review from these guys. But beware that they don’t pull punches. Beyond that, I change it up every few months or so because I am short attention span boy.

TB: How did you end up in Oxford and what did you find most appealing about the idea of living abroad? Did that turn out how you thought it would?

AFM: I wanted to live abroad because I was sick to death of Wal-Marts and strip malls and Fox News. Oh, and a certain red-headed Irish/Aussie woman may have had just a little something to do with it.

I applied for jobs all over Europe but Oxford offered the best opportunities for both of us. It has turned out beyond my wildest dreams. I took to the European lifestyle like a duck to water. There’s just such a hugely better quality of life over here. I don’t know if I can do it justice, but it’s like you realize that there is a whole different way of life that you didn’t know existed when you were in the States. I use this analogy: where my parents live in Florida there are two shopping centers across the street from each other – literally 50 yards away from one another – and everyone drives their cars from one to the other. It just doesn’t occur to anyone to walk across the street rather than unparking your car, sitting at the red light until it turns and then reparking your car nearly as far away from the store you want to go to as you were when you started. Takes about 10 minutes. It’s the realization that it takes you 2 minutes to walk it rather than drive. That’s the change that you go through if you have a good expat experience.

TB: I see that your move to Australia is imminent. Do you think upon seeking employment there that you’ll stick with your current field of endeavor or take a leap into the new all the way?

AFM: It’s all about the new. I’m a disaffected academic and am looking forward to joining the “real world”. I’ve got no idea what the “new” is going to be and that’s what makes it exciting. What I’ve learned so far is that no matter what happens it will be as good an experience as I let it be. I am looking forward to a couple of months off in Oz to spend some time with the boy and a lot of time on the beach!

TB: Why did you start your blog and what about it inspires you to keep it up?

AFM: I started it after Dr. O’C got pregnant. One of the reasons that I’m doing this blog is as a sort of virtual “baby book”. We can keep track of his progress, but I also spend a fair bit of time talking about my own. I now find it really therapeutic – I love writing and this gives me a reason to do it. When I get feedback from my few readers it lets me know that someone appreciates it, which is just the best. Yep, I’m a slave to strokes.

TB: You are a big Georgia Bulldogs fan. What plans have you made for keeping up with games now that you’ll have a whole ‘nother time zone thing to worry about?

AFM: Time zones are not an issue for REAL fans. The math may be a challenge but no matter where I am in the world, my Saturdays (actually I think they will be Sundays in Oz) are booked from the beginning of September til the last week in November. I see that you’re a UK fan – I can’t really think of anything to say about that as y’all don’t usually provide much of a challenge on the old gridiron.

TB: Y’all obviously plan on raising Z outside of the United States, What would you like for him to know about growing up in his father’s country of birth?

AFM: For some reason I struggled with this question more than any of the others that you’ve asked. I think it is because I don’t know myself how I feel about this. I can honestly say that I can’t foresee coming back to the U.S. to live. But it is important to me that Z identifies himself as an American – and he is a natural born American citizen. I would love for Z to be able to experience some of the things that I did growing up and would love for him to be able to avoid a lot of the things that I did. Most of the things that I loved and hated from childhood are gone, though, so they wouldn’t be there for Z anyway even if we were in the States. He’s got to have his own journey.

Gosh, this is all very serious and introspective, not like me at all!

TB: What do you miss about US?

AFM: 1. Proper corn bread.
2. Wide roads.
3. Southern accents – not that dumb ass Texan via Yale accent of Bush’s – a proper Georgia, Carolina, Virginia accent.
4. Big old steaks.
5. Waffle House hashbrowns – scattered, smothered, covered and chunked.
6. My family.
7. Wing nut right-wing talk radio.
8. Popcorn with gallons of butter.
9. People that call you “sugar”.
10. Peet’s coffee (good coffee in general, the Brits just don’t get coffee)

That was off the top of my head and I’m surprised how much of it is food. Must be dinner time.

Image Credits:

Waffle House

Cornbread

This was our first trip with Z and it was fantastic to watch him starting to interact with his cousins (most of it pleasant despite some of the pictures in the slide show above) and to meet his uncle, with whom Z seemed completely enamored. We got the chance to do a lot more child-friendly touristing – ice skating in Frölunda, a wander around the grounds of Gunnebo Slott and swimming (and water sliding) in Mölndal. Z got to participate in more of the activities than you might think, though I’m still slightly hurt that his mother didn’t trust my skating skills enough to let me take him on a spin round the rink.

We jumped on the offer of babysitting from Z’s aunt and high-tailed it into town for our first “date” since last September. We went to see “Juno” at a wonderful old city-center cinema in Goteborg and had coffee and cakes afterwards. The film was great, and even though it’s a teen rom com, is entertaining enough for the old folks as well. It was subtitled in Swedish which made for interesting audience surveillance- I think that a lot of the punchlines were just lost in translation. How do you subtitle this, for example:

“Yea, you just take Soupy-Sales to prom I can think of so many cooler things to do that night. Like, you know what Bleek? I might pumice my feet, uh, I might go to Bren’s Unitarian Church, maybe get hit by a truck full of hot garbage juice, you know? Cause all those things, would be exponentially cooler than going to prom with you.”

I had heard two things about Juno coming in – it had a great soundtrack and a questionable message. The first is absolutely true – one of the best movie soundtracks since “Rushmore“. It features an outstanding singer-songwriter that I had not heard of in Kimya Dawson and classic tracks from Belle and Sebastien, Mott the Hoople, Sonic Youth, Buddy Holly and others. For this guy, a good soundtrack goes a long way toward my enjoyment of a film.

As far as the second preconception, I had heard that the film was strongly anti-abortion and kind of flippant about teen pregnancy. I don’t know about these criticisms. I tend not to look to teen comedies for my life lessons, but maybe some folks do. It is not the anti-abortion diatribe that some on the left and right have been bemoaning and celebrating. I don’t have the experience to know if teenage pregnancy is like a Belle & Sebastien song, but I reckon they might be glossing things over a bit. I just wanted to go out (without baby in tow) and have a laugh with my love and “Juno” was a great opportunity for that. Political and social commentary aside, it’s good fun and even though I could relate the most with Jason Bateman’s shady character, I came away from the cinema with a smile on my face.

It would make more sense to attach a song from “Juno” to this post, but I’m not in the mood for making sense (check this post out for one of the Belle & Sebastien tracks from the film). Instead, to finish out a week of Scandanavian music here’s one of my favorite Swedish bands Peter, Bjorn and John doing “Objects of My Affection”. Their 2006 LP “Writer’s Block” is available from Amazon, and eMusic.
“And the other day, this new friend of mine
Said something to me
‘Just because something starts differently,
Doesn´t mean it´s worth less.’
And i soaked it in, how i soaked it in,
How i soaked it in…”