Ah, footy. For a couple of years now, I’ve been trying to develop a passion for the game with only minimal success. Why bother, you sensibly ask? A couple of good reasons. First of all, tea time conversation topics. I work for a pretty ‘blokey’ school and was advised early on in my employment to choose a team as it would make Monday morning tea conversations flow a lot more easily.

True that. Most of the words bouncing around the walls of the tea room on Monday morning are ones like ‘Crows‘, ‘Power‘, ‘Cats‘, ‘Magpies‘, and so on. Over the last couple of years I’ve been able to learn the jargon well enough to feign interest, but I still don’t care that much about who’s atop the ladder or the weekly Crows crisis.

Secondly, and more importantly, I’m on a mission to give my kids a true blue upbringing despite being the children of immigrants. They’re boys. Aussie boys like sports. Aussie sports are cricket and footy (at least in SA and Victoria). Now we’ve got no problem with cricket, I took to cricket straightaway. It’s baseball, more or less, so no problems. (No worries.)

But this damned football, or footy as the locals call it, is just a bit too bizarre for my taste. Far too much punting. And I don’t understand why they haven’t developed the forward pass. I mean, I know Australia tends to lag a bit behind their North American and European cousins in adopting technology, but the forward pass has been around since 1906.

Whatever. We need a team. How to pick a team if you don’t really care for the game? Well, I figured it out – let the kid decide.

Now, without getting too inside footy, we’ve got a couple of AFL (major league) clubs in Adelaide – the Crows and the Power – both of whom suck. They also play in one of the worst stadiums I’ve ever seen and charge an obscene amount of money to sit in the rain and watch bad teams lose badly.

But we’ve also got the South Australian National Football League, a collection of local teams that would be kind of homologous to a AAA baseball league. They play at smaller ovals around the city, charge $10 for adults and nothing for kids and, best of all, let you go out on the pitch during the quarter breaks and kick your ball around. The latter, for a two year old, is the clincher.

A couple of weekends ago, Boy Z and I headed off to watch the Sturt Double Blues play host to the Glenelg Tigers, the two closest clubs to our house. I made the decision before we went that whoever won this game would be ‘our team’.  But while we were watching, I had a moment of genius  – ask the boy who he liked.

“Boy Z”, I said, “the blue ones are the Blues and the black ones are the Tigers. Who do we like?” Maybe an unfair question, because Boy Z knows that ‘tigers’ are fierce giant cats and ‘blue’ is just the colour of our Mazda hatchback.

“Ti-ers.”

Ti-ers it is my boy. Ti-ers it is. We’ve got ourselves a team.

We’ve been to a handful of games now and everything is now Tigers. He wants to wear his ‘Tigers’ shirt every day. We’ve hunted down ‘Tigers’ socks, although a few sizes too big. Stupid Australian sizes. He sleeps with his ‘Tigers’ football. We have endless conversations about the next time we’re going to see ‘Tigers football’. (Answer – the next time it isn’t raining on game day).

And I’m actually starting to like the game myself.

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Image credit:

Glenelg Tigers

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Due to my connection to the place, I’ll always listen with a tender ear to any band from Athens, Georgia. But Laminated Catis pretty special, regardless of where they come from. There seems to be a bit of a resurgence of Sixties-esque garage psychedelia happening right now. I’ve been hearing a few bands that sound like they were the spawn of 13th Floor Elevators. These Athenians, however, are the best that I’ve heard, seemlessly blending psychedelia with fuzzy grunge guitar. Laminated Cat’s “Umbrella Weather came out last week on Garden Gate Records and is available from . If nothing else, Jeff Tweedy fans have got to love the Loose Fur reference.

Our receptionist at work turned me on to my latest TV obsession – “Friday Night Lights“. I didn’t expect much – a teen melodrama a la “90210″ at best – but this is inspired television. It’s a well-written, gritty drama, with some stunning performances. For a football fan like your underwhelming correspondent, the realistic game scenes are a regrettably too rare bonus. Above all, it’s a realistic portrait of a football obsessed Southern town. Dillon, Texas could be one of a thousand towns between North Carolina and Texas. Small towns with little to draw them together but for the success or failure of their children on the gridiron.

Last week, when I started writing this post, I had intended to use a different tone, a different punchline. I had planned to talk about how I grew up in a real-life Dillon – a dead-end town in the far north of the state of Florida. I had planned to flay Lake City, a town of about 10,000 to which my family moved in 1980, my father following the tail-end of north Florida’s phosphate boom. From the way this post is flowing, it looks like I’m still going to tell you that Lake City was famous for pretty much nothing, that was a squalid rest-stop on the way to better places. Lake City was a sleepy Southern town that would have been more at home in Georgia and Alabama than the Sunshine State and like most Southern towns, football was king. Lake City was pretty far removed – geographically and culturally – from the nearest pro clubs in Tampa Bay or Atlanta. Neither were there any major colleges or universities in town. But there was a high school and much like Dillon and their Panthers, the town of Lake City lived and died with their Tigers.

Every autumn, Friday nights were reserved for football. It wasn’t just high-school students that headed downtown for the games, anyone who was anyone hit the stands of Memorial Stadium. Grown men reliving their lost youth living vicariously through seventeen and eighteen year old boys. Alums who had reached their prime at about 18 and now tried to reclaim some of that vigor by hollering out from the steel bleachers at boys in purple and gold on the cropped grass below. The mood of the town for the following week was dictated by the number on the scoreboard at the end of four quarters.

At some point in my teens I realized that Lake City had nothing to offer me. I got the hell out of Lake City as soon as I could. At seventeen I graduated and after one more summer in a devil town, hit the road for college. A couple more summers at home and I never looked back. I came back for visits. My parents remained there until about five years ago when they headed for greener pastures themselves. With their departure I knew I’d never be back to what I have to consider my ‘hometown’.

I’ve written about Lake City before. I’ve written with scorn about the people and the complete lack of culture and opportunities. I’ve written about the poor public education system I’ve written about my gratitude that I never have to go back, that I no longer have a single tie to the place. But I don’t want this to be another post about how much the place I grew up sucked. It did suck.  Yes, I took what I consider to be more than my fair share of shit in high school, much of it from guys who were a lot like the gridiron starts of “Friday Night Lights”.  But that taught me to be quick witted, allowed me the charisma I still use to get out of tough spots today. Yes, the public schools of Columbia County were absolutely dreadful – some of the worst in a state full of pretty awful public schools. But I had some great individual teachers and I had opportunities to excel beyond the curriculum. I learned how to think on my own and learn outside of the classroom – skills that I still use today.  Lake City offered little in the way of culture (OK, I got to see Johnny Cash in the community college gym once) and no career opportunities outside of the Super Wal-Mart (currently the city’s number one employer). But this taught me to keep my eyes open for opportunity wherever it may raise its head and to find entertainment in the simplest things. Above all, Lake City, in all it’s stifling blandness taught me to see the beauty in other places.

I am where I am because of my personal history – both the people, places and things that were fantastic and the people, places and things that sucked. Lake City sucked. But without those years in a devil town, I may not be where I am today. I’m happy today, and I guess it’s time to recognize that Lake City played a role in getting me here. So, through gritted teeth, I’d like to thank a shitty little dead end town in north Florida for its role in getting me where I am today.

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One of my favorite things about “Friday Night Lights” is the soundtrack  – subtle indie and alt-country tracks that accent the show perfectly. One of the songs that I’ve got stuck in my head and that inspired this post is Daniel Johnston’s “Devil Town”. I love this Bright Eyes cover from “Noise Floor”. Neither the original nor the Bright Eyes cover is featured on the soundtrack, but the latter is the best I’ve heard.

Image Credits:

Lake City #1

This year, it is a speed bump in the college football season. But it’s still the Deep South’s Oldest Rivalry. It’s still a game full of tradition and pride. And it’s still a game that Georgia needs to win. 

I’ve got a very special guest poster for you guys today. Ladies and Gentlemen, the man with the loosest hips east of the Mississippi, the pompadour that makes the ladies swoon, the King of the Alabama plains -  Auburn Elvis!

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As rivalries go, I think the Deep South’s Oldest is also one of the most congenial. Both teams have a similar “feel” to their history. Georgia has Dooley, Hershel, and Uga, while we have Dye, Bo, and War Eagle. There’s a mutual respect for each that makes rival fans easier to get along with the rest of the year. So, most smack talk between the two is more akin to rowdy brothers than angry next-door neighbors.

Rest assured, my lack of in-your-face chest thumping is a reflection of the good southern manners practiced here on the plains and has nothing to do with our embarrassing performances on the field this season.  But this is the time for “smack talk”, so I’ll offer what I hope will happen along with a prediction of what I expect to happen.

I HOPE Auburn’s lines will stage a reenactment of the “funeral game”, pushing the Dawgs around like a 9-year-old school girl. I EXPECT we’ll look really good between the 30’s but be attempting a lot of field goals after breaking down in the red zone.

I HOPE Auburn will pitch a tent in Georgia’s backfield, forcing Stafford to throw early and often. I EXPECT Moreno to break a few long runs off some shoddy Auburn arm-tackles.

I HOPE Auburn will manage the late-game clock with Swiss-like precision. I EXPECT our fourth quarter options to be determined more by Georgia’s ability to move the ball than our own.

I HOPE Auburn wins the game, and gains newfound energy and hunger going into the all-important Iron Bowl. I EXPECT Auburn to falter quite a bit, only staying in the game by virtue of some sloppy Georgia play.
Of late, wins in this series have come in pairs. And with Georgia winning the previous two, I have to stay with tradition and pick the Tigers… by four (which, given Auburn’s offense, is a likely score of 6 to 2).

Thankyouverymuch and War Eagle baby!

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And in response, your underwhelming narrator:

These smack talk posts get harder every week. After the dismantling in Jacksonville and a last second win in Louisville (or Lexington?), it is hard to drum up the hubris required to verbally cudgel your opponent. At the bottom of everything, I think that this games is a matchup between a good team playing badly and bad team playing badly.  In theory the former should win. Woo hoo, Go Dawgs!

How’s that? Not really as “smacky” as you’ve come to expect here at A Free Man? I’m trying to veer away from the hubris, as that hasn’t worked particularly well this year. In addition, I actually like Auburn. As The King noted, we’re similar schools, similar programs and there just isn’t a lot of animosity. They have a horrible choice of team colors and one of the most mystifying cheers in the country (War Eagle? Huh?), but Auburn folks, unlike some others in the SEC (I’m talking to you Gators, Vols and Cocks) are a pretty decent lot. Hell, I even like old Tubby, the Auburn coach. He’s a classy guy, a gentleman among Spurriers and Meyers.

But mostly, I’m really nervous about this game. The Tigers have an absolutely wretched offense, 105th in scoring offense among the 119 teams. Unfortunately, the sure cure for a bad offense is a date with the Georgia Bulldogs defense. I’m worried that the team is coming apart at the seams, I’m worried that we’re going to head down to the plains and get smacked around. The Tigers are playing for their post-season – if they don’t beat us (or ‘Bama) they will be home in December and January for the first time since 1999. Georgia hasn’t won three in a row in this series since 1980-82. After the mistake laden performance in wherever the hell the University of Kentucky plays I have a horrible niggling feeling in my extremities that we are ripe to be the victim of an upset.

I do think we’ll win but as much as I’d like to see a repeat of the beat down we gave them in Athens last year, I have a bad feeling that this will be a close and fairly pitiful affair.

I have completely failed to bring the smack, so I’ll leave it up to the boys to bring it. We need to go over to Auburn and put a stomping on the Plainsmen. I’d like to see this…

…but fear that the team just isn’t in that place this year.

Nonetheless, we’ve got a game to win. Let’s just do it.

Go Dawgs! Sic ‘em!

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Georgia at Auburn kicks off at 12:30 Eastern (4:00 a.m. Adelaide) on Raycom. It’s available online and even though I don’t have the chops to talk smack, I’ll be up early watching. That’s what real fans do.

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The Broken Family Band used to be the best alt-country act in the British Isles. They’re still around but less country these days than alt. Check out A Free Man’s interview with the band’s frontman Steven Adams. If you like what you hear, support blogger friendly artists by buying Broken Family Band records here.

Dawgs are bigger, but kitties have claws.

I’m certain that A Free Man’s loyal readers who happen to be SEC football fans think it’s really sweet of him to invite a Kentucky fan to write in his smack down series.  I mean, really.  But there is something you might not know about UK fans.  We are all heart.  We are not bandwagoners.  Once you’re a UK fan, you’re always a UK fan, and you’ll defend every single play until the field/court is cleared, the lights have been dimmed, and the stadium/arena is long silent.

A couple things you also may not know is that UK football actually is pretty historic.  Again, unless you attended the University of Kentucky or you’re just a real football nerd, there’s no reason to know something like, UK was the first SEC school to even play the game!  We were the first school to sign an African-American player in the SEC.

Paul “Bear” Bryant.

Okay, seriously.  I could go on with little bits of trivia about historic UK football, but let’s be realistic for a moment, even if it hurts.  Until about eight years ago, if you said something about the UK football team, the response would have been, “Kentucky has a football team?  Who knew?”  We weren’t exactly a big deal, and we know that.  We haven’t won a championship since, I believe, 1976?  “The Immortals” are the only team undefeated in UK history, and that was in 1898.  It’s pretty sad if you have to go that far back in order to find something to brag about, I know.  So let’s move forward a few… decades.

Coach Rich Brooks has slowly but surely challenged and fought and struggled our team into something we can talk about above a whisper once again. Suddenly we’re winning small, yet noticeable bowl games and ending years on the positive side of things.  (No one expected us to beat Clemson in the Music City Bowl, now, did you.)  Last year we ranked ninth nationally in passing.  You might be thinking why would we brag about being ninth? That was higher than any other SEC team, so there!

<We had a winning season last year, and that had us pumped and ready for this year, but we knew it would be a struggle from the very beginning.  After all, we did lose our star player, Andre Woodson, to the NFL.  I know you aren’t supposed to hang all your hopes on one player, no “I” in “team”, blah blah blah.  But let’s be honest, the dude kicked serious ass, and now he’s gone.

So we’re back to most teams giving us a solid nod with a knowing smile behind the helmet.  It would be so very dangerous to count us out just yet, however.  We’ve been known to surprise.  Certainly, most people didn’t even bother to watch that game against #1 LSU last year which meant they didn’t see us beat them in that triple overtime battle.

Yes, we may have to reach back in time in order to find something to slingshot us forward, but like I said, when you’re a UK fan, you’re solid. You’ll do whatever it takes to find something to brag about.  I’ve gone as far as to get guys to a game by reminding them Ashley Judd never misses one. UK all the way, baby!

So, go ahead, be cocky.  Be sure we’re just a blip on your radar.  Plan to give us the beating Florida deserved.  Prepare to take out your humiliation on us, we can handle it.  Just don’t count us out before it’s safe to do so. We’ve been known to bite your ass when you turn around to strut away.

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And in reply, your underwhelming correspondent…

Cocky is not what Georgia Bulldogs fans are right now, Angel. You know, when you lose by 39 points to your arch-enemy it’s kind of hard to carry on with the bravado and bluster that I have to date this season. In fact, it’s hard to put much smack in my talk at all this week. I’m hoping that the team doesn’t have as much trouble getting up for this game as I am.

The fact of the matter is that I have very little confidence in the Dawgs this week. They didn’t fare any better against Florida (damn, I hate Florida) than Kentucky did. The last time the Dawgs headed up the road to Lexington or Louisville or wherever the university in Kentucky is, they got beat 24-20. Last year at home, the ‘Cats gave them a run. The ‘Cats are kind of like Vandy, always annoying and gritty and determined to pull the upset.  And they do so more than they should.

Hell, I would say we’ve got a pretty good chance of going up there (is it Frankfurt?) and getting properly pussy whipped**.

You know what, no. I shall not be beaten. I shall not be demoralized. If I am then the terrorists win.  Angel, we’re going to come up to wherever the hell your cute little Moonshine Tech is and smack you six ways to Sunday.  The ‘Cats aren’t going to know what hit them and you’re absolutely right that Horsebreeder Stadium will be silent, but most likely from the opening kick. The ‘Dawgs have three more games coming up, including the Deep South’s Oldest Rivalry and Clean, Old Fashioned Hate. Kentucky is just an appetizer just a speed bump on the road to a 10 – 2 season. And we’re going to take out the collective frustrations of the Bulldog Nation on your meek little kitties.

Do you know why? So I never have to see this expression on Boy Z’s face again when I dress him in the red and black. Watch out Kentucky, you’ve got an angry pack of Dawgs headed your way.

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* You had to know that today’s song would be “Kentucky Woman”, didn’t you? The only question was which one – the campy Neil Diamond original or the gritty Waylon Jennings cover. For me, it’s  a no brainer, but I had to guess which version Angel would prefer. That last sentence about ass biting clinched it: Waylon all the way. Rest in peace, Hoss.

**Pardon the obvious, and in dreadfully poor taste, double entendre.

Without someone to spar with, it’s not much fun, so I’ll keep things short and sweet. The Tigers are not a natural rival, in fact the last time we faced up with the Bayou Bengals was 2005 in the SEC Championship Game. The Tigers came in heavily favored with a 10-1 record and the only thing between them and a possible shot at a national championship being the Dawgs. That game didn’t turn out so well for LSU. They may be the defending champs, but until they beat us, we’re the defending champs of this matchup.

This game is at LSU’s Tiger Stadium, better known as Death Valley. It’s called that for a reason – the Tigers are tough as nails at home. Death Valley at night is a scary place. Fortunately, it’s a 3:30 kick and the Dawgs play better on the road than at home. In addition to their spanking in The Swamp, LSU has put up underwhelming wins against subpar Auburn and South Carolina teams and perennial cellar dweller Missy State. To be fair, the Dawgs haven’t exactly been setting the SEC on fire either.  It ain’t going to be pretty, my friends, but I think we can take LSU in their house. Georgia 31, LSU 27

Geaux Dawgs!

Once again, apologies for not coming through with an LSU fan but, with all due respect, the  fault lies squarely…

Wait, what’s that? I’m being told that, creeping in out of the swamps of Louisiana comes this missive, soggy and reeking of jasmine and decay. Lousiana Brown of Louisiana Love has staggered in off the shrimp boat to come through for the Tigers:

The countdown begins: Mere days before Georgia knows what a skewered catfish feels like in the bayou. To be honest, Georgia is good enough and strong enough, but can Mark Richt outcoach Les Miles? That’s the question. Richt’s bread and butter this season has been to throw it early and often to insane freshman A.J. Green. He’s lived up to the billing so far, and had his longest reception of the season (49 yards) last week vs. Vandy. LSU has no answer, so we’ll cede 10 points because of that. But don’t think for a moment that Matt Stafford will actually have time to plant his feet and throw to him. LSU has gotten used to calling all-out blitzes the last 2 weeks, look for more on Saturday.

Knowshon Moreno is a great back, but he won’t be able to run on LSU straight up, and LSU will not put 8 in the box either. On the other side of the coin, LSU’s resurgent Kieland Williams will supplement the durable Charles Scott and give the UGA defensive line just enough trouble to off-set the passing game. Jarrett Lee will throw an interception, so we’ll cede another 7 points to the Dawgs. LSU has played from behind in all its major conference games this season, this game won’t be any different. In the 4th quarter, when the UGA defense tires a bit, look for the deep ball to LSU’s speedy receivers Demetrius Byrd and Brandon Lefell. LSU 28- UGA 24.

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Georgia at LSU kicks off at 3:30 p.m. Eastern (6:00 a.m. Sunday Adelaide) on CBS. Expats, you can watch the game on CBS.com with a tricky little fix that The Vol Abroad sorted out (see, some Vol fans are OK). Send me a mail if you need to know how.

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Beck’s “Sea Change is available from .

For example: October 14, 2006 in Athens, Georgia. A fine autumn day and the University of Georgia’s homecoming weekend. (For those of you outside of the USA, homecoming is a chance for alumni to return to their university, get drunk like they’re still 19 and watch their football team humiliate some sub par opponent. Good times.) A week previous, another team from Tennessee had come in to Sanford Stadium and beaten us down. But spirits were high, I mean this is just Vandy, right? Should be no problem.

Fast forward a few hours and , in a silent Sanford Stadium, the scoreboard reads Vanderbilt 24, Georgia 22. 

I had to go searching for a Vandy fan to serve as this week’s guest blogger, there ain’t many of them. Jason of Hire Joe Girardi valiantly stepped up for the Dores. I suspect that Jason and I could come up with a number of topics to debate (Topic: The New York Yankees are the root of all that’s evil. Topic: Libertarianism represents the human race at its most selfish and petty.) We’ve restricted the debate to the task at hand – Vanderbilt at Georgia. First, Jason for the visiting team:

Funny how A Free Man said he wanted “revenge” on Vanderbilt for the ‘06 loss in Athens.

Perhaps you forgot last year in Nashville, when VU’s RB fumbled on UGA’s 5 yard line late in the 4th? Then the Georgia field goal to win the game and the stomping on the V at midfield by Georgia’s players? Yes, we remember that, and I don’t want to hear how Richt put a stop to it. I was at that game and Richt watched as his team gathered and then began to celebrate at midfield…he could have stopped them way before he did.

So both teams are 5-1, Georgia spanked by Saban and his crew while VU lost
a close game at Starkville.

Why is VU going to win?

1) GA’s offensive line: Much ink has been spilled by the media after the loss of Sturdivant. Georgia’s o-line must adapt to a multi-front, multi-blitz package by Coach Bobby Johnson’s (CBJ’s) defense.

2) Adams at QB: His wheels and his efficient passing arm make him a serious threat to UGA.

3) Special Teams…CBJ’s special teams don’t make mistakes and D.J. Moore will hurt the bulldogs on Saturday.

This Vanderbilt supporter sees Georgia as the third most hated team in the SEC, behind Tennessee and Florida.

Final Score: VU 27, GA 21.

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And in response, your underwhelming correspondent:

As an academic, I actually have a great deal of respect for Vanderbilt – a private, academically rigorous university in a conference full of land grant football schools that are not. Schools like Auburn University, Mississippi State University and the University of Florida that are known more for TDs than Ph.Ds. But, Vandy put a hurting on us a couple of years ago that still stings a bit, and I’m afraid its time to beat them down on the gridiron.

Jason would like you to think that Georgia’s three point win in Nashville last year was revenge enough. He brings up the regrettable incident in which some of our players decided to stomp on Vandy’s star at midfield. And yes, I will remind you that Coach Mark Richt went out and pushed his players around to stop that ridiculous behavior. The University of Georgia does not celebrate a three point win against the ‘Dores.

That game and its aftermath was a season changer for the Dawgs. After the Vandy “win” and CMR’s outburst, we were a different team. We went 6 – 0 for the remainder of the season and finished ranked number 2 in the nation. The Dawgs are at a similar point in the season this year, the Alabama loss through us for a loop, but we could turn this season around and still be in the hunt for a National Championship. But first, there’s Vandy. Like an annoying little mosquito that you can’t get rid of and occasionally get’s a bite in – that’s Vandy. They’re coming back to Athens this year and again it’s Homecoming. This, Jason, is where revenge is carried out.

The ‘Dores had a cute little start to the season, but Missy State showed them for what they were last weekend. Jason’s tried to brush it off, but any loss in Starkville is a bad loss. I suspect that Vandy will struggle for bowl eligibility again this year. On paper, there’s no contest and it’s time to swat these boys.  You don’t get to come to Athens and beat us on our Homecoming*. Last year was just prequel, this year is the real deal. Watch out ‘Dores.

Georgia 31, Vandy 10

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The good news for expat Dagws is that ESPN’s got video coverage of the game on their Gameplan scheme. The bad news is that kickoff is 12:30 p.m. Eastern (3:00 a.m. Sunday in Adelaide). Looks like Boy Z will have to wear some of his new Dawg gear to bed and I’ll be watching alone.

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* Actually, I’ve just been informed that Vandy has beaten us at homecoming three times, 1922, 1994 and 2006. All the more cause for revenge.

“Accelerate”, the latest from Athens, Georgia’s own R.E.M., is available from .

Well, for the last 370 days I have been plotting my vengeance. But alas, it is not to be. The Vol Abroad, despite being a graduate of the University of Tennessee, is not a fool. She’s demurred on my challenge to repeat last year’s bet, so the world will have to wait to see Buddy in glorious red and black. She has agreed to write up a guest post, attempting to sing the praises of the hapless Tennessee Volunteers who have a date for destruction in Athens this weekend. 

Visitors get the first shot here, so let’s see what The Vol Abroad has to say in defense of her hillbilly orangemen:

My grandfather was one of the finest men I ever met.  He believed in temperance and civic duty and going to church on Sunday (and Wednesday) and looking a man in the eye.  And he believed in the Tennessee Volunteers.  I’m not so much on the church going or the temperance, but I managed to absorb the love of the Vols. And this is something I’m passing on to my sixteen month old son.

As a third generation graduate of the University of Tennessee on both sides of my family and with both my degrees coming from that hallowed institution, there was never any other place for me to put my fan love.  Cut me, and I do bleed orange.

But my British husband, who’s described on my blog as the Vol-in-Law, is merely a Volunteer by marriage.  He also has a family tradition in higher education.  He’s a third generation graduate of Oxford University.

So Buddy has inherited rival traditions.  Oxford on the one hand, and Tennessee on the other.  But what kind of love can a boy have for Oxford? As far as I know, their only major sporting event is the Oxford-Cambridge boat race. Go Dark Blues? Beat the Light Blues?   Sure, I guess it’s ok to dress up and stroll around the Thames with a Pimms in hand.  But that hardly compares to joining almost 100,000 fellow fans dressed in orange and singing Rocky Top, over and over and over again in a manner guaranteed to raise a migraine in the skull of any opposing fan.

But of course, as an expat, I don’t have the societal reinforcement of SEC football fandom, but I’m doing my best to raise him right. Dressing him in orange, teaching him to say ‘Go Vols’, trying to lull him to sleep with Rocky Top (bad idea), giving him little Smokey toys to play with and ensuring that he gets sufficient doses of Vol Network internet radio coverage.  He may be the only boy in the world whose baby album features a picture of the baby of a Georgia fan dressed in Tennessee Orange because his daddy lost a bet.  Before he attends his first football game at Neyland Stadium, he’ll know every word of Rocky Top, he’ll know about running through the T, and he’ll understand the Volunteer grumble in a bad season.  And he’ll hate, hate, hate Alabama, Florida and Georgia.

Yep, I’m raising my boy right.

-0-

Maybe this isn’t the best year to be laying down the smack talk about football.  My beloved Tennessee Volunteers don’t seem to be having their finest season.   But as our fearless leader said only last week, we’re still a work in progress and I’m sure all the fine recruiting and two-a-days in the Tennessee heat will come to fruition this Saturday when Tennessee thumps Georgia. Again.

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And in reply, speaking for the home team, your underwhelming correspondent:

Like John McCain and the economy, you’ll note that The Vol Abroad doesn’t want to talk much about football this year. Taking her cues from the G.O.P. playbook, she’s trying to turn the discussion to family values. Well that’s just fine, I think we all know what’s going to happen on the football field this Saturday, so let’s talk about family.

My family is a wandering one. I always felt a kinship with gypsies growing up and held on to the dream of dropping out of mainstream society and running away with the gypsies until about the 274th time that some wild-eyed gypsy woman tried to bully me into buying a sickly geranium on the streets of Oxford.

My point is that my family hasn’t spent three generations in the same country, never mind manning the same moonshine still on some mountain side.  So for me, the University of Georgia was a choice that I made with clear eyes and a clear head. I wanted to attend the finest educational institution that the South had to offer, so there was no real decision to be made when I received an acceptance letter with an Athens postmark*.

Now, we’re half a world away from Old Georgia and chances are that Boy Z may not follow in his father’s educational footsteps in the same way that I didn’t follow in hos grandfather’s.  Boy Z may never walk under the Arches as a student, may never study in the shade of the oaks on North Campus, may never sit with his classmates in Sanford Stadium sweating in polyester gowns under the brutal June sun.

But I will guaran-damn-tee you two things. First, he will be the biggest Georgia Bulldogs fan in Australia, at least until he gets old enough to rebel. Even then as long as he doesn’t cheer for Tennessee or Florida, it’ll be OK**. Second, one day he will walk into Sanford Stadium with his Dad and watch the glory of the Georgia Bulldogs between the hedges. He’ll hear the roar of the crowd, the sound of 90,000 plus voices barking a kick-off, he’ll hear the Red Coat Band play “Glory, Glory”.

And on Sunday morning he’ll sit with me as we listen to the Georgia Bulldogs dismantle the Tennessee Volunteers.

Now, let’s talk just a little about the real issue: the game. It’s personal after the beat down that The Vols put on us last year and the humiliation that was visited upon myself, my son and my dog. Fortunately for A Free Man’s honor, it looks like a good year for revenge. Tennessee is 2 – 3 on the year with losses to a hapless UCLA team, a sub-par Auburn team and an overrated Florida team. Their wins have come against UAB and, in a squeaker, Northern Illinois. The Vols offense is ranked 107th out of 119 Division 1 teams. Now, admittedly, Georgia was not impressive against Alabama two weeks ago, but the boys in red and black have had two weeks to stew in their embarassment. Tennessee has taken us apart for the last two years and it’s time for revenge. If the Dawgs can’t get up for this game, then they just can’t get up full stop.

We’re doing all we can for the Dawgs from half a world away. As you can see in that photo above, Boy Z and I went out and made a sacrifice to Nemesis, the Greek goddess of revenge. That kangaroo was the closest thing we could find to a fleabitten, mangy coon hound. And if you listen carefully on Saturday afternoon, you’ll hear us singing:

Glory, glory to old Georgia!
Glory, glory to old Georgia!
Glory, glory to old Georgia!
G-E-O-R-G-I-A.

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Tennessee at Georgia kicks off at 3:30 p.m. Eastern (6:00 a.m. Sunday Adelaide or 8:30 p.m. London). It’s televised on CBS in the States. CBS offers the game for free online but ONLY IN THE U.S. Damn you, CBS! The Vol Abroad was working on a hack, perhaps she’ll let us know if she sorted it out. Otherwise, it’s internet radio for the expat fans.

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Ryan Adams’ “Demolition” is available from .

Vol fan in horror borrowed from Hey Jenny Slater (excellent Dawg site).

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* For sticklers for the truth, this is actually a longer story and thus not strictly true. The whole, longwinded tale can be found here.

** If he ever cheers for Tennessee or Florida or becomes a vegan, I’m kicking his ass out.

I’m probably not the best person to sing the praises of the Mizzou football. Regular readers of this blog will know that my loyalties lie a bit further south and east of Columbia. But, the University of Missouri was kind enough to give me a Ph.D. and thus the key to my current life, so I guess I owe them at least a bit of support.

During my tenure in Columbia, the Missouri Tigers athletic teams made choking into an art. I remember the 2003 – 2004 basketball season, when a lot of pundits had the Tigers going all the way. So, Dr. O’C and I figured, what the hell, let’s buy season tickets and go along for the ride. They were actually ranked No. 1 in the nation for a very short period of time. Then they lost to Illinois. Then Memphis. Then Belmont, a college of 4,000 students. And they just kept losing. I still want my money back. After I left, it came out that actually the Tigers had been cheating a fair bit, the team went from bad to worse and pretty boy coach Quin Snyder got the sack.

The football team. That’s a different story.  They were clean as a whistle. No dodgy dealings there. Their combined record during my time at Mizzou was 24 – 32. We never bought season tickets to watch the football team, largely because my one experience at Faurot Field was one of the worst college football games I’ve ever been seen – a hapless Baylor team and drunken frat boys are a bad combination.

BUT, things have changed at Mizzou. A new A.D., a new football coach and a new attitude. After a stunning 12 – 2 season last year, the Tigers have roared to a 4 – 0 start this year. I wish I could be in Columbia this autumn to see what it’s like when there’s a real national championship contender in town. Conference play starts this week for he Tigers, though, and this is where things have a tendency to go pear shaped. The Huskers pose the first real threat, however, and it’s a mental block that Mizzou has got to get past. The Tigers haven’t won in Lincoln since 1978.

Fortunately for the Tigers, one of the changes that’s happened since I left in 2004 is that Nebraska has just collapsed as a football program. There’s no doubt the the Huskers were once a powerhouse. Nebraska has five national titles and in the mid 90s were just a behemoth of a program. But a decade has passed and Nebraska’s day in the sun has passed as well. Their old-school Big 8 option style has gone the way of Betamax and 8-tracks. I mean Princeton won five titles as well, but we don’t here much about those Tigers anymore.

Nope, Gary Pinkel and Chase Daniel and Jeremy Maclin are the new faces of Big 12 football and I’m fairly confident that will become painfully clear to the Huskers on Saturday night. Thirty years is a long time, but every streak comes to an end. This one’s time is done.

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And speaking for the Cornholers, Huskers, dammit. Speaking for the Cornhuskers, April from The Bauer Confidential:

Is there any other team?!?!?  Go Cornhuskers!  Whoot!

So here’s the deal, I was born in Nebraska, my parents are Nebraskans, but I have to admit that of my more than a quarter century (and no, I’m not saying how much more), I’ve only lived in that state a handful of years.  I spent every summer until I was 16 there, with my Dad and family; I try to visit regularly, so I still feel like a Nebraskan.  It’s one of those things that’s in your blood!  We bleed Husker red!

Husker football has a rather storied past, one that Mizzou (my grad school alma mater) can’t come close to matching.  With five national championships (to MU’s big-fat zero), over 800 wins, and a ranking as the winningest college football program in the last 50 years, the Huskers are widely considered one of the best football teams in history.  Traditionally, defense has been Nebraska’s strong suit, and you know what they say about defense winning championships.  With Tom Osborne back on board as the school’s athletic director, things are looking up.
Now the upstart Tigers think they’re something special.  With a national ranking they have something to prove.  They were on a 25-year loosing streak to the Huskers that only ended a few years ago (and yes I remember those damn goal posts being drug through the streets of Columbia, what a proud moment).  This time they’re headed into Husker territory.  Memorial Stadium will be a sea of red on Saturday, and holds 23,000 more fans than the Tigers are used to at Faurot Field.  Husker football is like a religion to Nebraskans; their fans are not so fickle as those at Mizzou.  Only since they’ve started winning have people really started calling themselves Tiger fans, whereas the Nebraska stadium has been sold out for more than 25 years, in winning and loosing seasons.

Nebraska has a new coach, and if he wants to keep his job, he’ll have his team all geared up and looking for blood come Saturday.  Bo Pelini has even more to prove than the Tigers.  With a loss last week to VT, the Huskers are fired up to bring the winning streak back, especially at home.  The Tigers are getting cocky; they’re expecting a romp.  They aren’t used to crowds like this, and winning on the road has never been Pinkel’s strong suit.  So bring it on Tigers, the Huskers are ready for you and they smell your weakness.  Last week your defense looked less than impressive, allowing far more points than it should have.  Chase Daniels may be your saving grace, but he’s in serious trouble with the Husker Blackshirts gunning for him!  Go Big Red!

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Missouri at Nebraska kicks off at 9:00 p.m. Eastern (10:30 a.m. Sunday in Adelaide) on ESPN.

Bruce Springsteen’s “Nebraska” is available from .

With the SEC Football season moving in to full swing this week, I thought I would give the enemies, er opponents, of my beloved Georgia Bulldogs an opportunity to sing their team’s praises before the Dawgs take them apart. It’s just good sportsmanship, really. It was a bit of a challenge to find an Alabama fan who could form sentences well enough to put together a post, but I’ve found a fan of the Tide who was lucky enough to be educated at a proper university. Inexplicably, he retains his love for the University of Alabama. 

We’ll give the visitors the first shot. Writing, surprisingly eloquently, for the Alabama Crimson Tide is Alex from esmon dot net:

I was born where the red tide rolls and the sun droops low over the rose-colored skies at twilight.

I was born on the balmy shores of Alabama at the height of the era of terry cloth shorts and big plastic-framed amber vision sunglasses. Mobile is my hometown, perched right on the Gulf of Mexico. When I was one, Hurricane Edward roared through our city — as the story goes, I slept right through it. We lived there until I was three. The Gulf is a pretty neat place full of great seafood dives and a very, very slow pace of life.

But there are a few things that make people in the great state of Alabama get off their collective asses and shout for something that’s not just half-price night at an all-you-can-eat shrimp buffet. Football in Alabama means one thing (and I don’t care what the Auburn fans think, because who cares about them anyway): The Crimson Tide.

There are few teams that can match the storied history of ‘Bama football. I mean, come on — Paul “Bear” Bryant. Need I say more?

I will anyway. Here’s a number to mull over: 12. And no, that does not stand for the collective football team IQ. That’s National Championships, my friends. And honestly, what’s more intimidating that a team named after a harmful algal bloom of phytoplankton containing photosynthetic pigments?

Now, there are those from Georgia (you know – that state that borders us to the east and blocks our view of the Atlantic) that think they have a decent football squad. They may have had a few decent seasons, and I think they have even managed a few SEC crowns. But don’t be fooled — those Pop Warner wanna-be’s are nothing compared to the thundering herd that is the Crimson Tide. They talk about the great years in the 80s when some guy named Walker won a Heisman. Then they talk about the great teams under the current regime of Coach Richt. Then when they are reminded that none of those great teams under Richt have won a championship, they turn into Cubs fans — It’s all “Oh well, next year will be the year.”

Seriously, how many next years can there be? (Actually, as a Cubs fan, I know there can be quite a few “next years”)

And how many National Championships for the Dawgs? Two. Now I may be a simple boy from Alabama, but even I know that two is less than 12. But don’t worry Chris — The Gym Dogs have won nine gymnastics National Championships. I hear they do a mean halftime show.

So Chris, after the dust settles on Saturday and the stadium has emptied and your  “Dawgs” have been thoroughly throttled and washed into the Gulf, you can call me and we will talk all about next year.

Roll Tide.

And in reply, your underwhelming narrator:

Thanks, Alex, that’s very well said for a Bama fan, but you betray yourself as being the alum of a better school.

I’ve got a number for you too: 13. That’s the number of years that have passed since the Tide last beat Georgia. I’m pretty sure that it’s going to be 14 after Saturday.

Alex, all those purty words cover up one essential fact about your boys in crimson. The truth that they are pure evil.

Bama didn’t used to be evil. In the days of the great Bryant, when they won all those National Championships, they were the pride of the South. But things have been rough in the past couple of decades in Tuscaloosa and a couple of years ago, the powers that be in Tuscaloosa quite literally made a deal with the devil. They hired away the pretty much universally loathed Nick Saban from Miami’s NFL team for some obscene amount of money. I hope it’s worth it for you guys, but I don’t think it will be. There’s only one letter separating Saban and Satan and the bad guy always loses in the end.

So as the manifestation of pure evil rolls up into the north Georgia hills on Saturday, there will be a band of brave Georgia boys waiting between the hedges of Sanford Stadium They will be waiting to represent truth, justice and Good in the face of a crimson and white onslaught led by Satan incarnate.

Fortunately, that brave band of boys is one of the finest football teams to come out of the South in quite some time. Lovers of peace and freedom can breathe a bit easily knowing that they are proudly defended by a Georgia Bulldogs team that is getting better every week. The Tide are bringing in some unholy 400 pound demon called Cody to try and crush the Dawgs offense, but if they stop our dynamic tailback Knowshon Moreno then we can go to the air with quarterbacking phenom Matthew Stafford. We’re ready in every way for the demonic invasion.

The Tide is going to find Athens an unwelcoming place, a place for these evil upstarts to be put in their place. The players have called for a Blackout, replicating conditions under which we spanked another little team from Alabama. It is times like this that I really miss the States. A September Saturday night in Athens, Sanford Stadium packed and roaring for their heroes.  I can almost hear it already as the Dawgs burst out of the tunnel in black ready to tear the Tide down, bit by bit. This time the good guys are wearing black.

Oh, and Alex, this is next year. (For the Dawgs, don’t know about the Cubs)

A Free Man’s pick: Georgia 28, Alabama 14.

Georgia-Alabama kicks off at 7:45 p.m. Eastern (9:15 a.m. Sunday in Adelaide) on ESPN. I’m pretty excited because Boy Z’s great-aunt is going to let us watch the game over at their house. This will be the first time I see a game live on TV since 2004. Just seems right for my boys to win, doesn’t it.

Go Dawgs! Sic’ em!

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Neil Young’s “Harvest” is available from .

Lot of controversy on A Free Man lately, so I’ve decided to ease into something we can all agree as the weekend nears – the supremacy of my almae matres’ football teams*. Both the Universities of Georgia and Missouri are in action again this weekend, so the Free household will spend an Australian Sunday morning hunched over the computer keeping up with what’s happening on the gridiron half a world away.

Missouri’s got another easy one this weekend, hosting MAC powerhouse Buffalo. The way that the Tigers’ offense is clicking right now, however, I’m pretty sure that they could beat the Buffalo Bills, nevermind the Bulls. I’m looking forward to seeing what Mizzou can do in a couple of weeks time when they go over to Lincoln for a big game with the Cornholers. This one will be a walk in the park: Missouri 66, Buffalo 13.

Now, Georgia. The Dawgs failed to whelm on Saturday against the Gamecocks of South Carolina. They ground out a win in Columbia but have to travel across the country this week for a rare appearance out west against the Arizona State Sun Devils. Arizona State looked a lot scarier last week before they completely laid an egg against a lesser opponent, but it’s still a dicey game for the Dawgs. Three keys for a Bulldog win in Tempe:

1.  The offensive line has got to figure it out. We have one of the best backfields in the country, but if they keep getting crushed because their line falls apart there’s not much they can do.
2. Special teams. If you regularly give the opposition the ball on the 40, they’re going to be able to score regardless of how good your D is.
3. D backs. Come on guys, S.C. got 271 yards in the air and they aren’t particularly good. ASU’s Rudy Carpenter is 5th in the country in passing. The secondary absolutely must get it together.

It’s a late kickoff on Saturday, which means that I get to sleep in on Sunday for a change. Internet radio only, kickoff at 9:30 a.m. Sunday Adelaide time. I think Arizona State will make this a game, but the Dawgs pull it out on the road: Georgia 24, Arizona State 17.

Finally, two of my least favorite teams are head to head this week as the Marsh Skinks creep out of Gainesville up into the Smokies to face the Hillbillies of Tennessee. If only it were possible for both of these teams to lose…

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Speaking of karma, it’s about time for some more link love. Here are five bloggers who have been on their game lately:

1. One of my old timey blogging buddies, Not Afraid To Use It has taken things to a new level lately with a serial set of posts about  a cancer scare and the medical and personal repurcussions thereof. Her writing is just raw emotion. Fantastic. Start here and follow the story along.
2. Music blogging is a tough gig. I’m not the best at it, which is one of the reasons that you just see an occasional music post from me. It’s just not very rewarding as you don’t get a ton of comments. You’ve got to be something special to get your readers involved. Well, from the wilds of inner city Glasgow comes an amphibian to show us all the way . Toad of Song, by Toad is a master of getting feedback from a notoriously reticent audience. See this post about Neds and this one on Calexico as an example of Toad at his best.
3. Everyone and their bloggin’ grannies posted about 9/11 on 9/11 and fair enough, it’s a big day if your an American. I tend to be suspicious of this day, because I think that the Right has been using it for political gain since it happened. But three bloggers really got to me, got past the cynicism that’s built up in me about this day in the seven years since. You may not want to think about it again, but I’ve got to give People in the Sun, Nitro Vista and Formerly Fun kudos for very different, yet very powerful 9/11 posts that didn’t make me want to click away as soon as I saw that it was a 9/11 post.
4. New discovery of the week: a fellow Floridian, a fellow expat, a fellow dweller Down Under – check out Florida Girl in Sydney. I’m still going through her archives, but am enjoying what I’m reading.
5. I hesitate to point you here because I’m cringing in anticipation of what is no doubt going to be a hefty dose of public humiliation. Maggie, damn her, gave my name to Brian as a potentially willing victim for his Fug Mug Friday this week. For some reason, I agreed to participate and sent Brian two photos that really shouldn’t see the light of day. I’m not sure which he chose, so I’ll be as surprised as you. Check Brian’s site and see if you can figure out which Fugly is your underwhelming correspondent.

Have a great weekend!

Hurray, hurrah! Mizzou! Mizzou!

Go Dawgs ! Sic ‘em!

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Wilco’s Being There, perhaps their finest, is available from .