Christmas in Australia is all ass backwards, it’s true. There’s the expectation of sitting down for a full roast dinner on a day that temperatures might reach 40°C. There’s all the same trappings of Christmas – plastic snowmen that nearly melt in the brutal Antipodean summer sun. But now that  I’m beginning to get my head around it, I’m beginning to see the charm.

Christmas in Australia is days at the beach. It is barbecues on sweltering, sunny afternoons. It is long weekend days watching test cricket, listening for that distinctive sound of leather on wood  that precedes the bails tumbling. Christmas down under is ice cream and mangoes and cherries and mince pies. Not all at once, of course. It is sunny days on Rundle Mall singing along to ‘Winter Wonderland’ or ‘White Christmas’ in shorts and sandals.It is hot, dry northerlies and ineffective air conditioning and sweating on the verandah with my feet in the kids’ paddling pool. It is splashing toddler boys hosing down the dog, each other and occasionally their mum.

Christmas in Australia is ass backwards. Absolutely. But it is also about redefining the holiday. It’s about new traditions for a new life. That is what I came here for and Christmas by Christmas it is what I’m getting.

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This track by Tony Dekker’s Great Lake Swimmers has become one of my favourite ‘alternative’ Christmas carols. This one and a handful of other great songs are from Great Lake Swimmers‘ “Hands in Dirty Ground” EP, which is available from .

They’re both still too young to properly appreciate Christmas, but I’m working on a pre-emptive attitude adjustment. I’ve already eaten my body weight in mince pies. Dr. O’C and I have erected our own ‘tree’ for the first time ever. I’m even thinking of taking Boy Z to see Santa’s Magic Cave in the city on Monday. It isn’t entirely clear to me why Santa lives in a cave in Australia, maybe the North Pole is too far away. But that’s neither here nor there. I’m the Grinch post heart-size increase this year, post-haunt Ebeneezer Scrooge.

And part of getting in the Christmas spirit, especially when Christmas comes at the height of summer, is Christmas music. Last year it was a Joni Mitchell Christmas for your underwhelming narrator:

It’s coming on Christmas
They’re cutting down trees
They’re putting up reindeer
And singing songs of joy and peace
Oh I wish I had a river
I could skate away on…”

Joni Mitchell “River” (”Blue” )

But this year, in the spirit of a better attitude, I’m looking for a more cheerful Christmas soundtrack. Problem is that most of my favorites are pretty somber affairs. I’m not much of a ‘Holly, Jolly Christmas’ sort of guy. For example, Tom Waits paints a pretty bleak, and in my experience accurate, picture of the Christmas experience. I prefer Neko Case’s cover to the original:

Neko Case – “Christmas Card from a Hooker in Minneapolis” (”New Coat of Pain – The Songs of Tom Waits” )

Sufjan Stevens seems to have a similarly plaintive view of the winter holidays, his apparently rooted in family dysfunction:

Sufjan Stevens – “That Was The Worst Christmas Ever” (”Songs for Christmas” )

I’m not sure who wrote the original (Alan Jackson maybe?) but whoever did must have spent some holidays with the Stevenses. The Decemberists cover is just gold:

The Decemberists – “Please Daddy, Don’t Get Drunk This Christmas” (”Alternative Rock Christmas” )

OK, OK, festive Christmas spirit, Chris. How about some jazz? John Coltrane’s version of “Greensleeves” is festive:

John Coltrane “Greensleeves” (”Ballads” )

And this little diddy from one of my favourite Christmas movies:

Vince Guaraldi Trio “Linus and Lucy” (”A Charlie Brown Christmas” )

Then there’s this Motown classic:

Marvin Gaye “Purple Snowflakes” (”Motown Christmas Vol. 2″ )

If purple isn’t your thing, what about blue?

 Elvis Presley – “Blue Christmas” (”Elvis Christmas” )

I also like my Christmas with a side of sexy:

Mae West – “Put the Loot in the Boot, Santa” (”Christmas Classics” )

But still my favorite, the greatest Christmas song of all time:

The Pogues – “Fairytale of New York” (”If I Should Fall From Grace With God” )

It was christmas eve babe
In the drunk tank
An old man said to me: won’t see another one…

Nothing says Christmas cheer like drunken Irishmen.

Hurry up, only 16 14 (oops, better get going) shopping days to get your Chinese robot hamster or whatever you kids are buying this year.

For the first six months that he was in swimming classes in Australia, he was a model student – a water baby star. When the instructor wanted someone to demonstrate something she turned to Boy Z and I. Sometimes it was difficult to perform various manouvers – what with my chest all swollen with pride – but we did our best. He moved up the baby swimming ladder at like a spider monkey after a low hanging banana and I was convinced that he would be ready for the Olympics come 2016. Phrases like ‘youngest gold medal swimmer in Australian history’ rang gaily in my head.

Ah, those were the days. The heady days of December.

But lately he’s not doing so well. For the last few months, every single class is a struggle. He just will not do any of the exercises without screaming, yelling and fighting. He insists on having his hands full of toys, making any actual swimming impossible. All the other toddlers are happily going about their business – doing ‘dips’ under water, clambering out of the pool, leaping off the side into the waiting arms of their proud parents. My kid – sits scowling on the steps with 19 balls in his hands and screeches every time I try to get him to do anything.

God I hate swimming.

The people at the swim center have been helpful, offering the advice to let the kid just do what makes him happy. The most important thing is that he’s happy in the pool. If need be, let him play on his own for the whole class and he’ll come out of this phase. Just relax and enjoy the time together.

But that drives me insane. I know he can do it. He has done it. Why won’t he do it now. DO IT BOY Z! Dammit!

Now, I don’t want to be one of those Dads. You know, the ones that are banned from all manner of little league sidelines and dugouts. I don’t want to be  a high pressure father. But this is a most embarrassing predicament. Back in the halcyon days when Boy Z was the model student, we used to snicker and smirk at other students who struggled in the way that we are now. Karma is a bitch.

I don’t even want to go anymore, but I paid for the term.But more than that, I don’t want to be a quitter.

Quitting is something I’ve excelled at in my life. Piano lessons, swim team, youth soccer, university, jobs, relationships – you name it, I’ve quit it. I’m not proud of this and one of my goals as a father is not to pass on this particular trait. I want to make sure that Boy Z and his sibling know that it is OK to fail at something as long as you keep trying. Preferable, in fact. I want to hammer home that cliche about the going getting tough and the tough getting going.

If I quit swimming lessons, I’m afraid that I’ve given the boy a gentle push down a slippery slope.

I know he’s only 20 months old and chances are if we quit now, he won’t remember ever having taken swimming lessons. I know this sounds mad. But I’ve never claimed to be entirely sane.

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Great Lake Swimmers, the vehicle for Canadian singer-songwriter Tony Dekker, has a new full-length LP out. ‘Lost Channels’ is a very strong album from an artist who keeps getting better. The new one has tones of early R.E.M. and marks a musical progression from his last record. Dekker features highly on my list of ‘good guys’ – he’s recorded some wonderful music for kids and even sat down for an interview with me. If you like “Pulling on a Line”, buy “Lost Channels” from .

Happy Birthday, my pea. My chicken. My monkey.

Happy Birthday, Z-Man. My Super Z.

Happy Birthday, Zachary P. Quack.

It’s been a year, a year beyond my wildest dreams. I remember clearly, and hope I always do, the days leading up to your arrival in the world. I remember the seemingly endless labor, probably worse for your Mum. I remember running out of energy entirely and sleeping on a bed made of various delivery implements on the floor of the delivery room. I remember the absolute powerlessness that I felt when things started to go a bit pear shaped at the end. Most of all I remember the feeling, one that I am entirely incapable of describing in words, when I first saw the top of your head. When I broke down in tears while saying, “It’s a boy, it’s a boy.” When I first held you in my arms. When I picked you up and everything changed, as a better writer than me has said.

I remember the song that was playing when you were born. It was Whiskeytown’s cover of Gram Parsons “A Song For You”. It wouldn’t have been my choice, but as I held you for the first time – too delicately, too nervously – it made perfect sense and it’s burned into my soul now as a song for you.

“Oh my land is like a wild goose
Wanders all around everywhere
Trembles and it shakes till every tree is loose
It rolls the meadows and it rolls the nails
So take me down to your dance floor
And I wont mind the people when they stare
Paint a different color on your front door
And tomorrow we will still be there…”

MP3: Whiskeytown – “A Song For You”

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A Free Man, Dr. O’C and A Free Boy are celebrating today. Unfortunately two of us are celebrating at work and the third at kid jail, but we’ll get there. Since it seems that most of you aren’t going to be able to make it to the party tomorrow, Boy Z and I decided to give you a little bit of a gift – some of out favorite tunes of late.

MP3: Great Lake Swimmers – “See You On The Moon”

This is one of our favorite sing-a-long tracks by a wonderful lo-fi folk outfit. I interviewed Tony Dekker, the brains behind Great Lake Swimmers, a little while ago and his record Oniagra is one of my favorites from 2007.

MP3: Kimya Dawson & Antsy Pants – “Tree Hugger”

I’ve been singing this one to Baby Z for weeks. Made famous by “Juno”, but Kimya Dawson is just fantastic. Check out her record “Remember That I Love You”.

MP3: Black Sabbath – “Iron Man”

Finally, my post yesterday caused a bit of a ruckus and some strong feelings. But it’s important to remember that whether liberal or conservative, religious or athiest, most of us have the same ultimate goal – a good life for ourselves and our family. We all want to raise our children in the best way can. And I’m sure that we all start off the day by listening to a little Black Sabbath with our kids. Right?

“Heavy boots of lead
Fills his victims full of dread
Running as fast as they can
Iron man lives again!”

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One last thing. Baby Z – Boy Z – told me that all he wants for his birthday is to get to see Steve Spurrier cry again. His beloved Georgia Bulldogs are headed over to Columbia, SC to play the Layin’ Hens of the University of South Carolina. Now, the Old Ball Coach laid one on us in Athens last year, but that was before Z’s time. I’ve regaled the boy with cautionary tales about Spurrier’s evilness, particularly when he was at the University of Florida. Z recognizes just how crucial it is that we smack Spurrier and his Chickens around on Saturday.

Georgia visits South Carolina on Saturday with a 3:30 p.m. Eastern (5:00 a.m. Sunday in Adelaide) kick. No internet video that I’m aware of  so we’ll be listening.

In the interest of equal time for nourishing mothers, Missouri has another easy one as they host the Nevada Wolfpack on Saturday at 12:30 p.m. Eastern (2:00 a.m. Sunday in Adelaide).

Hurray, hurrah! Mizzou! Mizzou!

Sic ‘em Dawgs!

Most importantly, Happy Birthday, my sweet boy.

MP3: Oxford Collapse – “The Birthday Wars”

-Over the Rhine – “The Poopsmith Song”

The strains of preparing for a trans-continental move must be getting to me because I’m finding the blogging juices have run bone dry again at this week’s end. Dehisced, I’m resorting to miscellaneous tidbits again

First, an update on my quest for decent kids music. Dr. O’C hooked me up with a compilation from Nettwerk Records called “For The Kids Three”. It features kid-friendly songs from different indie artists – the likes of Moby, The Barenaked Ladies, Of Montreal and many more. I’ve posted a couple of my favorites – Over the Rhine’s “The Poopsmith Song” and Great Lake Swimmers’ “See You On The Moon”. Before listening to these, I’ve got to tell you that “The Poopsmith Song” is deviously catchy. Even if you don’t have kids it is very possible that you will wander around for the rest of the day singing “poop in the potty, poop goes in the potty”. You’ve been warned. Great Lake Swimmers‘ “See You On The Moon” is really the better song. I liked it so much that I went in search of more music from these guys. Their “proper” music is this wonderful nature inspired indie-folk – all banjo and acoustic guitar and glockenspiel. I tracked down Tony Dekker, the heart and soul of Great Lake Swimmers, and got him to sit down with me on the virtual coach for an interview. It’s up today at A Free Man – check it out!

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Maybe I should start a new feature, call it Lazy Ass Friday, in which I seek to entertain my gentle readers by sending them somewhere else.

1. Judgmental cat is unpleased
2. Let’s get something straight
3. Chaos Theory: March 2008
4. The Sacajawea Theory, v 2.0
5. Vacation, All I Ever Wanted; Vacation, Had To Get Away

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Excellence? Wow, after I just shifted all of my writing responsibility for the day to other bloggers? Well, fellow expat blogger (and fan of alliteration) Kathy at What Do I Know gives me more credit than I give to myself. Thanks, thoroughly thrilled and titillated. I’m meant to pass it on and I think I’ll go out on a limb and offer this award to someone I don’t know so well. Ray at Nitro Vista got a well deserved, and much sought after, “I fucking love you” review from the hard to please folks of Ask And Ye Shall Receive. He’s a fellow “daddy blogger” up in the wilds of a Wisconsin college town. He’s apparently also a Wilco fan and as any Wilco fan should, has a witty, wry way with words. He deserves this award much more than your underwhelming narrator.

“For The Kids Three” is available from Amazon.

Great Lake Swimmers is the vehicle for Toronto based singer-songwriter Tony Dekker’s pastoral folk-tinged music. They released a self-titled debut in 2003 and followed this up with two more records for Toronto’s weewerk. Last summer, Great Lake Swimmers released their big league debut “Ongiara”, on Nettwerk. On the latest record Dekker was joined by Erik Arnesen on guitar and banjo and Colin Huebert on percussion. “Ongiara” is full haunting, lyrical and seductively textured acoustic music.

Tony Dekker joined A Free Man on the virtual couch recently to answer a few questions about Great Lake Swimmers.

AFM: I’ve got to kind of abashedly admit that I first heard your music on a compilation called “For The Kids 3″. “See You On The Moon” was one of my favorite tracks off of that compilation and encouraged me to check out more of your music. How’d you get involved with that project?

TD: I was invited to contribute a children’s song to a compilation for a Toronto record label, and so wrote one & recorded it in an afternoon. It originally came out on Paperbag Records, on a compilation which they named “See You On The Moon!: Songs For Kids Of All Ages” after the song I wrote for it. That compilation also had Allan Sparhawk, and Sufjan Stevens on it, among others. The song was later picked up for the “For The Kids” series.

AFM: You grew up in Wainfleet, Ontario not far from my old hometown on the American side of the river. I think that the banks of the Niagara River are a beautiful part of the world. I get a really pastoral feeling from your music, particularly the most recent record “Ongiara”. How much of your inspiration is rooted in nature?

TD: I feel very much inspired by the natural world. I think there is an inherent mystery and spirituality in it, and I think it merits further investigation through song.

AFM: I love the string interaction between you and Erik Arnesen on the banjo on the latest record. I know that Great Lake Swimmers started out as a solo project. How long has that collaboration been going on and is it going to continue? Do you prefer to work alone or with the other players?

TD: I started playing with Erik some time in 2004. With the various incarnations of the band, we attempted to rearrange the songs, especially from the first album, for playing live. Leading up to the recording Bodies And Minds, we already had a good number of shows behind us, so continuing that lineup for that record was pretty natural. The interaction has gotten a lot more intuitive the more we’ve played together, and I think that has really come through on Ongiara. Writing is a pretty solitary act for me, but I like collaborating with people when I have something to start the conversation. Erik is definitely a core member of the GLS camp and I expect that our collaboration will continue until we are old and shriveled.

AFM: On your myspace page a fan asks: “When are you coming to Australia? Please, please please?” As someone who’s currently undergoing an Antipodean emigration I’d love to know the answer to that question.

TD: Unfortunately I don’t have the answer to that right now. I would very much like to come back, but there are no plans in the near future. If someone reads this and wants to book a tour for us, I am all ears.

AFM: There are a lot of great bands coming out of Canada these days – particularly Vancouver and Montreal. From Toronto, well certainly Feist, but who else should we be paying attention to from Toronto and environs?

TD: Timber Timbre, Sandro Perri, Picastro, Basia Bulat, Ohbijou, and The Burning Hell, to name a few, are all from Toronto & area and I like them a lot.

AFM: I see that you recently covered Neil Diamond’s “Song Sung Blue” and did an instrumental score for the film of the same name. How was the experience of scoring a soundtrack? Do you have any spiritual connection with Diamond?

TD: Doing the soundtrack for “Song Sung Blue” was extremely gratifying from a creative standpoint. I was able to exercise a certain part of my brain that I wouldn’t normally use on my own material. There was a bit more freedom there to enhance the mood of particular scenes in a non-obtrusive way, instead of creating a mood from scratch. I was a fan of Neil Diamond before working on the film, but the documentary has definitely given me a wider perspective and a deeper appreciation of his work. It’s also given me a nudge to dig deeper into his catalogue, which is monolithic.

AFM: Thinking about the kids again – sorry, recent father so the nippers are on my brain – you recently played for a kid’s show on CBC. How did that go? How do kids respond to your music? Who’s a better audience – kids or “adults”?

TD: For the CBC show, we weren’t actually playing to an audience, at least not one directly in front of us. But generally speaking, kids can be an alright audience, except that it’s hard to keep their attention even in the best of situations. To try to win them over with quiet folk songs can be somewhat challenging. The children’s song was fun to write & record, but my main concern is with my other work, which is more suited to an adult audience, I suppose. And if it helps to put your kids to sleep, all the better.

AFM: Fantasy time – from what guitarist (living or dead) would you most like a lesson?

TD: Dead: John Fahey (RIP). Alive: Thurston Moore. As I try to imagine what a guitar lesson from either of these two would be like, it makes my mind itchy.

AFM: “Ongiara” came out just about a year ago and I noticed that there’s a gap in your touring schedule. Does that mean can we expect the next record from Great Lake Swimmers soon?

TD: I’m taking some time right now to focus on writing and making demos. We’ll see what it yields; hopefully, more songs.

AFM: Bonus – Of these three, who is the best musical representative of Canada – Joni Mitchell, The Cowboy Junkies or Rufus Wainwright?

TD: My instinct says Cowboy Junkies. But I’m also a big Joni Mitchell fan. And Rufus Wainwright, he’s pretty great too. So, all of the above. How Canadian is that?

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Just the right amount of Canadian. Thanks to Tony for taking the time to talk to us. Check out “Your Rocky Spine” from the Great Lake Swimmers latest LP. If you like it, the beautiful “Ongiara” is available from , eMusic and Amazon.